Keroro Gunso
Battles, ants, and Megane Megane Megane… de arimasu!
(In other words, this chapter is a lazy filler/ off-topic chapter that serves hardly any purpose, except to point out some interests, background info, and behaviors in characters. But you'll like it anyway. Oh, you will. (glare)...)
Tamama walked into Keroro's room to be greeted by happy socializing. Raido and Keroro sat together with a stack of Gunpla model boxes and Airplane model boxes.
"Oh, hey, Tamama! How's it goin'?" Raido asked. Tamama cocked his head.
"Great… um… where's everyone else? It's hard to imagine that you would be here without Hiki-chan, Raido-san," he replied. Raido shrugged.
"Where do you think she is? She's with Kururu, in the middle of an inventing session. We try not to bother them in the middle of those, y'know?" he asked. Tamama felt a little sick. Ever since he had witnessed Hikiki and Kururu's tender moment the previous two weeks ago, it had always been hard for him to hear that they were alone together in Kururu's lab. Raido lifted his hat slightly; a very small tuft of his light brown hair stuck out. He put his hand to his forehead and a small speck crawled onto his hand.
"Hey, check out Raido's new pet," Keroro grinned. Tamama stepped closer to get a better look at the speck. It was some sort of insect.
"Is that a flea? Because if it is, I don't want to be anywhere near you," Tamama said, backing off a bit. Raido chuckled.
"No, he's not a flea. He's an ant. See?" he asked, holding up the bug for Tamama to see. Tamama gazed at it. It was a small amber-colored ant with cute beady eyes. It was a very adorable creature.
"Aw, now I see!" Tamama smiled. The ant crawled up Raido's arm and onto his head. Raido smiled at it.
"I found him on the way over this morning. He followed Hikiki and me awhile so we decided to keep him. He's a cute little guy," he said, stroking the ant's head gently, making sure not to squish it.
"What's his name?" Tamama asked.
"Hasn't got one yet."
"What about Admiral Geroro?" Keroro asked. Raido sweatdropped.
"You don't name an ant that…" he muttered.
"Well, you could name it after Hikiki. Girls are suckers for guys that-"
"Um, no. While Hikiki agrees that's he's cute, I don't know how many brownie points you get for naming your girlfriend after an insect that is commonly frowned upon as a pest of the Pekoponians. Plus, this ant is a guy." Keroro sweatdropped.
"This is true," he sighed, scratching the back of his head.
The room was quiet as Tamama and Raido thought about names. The only sound was the small clipping noise of Keroro cutting out pieces to his Gunpla model. Tamama observed the ant's color.
"How about Ambercrombie?" he suggested. Raido cocked his head.
"I think you mean Abercrombie," he said. Tamama shook his head, his hat flaps swinging back and forth.
"No, I mean Ambercrombie. Look, he's amber-colored. Therefore: Ambercrombie," he pointed out. Raido looked at the ant and grinned.
"Oh yeah! Nice observation, Tamama! I think I'll keep it! Thanks!" he smiled. Tamama grinned.
"No problem, desu!" he replied.
As Raido and Keroro discussed the new name, Tamama heard faint conversation coming from the hallway. He went over to the door and listened closer. He recognized the voices as Hikiki and Kururu.
"Kururu, no; I just… I can't…" Hikiki said quietly.
"Why? You aren't happy with him," Kururu replied.
"What? What are you talking about?! I'm plenty happy with Raido; how do you have the heart to say something like that?!" Hikiki snapped back in a harsh whisper.
"He… He doesn't love you enough. I think he could do more for you," Kururu stuttered.
"What do you know? You haven't seen him with me!" Hikiki whispered angrily, "Raido doesn't do as much with me here because we know it bothers you! We set aside our relationship to protect you!"
"If you care so much about me…" Kururu started, "…why don't you show it?"
"Kururu, I told you, I'm not having an affair with you, okay?"
"So leave him."
"Don't say that, you dingbat!" Hikiki snapped a little louder.
"Hikiki, wait!" Kururu said quickly. There was a pause. Finally, Kururu sighed.
"Please… please…" he begged quietly. There was another pause.
"I'm sorry, Kururu… but I love him…" Hikiki replied in a whisper.
Tamama stepped away from the door quickly as it opened. Hikiki noticed him.
"Oh! Tamama…" she muttered nervously.
"Hi," Tamama sweatdropped. He mouthed an apology to her. Hikiki nodded very slightly and kissed his forehead forgivingly. Kururu stormed into the room behind her and went to the computer, plopping into the chair next to it as if gravity had suddenly thrown him into it. He nearly tore apart the keyboard as he typed angrily.
"Hey, Kururu," Raido greeted with a friendly smile.
"Don't talk to me," Kururu snarled fiercely. Raido sweatdropped and sat up a little. Tamama looked up at Hikiki. She frowned at Kururu and went over to Raido. He smiled slightly at her.
"Hey, Hiki-" he started. Hikiki dropped to her knees beside him and threw her arms around Raido, giving him a rather affectionate kiss on the lips. Raido pulled away quickly.
"Hikiki, what are you doing?! What about-?" Tamama heard him whisper quietly.
"I don't care; I'm not setting aside our relationship for that jerk anymore," Hikiki whispered back, kissing him again. Raido appeared confused, but he didn't seem shy about kissing her back. Tamama shifted his eyes over at Kururu; he had frozen in mid-type. He peered over his shoulder at the couple. He snapped his attention back at the computer screen; he appeared angrier than before. Although, Kururu wasn't the only one disturbed.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Keroro gagged, "Guys? Hello? Stop it. That doesn't look right. There are children in the room," he said, pointing over at Tamama. The tadpole laughed. He could live with this.
"What? You mean yourself, Gunso-san?" he asked. Keroro's face reddened.
"N-No! I mean you and Ambercrombie! Yo! Raido! Hikiki! Think of Ambercrombie! He's so young! Don't scar him with that mature-ness of yours!" he demanded. Raido and Hikiki separated for a moment.
"Oh, come on, Gunso, you don't think Ambercrombie has a pretty girlfriend of his own? Well, not one as pretty as this one here…" Raido crooned, stroking Hikiki's cheek. She blushed and giggled, kissing him again.
"Okay, I wasn't joking when I told you both to stop it. You're in the Keroro Platoon's headquarters, and as the leader, I insist that you stop it," Keroro said agitatedly. Raido and Hikiki finally separated and chuckled, rolling their eyes.
"You're wrong, Raido…" Kururu snarled. The four looked over at him.
"Excuse me?" Raido asked. Kururu turned the chair around to face him angrily.
"You said she was pretty… you're understating," he snarled, his face red with fury and embarrassment.
"Ooooh, this is gonna be good!" Keroro grinned, gathering his Gunpla parts and putting them in a pile behind him.
"Kururu, please… don't…" Hikiki warned through gritted teeth. Raido handed Ambercrombie to Keroro and got up, going to Kururu.
"Look, what is your problem? You knew that I liked Hikiki since the day I mentioned her to you. Why haven't you been such a jerk to me until the day we started dating?" he snarled.
"You weren't a threat until then," Kururu frowned.
"Well, glad to see that this is what our friendship is going to be; you showing a real Tamama "Jealousy" freak-out on me and me not willing to slam one back in your face," Raido barked. Kururu got out of chair and shoved Raido.
"Don't you DARE compare me to him!" he snarled. Tamama felt offended by this. Raido frowned and shoved Kururu back.
"Why not?! You guys are both my friends! You should start acting like it!" Raido barked. Kururu shoved Raido again.
"Maybe you AREN'T my friend!" he yelled.
"Kururu!" Hikiki gasped.
"Fine, if you want to be another Gamama, then you can win that over EASY!" Raido screamed, shoving Kururu again.
"Raido! Stop it!" Hikiki yelled. Raido started to turn around and face her but Kururu shoved him over and he fell to the floor. Raido got up angrily shoved Kururu into the wall. It appeared to be more force than intended. Raido clapped his hands over his mouth.
"Kururu! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!!" he started. Kururu frowned and pulled out two large guns.
"Shut up! You don't hit someone intentionally and then apologize, pansy! Let's settle this like men!" he roared. Raido frowned.
"FINE!"
"Ooh! Catfight! Reowr!" Keroro exclaimed. Raido began to charge up his deathblow and Kururu readied his fingers on the triggers to his guns.
"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Hikiki screamed. She got between them both and shoved them both back.
"You stop it!" she yelled at Raido, "You shut up!" she yelled at Kururu.
"Hikiki, I'm through listening to you! Your boyfriend's been asking for this for-" Kururu started rambling. Hikiki abruptly whipped his glasses off and flung them across the room.
"Go fetch," she snarled. Kururu flailed his arms around helplessly, trying to find his glasses and muttering, "Megane, Megane, Megane…"
"Sorry, Hiki-chan. I guess some of us take things a little too seriously…" Raido hissed, glaring at Kururu as he wobbled around the room in search of his glasses. Hikiki shot an angry look at him.
"Well, you weren't exactly helping anything!" she snapped. Raido sweatdropped and went back to his model airplane, taking Ambercrombie back from Keroro.
"Jeez, Hikiki, why'd you have to break that up…?" Keroro asked with disappointment.
"Your intelligence officer doesn't need any more brain damage," Hikiki snorted, crossing her arms coldly. Kururu finally located his glasses and donned them. He glared at Hikiki a moment before turning around and going back to the computer.
Raido twiddled with Ambercrombie's antennae a bit quietly. Hikiki continued to stand with her arms crossed and her face ducked. Kururu typed quietly. Keroro just looked around at the three worriedly. Tamama sighed. The mood in the room was totally contrasted from when he had first come in; it had gone from friendly to spiteful.
Abruptly, the air vent burst open and Giroro and Dororo fell in.
"Hello, everybody!" Dororo smiled sweetly.
"Shut up," Kururu snarled. Dororo's trauma switch was triggered and he walked over to the corner slowly, where he cowered a bit.
"Well, look who's a crab apple already this morning," Giroro commented, "How is everything for the rest of you?"
"Meh…" Raido replied quietly. Hikiki huffed and walked over to Dororo, stroking his head comfortingly. Keroro didn't reply. Tamama rolled his eyes at them.
"Probably crab apples," he replied.
Raido looked over at him.
"What is a crab apple anyway…?" he asked.
"I have no idea. I think it's an apple that tastes like a crab," Tamama shrugged.
"No, idiots, it's an apple that's sour," Kururu spat. Raido frowned.
"Well, I'm sorry we can't all have abnormally high IQs," he hissed.
"Shut up or I'll release the hounds," Kururu said, gesturing at a button on the keyboard. Raido sweatdropped.
"Hounds…? As in… dogs…?" he stuttered. Kururu grinned a roguish grin.
"Aw, are you scared of dogs?" he asked, "That makes me want to press the button even more!" Raido cupped his hands over Ambercrombie and cowered behind a model airplane box.
"Don't…" he murmured. Kururu's smile was smug. He pressed the button.
"Pochito!" he announced. The computer made the sound effect of a dog barking. Raido yelped and hid behind Keroro. Kururu continued to press the button, making Raido freak out even more. Finally, Hikiki stormed up to him, whipped off his glasses again, and hid them up on a high shelf.
"Fetch!" she commanded. Kururu scuttled around the floor, looking for his glasses. Hikiki went over to Raido and gave him a comforting hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Okaaaay, I'm not even going to ask," Keroro said. Hikiki stroked Raido's head as he settled down. Kururu donned another random pair of glasses and glared at him.
"It's no wonder you lost so easily to Gamama," Kururu said. Raido restrained himself from exploding.
"That's none of your business," he snarled.
"Whatever; you're scared of a dog bark and you can't manage to save your friends. Even Dororo can do that. Does that make you overly pathetic?"
"Hey!" Dororo whimpered, his trauma switch returning.
"Leave Dororo out of this, alright? Why do you have to be such a jerk?" Hikiki barked.
"You could've done a better job at picking out boyfriends, Hikiki," Kururu replied quietly, "Ones that don't freak out over a dog and ones that don't beat you." Raido looked abruptly at him.
"I DON'T BEAT HER!" he screamed, "I SWEAR I WON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT COMMENT!" Hikiki put a hand on his shoulder.
"He's not talking about you, he's talking about Gamama…" she said quietly. Raido stared at her.
"I'm… not your first boyfriend… am I?" he asked, growing slightly upset. Hikiki looked at him.
"Well… you are. It's just… I was once looked at in a way that I didn't want to be looked at by my old leader," she said. Raido's eyes widened.
"What did he do to you…?" he asked.
"He tried to rape her, what else?" Kururu replied. Raido frowned.
"I asked Hikiki, not you. I don't care if you found this all out from her diary, I want to hear it from her tongue," he said.
"Whatever."
"Well, Kururu speaks the truth. I didn't want to tell you about it because I knew you'd get upset. After seeing the way Daikiki reacted when he came in to rescue me, I knew you'd take it harder…" Hikiki said quietly.
"Well, where the heck were your other two so-called friends during all this?!" Keroro asked. Hikiki snapped a glare at him.
"My practical brothers were on the other side of the ship, probably having nightmares, dingbat! Don't you EVER call them that again!" she roared.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" Keroro panicked.
"Hikiki… I wanted you to be able to tell me these kinds of things. I tell you everything… it only makes me wonder what kinds of things you DON'T tell me," Raido said quietly, fiddling with Ambercrombie's antennae again. Tamama immediately exchanged a glance with Hikiki, who afterwards glanced at Kururu.
"I'm sure it's nothing too big!" Tamama sweatdropped, "I mean, Hikiki wouldn't dare keep anything too important from you!" Hikiki sweatdropped and glared at him.
"Yeah… because if I were, then Tamama would have made me feel like a horrible person and I'd have to leave the room and cry!" she said through gritted teeth. Tamama took the hint.
"Yeah… I would have to go and beat myself with a hammer…" Tamama said quietly.
"Yeah, but I'm sure he wouldn't have meant it…" Hikiki said calmly. Tamama felt relieved.
"Yeah, so I would've stayed right here…" he smiled. Raido looked back and forth between them.
"What the heck is going on here?!" he asked.
"We're messing with your head, hon, relax," Hikiki said, stroking his head.
"Okay then… getting back to Gamama, how did he approach you with all that?" Keroro asked curiously.
"Well, 'Nozizi'," Hikiki started, "It didn't take long. I was cleaning up the kitchen; he came in and started going on about my duties. He got really quiet after awhile so I assumed he left. Then, before I knew it, he was trying to kiss me. I freaked out and screamed for help before he tried anything else and then Daikiki came in and saved me. However, he got beat up in the process and I was sent into a pretty bad trauma switch afterwards."
"Aw. That's horrible…" Keroro said.
"I know…" Hikiki said. Keroro burst out into sobs.
"That poor Loch Ness Monster! He never had a chance!" he cried. The others stared at him. Hikiki blinked.
"I'm… glad you were paying attention…" she said with a slight frown.
"I'm surprised you weren't even a little bothered by telling us all of that…" Giroro said. Hikiki shrugged.
"It happened over a year ago… I'm over it. I'm in good hands now," she said, taking Raido's hand, "But I do know this, out of all the guys that have ever had a crush on me, that was by far the most disturbing one yet." Kururu stopped typing and looked over at her.
"Wh-What did you just say…?" he asked. Hikiki cocked her head.
"Out of all the guys that have ever had a crush on me, Gamama was by far the most disturbing one yet," she repeated. Kururu stared at her awhile. Tamama knew exactly what was going through his head. So did Keroro.
"So are you saying that Kururu isn't the most disturbing?" he asked. Hikiki looked at him and then at Kururu.
"Yes," she replied, "Kururu's very sweet." Kururu blushed severely and looked back at his computer screen quickly.
"…okay, Hikiki, if you say so…" Giroro blinked. Raido appeared to be bothered by Hikiki's comment, but he hid it from her rather well.
"Hik… Hikiki is very affectionate. She does a good job of making sure we're all happy…" he said. Hikiki smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Raido was a bit happier now. His own remark was well-proven.
"Nothing changes," Kururu said quietly, "We're still not friends." Raido frowned.
"If it's because you think I'm weak…" he started.
"We could always train you!" Keroro smiled. Raido looked over at him.
"Really? You would do that?" he asked.
"But of course! I'm sure Giroro wouldn't object to that, right?" Keroro asked, looking up at Giroro.
"Why would I?" Giroro asked, "Training isn't pointless like Gunpla building." Keroro frowned and hugged his precious Gunpla.
"Bite me," he hissed.
"Never," Giroro shot.
"I'd be glad to get some training," Raido smiled, "Maybe this way I can get my friends back."
"Great, start by coming over at five in the morning tomorrow. We'll hold some target practicing for your deathblow," Keroro said. Raido sweatdropped.
"Yeah… about that…" he said quietly, "I don't really use my deathblow a lot for a reason…"
"Aren't you doing this to prove to Kururu and Hikiki that you aren't a pansy?" Keroro asked.
"I know he's not!" Hikiki snapped.
"Well… I guess so…" Raido replied hesitantly.
"So, what do you have to lose? Five o' clock! Tomorrow morning!" Keroro demanded. Raido smiled a little.
"Alright, I'll be there."