A/N: Hello peoples. Just wanted to give a quick shout out to SRWM. I hope this chapter makes you feel better sweetie ;P.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
As soon as Alice walked out, Edward turned around and headed up to his room. When he entered, his heart shattered at the sight of her broken form. He noticed that her legs had bruises—some were fading others were fresh. Clenching his jaw, he made his way over to her and gently lifted her up. He froze when she shifted and whimpered pushing him away slightly with tiny balled up fists.
When she calmed down he turned and walked to his study with her in his arms. He set her on the soft antique looking cloth covered couch in the corner. He grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and returned to her only to see her clutching the couch pillow in her hands. She had a small pucker in between her eyebrows; like she was concentrating on something really hard. Her red lips were twitching as she mumbled quietly.
She looked so innocent and broken as her body slowly curled into the fetal position. He wanted to scream; he wanted to break something when he saw her wince at the movement. He grabbed a pillow from the other side of the couch and pushed a hand between her knees. Gently lifting her knee up, he put the pillow in between them before spreading the blanket over her.
She jumped up slightly and mumbled something incoherently as she saw his glowing eyes through the blurriness of her sleep deprived mind. She laid back down and cuddled into the couch more; liking the fact that there was something against her back as she slept.
He tucked her in, pushing the edges of the blanket under her until it was cocooned around her like a metaphorical shield.
He paused for a second; his lips hovering inches away from her skin. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips against her forehead hesitantly. She sighed softly and relaxed into the couch even more. He opened his eyes to find a small content smile on her lips. He kissed the cut on her cheekbone—not even daring to kiss the one that slashed through the corner of her bottom lip no matter how much he wanted to.
He stood up and walked to his room smiling softly at the tingling electricity that he felt coursing through his lips. Pulling the sheets and pillows off of his bed he was relieved to see that she hadn't bled a lot. There was only a small patch of drying blood where she had slept. He put the sheets and pillow cases in the laundry basket in the bathroom before returning to the linen closet to grab fresh deep burgundy sheets and pillow cases.
After he finished making his bed he returned to his study. He turned down the temperature and felt the air begin to chill even more as the air conditioner began to silently blast into his office.
Alice did say that Bella liked the cold.
Even though he was tired; he didn't want to go to sleep. He grabbed a book from his extensive collection. He didn't pay attention to the title. He pulled one of the small chairs from its place by the fireplace and set it so that he would be sitting right by Bella's head. He pulled the leather footrest up along the side of the couch so that he could put his feet up. He sat and opened his book. The musty scent of the aging paper washed over him.
It calmed him. He had always found peace in books. Just like Bella, he loved to get lost in them. But unlike Bella, it was only for the pure joy he got from reading. Bella read so that she could escape from the horrors that plagued her life.
He realized that he hardly knew anything about her. All he knew was that she was an extremely captivating person. She had taken his heart and he knew that it was hers forever. Her beauty was astoundingly ethereal—almost goddess-like when she was sleeping so peacefully.
He grasped the corner of the page of his book and rubbed his index finger and thumb in circles. The paper was rough between his fingers—once a crisp white color—it was now yellowing with the wear of the years.
He stared into space not noticing time passing or the loud ticking of the grandfather clock that sat bracing against the wall opposite him.
Her eyelids fluttered open as she woke from her sleep. She saw him sitting in his chair with a brooding look on his face. She watched with a small smile on her face as he continued to stare at the page between his fingers with rapt attention. Studying him further, she realized that he wasn't even reading the book, merely staring at it as if it held the answers to everything.
"I love that book." She said softly. Her voice startled him. He turned to her with a small smile on his face.
"You know Ivanhoe?" He asked her.
"Yes, it's lovely." She whispered.
"Are you hungry?" he asked. She nodded her head slightly.
He stood and leaned over her before he peeled the sheet from her body and pulled the pillow from between her knees. He wrapped his arms around her fragile body and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his neck. She took in his scent. Calming and masculine it was sun kissed apples, honey, and sugar mixed with something musty and male and just Edward.
She didn't know why but she felt the urge to peak her tongue out to taste him then kiss his neck; feeling the soft skin and how it moved and yielded to her persistence.
But she didn't. She settled for closing her eyes and enjoying the safeness she felt when she was in his arms. She heard the soft tapping of his feet as he made his way down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen and set her down on a stool; making sure she was comfortable before warming up the pancakes and syrup he had made earlier. He poured her a glass of hot chocolate and set it in front of her along with the pancakes and strawberry syrup.
He watched as she ate; it was impossible for him to ignore the small sounds of content that were coming from her. Glancing at the clock, he noted that it was nearing 11 am. When she was finished she asked, "Can I watch TV?"
He raised his eyebrows at her. "You don't have to ask me Bella."
"Oh…sorry." She said.
He tucked his arms underneath her legs lifting her with ease as he said, "We're going to have to talk about this whole 'apologizing' thing." He walked out of the kitchen; pushing the door open with his shoulder.
"What 'apologizing' thing?" she asked; discreetly trying to drink his scent in.
She was so unconscious of the fact that she was apologizing. She was constantly doing it at Volterra; apologizing for things Jacob, Aro, and countless others had claimed she did wrong just so they could see her endure a punishment.
He set her down on the couch carefully before grabbing the remote off of the coffee table. He turned to her then with a serious expression on his face. "Unless you have set me on fire." He punctuated the last four words by shaking his index finger. "Do. Not. Apologize. To me…please."
She giggled and he cracked a smile. He turned on the TV and sat down besides Bella. He looked over to where she was sitting with her legs tucked under her as she played with the cuffs of the large shirt she was wearing. She looked uncomfortable as if she didn't know how she should watch TV around him. With a sigh he reached over and grabbed her wrist lightly and tugged her over to where he was sitting. He wrapped his arm around and slowly but surely, she curled up into his side. "What would you like to watch?"
"What's on?" she asked.
He flipped through the channels, quickly listing off titles of shows and movies. "SpongeBob, Family Guy, NCIS, True Blood, The Universe." She immediately perked up at hearing that.
"The Universe?" she asked.
He smiled. "Sure." They watched a marathon of scientists explaining things that varied from the big bang theory to the importance of the moon. He had had to take her to the bathroom once and then give her the painkillers.
He watched her carefully. He had already seen all of the episodes but she didn't.
He noticed that there was once again a small pucker between her eyebrows as she absorbed all of the information. He also noticed that when a certain piece of information was incorrect she scoffed quietly and shook her head.
She was an enigma to him. He wanted to understand her. Again, he found himself wishing that he could look into her mind; peer into her thoughts and memories so that he would know what went on in her head.
It was nearing twilight; the cold moon rising as the sun sank beneath the horizon. Edward was in the kitchen making dinner for Alice and Bella.
Thunder crashed loudly outside. The torrential downpour of the freezing droplets of water as they crashed against the French windows on the wall adjacent to Bella made the room seem smaller. Edward had dimmed the lights to create a warmer feeling; all that lit the living room was a single lamp. Lightning flashed; signaling the impending thunderous boom that would decimate the silence as Bella slept soundly.
Edward's cell phone vibrated softly in the pocket of his flannel pajama pants. Alice had sent him a text message.
~I'll be there in ten…she told him.
~Doors open, just come in. B is sleeping…he replied.
He didn't want his sister to wake Bella. She had barely made a noise to signal that she was having a nightmare. She slept soundly. Her quiet breathing made his heart warm. He found it strange that the fact that she was breathing was important to him.
He had realized—over the course of the day—that Bella had the ability to make anyone fall in love with her. When the memories of her past weren't suffocating her, she was carefree and happy. She was just like any other teenager. But he knew that she wasn't a normal teenager. She had secrets and memories that she would never speak about. There were things about her that Edward knew he would never know about. She had only closed herself off into a memory once that day.
Edward had been rubbing her shoulders; trying to ease the tension they held. When his fingers ventured up the back of her neck; he felt her fear rattle through his bones like the aftershocks of an earthquake. When he had asked her what was wrong, she shook her head and clenched her eyes shut. A single tear slipped down her cheek.
He wiped it away and pulled her to his own body. She pulled back from him. He feared that she was going to push him away instead she said, "H-He used to touch me here." She ran her index finger along her collarbone stopping at the little hollow beneath her neck. "T-Then he w-would-" she broke down sobbing then.
He knew what she was going to say so he didn't push it any further. Instead he held her and rocked her back and forth. He kept whispering, "I won't hurt you." He said it over and over and over again. He wanted her to believe him. He wanted her to trust him. Eventually, the exhaustion took over and she fell asleep in his arms. He had left her there, pushing a pillow between her knees and covering her with the knitted afghan that had been folded over the back of the couch.
As he finished making the stuffing for the chicken, he heard the front door click open followed by the swishing of an umbrella as water was shaken out of it.
Alice.
Alice loved to walk around Seattle when it was raining. It was just another one of her quirks. She would disappear for hours touring the city of her birth. The tall buildings were mysterious monstrosities in the large metropolis that she considered her playground. Most people never understood how something as simple as the sidewalks could be so interesting.
But Edward understood. He was her twin. He knew that she enjoyed the artistic shapes of the buildings. He knew that she enjoyed simplicity. He was the same. The need for money and nice things was not there. The smallest things were wondrous to them.
After Alice shook all of the rain water from her umbrella, she walked to the couch and kissed Bella's hair. She had left her yellow galoshes and her polka dotted umbrella beneath the awning on the front porch. The bottoms of her rainbow striped toe socks slid along the hardwood floors as she skated to the kitchen. She was indeed a very strange girl.
She jumped on top of the counter and swung her feel like a child. "Need help?" she asked Edward as she grabbed a baby carrot from the cutting board. She put it in her mouth and chewed loudly. She knew that the swishing noise it made annoyed Edward. But instead of cringing at the noise he smiled at her antics. He hadn't seen her so happy in a long time.
"Can you season the chicken?" he asked her with a crooked grin.
She narrowed her eyes at him and crinkled her nose. "I'll be in the living room with Bella." She hated touching raw chicken. It was slimy and it smelled weird. Well, that was what she had told him.
She jumped off of the counter. The pot of boiling water—for the mashed potatoes—rattled loudly on the stove top as the vibrations from Alice's landing shook through the kitchen.
Edward shook his head and smiled as he heard her giggle; skipping her way to the living room. He continued to work silently. He loved cooking for his sister. He loved the fact that for those few precious moments she was her old self again as she helped him.
She sat down beside Bella; gently laying her head on her shoulder. Bella sat with her back against the armrest of the couch, leaning her head on the cushions that padded the back of the couch. Alice turned on the TV and put the volume on low as she flipped through the channel. She paused at Tom and Jerry and watched for a few minutes.
Bella began to stir. Alice had her forehead leaning against Bella's slightly so when she woke, her eyes met ocean blue ones filled with an unnatural amount of cheer.
"EEEP!" Alice squealed. "You're awake!"
"And you're short. Thank you for stating the obvious Alice." Bella chuckled and rolled her neck around until a small crack was heard.
Edward ran into the room then. "What's wrong?" he asked with a confused yet concerned expression on his face. "I heard screaming."
"Nothing." Alice chirped. "Is dinner ready yet? I'm hungry."
Edward smiled and shook his head at her. "Yes it's ready."
"Yay food!" Alice yelled as she jumped up.
Edward picked Bella up, cradling her against his chest as if she was made of thinly blown glass covered in soft silk. That was how she felt to him. She was so breakable in his arms and her skin was warm and soft. An animalistic urge to protect her erupted in him just by holding her.
Alice had placed a cushion on one of the barstools. Edward set Bella down on that stool; carefully making sure that she was comfortable. He served them and waited for their approval. They both moaned graciously as they ate the chicken. He took the satisfied looks on their faces as approval. He gave Bella one of her painkillers after dinner. He moved Bella to the couch; wishing that he could hold her longer.
They watched TV for a while. As it was approaching 11 Alice stated that she had to go home. "I had a U-HAUL truck bring all of Bella's things over. It's just a few boxes. Can you bring them in Edward?" Alice said.
"Sure."
Alice said goodbye, kissing both of them on the cheek before turning around and heading out the door. "Do you want to shower or take a bath whiles I move your stuff in?" Edward asked.
She nodded her head, "A shower please." She said as she raised her arms up, signaling him to lift her up. He picked her up gently. Once again she found comfort against his hard muscled chest as he carried up the stairs to his bathroom. He set her down on the sink before going to his closet and returning with a white t-shirt for her.
He picked her up again and set her down so that she was standing in the shower. He placed a fluffy white towel outside the shower doors handing on the towel rack along with her t-shirt so she wouldn't have to move to get anything. "Call me when you're done, okay?" he asked her sweetly with a small smile on his lips. He enjoyed taking care of her. He wanted her to be comfortable. But he knew that no matter how hard he tried, he could never make up for the two years of torture she suffered.
"Okay." She said. Her voice was still small and unsure of him. He could still sense that she had doubts about him…doubts he wanted to push away forever. He grinned at her crookedly before turning and exiting the bathroom, leaving the door opened slightly.
He walked downstairs and went outside. The U-HAUL truck was hardly necessary. Bella had one box of clothes, and two boxes of books. He noticed that in the front seat of the truck, Alice had left some shopping bags. They were filled with shampoo and conditioner, lotions and makeup along with other things women needed.
Edward made four trips outside before everything was in his house. He began to put her clothes in the empty draws of his wooden chest. He tried to ignore the fact that she had lots of lacy bras and underwear but he couldn't. He was only 19. He had no control of his body or of his reactions.
He set all of her feminine hygiene products on top of the dresser. He would find a place for them later. He had put her boxes of books in his study. He would put them in the bookshelves or if she wanted he would get a bookshelf specifically for her books.
He heard her call for him. He pushed the bathroom door open and was immediately drowning in the scent of the steamy air, his body wash, and her natural scent. She was standing in the shower. Her hair was curly and wild. He could tell that she attempted to towel dry it. But because it was so long, it didn't work out too well. Just seeing her in his t-shirt made him feel a familiar tingling in the pit of his stomach.
It wasn't his arousal. It was the fact that she was wearing something that was his. It was like he had marked her and she belonged to him. He shook his head at his thoughts. He knew that she would never be his.
She smiled at him as he picked her up. He walked to his room and stood looking at his bed and at his bedroom door. "Do you want to sleep or stay up a little longer?" he asked her.
"I want to sleep." She said with a smile.
He set her on the bed and pulled the sheets over her. "Alice…um…she…got you some…um…things."
She raised her eyebrows at him.
"She got you some shampoo, some conditioner, some-tampons-and-menstrual-pads, some lotion…" he worked in the middle part quickly. It was embarrassing for him to talk about it with her.
He looked up at her—he had been looking about the room at anything other than her. She had a sad look on her face. "I don't need them." She whispered quietly.
"What the lotion? Are you sure? I mean dry skin can be very irritating…" he trailed off when he saw her shaking her head.
"The tampons and the pads. I don't need them." She clarified.
"What? Why not?" he was confused.
"I-I don't get my period…I can't have kids either." She whispered. A single tear slipped down her face. He felt useless all of the sudden. He didn't know if she wanted him to hold her or leave. She looked up at him with her sad brown eyes willing him to hold her.
He pulled her into his arms and rocked her back and forth for a few minutes.
"We can take you to a doctor so we can get the exact diagnosis…just…how did this happen?" he asked her as he pulled back slightly to caress her face.
"A-Aro said t-that he broke me."
"What do you mean?" Edward's brow furrowed.
"H-He gives me shots like every three months. He told me that I can never have kids because of the medicine."
"Oh Bella." He sighed with relief. "Do you know what the medication was called?"
"Um…I'm not sure…" she said.
"Well after he would give it to you, would anything be different about your health?"
"My arm would hurt a lot—where he put the needle…and um…I'd get headaches a lot."
"If I name the medicine he gave you, do you think you would be able to recognize it?" She nodded her head. "Was it Depo-Provera?" he asked her in a hopeful voice.
She nodded her head, he smiled at her widely. That confused her. "You're okay Bella. Depo-Provera is a contraceptive."
Surprise flooded her features. It was quickly followed by relief and gratefulness. "Can you tell me when the last time he gave it to you was?" Edward asked.
"Maybe two months ago." She whispered.
"Well, next month, you don't have to get it. In a year or so you'll be able to have kids…though I doubt you'd want to…you know…if you want to go to school and stuff…but it's okay…you know…to have kids and go to school…but it's hard…actually I wouldn't know but-" Bella cut off his nervous rambling.
"I know what you mean Edward." She laughed lightly. He loved the sound of it. She laid down and he stroked her forehead softly.
"Goodnight Bella." He said as he started to walk away from him.
"No wait." She called to him. He looked back at her confusedly. "Where are you going to sleep?" she asked him.
"The couch." He said with a smile.
"Can you…um…can you stay here with me?" she whispered and looked up at him through her lashes shyly.
His jaw hung slightly as he stared at her in shock. He was pretty sure he drooled but he wasn't about to check. "Er, okay." He said as he finally snapped out of his daze just as Bella was beginning to fear his rejection.
She had just looked so tempting to him in that second.
He crawled into the bed beside her. They laid facing each other. He suddenly wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to his own body. She gasped at his sudden movement. His fingers were in her hair; pushing it backwards to reveal her neck. "I just want to try something." He murmured as he looked into her brown eyes. They were pulsating with emotions he couldn't place.
He moved his mouth closer to her neck. He was lying on his side with his right hand holding her left shoulder as his left hand was in her hair. She gasped and whimpered as she clenched her eyes shut…waiting. She could feel him getting closer and she tried to squirm away but he held her firmly.
Her entire body was shaking as she waited for him to bite her—hard enough to make her bleed—or begin to choke her. It never happened.
Edward carefully skimmed his lips over her pulse spot. Her skin was soft and warm and she smelled amazing. She let out a shuddering breath as he pressed his lips against her neck more firmly. Goosebumps erupted from her skin and she shivered. The way he pressed his lips against her neck felt good.
"I won't hurt you." He whispered again and again as he placed more kisses on her neck. He pulled away shortly after; when he was sure she trusted him just a little bit more. He placed his head on her pillow. She bit her lips to keep from crying at his sweetness. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled her body to his. He caged her in his own arms; nuzzling her neck. "Goodnight Bella." He whispered.
"Goodnight Edward." She said just as quietly.
A/N: I know I know. This is the longest chapter in this story…it's not exactly a miracle…I've written longer ones well into 5k + words…but it just sucks the life out of you.
Don't get used to it by the way…just saying…maybe…if you're nice and leave a review, I'll see about writing longer chapters.
BTW I can't cook for shit so idk about some of the 'cooking stuff'. I have actually set butter on fire…wait for it…IN THE MICROWAVE.
Yeah…kind of sad…and don't ask me how I did it 'cause I have no freaking clue.
Major drama coming up my peeps…don't ask what it is…I won't tell you.
Please review.