AN: Co-Written by Engineer4Ever

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Percy Jackson.

Fils de l'Amour: The Lost Hero

Chapter 10: Beware The King's Wrath

"Come on, you mongrels!" Hedge said, batting away a wolf that got too close for comfort to his hindquarters. "Die!"

"Great, out of a cave and into the freezing tundra," Leo said. He used his cannon stick to dissuade the wolf that looked ready to pounce at him. The wolf fell back in a roll but hopped to its feet. "Damn!"

"W-Werewolves," Piper said, shivering. She had barely gotten back into her damp clothes when Jason had picked her up and shot out of the cave like a bat out of hell. Her hypothermia was still afflicting her and while being held by Jason was nice for her, it was hindering his ability to defend the both of them. "Silver can k-kill them."

"Got it!" Leo said, reaching into his tool belt. "Silver, silver, silver...Double damn! Any other ideas?"

"Bash their skulls in!" Hedge said, cracking a wolf across the face and sending it tumbling with a whimper.

"L-Lightning?" Piper looked to the son of Zeus.

Jason shook his head. "I tried already. The snowstorm is blocking anything else from coming."

"Okay, so...Think, Leo, think..." Leo said to himself, firing another golden beam at the wolves. He reached into his belt again and pulled out a glass bottle, chucking it at the wolves' feet. It shattered upon hitting a rock jutting out of the snow and splashed on two of the wolves' forelegs. Leo sent a ball of fire at the rock, the fire spreading upon impact to the two doused wolves. They burst into flames and dropped into rolls in the snow. "Valdez Fact: Gasoline is highly flammable."

"I can't hit 'em if they're on fire!" Hedge was outraged.

"Yeah, well, count yourself lucky because I don't think I can keep it up for long," Leo said. He fired another shot from his cannon stick and threw another glass vial at the wolves.

"Leo's right, we're stuck..." Jason said.

"Th-The spirits," Piper said.

Jason shook his head. "We'd have come all this way for nothing if we can't give them to Aeolus."

"Coach Hedge, it's been an honor pranking you," Leo said, sending another wolf rolling from his cannon stick.

"You've been a thorn in my side since day one, Valdez!" Hedge swung his club and knocked a wolf back.

"J-Jason..." Piper choked on her words. Jason faltered for words himself, wondering how he messed up. Should he have stayed in the cave? No, Lyacon and Naruto needed that space to fight. Just in case worse came to worse, Naruto could've trapped Lyacon and himself in it.

Then there was the sound of whistling and then the sound of tearing squishy cardboard. A gleaming stick was imbedded in the side of a wolf. It howled mournfully before falling into a puddle of shadows, a silver arrow in its wake. The wolves turned to the woods and several more followed the first's fate, falling into shadow puddles as arrows flew from the woods. The wolves ran with their tails between their legs, going back towards the cave.

Hedge huffed and spat at the ground. "Dammit, I didn't get to kill any."

From the foliage two white wolves came out, contrasting with the black monstrosities that had tormented the four. Following them were hunters in white camouflage. One glared after the wolves and looked to three hunters on the left.

"Get them," she said. The other hunters and their white wolves broke into a run after their quarry. Leo had his weapon down, unlike Hedge who was scowling at the girl.

"You're not Nightshade," he said.

"No I'm not," the lead hunter said. She stepped forward and pulled her parka hood down. Wild raven hair spiked out and blew lightly in the cold wind as she looked over the group, a silver tiara gleaming on her forehead. Electric blue eyes looked them over before spotting the shivering Piper. She looked to the others. "Phoebe, take her."

"You'll have to get through us," Leo said, lifting his weapon.

"Easy, Valdez, they're friends...much as I don't like them for scaring off my kills!" Hedge glared at the lead hunter.

"How are you so sure?" Leo asked.

"Because she's my sister," Jason said as he stepped forward. He handed Piper over to the other hunter, Phoebe, before returning his attention to the lead hunter. "Thalia Grace."

"Who told you that name?" Thalia asked, glaring at Jason.

"I know it because it's my name, too," Jason said. He stepped closer, hesitant and cautious. "I'm Jason. Jason Grace."

"Jason?" Thalia's eyes bulged out of her head slightly and she took a wary step forward before scrutinizing his face. "It is you...you have the same scar from trying to eat a stapler when you were two."

"A stapler?" Leo burst into laughter. "Here I thought you got in a fight in grade school or something."

Hedge just nodded as he leaned on his club. "Smart boy. Staples are good for you."

"We need to get to some cover," Thalia said. She looked at her hunters and then back. "I can't stay long, but I...we need to talk.

"There's a cave about half a mile down the way the wolves came," Jason said. He looked to Piper, who was being bundled up and fed something from a bottle. "Piper's brother."

Leo's eyes went wide. "Oh, shit. I just thought of something. We couldn't kill the wolves because we don't have silver."

"And?" Thalia asked, not sounding all that surprised.

"We left him to fight the alpha male," Jason said, coming to the same conclusion.

"Die!"

Naruto braced himself as the hybrid Lyacon leapt at him, forcing back the concern he had for Piper, Jason and Leo. He fell to his back, using his feet to dig into Lyacon's stomach and flipping the lycanthrope over him into the cave. There was an offended squawk from Miu, who hopped back as Lyacon got to his feet. He glared at Naruto, his eyes red as blood.

"I'll enjoy feasting on your flesh," Lyacon said. "Children of Venus always have such tender meat."

Naruto's temper flared and he folded his staves under his arms, crossing his fingers in front of his face. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Ten clones appeared at his side and Lyacon grinned savagely. "They're not illusions...More meat for the grind, my pack will feast for days on your flesh!"

"Not today," Naruto said, one of the duplicates running forward and stabbing with his staves. Lyacon snarled at the offending clone and backhanded it into the cave wall, where it landed face first and dispelled. More clouds of smoke followed, Lyacon ripping through them like tissue paper.

"Solid illusions," Lyacon said. He had a deep snarl on his face. "You must be killed, you're too big a threat to our plans!"

"Not the first time I've heard that," Naruto said. He tossed his staves at the werewolf. Lyacon dodged and smirked at him, the smirk quickly falling into a look of shock as he saw a rapidly approaching foot. "Dynamic Entry!"

The kick landed and Lyacon flew back into the cave wall. Naruto kept up his attack, running forward with his hand back and a sphere of energy forming. He brought the Rasengan up and prepared to drive it into the wolf king's chest, only for the lycanthrope to grab his wrist and divert the attack to the side. The wall exploded and when the dust cleared there was a massive crater, Naruto's hand hovering over it.

"That was impressive." Lyacon had a gleam in his eye, one that unnerved Naruto. He lifted a clawed hand up to slice through Naruto when a shriek had him turning around. Talons clawed into his face and Lyacon roared in pain, tossing Naruto aside as he tried to fend off the eagle that assaulted him. There was a pained cry from the eagle as Lyacon grabbed her neck. He snarled at the struggling bird. "I hate eagles."

"Let go of her!" Lyacon looked back at the blond and caught Naruto's fist as it flew at him. Lyacon tightened his grip around Naruto's fist, cracking filling the air as he slowly crushed the son of Aphrodite's hand. Naruto dropped to a knee with strangled cries.

"I'll let her go if you so wish," Lyacon said. He slammed the bird into the wall and then tossed her at the fire.

"Miu!" Naruto watched with his breath caught in his throat as his friend went through the flames, landing in a roll, possibly dead. His eyes went wild and the marks on his cheeks darkened. "I'll kill you!"

"I doubt that." Lyacon twisted the fist in his grip and caught the other that was sent at his stomach. He lifted Naruto back up with a savage grin, the strange glint was back in his eye. "You are strong, son of Aphrodite, but not strong enough."

"I will make you pay," Naruto said through gritted teeth.

"No. You will submit." Lyacon pushed Naruto's hands back and the feral demigod fell to his knee again. "I am the alpha male, the king of wolves! And you, boy, you..." He leaned forward, his pointed teeth gleaming with spit and blood, which was not his own. "You will join my pack."

Naruto's eyes went wide as the sound of splitting flesh echoed in the cave. The pain he felt was worse than any he had ever before, even more than when Kurama was ripped from him. Naruto couldn't stop the scream that escaped his lips as Lyacon bit down on the space between his shoulder and his neck.

Lyacon pulled back, tearing the flesh off and exposing muscle as he did, ignoring the screaming blond. He released Naruto's fists and stepped back as he reverted to his full human form, pulling the skin from his teeth and chewing what remained in his mouth like it was jerky. He watched with sadistic glee as Naruto writhed and contorted on the ground.

"Yes, it hurts the first time, but what doesn't these days?" Lyacon asked. "First hangover, murderous. First time in bed, not horrible for us males, but for bitches? Oh, it kills them." He chuckled, lost in thought, before returning. "Yes, and let's not forget the first day of birth, that's psychologically scarring and painful I suppose. But nothing, not even the worst death you can imagine, is as horrible as being turned for the first time."

Naruto said nothing, still screaming as his body burned from the inside out.

Lyacon popped the rest of the flesh in his hand into his mouth. "Mm. You know, I'm quite disappointed you're so powerful. Your flesh is divine." He laughed at his own joke. "You'll see what I mean when that 'sister' of yours comes back in the jaws of my wolves. I'll let you have the first bite. Can't have you going after the son of Jupiter, now."

Naruto's skin started to heal and he started to lose consciousness. It was going black in his eyes, overcasting his vision like a cloud would the sun. Though despite this, he not once stopped screaming.

"Now comes the boring part," Lyacon said. He squatted down over Naruto with a grin on his face. "Waiting."

Naruto found himself in front of Kurama, on his hands and knees as chains seemed to appear from the walls. They wrapped around his arms and neck, restraining him. Lyacon's voice echoed in his head but he didn't listen to the words. Instead, he looked at Kurama.

"Kurama, please!" He felt like he was dying. This had to be it, when Kurama would come back. "I need your help!"

The grey kitsune did nothing and Naruto let out an anguished cry as a spike suddenly shot through his stomach. Another shot through either of his biceps and legs, pinning him in a subservient position on his knees. Voices echoed around him.

"Embrace the pack. Embrace the pack. Embrace the pack."

"Never!" Naruto grit his teeth and ignored the pain. He blocked out the voices as best he could. He continued looking at Kurama's sleeping form. "Wake up! You stupid fox!"

"Obey your king."

"Kurama!"

"Serve the great mother." It was a new voice, a deeper one.

"You damn stupid lazy fox!"

"Retrieve Jason Grace."

"I'm your warden!"

"Bring him to me, so that I may revive the great mother."

"And I said WAKE UP!"

Kurama's red eyes snapped open and blood red energy filled the room.

Lyacon stumbled back as his new pack member suddenly burst into orange and gold flames. Black pooled around his navel in a spiral, lines breaking from it to go up his chest and down either of his arms, spirals forming at his shoulders, hips and feet. Two small energy-like horns sprouted from his forehead and the whiskers on Naruto's cheeks turned into three solid black bars.

"What in the Hades?" Lyacon had to shield his face as the energy lashed out and knocked him back into the wall. He growled and got to his feet, glaring as the boy that was to join his pack rolled onto his stomach, revealing a large black spiral on his back, and calmly pushed himself to his feet. Lyacon opened his mouth to speak, but was cowed as Naruto's eyes snapped open.

Blood red orbs a darker shade than his own glared at him, slits acting as pupils. The flame-encased shinobi curled his hands into fists, looking down at them.

"Incomplete," He said to himself. The hands relaxed and he stared at his palm. Two large energy claws sprouted from his shoulders and centered over either hand as the eyes locked back on Lyacon. "More than enough to end you."

Lyacon snarled. "Insolent whelp! You reject my gift? I'll kill you!"

"I already have my own gift," Naruto said. The claws hovering over his hands started to rotate and two basketball-sized orbs of blue energy grew in his palms. "Oodama Tsuin Rasengan!"

He slammed the attack into Lyacon's stomach, plowing him through the mountain. The werewolf idly wondered when the demigod closed the distance between them, but focused on screaming instead as he was driven through countless layers of rock to the other side of the mountain. Breaking through had Lyacon soaring through the air until he broke down several trees. His ribs snapped back into place and he coughed up blood as he healed.

"Resilient," Naruto said as he walked forward calmly. Lyacon got to his feet shakily.

"I'll k-kill you, boy," Lyacon said with a snarl. "I can't die from anything but silver!"

"We'll see about that." More golden claws of energy sprouted from Naruto's back and hovered over his head. Lyacon's eyes widened as each gained a similar orb as the last two, only this time they were the size of small cars. "Try this on for size, tough guy. Chōōdama Rasen Tarengan!"

The claws came down on Lyacon, the werewolf king screaming in agony as what he thought felt like a shot from the Master Bolt encased his whole body. He remained intact, but his spine and ribs were definitely shattered. He was broken, but alive, if barely.

"Huh, and I was sure that was going to kill you." Naruto walked over to Lyacon calmly and looked down at him. Red eyes were wide and gleaming as they looked down into the burning red that the wolf king had, glaring at the demigod with all of his hate. Naruto scratched the back of his head and sighed. "I didn't want to resort to this because of all the nature around us, but you leave me no choice."

Lyacon watched as another duplicate appeared and put his hands over the original's palm. A small black orb started to form and the wolf king felt his eyes widen in horror. Not much scared him, but he knew when he pushed his luck and needed to get the fuck out of dodge. That orb was nothing but bad news and it was the last thing he wanted to touch him.

It was most likely worse than silver.

By the time it was the size of a baseball, the clone had extinguished itself and Lyacon was almost back at to a point where he could run and regroup with his pack. Naruto was watching him and waiting, Lyacon knew what he wanted. The demigod was mocking him, acting as a predator whereas he would be the prey. This would not stand! He was the predator! He was the alpha male! He was the damn king of wolves!

"Get up," Naruto said. His eyes were burning with want.

Lyacon felt a force overcome him and he obeyed the boy against his will. His legs healed and so did his arms. His spine was back to normal. Good. Now he could run!

"You, Lyacon of Arcadia, betrayer of Zeus and king of wolves, are guilty of murder." The demigod's eyes narrowed. "I sentence you to death by combat."

Lyacon wanted to laugh in the boy's face, gloat over his immortality being guaranteed, but he couldn't. As much as he tried, he could not move.

"Any last words?"

Feeling his jaw loosen, Lyacon couldn't resist. "I'll enjoy your sister's corpse when I return."

"If you return." The demigod brought his hand back and threw it forward, the arm extending to cross the distance between them. "Chō Mini Bijudama!"

The orb touched his chest and Lyacon burned. Every molecule in his body exploded. Pain like no other, even more than his first transformation, even more than the last barrage, overcame him. Lyacon realized now that this was what being hit by the Master Bolt felt like.

The world around him went up in a flash of white, and Lyacon knew no more.

Jason stumbled over as the mountain shook, the small group falling to the ground just outside of the cave. Then there was an earth-shattering boom that echoed for miles. He helped Phoebe, despite her accusing glares, and Piper back up to their feet.

"Rockslide!" One of the hunters pointed up. The group hurried back to the cave, rushing in as boulders fell down around them.

"What the hell was that?" Thalia asked. She looked up through the clouds at the sky, a bit nervous.

"Yo, Naruto? You dead?" Leo called into the cave. Jason gave him a light glare and followed, nearly tripping over something. He looked down and his eyes went wide.

"Miu..." Jason crouched down next to the eagle and hesitantly put his hands on her chest. There was a soft, barely noticeable beat. Jason's eyes widened and he looked to the satyr. "Coach Hedge! Help!"

Hedge ran over to Jason's side and winced. "Ouch. Crispy."

"Can you help her?" Jason asked.

"Maybe, I dunno, Grace." Hedge looked her over and then looked at Thalia. "Hey you got any, what'cha call it, petals of er, uh...it's a flower that looks like a used tissue?"

"Lily of the Valley? What, someone having a heart attack?" Thalia asked.

"Just give me the damn flower, buttercup," Hedge said.

Thalia glared at him. "Don't call me buttercup, shortstop."

"Flower! Now!" Hedge demanded impatiently. Thalia looked to Phoebe, who tossed her a bag, and then tossed the bag to the satyr. He ripped the sealable top off, tossing it into the fire before grabbing a small pinch of the plucked flowers. He ground them in his hand and opened the eagle's beak, letting the ground flowers fall into her mouth.

"Grace," he said. Jason and Thalia looked at him, though Thalia more likely glared, and he looked at Jason. "You. Rub her throat with two fingers. Gently."

Jason nodded and did just that. While he did that, Hedge went out of the cave into the woods.

"So, what's with the eagle?" Thalia asked. "You get a pet?"

"She's a friend," Jason said. He rubbed Miu's neck softly. "Very loyal to Piper's brother."

"So it's his pet?"

"I guess so."

"...Why the heck does he have an eagle for a pet?"

"I don't know, Thalia," Jason said, sounding a bit exasperated.

"Watch it, buddy, I'm still your older sister."

"His hot older sister," Leo said.

"Dude." Jason flatly gave Leo a look while Thalia ignored him.

A few minutes later Hedge came back, whittling away at a new set of reed pipes. He blew into one end and a high note came out. He grunted. "It'll have to do. Forgive me if I ruin your eardrums. I've been out of practice for some time."

The next thing Jason heard was a beautiful flute solo. It tugged at his heart and he stole a glance at Piper, who was looking back at him. Jason looked away and looked at Leo, who was staring into the dying fire. Looking around, Phoebe was focusing on Piper's ankle while Thalia was lost in a thousand mile stare. It seemed Hedge had ensnared everyone in his music.

Hedge finished when Miu suddenly shot up from under Jason's hand, back on her feet and looking around. The satyr snorted and scowled. "So off key. My momma goat would tan my hide if she heard that."

"Coach Hedge," Piper said. "That was beautiful."

"You got corn in your ears, McLean. That was crap. It took three minutes to bring the bird back," Hedge said, tossing the reeds into the fire. "That's why I don't play instruments. I'm no good at it."

"I don't want to imagine what you think good music sounds like," Leo said, turning his head away and rubbing his eyes. Jason rubbed his cheek and blinked at the dampness of it.

Miu shrieked and looked around before her golden eyes landed on Jason expectantly. Jason looked back at her and shrugged. "I don't know where he is."

Miu gave a cry before going to the back of the cave, flying back with two items in her talons.

"That's Naruto's walking stick," Leo said.

"So where's Naruto?" Jason asked.

"You can find him later," Thalia said. "Listen, I don't have a lot of time. I need to get back to my hunters and return to my hunt. We need to talk."

Jason looked to his sister and nodded, letting her lead him away so they could have a private conversation...plus Leo. Jason needed the support.

The water dripped nearby and Naruto woke up sore. He blinked his eyes and looked at the ceiling of his dank and dreary mindscape. He sat up and looked around. Sewer, check. Pipes lining the walls, check. Images of memories, check.

"Well, it's about time."

Naruto let a smile cross his face as he turned around. Giant orange-furred hate-demon-fox-monster-turned-close-friend? Check.

"I should say the same thing," he said. He held his fist out to the orange kitsune. "It's nice to have you back, Kurama."

"It's good to be back, Naruto," Kurama said, letting a smile cross his face as his massive fist pressed lightly against Naruto's. He laid down on his hand-like paws and watched Naruto patiently. "So...Care to tell me what in the name of The Rikudou is going on?"

So Naruto told him.

About the world beyond the Elemental Nations. The land of America, filled with humans more than nature, something Kurama snorted disdainfully at. The camp of heroes, which again, Kurama snorted at.

"Children of gods," Kurama said, huffing. "I'm the son of the Six Path Sage, the God of Shinobi, you don't see me going to a summer camp."

"Kurama, there's only nine of you, me and Sasuke," Naruto said dryly. "There's not enough of us for a camp."

"Marshmallows with the Uchiha? Never."

"Oh, come on, lighten up a bit! That was months ago!"

Kurama glared at Naruto flatly. "He trapped us in miniature moons and tried to kill you...Again."

"Water under the bridge," Naruto said, waving it off.

Kurama shook his head. "I will never understand you, Naruto."

Then came the news about his mother.

"I fucking knew it! That redheaded whore was eccentric in her seal, chaining me up and piercing my body with spikes. That fucking bitch was the embodiment of love, my antithesis. What I would do to that slut...Er, no offense," Kurama said once his ranting had dwindled down.

Naruto rubbed his forehead. "A lot taken. But thanks for keeping it somewhat PG."

"Still...I can't believe you're the son of the love goddess..." Kurama drifted off and thought about it before smirking. "On second thought, yes. Yes I can. Little peacekeeper, you. Mommy must be so proud."

"Shut up, Kurama!"

And then came the news about his father.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Kurama said dryly. "Let me see if I get this straight. Your mother is the goddess of love."

"Yep."

"She split a mortal aspect of herself off into some woman's womb."

"I guess so."

"She let that body grow up as a Jinchuriki of me."

"Probably wasn't part of the plan."

"Never is. Then later on she married your father, who was the son of a strategic war goddess."

"That's right so far."

"And then they had you, the reincarnation of the youngest son of my father, the one that rallied people into standing behind his brother's tyranny."

"Pretty much sums it up."

Kurama stared at Naruto for a long while before laughing. "God, I love being sealed inside you. Never a dull moment!"

"You're taking all this rather well," Naruto said with a grin.

Kurama's laugh died down to a chuckle and he grinned back. "I just had nap for several months and got to watch you obliterate a king with my power. Of course I'm in a good mood."

Naruto smiled. "I'm glad you're back, Kurama. It got lonely."

"I am glad to be back, Naruto." Kurama said, settling down on his paws again. He turned serious. "Now, as to this 'quest' of yours. Your half-sister's father is being held captive and she has until sometime today to lead two other demigods to the captor or her father dies?"

"Yep, but the quest is to save Hera, the queen of the gods," Naruto said. "They can't divert or it will mean the end of the world or something."

Kurama mulled this information over before nodding. "We will rescue the father then."

"Shouldn't I tell the others that I'm okay first?" Naruto asked.

"No, time is of the essence right now. The more time we waste the less time we have to save the human from death," Kurama said. "And I am not back to full power, so you will be without your Biju form."

"The incomplete cloak will be enough." Naruto nodded in assurance. "And if anything else I can fall back on sage mode."

Kurama scowled. "Damn toads...Useful, but damn them."

"C'mon, let it go," Naruto said. "How can you cooperate with others if you don't get over your past transgressions with them?"

Kurama went silent for a moment before he smirked. "That was a big word for you, Naruto."

"Shut up, Kurama!"

They held a stern look before both burst into laughter again. The laughter of two friends echoed in the mindscape. Hundreds of other memories filled the walls, filled with the sounds of Naruto laughing with someone else. When they died down, the memories did as well and a comfortable silence filled the air.

Kurama held his fist out with a smile on his face. "Ready to go show the world what real power looks like?"

Naruto grinned and pushed his fist back against Kurama's. "You know I am."

"Then wake up, Naruto Uzumaki, and show them how strong we are."

Blue eyes shot open and Naruto pushed himself off the dirt-laden ground. He looked around at the giant hole he lay in. Part of the mountain he once resided in was now missing and a good portion of the woods he was once in had been obliterated. The sage pursed his lips at that.

"Grover's going to kill me," Naruto said, his head hanging.

"Not if you don't tell him it was you," Kurama said.

"I'm not going to lie to him," Naruto said. He looked up and walked to the epicenter of the giant crater that now filled the area. Standing in the middle of it, Naruto estimated it was about fifty meters wide.

"Yeah...Grover's going to kill me."

"Enough wallowing over the past. Let's move."

"Right." Naruto nodded and closed his eyes, focusing on Kurama's chakra and let it encase him, going to the incomplete cloak in a second. He looked down at his arms in awe. "I will never get over this."

"Focus, Naruto."

"Sorry," he said. He crouched down and shot up, leaving the crater with a mighty jump. He landed about eighty meters away, groaning. "Okay, I'm just going to run."

"Then run, Naruto! Geez, you always talk to yourself?"

"Shut up, Kurama!" Naruto grumbled as he burst into a run, his arms hanging behind him as he did. Eventually he left the foliage, bursting through to an open plains and shooting through a small town. He ran on the road and passed a giant welcome sign, behind that was a white car with deactivated lights on the hood.

"Holy shit!" The policeman sitting in his car looking at his radar gun exclaimed. The red numbers were rising after the golden blur shot past. Eventually they came to a stop at four hundred and seventy five miles per hour. The policeman choked on his coffee and looked at the donuts sitting on the dash.

They were a day old.

He threw them outside of his car.

"I'm going back to alcohol."

"Do you even know where you're going?"

"West," Naruto said as though it were obvious.

"Okay, new question. Do you know where exactly you're going?"

"Uh..."

"I figured. Stop at the next small town and ask for a map."

"Really?" Naruto asked, arching a brow.

"Yes. I don't know the area. So even if you just glimpse it, I should get a bit of an idea what you're looking at because you're using my chakra. I'll break the image down and apply our location."

"Just one question."

"Go for it."

"Do you understand the language of this land?" Naruto asked aloud in English.

"Fool, you understand it. Your thoughts automatically translate it back to our native tongue and script. So when you look at it, it will translate for me."

Naruto pouted. "No need to be so mean about it."

"You don't seem to be taking this seriously."

"I am so taking this seriously!"

"Naruto...You're an idiot."

"Hey!" Naruto's pout deepened. He thought they were passed that.

"A naked idiot."

Looking down, Naruto felt his cheeks heat up again. Kurama was right, he was naked almost as the day he was born. Thank goodness he still had his boxers on, otherwise that would be awkward.

...No, it's still awkward.

He groaned and Kurama laughed.

"Shut up! Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Are you kidding me? You're the golden streak-er now! Son of the yellow flash-er!" Kurama was having a jolly good time with this if his laughter was anything to go by.

"You know that's not his moniker!"

"Well...not in public but with your mother...she was a kinky thing, I'll give her that."

Naruto tripped and doubled over several times before coming to a halt on his chin. His body bent over his head for a moment before flopping down to the ground. He groaned and got to his feet, dusting himself off. When that was done, the golden demigod glared at his navel.

"I did not want to hear that!"

"I'll bet not, but you have to admit it was funny."

"I should just ask Octopops if he wants to switch biju when I get home!"

"Ha! Now who's being funny? You love me and you know it."

"Like a tumor."

"I love you too, Naruto."

Naruto just grumbled while Kurama chuckled in the back of his head. He continued to run until he got to a small town, stopping in an alleyway. Naruto looked around and as luck would have it, found a door on one of the buildings.

Thinking it may be a department store, Naruto walked in. He was relieved to find so many clothes hanging on racks. They were a bit strange though, not something he thought was regular attire.

"Antony!"

Naruto killed his chakra shroud as someone called a name nearby. No need to have the government after his ass...if he didn't already that is. A mousy looking man walked around the corner of one of the racks before jumping when he saw Naruto.

"Well if Antony is going to be late, you'll have to do," the man said. "Spin around."

"Uh, but I'm..."

"Ah, ah, save the butts for later, please." The man glared at him and put his hands on his hips. "Now spin!"

Naruto spun around and stopped when he was facing the man again.

"A bit shorter than we would like, but well defined...Fine, change out of those ghastly pants. Here, put these on." The man threw Naruto something and Naruto looked at the object. The man tapped his foot. "Well? Come on, you're on in five!"

"You're going to watch me change?" Naruto asked.

"Ugh! Always so shy!" The man said, turning around and crossing his arms. "Happy?"

Naruto shook his head and changed as the man requested. When he was done he pulled at the offending clothing. "Are they supposed to be this tight?"

"And a rookie at that! No wonder you're shy!" The man grabbed Naruto by his arm and pulled him through the racks of clothes to the front. "Come on, we're late!"

"Ladies of the fine Cherry Bomb's early morning, we give you the Last Call!" A suave voice said from speakers behind the curtain Naruto was led to stand behind.

"Hey, how's it going. I'm Todd," said a guy that was taller and a bit beefier than Naruto. He had a rugged face like Naruto had seen on the Wall of Fame in his cabin.

"Er, Naruto. Do you know what's going on?"

"We're partying man," Todd said. The curtain parted and a bunch of women stared back at them. There was a song playing over the speaker, Todd and the other guys started to walk oddly out onto the stage that had poles on it.

American Woman~!

"What kind of music is this crap?"

Naruto just shook his head, frozen like a deer in the headlights.

He was in a bar.

He was in a strip bar.

He was in a strip bar dressed like a stripper.

He was in a strip bar dressed like a stripper on ladies night.

"Time to leave!" Naruto said to himself searching for an exit. He saw one to many strange dances for his liking and hopped down from the stage, bolting for the door. A woman snagged him by the back of his too tight leather pants. He gave a surprised squawk as several women, all very attractive in their own way, started to...touch him. They also slipped him some money, which wasn't frowned on, but still...

They touched him.

EVERYWHERE.

"Ah, tha-thank you. Thank you. Have a nice night, bye!" Naruto pulled himself away from the ring of twenty groping utensils, hopped over the bar and bolted out the door.

"...So..."

"I don't want to talk about it." Naruto grumbled as he walked across the street to a clothing store. He was going to break in, change clothes and leave this crazy town. He'll get a map at the next gas station or something.

AN: It's been three days since I updated. I'm feeling generous. By the by, should've mentioned this earlier (I think I might've, but whatever), but Engineer4Ever has made a reading story of this fic. So, just wanted to remind or inform you about that.

REVIEW!