Coiley and Multi watched the train leave, trying to figure out where they were now, and which way to go. It looked like they were in another part of the forest, but they weren't certain. And they certainly didn't have any idea which square they were on now!
"Hello!" a voice called out, suddenly. "Hello!"
"What was that?" Coiley asked.
"Hellooooooo!" the voice called out again. The two Impossibles decided to follow the voice to see who it was, and they ran across a gigantic bug of sorts. It was almost as big as they were!
"Hello," the bug said.
"Uhh, hello there," Multi said, a little uncertainly.
"You two look like very nice people," the bug said. "Two very, very nice people, who wouldn't hurt me, even if I am an insect."
"What kind of insect are you, anyway?" Coiley asked.
"A gnat," the bug said. "Now tell me, what kind of insects do they like where you come from?"
"It really depends on the person," Multi said, shrugging. "My older sister, for example, she hates anything with more than four legs, except for butterflies. She loves butterflies, but she kind of hates everything else."
"Yeah, and then there are those who like all kinds of insects," Coiley said. "We have a friend who studies them in our agency's laboratory."
"Oh, I see," the gnat said.
"Hey, listen, could you tell us where we are?" Coiley asked. "See, we're trying to get to the eighth square, and we're not exactly sure if we're going the right way or not."
"Ahhh," the gnat said. "This forest is the fourth square. But I wouldn't go in there if I were you!"
"Well, we already know what's lurking at the eighth square," Multi said. "And we really need to get to it."
"Thanks for the help," Coiley said, and he and Multi started to go into the forest.
"Don't say I didn't warn you!" the gnat called out.
"We won't!" Multi called back. "Bye!"
And with that, the two Impossibles went into the forest. At the end of the path, they found a sign post. One sign on it read "To Tweedledum's House." Another read "To the Home of Tweedledee." Of course, the sign was pointing in the same direction, which didn't really surprise either Multi, or Coiley.
"I don't find this at all surprising," Coiley said. "What say we find the Tweedles, Multi?"
"Good idea, Coiley," Multi said. "Maybe they can help us find the eighth square."
The two Impossibles then started down on the path that led to the Tweedles' home. At the end of the path there was indeed a house, and what looked like two large, and very fat figures standing in front of it. They were nearly identical, with one being a man, and the other a woman. The woman figure had the word "Dee" written on her collar, while the man figure had the word "Dum" written on his. The boys just stared at them, not knowing what to do, or say.
"If you think we're waxworks, you really ought to pay, you know!" Dum shouted, suddenly. Coiley and Multi jumped back, surprised.
"Waxworks weren't meant to be looked at for nothing!" Dum went on.
"We didn't even know you were alive!" Multi shouted.
"Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, then you should speak to us!" Dee shouted.
"We're sorry," Coiley said.
"Mm hmm," Dum said. "I know what you're thinking about. Well it isn't so. No how!"
"Contrariwise," Dee said, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be, but as it isn't, it ain't."
"That's logic!" both Dee and Dum shouted together.
"Well, what we were thinking was the best way out of the woods," Coiley said. "We've got to get going now. Bye!"
"No, no, no!" Dum shouted. "You've got it all wrong. The first thing you do at a visit, is say how do you do and shake hands!"
"And then state your name and business," Dee said.
"That's manners!" they shouted in unison.
"Oh," Multi said, glancing over and Coiley, who shrugged.
"Well, my name is Coil Man," Coiley said. "And his is Multi Man, and we're on our way to the eighth square."
"Yeah, we really have to be going now," Multi said.
"Oh, but you must stay, and let me entertain you!" Dee shouted. "I would so love to recite some poetry for you boys!"
"Well, could you at least tell us which is the right road out of the forest?" Multi asked. "We're really in a terrible hurry!"
"What shall I recite?" Dee asked.
"I know!" Dum exclaimed. "Old Father William!"
"Oh yes," Dee said. "That is such a delightful poem."
"Really, we'd love to stay and listen but . . . . . ." Coiley said, but the Tweedles weren't listening. Dee stood up, hummed a note, and began to sing.
You are old, Father William, the young man said
And your hair has become very white
Yet you incessantly stand on your head
Do you think at your age it is right
Multi and Coiley just looked at each other, as the Tweedles continued their recitation. Then, they decided to just sneak away, while the Tweedles were reciting. They didn't notice they had lost their audience at all.
The boys continued down the pathway, until something white fluttered down from the sky, and landed right on Coiley's head.
"Hey!" he shouted, pulling it off. "What the heck is this?"
"Looks like some kind of scarf, or a shawl or something," Multi said.
"Bread and butter!" they heard a voice call out. "Bread and butter!"
The two Impossibles looked around for the source of the voice, when they saw the White Queen from the chessboard wandering around, somewhat aimlessly.
"Bread and butter!" she shouted. "Where's my bread and butter?!"
The White Queen continued wandering, until she came across Multi and Coiley.
"Oh thank you!" she shouted, grabbing her shawl. "I'd been looking for that."
"You're welcome," Coiley said.
The White Queen then began fiddling with her shawl, mumbling under her breath, but it seemed she wasn't getting anywhere trying to put it on.
"Do you need any help getting that shawl of yours on straight, your majesty?" Multi asked.
"Oh, yes," the White Queen said. "Would you be a dear and do it for me? It's out of temper, I think. I've pinned it everywhere I could possibly think to pin it, and there's just no pleasing it!"
"You really ought to have a lady-in-waiting," Coiley said.
"What a fine idea," the White Queen said. "Either of you interested? You're not ladies, of course, but one can't be picky, now can one? I'll give you a tuppence a week, and jam every other day."
"Uhh, no thanks, your majesty," Multi said, as he finished pinning the queen's shawl. "We're really in a hurry."
"But it's very good jam," the White Queen said.
"I'm sure it is," Multi continued. "But we're not very hungry right now. See, we have to . . . . ."
"Well, you couldn't have any today even if you wanted it," the White Queen said, standing up. "The rule is jam tomorrow, and jam yesterday. Never, ever jam today."
"That's kind of confusing," Coiley said.
"Well, that's the effect of living backwards," the queen replied. "It makes everyone a bit giddy at first. But there's at least one advantage. The memory works both ways."
"I think ours work only one way," Coiley said. "I mean, we can't remember things before they happen!"
"Poor sort of memory to only work backwards," the queen said. "Now me, I remember things that happened the week before next!"
Multi and Coiley looked at each other strangely. They were about to ask the White Queen what in the world she meant, when she suddenly screamed.
"What's the matter?" Multi asked.
"My finger is bleeding!" the queen wailed, showing her finger to the boys.
"How?" Coiley asked, confused.
"Yeah, I don't see any blood," Multi said. "You haven't stuck your finger on anything."
"Well, not yet," the White Queen said. "But I will!"
"When do you think it'll happen?" Multi asked.
"When I fix my shawl again," the queen said, and she began fiddling with her brooch. "You see, the brooch will come undone directly."
The White Queen played around with her brooch for a few moments, and then showed her index finger to Multi and Coiley, and sure enough, it was bleeding.
"Now you see how things happen here," she said. "How old are you boys?"
"We're both sixteen," Coiley answered.
"I'm just one hundred and one," the queen replied.
"I can't believe that," Multi said.
"You caaaaaaaan't?" the queen replied, slowly, as she sat down on a rock.
"Uhhh, no, we can't," Coiley said, backing away nervously.
"Yeah, uhh . . . ." Multi said, also beginning to back away. "I, uhh, I hope your finger feels better . . . . ."
"Much beeeeeetter," the queen said. "Beeeeehhhhhhh . . . . . ."
All of a sudden, the White Queen transformed into a sheep. Coiley and Multi immediately turned around, and started running in the opposite direction. They had no idea what else to do! They stopped running when they reached a large stone wall. Coiley heard some footsteps from above, so he took a few bounces backward. Multi followed, and turned to look on the wall.
"Hey, it's an egg man!" Coiley shouted.
"Young man," the egg man said, "it is not polite to tell someone they look like a giant egg!"
"Sorry," Coiley said. "I didn't mean to offend you. Who are you?"
"Who am I?" the egg man said. "Why, I'm Humpty Dumpty! Who are you?"
"My name's Coiley, and his is Multi."
"Coiley and Multi . . . . . . hmph! What stupid names!"
"Maybe so," Multi said. "But at least we're smart enough to stay down here on the ground. The wall's kind of narrow, you know."
"Bah!" Humpty Dumpty scoffed. "I don't happen to think so! Even if I did fall off, the king has promised me . . . . ."
"That all of his horses and all of his men would put you back together again, right?" Multi said.
"You've been snooping!" Humpty shouted. "Or else you couldn't have known that!"
"No, I've just read the book," Multi said. "Your story's in a book of nursery rhymes. Yours is my baby brother's favorite."
"Bah," Humpty mumbled. "I can't stay and talk to you. I'm having an un-birthday party today. See the cravat I'm wearing? It was an un-birthday present from the White King and Queen."
"Un-birthday?" Coiley asked. "What's an un-birthday?"
"You remember, Coiley?" Multi asked. "From the Disney version of the movie? You have one birthday every year, but you have three hundred sixty-four un-birthdays, right?"
"Of course!" Humpty shouted, indignantly. "You get three hundred sixty-four days for un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents! Hmph. That's glory for you!"
"What do you mean by glory?" Multi asked.
"I mean there's a nice, knock down argument for ya!" Humpty shouted.
"But that's not what glory means," Coiley said.
"Of course it does!" Humpty shouted. "When I use a word, it means exactly what I choose it to mean! The question is, which is to be bester! Words! They have a temper, some very particularly. Verbs are the proudest. Adjectives, you can do anything with, but not verbs! However, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"
"Uhhh, what does that mean?" Coiley asked.
"What I mean by impenetrability is we've had enough of that subject!" Humpty shouted. "And it would be just as well if one of you would mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you two don't mean to stop here, all the rest of your lives. You understand, boys, when I make a word do a lot of work like that, I always pay it extra!"
And with that, Humpty began to do a soft shoe right there on the top of the wall. Coiley and Multi watched, getting nervous.
"Uhh, Mr. Dumpty, don't you think you oughta come down here on the ground if you're going to dance like that?" Multi asked. "It might be safer."
"Bah!" Humpty shouted. "If I thought that, I'd do that!"
Coiley and Multi were about to convince the giant egg to come down off the wall when it suddenly began to grow dark. The two Impossibles looked up at the sky, and saw a giant black cloud there.
"Looks like rain," Multi said.
"It also looks like that cloud has wings," Coiley said.
"Maybe it's a giant bird," Multi replied, sounding nervous.
A gust of wind blew, and the boys heard a crash of thunder, and saw a flash of lightning. The winged cloud began to get closer toward our heroes, and then, they saw exactly what it was. And it wasn't a bird, or a plane.
"Jabberwocky!" the two Impossibles screamed in perfect unison.
The Jabberwocky gave out a fierce roar, and swooped down, and wound up clipping Humpty with one of it's wings. Humpty lost his balance, and fell of the wall. Unfortunately, Multi and Coiley couldn't worry about him. They were trying to escape the Jabberwocky, but it was practically right on top of them! After seeing it up close, they weren't sure they wanted to fight with it! As they were running, Coiley ran right into a gigantic spiderweb, complete with gigantic spiders.
"Multi, I'm stuck!" he shouted.
"Spiraling spiderwebs!" Multi shouted, as he began pulling at the webbing. "This sure is a sticky situation!"
"Keep trying, Multi!" Coiley shouted, writhing around to get loose. "We've got to get through this web, anyway! Or else the Jabberwocky's gonna get us!"
Multi agreed, and pulled on the webbing harder. It was his, and Coiley's only way out