Whoo! Double digits! Celebrate, people! Celebrate! Or Navi will pay you a…visit. Yeah, a visit…

Sometimes, it amazes me how much space I can fill with random crap.

Once they had left Kakariko Village, Link pulled out a remote. Navi raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you sure you want to do that, Link?" she asked.

Link's reply was some drool dribbling down his chin. "Good enough. Press the button."

Link pressed the big red button in the center of the remote. There was silence for a moment. Then…

"What was that?" asked Kasuto as he heard a loud noise.

"It's time for fun!" Link called. As he spoke, a giant Transformer house came barreling out of the forest at the other end of Hyrule Field. Navi's smile grew wider.

"ATTACK!" Link cried, pointing behind them at the village.

The Transformer charged past the group into the village. They all heard the satisfying noises of a village exploding behind them before they moved on to Zora's River.

"Well, at least we went out with a bang," Kasuto sighed dreamily, remembering all the wonderful explosions that had occurred during their leaving of Kakariko. Or at least, the smoking crater that used to be Kakariko Village.

"You're telling me," Navi agreed. "I don't think I've ever seen the inside of a human that burned before. Or inside-out. Or squished. Or interdimensional. Speaking of interdimensional, I think I saw a dimensional rift leading to a place where this adventure is just an interactive story with you as a little kid and me as an annoying fairy with the ability –"

"Stop," said Kasuto, putting his hand up. "The fourth wall is down."

"What's a fourth wall?" asked Link.

"A fourth wall is the ability to talk about things that shouldn't exist, plus knowing exactly what they are and how to use them to take over the world," said Navi, putting on a pair of glasses to make herself look smarter. They just made her look weird.

"…I don't think that's it," mused Kasuto. Navi glared at him.

"Do you have anything better?" Kasuto was silent. "I thought so."

"Well, this is it," said Kasuto as the group stood at the entrance to Zora's River.

"The end," Navi agreed.

"I'm hungry," stated Link.

"Aw, go soak your heads," muttered Navi as she shoved the other two into the river. Link eventually spluttered to the surface, dragging Kasuto with him.

"What was that for?" he exclaimed after he wrung his hat out. "I'm a psychopathic cross-dressing pyromaniac shemale elf! I have needs!"

"So, you finally admit it?" asked Navi.

"Admit what?"

"That you're a psychopathic cross-dressing pyromaniac shemale elf with a floppy green hat."

"I concede to all of that…except the psychopathic part."

Navi gasped. Kasuto gasped. Ghoma gasped. Kingy, who was using some kind of sight link with Ghoma, gasped. K.G., who was stalking them, gasped. The Goddesses gasped. The Deku Stump gasped. Argorock gasped. Saki Amamiya gasped. The person who's reading this groaned from all the gasping.

"What?" asked Link, confused.

"Y-you said concede!"

"…So?"

"I want my mommy!" wailed Kasuto running at K.G.'s hiding spot in fear. Navi managed to restrain him before he got there, though.

"There, there, don't cry," said Navi, trying to calm him down with a gentle head-pat with her slingshot. "We'll fix the big bad Link and his mean long words."

A giant meteor shot through the clouds and hit Link, killing him. Navi sweatdropped.

"Well, that's one way to fix him," she muttered to herself.

Link ran back up Zora's River when he respawned. "What'd I miss?"

Kasuto stabbed Link in the back with his sword, killing him again.

"That joke is used way too often," he muttered sourly. Link ran back in.

"What'd –"

Navi flashed her chainsaw at Link and he shut up.

"No, it's this way!" argued Link as he held the map. Kasuto grabbed the map away from him.

"No, it's this way!" he said, turning the map upside-down.

"This way!"

"This way!"

"Both of you, shut up!" screamed Navi, holding her ears. A whistling sound from above made them all look up.

"Oh look, a grenade," said Link nonchalantly. The grenade flew straight to where Ghoma was hiding above the waterfall. Ghoma tried to get away, but the grenade had a heat-seeking function that followed her eye.

"Close the goddamn eye!" yelled Kingy into his radio.

She closed her eye, just before the grenade exploded, throwing her over the top of the waterfall and into the river.

"Hey, it's Ghoma!" exclaimed Link as Ghoma floated past them.

Navi ignored him. After all, what were the odds that one of her partners-in-sabotage would be floating past them at that moment?

The group stood at the entrance to the waterfall, considering on what to do next.

"Let's blow it up!" decided Link. Navi slapped him.

"Idiot! If we blow up the waterfall, then we can't get in!" she scolded.

"Why can't we just do what we did earlier in the chapter?" asked Kasuto.

"Which part, the Transformer, the meteor, or the loss of the fourth wall?" Navi replied.

"All of them."

Navi thought about it for a moment. "…I like, I like… But what're we going to do about actually getting into Zora's Domain?"

"Go forward in time and then back in time so that it's fixed by a rift in the space-time continuum?"

Navi sighed. "Idiot. We can't go forward in time until we get the Master Sword, which we can't get until we get the Zora's Sapphire, which we get inside Zora's Domain, preventing us from going forward in time until we go back in time to fix the thing we need to go forward in time!"

"My head hurts…" moaned Link. He was ignored.

"But we don't know how to get in there!" argued Kasuto. "We could need to hit it with a meteor for all we know!"

Navi silently pointed to a triangle with three triangles in the middle on the ground in front of the waterfall.

"That could mean anything!"

Navi pointed at a sign next to the triangle.

"That could say anything!"

Navi wrote down what was on the sign and gave it to him. It read, "Play Zelda's Lullaby, you moron."

"That could be any Zelda's Lullaby!" he argued.

Navi pulled out her chainsaw and started it up.

Kasuto respawned in front of the gate.

"Why do I keep going back there?" he mused. "Why haven't I just gone home by now?"

A nuke blew up in the sky.

Kasuto was silent. "…That could be any nuke."

Another one blew up, closer.

"But I don't think I should take chances!"

A third nuke blew up. "Alright, alright, I'm going!"

(At a nearby underground nuclear testing faculty)

"Sir, we've gotten all of them under control now!" a soldier announced to his superior. "The strange signal that caused the nuclear missiles to launch is gone!"

The commander thought, stroking the beard that all commanders seem to have. "…I wonder why they could've been launching themselves?"

Far, far away, Navi cackled as she hit the button on one of her favorite remotes for a fourth time.

"Wow…" whispered Kasuto as he went through the entrance. "Lookit the pretty lights…"

The walls of Zora's Domain were covered in Christmas tree lights, and the lake was filled with waterproof lights. Hanging from the ceiling was a disco ball.

"There's nothing like this in the strategy guide!" said Navi as she frantically flipped through its pages. "Oh wait, nevermind, here it is: 'Zora's Domain has recently been renovated into a permanent disco party.' Well, that's helpful."

"Party on, dudes!" yelled one of the nearby dancing Zoras.

"Dude, they're, like, new here," said another one.

"Alright, dudes!" cried a third Zora. "This place was, like, renovated sometime a few weeks ago, by order of our awesome king. His unawesome daughter was all, like, uncool with the new digs, so she went to Lordy Jabu-thingy to, like, cry in his fin or something."

The entire group was silent, which was a first.

"…What?" asked Link eventually. Kasuto shushed him.

"It's a surfer guy," he whispered to Link. "They're not very dangerous, but they can be really annoying when they want to be."

"Hey, dude, that was, like, uncool," muttered the Zora.

"Don't care," said Navi offhandedly. The Zora went off back to his friends, grumpily muttering under his breath.

"…Can we hit something with a meteor now?" asked Kasuto. Navi patted him on the head.

"Soon, my pet. Soon."

As the group turned the corner into the throne room, they all had to gasp and raise their hands in front of their eyes, to protect themselves from the sight that coming from within. For, within the throne room of the king of the Zoras, was King Zora, breakdancing, without a shirt on.

As they stood there covering their eyes, King Zora eventually caught sight of them and stopped, quickly put his shirt back on. He coughed, making them take their hands of their eyes to see if it was safe to look.

"You have done well to come this far," the king read off of a piece of paper. "However, it all ends now! Wait a second…" He flipped the paper over. "Whoops! This is my shopping list!"

"…How do you get a stereotypical final villain speech out of a shopping list?" asked Navi slowly. King Zora shrugged.

"I'm dyslexic, it's in the blood of the Zoras."

"Can you do me a favor?" asked Kasuto.

"Shoot."

"Can you never take your shirt off again?"

Navi sat up, rubbing her sore butt. "Did you have to get us kicked out of there? I was just about to ask him for the Zora's Sapphire!"

Kasuto shrugged. "Details."

"How're we going to get in there now?" asked Link. Navi smirked.

"Simple, Link. Kasuto, it's time."

Kasuto was happy. Very, very happy.

A gigantic meteor shot out of the sky and hit the entrance to Zora's Domain, causing a cave-in inside the cavern. Many, many Zoras died in the making of the footage of the impact for TV veiwing.

And, in front of Lord Jabu-Jabu, Kasuto stood there cackling loudly.

"That was awesome! I want to do it again!"

"Easy, there," Navi cautioned. "Link said that about his Transformer, so we're going to need to split between the two methods of destruction."

"…Does destruction mean you get to blow stuff up?"

"Yes it does, Kasuto, yes it does."

Link ran over to the two from the ruins of the cave. "Hey, guys, I found a bottle! And it's got something in it!"

Navi shrugged. "It's probably Ruto's message."

"Hey, Navi, what's pizza?" asked Link after looking at the message, which was a Pizza Hut flyer.

"…"

"Hang on, there something on the other side." Link flipped the paper over and gasped. "Navi! Someone needs help!"

Navi sighed as Link got all excited about the message.

"I must save him/her/it! CHARRRGE!" Link pulled out his sword and ran at Jabu-Jabu.

Navi blinked. One second, Link was there, and the next, he was gone. "Hey, Kasuto –" She turned to see that Kasuto was gone.

"Jabu-Jabu must be hungry," she decided. The next second, she had gone.

And the moral of this chapter is: when all else fails, hit something with a meteor.

It's a good thing I got this chapter up before school started again, so I can tell you, even though you probably already know, that updates will need to slow down, thanks to schoolwork, plus the beginning of 8th grade. Fun.