Chapter 10

Leia strapped herself into her seat on the Tuelimi shuttle well hidden inside the monstrous freighter, glad that she had been the first of the Special Forces group to board. At least she would have a few moments to get a better handle on her emotions before anyone else showed up.

This morning had already been extremely difficult, at least in part because Han couldn't possibly have been more tender and loving than he had been last night. She would have happily stayed on the Falcon wrapped in his strong arms forever, but they awoke this morning to the clanging of the alert informing the Rebels to prepare for commencement of battle.

Before they got up to dress, they made love once more, the warmth of his body permeating her every pore, the feeling of his hands tangled in her hair making her wish more than every that they could run away. They'd dressed silently afterwards, each trying to come to grips with the reality that they'd have to emerge from their short-lived cocoon and separate to go into battle.

When the second alarm rang, telling them to report to their stations, Han grasped Leia by the arms and looked intently into her eyes.

"The next time I see you, Princess," Han said, "Coruscant will have fallen."

She nodded silently, but he continued to look at her intently. It took her a moment to realize that he wasn't just stating something he wanted to be fact. He was willing her to say it and believe it too.

"The next time I see you," she replied, "Coruscant will have fallen and the Empire won't be able to part us again." She could almost feel the visceral ache of hoping those words were true.

"Damn right," Han had deployed his most heart-melting smile. "Nobody's gonna take me away from my wife…Wife. I really like that word."

"Don't you forget that, flyboy," Leia replied.

"Never, Your Worship."

They'd walked into the main hold of the ship, where Chewie had laid out a fresh ring of Alderaanian nut bread for Leia take with her. She said her goodbyes to him, reminding him to keep his crazy pilot in line, then rode the lift up to the top hatch with Han, where she turned to him once more and kissed him gently.

"I love you."

"I know," he replied. "and I love you."

"I know."

"Now get outta here, Princess," Han said. "Your crazy Rebellion has an Empire to finish off."

"Yes," she took a deep breath, willing herself to put one foot in front of the other. "We do. I'll see you on the other side of the battle."

"You will."

She walked through the docking anteroom, squaring her small shoulders as she went. She didn't know how long Han had watched her leaving; she didn't trust herself not to turn and run to him if she looked back. So she kept walking away purposefully, hoping that everything they'd said was true, but also relieved that she'd managed to tuck a small minidat note into the pocket of his utility vest when he was in the fresher just in case she couldn't keep the promises they'd made.

Leia jumped as a soldier boarding the shuttle distracted her from her thoughts. She looked at her chronometer and found that her warning to herself to pull it together had led directly into five minutes of reliving the events of the last few hours and wandering deeper into her thoughts of Han. She couldn't let that happen again; distraction like that would endanger her, Luke, and the whole mission. She willed herself to concentrate only on the here and now.

Fortunately – or, she considered, maybe intentionally – Luke walked in at just that moment and sat down next to her.

"Good morning."

"If there are any Jedi tricks to keep your mind completely in the present, I need to know them now," she replied shortly.

Luke smiled at her tone. He knew she wasn't upset with him – he'd stopped by at the Falcon a few minutes ago to say his farewells to Han and found his friend in much the same state. They were both suffering, and both afraid for the other. Yoda may have taught Luke that fear was of the Dark Side, but Luke felt that perhaps Yoda's statement needed some context: giving in to fear was of the Dark Side, but feeling fear for one you loved and pushing forward for the right…no, that wasn't of the Dark Side, whatever Yoda may say.

"I'm not sure I can teach you any 'tricks' that quickly," he intended to rib her with the word "tricks," but she appeared not to notice. "Leia, are you going to be okay?"

Her eyebrows flew together into a scowl. "Of course I am. I have to be." she snapped.

Luke was glad to see her bristle at any intimation that she might not hold it together. He remembered how Han had noticed Leia's indomitable spirit immediately. He hoped that someday Leia wouldn't need to call on that spirit so much.

As Luke strapped himself in for take-off, Leia decided that she had to tell Luke about her emotional struggles on Coruscant. She'd wondered if it was wise to unburden herself while simultaneously burdening Luke, but she need to know if her feelings were hers alone, based on the evil cast of characters who had dominated her life on the planet, or if they did actually support Luke's contention that she was strong in the Force. She still half-hoped that Luke was wrong, and that her ability to sense Luke's feelings and presence was due to sharing the same womb with him for nine months instead.

"Luke, I need to tell you something," she said, trying to keep her voice low enough so that the others boarding the shuttle wouldn't hear her.

Luke nodded briefly.

"When I was a Senator on Coruscant," she began slowly, not quite sure how to explain her feelings, "I always felt – no, that's not right, it was more that I could sense – something horribly amiss. Something that I thought of as feeling very much like death."

She looked at Luke searchingly, questioning whether what she was saying made any kind of sense. She thought she saw understanding in his eyes, so she plunged ahead.

"It wasn't – whatever I was sensing, it wasn't the Emperor. There was absolutely a feeling of evil that emanated from him, but this was different. This felt entirely more personal. As if the darkness were somehow connected to me," she concluded, looking to Luke for confirmation that she wasn't out of her mind.

He took her hand, thinking of his own experience at the cave on Dagobah. He didn't know if she was ready to hear, with everything happening today, that her Force sensitivity would lead directly to experiences like the one she was describing. So he kept quiet.

"Luke, I feel like something horrific happened on Coruscant. Something worse than I even know. And it's somehow connected to me, or maybe to us. The only way that's possible is through Vader. When we're on the planet, I need you to tell me if you sense it too."

"I will," Luke promised. "But we're going to go in, do what we have to do, and get out, so we're not going to hang around inspecting it right now, ok? Your fiancé would have my head if I went on a personal mission this time, Jedi or not."

"HEY!" Jax Cantos, a tall Corellian special forces soldier, called to Leia as he entered the shuttle. "Hey, I just figured out you're Solo's girl—"

Luke closed his eyes, trying not to laugh. Such a casual appraisal of Leia's role in the universe likely would provoke a fantastically sharp response. He felt the anger flare in her, then die out. He also noticed that Riekkan, entering behind Jax, was flaming red with anger and embarrassment at the informal address.

"Perhaps, Commander Cantos, General Solo is my guy—" she raised an eyebrow mischievously, stunning everyone on the shuttle except Cantos. "And I wonder how many credits that guy promised you if you would try to get my ire up by entering that way."

Jax grinned back. "A hundred."

Luke and Riekkan exchanged glances, not altogether sure what was transpiring. Leia, however, had seen right through Cantos to Han. If Han couldn't be there to keep her in battle mode with his banter, he'd decided to find a reasonable Corellian substitute to do so.

"He underpaid you, Cantos," Leia said. "Perhaps that's the reason for your poor performance. And does seeing right through you mean that fifty of those credits are mine?"

Jax shook his head. "You should have heard how many he offered me to accidentally throw you off the freighter just before we took off."

Leia laughed out loud. Yes, Han probably had made that offer, and not entirely in jest, either.

"So why aren't I on my royal rear-end in the docking bay?" Leia looked pointedly in the direction of the closing hatch.

"Because I'm more afraid of you than I am of him, Princess," Cantos replied.

"Good call, Commander," Leia said as they heard the roar of the freighter's engines being lit.

LLLLLLLLLLLLL

Han sat silently in the Falcon's cockpit watching as the freighter carrying Leia took to the stars, saying a silent prayer for Leia's safety to all the ancient gods of Corellia in whom he'd never believed. He hated that the Tuelimi shuttle carrying Leia was hidden away in the third freighter to depart. He'd understood why it wasn't on the first – if they were compromised, the first freighter would be vaporized as soon as it hit the checkpoint – but he thought it a serious miscalculation that they didn't get the shuttle on the second freighter to go, because anything could go wrong by the time two freighters had made it to the planet. The plan was tactically bad, but since Han hadn't figured out until ten minutes ago, when the second freighter took off, that Leia would be going out on the third, he'd had no opportunity to complain. He just hoped this wouldn't go as badly as many Rebel missions over the years.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear Chewie growling behind him until the smack on his head came. It was softer than the usual Wookiee smack, for sure, but still hard enough to sting.

"Ow. What?"

**The Princess looked very sad this morning** Chewie growled.

"Yeah, well—" Han nodded.

**You must have been a grave disappointment to her last night, Solo** Chewie finished, laughing at his friend.

"The kreffin' hell I was, you big oaf." Han knew that Chewie, with his heightened Wookiee senses, always knew what was happening on the Falcon, so although he'd have to figure out, someday, a delicate way of explaining that to Leia, there was no sense denying to Chewie what had been going on last night. He also knew Chewie was trying to focus him for the battle. Chewie had a point, because Han's mind kept drifting back to Leia's face last night, to the shy blush on her cheeks and her slightly abashed giggle after they'd made love for the first time. He wanted to have a lot more chances to hear that giggle, and to wake up and watch her sleeping peacefully, her warm breath tickling his chest.

Only winning big today would assure that, so Han forced himself back into the present and started doing his usual pre-launch check. He reached into his pocket for his headset, and felt something unfamiliar – a small minidat he knew he hadn't put into that pocket. He pulled it out and lit the screen, seeing Leia's neat Aurabesh handwriting:

My scoundrel—

I've lost many things over the course of this war, but I may be the luckiest woman in the galaxy, because I found you. I want with all my heart to become your wife and partner for as long as we live.

But we both know, maybe more than anyone, that we're never promised a future. So if something should happen to me, promise me this: Find happiness again. Find love. Thrive. Live a life that will echo through your future generations so that on that day, Force willing, we meet again, we can look on each other in eternity and smile at the memory of a lives well spent. And know that I will love you for as long as there are stars.

- Leia

Han coughed to clear the lump that had formed in his throat. As long as there are stars…he didn't think she too remembered the song. It had been playing on the night he'd taken her out on Xionta to celebrate a successful mission, a night that could have been the start of their relationship if Imperials hadn't invaded the club where they were dancing – the first time she'd ever danced with civilians in a club or in fact danced at all outside of a very formal, Alderaanian ball - just as he was about to lean in and kiss her. Then came the mission to Ord Mantell and everything got all kreffed up for a while.

For the first time in his life, Han Solo wished that he too had those crazy Force powers that he couldn't quite deny any longer, just to be able to reach out and make Leia swear that living up to what she asked of him in that note would not be necessary. Or to threaten Luke with death-by-his-own-lightsaber should he fail to keep her safe. Or, most simply, to feel her living presence and know she was okay.

**Solo, snap out of it** Chewie rumbled. **You're embarrassing yourself.**

Han jumped at Chewie's growl. Rubbing his eyes to clear some blurriness, he took a deep breath. He hadn't realized how out of it he'd been.

"Yeah," Han replied. "Let's turn this Empire into a kreffin' pile of kest. Admiral Ackbar, we have permission for launch?"

"Permission granted," crackled Ackbar's voice over the comm. "And may the Force be with us."

"Here's hopin." Han flipped several switches on the comm. "All Red wings, this is Solo. Clearance to depart has been granted. Let's shred 'em. Rogues and the Falcon up first, Lando, you and Yellow Squadron to follow."

"Roger, Falcon," Wedge Antilles replied from his X-wing.

With that, Han engaged the engines and the Falcon shot into space.

LLLLLLLLLLLL

"Roger, Han," Lando said as he watched his old ship blast away. He looked at Nien Numb next to him, tinkering with the controls of the new ship the Alliance had given to Lando. It's former owner, Tev Magyan, had not survived the land battle on Endor, but his ship had. A Corellian battle freighter in the KL-300 class, it was newer than the Falcon, but not quite as fast. Last night, lying in his bunk, Lando had decided to name it "The Bespin Vow."

The name had seemed appropriate for a lot of reasons. First, because it still deeply bothered him that he'd betrayed Han, Leia, and Chewie on Cloud City, no matter how much the Empire had betrayed him too. There would be no more deals with the Empire, ever. Friends came first – that was his unspoken promise to his friends in this battle. And then there was the fact that, as Han had noted, Cloud City had been the first time Lando had gone respectable, and he liked it. He'd enjoyed the responsibility of being a leader and trying to be a good administrator of a city of nearly a million people. The Empire had taken that from him. So far as he knew, the Empire still controlled the city. Once this battle was over, he was going to find a way to talk the Alliance into giving him a squadron to go back there and free the people, with the Bespin Vow leading the way.

"Yellow leader, you heard Solo. Let's show these Imperial bastards who's the new boss in town."

With a punch of the controls, Lando guided the Bespin Vow into space behind the Rogues, the X-Wings and Y-Wings of Yellow Squadron following.

LLLLLLLLLLLLL

Luke nudged Leia's shoulder as she sat tensely next to him, watching the monitor on the shuttle's control panel. They were getting close to the checkpoint.

"There's something I want you to have," Luke said, holding out a metal cylinder.

Leia took a quick glance at it and shook her head. Luke was still pushing her in a direction she wasn't sure she wanted to go. More than that, she worried, a direction that could endanger everyone she cared about.

"No. That's a weapon of a Jedi."

"No," Luke corrected her. "It's not a weapon of a Jedi until a Jedi builds her—"

Leia glared at him.

"—or his – own. Until then it's just another device on your utility belt."

Luke could tell that she was not at all convinced that he did not have ulterior motives. He wasn't altogether convinced of that himself, but last night he'd experienced a sense of overwhelming urgency, almost a command, that he build her a lightsaber. He had a second crystal stored away in case he ever needed to build himself another lightsaber, so he'd gotten immediately to work.

"It's a useful weapon for someone training to be a Jedi," she responded.

"For anyone. Including former smugglers who use it to slice open dead animals in order to save their friend's life."

Leia pressed her lips together. Luke had her there. She took the lightsaber from him, testing its weight in her had. It was surprisingly weightless and comfortable to hold. She was tempted to light it, but didn't really want to have a conversation about it with Cantos, who was watching the siblings curiously.

"Well, I did study and compete in Thraca swordsmanship at school. I was pretty good at it." Worried Luke would read too much into it, she didn't tell him that she would have easily won the Alderaanian championships had her guards allowed the next in line to the throne to battle with armed competitors. "I guess on some level, a sword is a sword."

To Luke's satisfaction, she found a free spot on her utility belt and clipped it on.

"But like a certain former smuggler, I'm going to reach for my blaster firs—"

The freighter shuddered quickly to a halt. They'd arrived at the checkpoint.