Friday September 8th

7:00am

Bloody hell. What is Angus doing? Oh right. I forgot my feet were mice.

5 minute later

What time is it? Ugh. Well I'm up now… I might as well get a fresh start…zzzzzzzzzzzzz…

9:00am

WHAT?

How could I have slept so long? I can't see the time!

Maybe I'm going mute. Or is it blind? I don't remember. Oh God! My Alzheimer's is kicking in!

In the loo

I can't breathe through my nose. Come to think of it I do feel a bit dicky. And for all you hamburgerese who are giggling right now, I'm not talking about a boys trouser snake addenda. I'm talking about being sick. Because dicky rhymes with sicky. Geez.

2 minutes later

Maybe if I put muscle rub under my nose the smell will clear out my sinus-watsits.

30 seconds later

Ouchouchouchowwyowow! It burns! Now I can't breathe, and my upper lib is going to fall off. I'll look like I have duck lips, only worse. I'll be the one lip wonder. I tried wiping it off, and it still burns!

2 seconds later

As if it couldn't get any worse, my mascara smudged during the night. The Sex God came to my house last night, so I had to do a quick makeup application. He had thrown cabbages, he said they would most likely not break my window, but still gets my attention, vair romantique, I know, so I could come see him. I snuck downstairs, past the sleeping loons on the couch, and went outside around 2am. We had a humungo bigjungo snogfest. It was fabbity fab.

Anyways, where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes. That's probably the reason I'm sick (Happy? Absolutely no reference to a boy's trouser snake addenda. Now, let's get on with this), and why I have eye make up all over my face(ish).

5 seconds later

AH! BLOODY HELL! BUGGERATION! GOTT! AND HIS CLOSE COMPANION HIMMEL! I got the muscle rub in my eye! Now I'm blind, unable to breathe, and probably deaf.

1 minute later

When you're deaf can you hear yourself, and not anyone else? Or nothing at all? Hm. I'll have to look that up. Oh wait, I can't, because I'm blind!

Bed of sickness

I'll have to get a Seeing Eye dog now. Maybe I should practice wearing sunglasses and beating things with a stick.

30 minutes later

Angus is a terrible Seeing Eye dog.

I fell down the stairs, and now I'm probably going to be all bruised. Then I won't be able to see my Sex God this weekend because I'll be so beaten and battered.

Kitchen, I think

Mutti said, "Georgia, I let you stay home because when I came in to get you this morning, you had a fever. You should be in bed instead of banging around the house."

I said, "Mutti? Is that you?"

"Stop that." And she took my sunglasses off.

I crumbled to the ground, "MY EYES! THEY BURN!"

"Gee, open your eyes."

I slowly opened my eyes. "It's a miracle! I can see! Thank you Baby Jesus!"

She just tutted away.

Well tut on, you tutting machine. I'm just going to go back upstairs and get my beauty rest.

20 minutes later

Gah! Who's in my room?

I opened my eyes to see mutti standing over me.

I said, "I'm sleeping. What do you want?"

Mutti said, "I've just come to check on your before I went to work. By the way, the Sex God called earlier this morning, but I said that you were in bed and that he should call back later. His voice is gorgey porgey, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes, "Goodbye, Mutti."

1:00pm

How long was I asleep? 4 hours? Well at least I'll be extra scrummy yumboes for Robbie tonight! I'm hoping that's why he called. Last night he said something about seeing me tonight, or maybe he meant tomorrow night.

3 minutes later

Isn't tomorrow for yesterday today?

This is something Jas would know.

Damn. She's still at school.

I have a few hours; I could do my hair, and make up. Oh merde. I forgot. I'm still technically a guy. Well, I could choose an appropriate après school outfit, and then get to school by the time they get out. This is a pressing matter, I know mutti will understand.

Behind a bush

3:45pm

It's so hard to see through the bushes, but I'm worried if I look over the bushes then the Hitler Youth will see me.

3:55pm

The Ace Gang still hasn't come out of school, so I'm going to put my hood up, and make my way towards them.

4:05pm

Found the Ace Gang! They were given 40 lashes after school for smiling during prayer.

Park

We decided to take the long way home, in hopes of seeing the lads. Well they want to see the lads; I'm just coming along because the gang isn't really a gang without yours truly.

I decided to finally ask Jas what she thought of the whole Robbie fandango wallapop. "Jas, do you think that saying you'll call someone tomorrow for yesterday is today, or tomorrow?"

Jas said, "I think that it mean-"

But we were bombarded by Rosie and Didgie.

Rosie squeezed Didgie's nose and said, "I think that it's like an 'S'laters' situation. Like when did he say he'd call?"

I was about to respond, but Ellen decided to join in the conversation.

She said, "Well, erm is tomorrow yesterday? Or yesterday today? Or did he, erm, mean you know?"

I said, "That's what I'm wondering."

"Well, do you know?"

"Of course, Ellen, I know."

"Well, I think that you have figured tomorrow and today out now."

But she didn't get my ironic tone.

30 minutes later

When did it get so nippy noodles?

I said, "When did it get so nippy noodles out? It's only the beginning of September…"

Rosie said, "You're mad! It's boiling out."

Jas felt my forehead, "Blimey, you're hot."

Mabs said, "Oo-er. Jas, are you on the turn?"

I backed away from Jas.

Jas said, "No, I'm just saying she feels really warm. Were you not at school today, Gee?"

I said, "Cheers, Jas. Glad to know you notice me."