REQUEST: Shady Lady requested a chapter where Hogwarts tries to find out who Hermione is dating

Episode 10

Who's She Dating?

Summary: In which Hogwarts tries to discover who Hermione is dating

The school was in a tizzy. Hermione Granger, one-fifth of the Marauders and one-third of the school's biggest bookworms, was dating! This wouldn't be such a big deal if she hadn't turned down every boy who'd asked her out since first year. The lovely prankster had finally given in to her hormones.

She never spoke of her dates, but the way she smiled and spent time bothering with her hair told everyone what happened. Now, if only they knew who she was dating.

The boys of the school wanted to know what her type was, who she'd finally agreed to go out with when she turned them down. The girls were just curious as to who was charming enough to woo Hermione, and where they could possibly find someone like him.

It was imagined that Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter knew, but when asked the boys would just smile and shake their heads. Lily probably had some idea, if she wasn't privy to the information, but just like the Marauders, she wouldn't speak.

Naturally, being a school that couldn't keep secrets, all of Hogwarts had decided to guess who Hermione was dating. Even the professors seemed interested to know, just in case they needed to have a talk with Hermione about falling grades in the distant future of course.

Hermione walked into the Transfiguration classroom, smiling that same bright smile she'd worn since she began dating. Remus stood beside her, the two in deep conversation over something or other. The students put it off to another book or assignment, knowing how obsessed the two – three when Lily was around – could get over such things.

"It's Sirius, isn't it?" one girl shouted loudly, pointing accusingly at Hermione. "Even you couldn't resist his charm!"

Hermione blinked and looked at the girl. She thought the Ravenclaw was talking to someone else, but her finger was pointed right at Hermione. The Gryffindor blinked, utterly confused.

"What?" she asked. "What about Sirius?"

"You're dating him," the girl said smugly, smirking as she crossed her arms. The students looked amazed, shocked they hadn't realized it before. It was so obvious!

Hermione stared at the girl for a moment. She barely knew her, other than having this class with her, and yet the girl accused her of dating Sirius? Was she even accusing her? Hermione shared a look with Remus, utterly baffled. Well, one thing was for sure.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"W-what?" The girl's smugness deflated almost instantly. She stared at Hermione, confused and a tad hurt by the other girl's outburst.

"You honestly think Sirius Black and I are dating!?" Hermione asked incredulously. The other students shifted, feeling a bit embarrassed for believing the girl. Now that they thought about it, it was rather ridiculous. Hermione and Sirius were friends and nothing more.

"Well, I..." the girl trailed off. She plopped down in her seat, blushing profusely. Hermione raised a brow but didn't apologize for obviously embarrassing the girl. She had it coming for saying Hermione and Sirius had more than friendship between them.

"What was all that about?" Remus asked, slipping in beside Hermione. The brunette shrugged and shook her head.

"I have no idea."

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Transfiguration, Hermione soon found, was only the beginning. All day today, people had been randomly popping up with various boys in the school she could be dating. Some guesses made sense, others could if she really thought about it, and some were just ridiculous. Honestly, why in the seven levels of bloody hell would she want to date Malfoy?

"Hey Hermione," said a young Hufflepuff named Elizabeth. Hermione smiled at the small girl, considering her a friend, though not nearly as close as Lily or the Marauders.

"Hi, Liz."

"Um...Hermione?" Elizabeth asked softly, a blush staining her cheeks. Hermione looked at the girl, horror growing in her brown orbs. She had seen that look enough to day to know what was coming. "Are you dating Peter by any chance?"

"Peter? There's a lot of Peters." Hermione knew exactly which boy she meant, of course, but she wasn't about to let her off that easy. She couldn't believe this shy Hufflepuff would actually join the ridiculous guessing game! Why was it so important that everyone know who she was dating anyway?

"Pettigrew," Elizabeth clarified. "Is it Peter Pettigrew?"

Hermione sighed and hung her head. "No, Elizabeth, I'm not dating Peter."

"Oh..." Elizabeth hung her head disappointedly. "I didn't think so."

"Right..." Hermione sighed and leaned back in her chair, eyes rolling skyward. If she heard someone question her about who she was dating one more time, she swore she would scream!

"Is it Robert Duval from Ravenclaw?"

Well, maybe she would scream after class.

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"It's getting ridiculous!" Hermione said sharply, glaring. "All day today people have been asking me who I'm dating, and they're guessing the most unbelievable people! Would you believe someone actually asked if I was dating Snape?"

Remus grimaced as he walked beside her. Indeed, that was hard to believe. Why would anyone think she and Snape would be together?

True, Hermione acted friendlier with him than the other Marauders, but she was still a Marauder. Not to mention a Muggle-born and a Gryffindor. Too many strikes against that relationship already.

"Maybe you should just let everyone know," Remus suggested. Hermione sighed and looked at him with large, brown eyes. Remus felt his breath catch at the sight and smiled. "Come on, I'll be there."

"I know you will," Hermione said dangerously, though her smile took the edge out of her words. She hit his arm playfully, and Remus chuckled. "Race ya!"

"Hey, that's not fair!" Remus shouted after her already disappearing back. He chased after the girl. Thought she could get a head start did she? Well, he'd show her why werewolves weren't creatures to be trifled with! "Get back here, cheater!"

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Silence filled the Great Hall when the doors slammed open. There stood Hermione Granger, hand-in-hand with her boyfriend. Eyes widened and foreheads were slapped, a feeling of stupidity filled the room. How could they not have guessed him?

The other Marauders looked highly amused, as did Lily Evans, by the reactions of the students. Well, they should have known. Who else would Hermione date but Remus Lupin?

END