Thanks for all the love I got for the last chapter! It means so much to me, you are all still enjoying this story.
As some of you may have noticed, I have been struggling to keep up this story and story line. I want to be able to finish it but I also don't want to write something that isn't my best. BUT I will continue this as long as I feel that I am doing my best.
Please let me know what you think of this chapter, like I said, its getting harder for some reason on this story line so I would love to know what your thoughts are.
Chapter 10 – Back in the House
Matt sighed as he smiled down at Gabby, the sun on her skin, smile on her face. She was happy, they were happy. They had finally taken the step forward they had been putting off for a while, finally, decided not to wait any longer with their relationship, wanting to be with each other more than anything. It had been tough getting there, but there they were, standing in the middle of the quiet street, the after smell of coffee on their breaths, staring up at each other.
He wanted to kiss her. God he wanted to kiss her, the way her eyes shone while look up at him, her nose scrunching slightly as her smile grew, waiting for him, daring him, wanting him. She wanted him to kiss her, he wanted to kiss her and so he did.
It was light, gently and loving, he held her close, his arms around her waist, also gentle and loving. As he pulled away, Matt rested his forehead against hers. She sighed, "I never thought we would get to this point Matt, I never thought we would be here together…" Gabby's smile grew wider, her eyes sparkling as he laughed.
"You and me both babe." He leaned down again, his lips touching hers once more, the sound of cars moving passed them suddenly coming into focus, the world around them coming back as they stood there, together. He felt her sigh against him once more, completely happy with how they were.
As suddenly as it had all started, the sun faded and the wind picked up, the sounds around them falling away, leaving them both standing in a deserted street, faded images of where people used to be, empty seats and abandoned cars. Matt didn't even have time to look around, he did have time to question what had happened, he only felt Gabby's nails biting into his back, holding onto him tightly.
"Gabby, what-?" He looked down at her, wondering what had happened, her smile had faded, a look of horror had crossed her face, her nails still digging into his back painfully but he was more concerned about what was happening with her, the terrified look on her face staring back at him.
She did not speak, her mouth opening slightly but words were not needed, the slow, long drip that stained her beautiful white shirt red telling him more than he needed to know.
The drip that continued down her shirt, spreading outwards as it flowed fast. "Gabby?" He held her tightly, not wanting her to fall, not wanting to let her go, he held her tightly. The bloodstain doubling in size, a gasp coming from her lips as her knees buckled underneath her, her body weight falling towards the ground and then she was gone.
Matt stood in the middle of the street, cars moving around him, the sounds of sirens and shouts, shots and screams echoing around him but he stood there, that white shirt in his hands, dried blood staring back at him.
Matt shot up suddenly, finding himself closed off in his own bedroom, his soft, warm doona covering his body, his heart rate pumping rapidly as he realised where he was. He was home, he was safe and the pain in his chest telling him that Gabby was safe too. He had dreamed it all. Dreamed her getting injured the way she had, thankful then that he had taken the brunt of the injury, that she had come away with something as minor as she did, knowing it could have been much worse.
Matt raised his hand over his chest, the pain spreading over his shoulder, he shouldn't have moved as fast as he did when getting up, a sharp hiss slipping from his lips as he tried to relax his body, relax it from the pain it was feeling but also relax it from the fear he had just felt.
"You alright buddy?" Matt turned suddenly to find Kelly standing by the door, no doubt having heard the movements from his bedroom, not realising that he had actually been calling out Gabby's name, crying out for her in his sleep. Kelly moved into the bedroom, his hand outstretched in case he needed any help.
Sighing he dropped his head, bringing his legs slowly up into a crossed position, "Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Must have been a dream…" he shook his head, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I'm alright, really." He waved Kelly off, wanting to play it off, hoping that Kelly would ignore it but he didn't, he moved further into his bedroom, taking a seat on the side of the bed. They shared a look; one that both of them knew better, tell me what is going on.
They both had that look for each other. Knowing each other for a long time meant they could read each other, he could see the affect that the shooting was having on Matt, see how he struggled to work through the emotions he was feeling.
Matt shook his head, rubbing his hand over his chest and shoulder, trying to ease the pain. "It ah…it was just that Gabby was in my position, when all of this…" he motioned towards his chest, "…happened, we were standing the other way and she didn't make it." He hated that feeling, the feeling of being terrified that something had happened or was going to happen.
Kelly reached out, "It's alright Casey. You went through something pretty traumatising, it would shock me if you were 100% all right at this point. You just gotta give it some time. Believe that Gabby is fine ok, that she survived and it alive and is going to make your life a living hell if she knew you were worrying about her still." He raised his eyebrow at Matt, it was true, she would hate knowing that he was still worried about her getting hurt considering she was fine.
Matt nodded, he knew she was fine, he knew that he shouldn't be as worried as he was but he couldn't help it, it could have easily been the other way around, it could have easily been Gabby who had gotten shot in the chest. He shuddered to think about it though.
"Come on man, you've pulled your stitches. Let's get you cleaned up…" He patted Matt's knee, watching as he looked down, the bloodstain on his grey shirt from where he had pulled the stitches, the thrashing and quick motion in sitting up irritating the already painful area. Slowly he rose from his bed, moving towards the bathroom where Kelly had already started pulling out what he needed, both thankful they were trained enough to handle something like this.
They sat in silence for a few moments, Kelly cleaning the blood off Matt's chest, Matt staring at the floor. The dream really had thrown him through a loop, it worried him so much that something was going to happen to Gabby, what if something happens to her while they were on shift and there was nothing he could do about it? What if she got hurt and he wasn't there to help her? What if-
"So you gonna talk to Gabby about it?" Kelly's voice pulled Matt from his thoughts, blinking up at the other man he waited for Kelly to continue, Matt had no idea what he was on about. Kelly just rolled his eyes, "Are you going to tell her you've been having nightmares?"
It was true, Matt had been having nightmares about her getting hurt or him dying ever since coming home, it was now a week since he had come home and every time he closed his eyes, it was the same thing. But Matt looked away; he didn't want Kelly to know what he was thinking, even though he already did. "Look man, she is worried about you. The other day when she was here and you fell asleep, she heard you; I could see the look on her face. She is worried about you."
That caused Matt to sigh, he didn't want Gabby to worry about him, he hated knowing that she was. "Man just talk to her ok. She just wants to know you are doing all right. And I'm pretty sure by the look on her face every time she walks into this apartment; she has been having the same nightmares." Kelly went back to focusing on the broken stitching on Matt's chest, leaving him to fall into his own thoughts about himself and of Gabby.
He didn't want her to worry about him; he didn't want her to be affected the way she clearly was because of what happened. He wished he could help her out but at the same time, he was terrified that he couldn't, terrified he wasn't going to be able to do anything to help her at all.
"Aunt Gabby?" A small voice came from beside Gabby one the couch she had curled up on with her niece, the two of them spending as much time together as possible, it had been a while since they had seen each other in a while and since Gabby was off work they had decided that it would be a nice girls day together.
After getting injured, Gabby had sworn to spend as much time with her family as possible, ever since her mother had died, Gabby promised herself she would be as close to her family as possible.
"Yes baby?" Gabby loved her niece so much, she reminded her so much of herself in Eva, she had been close to the young girl when she was born as well, being young herself when she was born. Eva had grown up, wanting everything to be like her aunt and always wanting to spend time with her.
Eva snuggled closer to her aunt, wanting to be as close to her as possible, she had been terrified when her dad had told her that Gabby was in the hospital, worried that she had been seriously injured. Eva had run to her side the minute she had seen her for the first time since being injured that day.
Eva let go of her father's hand, running straight to Gabby's side as she stood with her back to them. She didn't care that she was talking to the doctor, she didn't care that Gabby was surrounded by her fellow fire fighters, she didn't even care that her arms was sitting in a sling, she wanted to be by her aunt and that was all that there was to it.
Antonio had tried to reach for Eva, not wanting her to run and interrupt but she was strong willed when she wanted to be and he knew how much she loved her aunt. He wanted from the side as Gabby turned at the sound of her name, kneeling down instantly, taking the young girl in her arms, as tightly as she possible could. "Oh baby, I'm alright. I'm ok…" She held her close, feeling the young girl sob against her shoulder.
It never crossed her mind how her family would be affected by her getting shot; she was too concerned about Matt and how he had collapsed in her arms. But kneeling in that hospital waiting room, Eva crying in her arms, it hit her how much she had almost lost today; she would have been leaving her friends and family if it was a more serious that it was.
"Are you going back to work soon?" the young girl looked up at her aunt, Gabby could tell that it was something she had been wanting to ask for a while, holding that question in since first walking into the apartment.
Gabby sighed, "Eva, you know I have to go back to work and you know this didn't happen at work. But I promise you; I will do everything I can to make sure I will be ok. I promise I will be ok." She held Eva closer to her, kissing the top of her head. She hated to know that Eva was so upset about her getting hurt; she just hoped she could settle those worries.
As they sat back and continued to watch the movie they had been so engrossed in Gabby started to think about Matt. She knew what it was like to be worried about someone you care about getting hurt, she just worried about how painful that would become between her and Matt.
She had been having nightmares recently; nightmares of not being able to save Matt or just not being able to stop the bleeding. It scared her, it scared her that she was so terrified of losing him, granted he was probably her best and closest friend but also that he meant so much to her, that if she had lost him, she honestly didn't know what she would do with herself.
Sighing she pulled Eva closer to her, needing to hold her close, needing to know that her niece was close to her.
Gabby smiled as she stood in Matt's kitchen, Kelly by her side as they laughed, waiting for Shay to come over, they were going to spend the day off watching movies and catching up, considering it had been a while since they had all spent time together, Matt and Gabby being off work and then just finding it difficult to find the time where neither were tired or busy.
"You know, Casey will be happy to know you're here, I think he has missed you over the last week." Gabby blushed a little, it was true, Antonio and her dad had kept her so busy over the last week, she hadn't been able to see Matt much at all. They had talked on the phone but not seen each other.
She laughed, a little embarrassed at what Kelly was saying but also kinda glad. She had gone over early in the morning, Matt still asleep, still being affected by the pain killers he was taking, he would wake up later in the morning than he usually would. "I've missed him too…" She blushed again, watching as Kelly smirked back at her but before they could say anything else, Matt cleared his throat.
"Hey Gabs, what are you doing here?" He had woken up to the sounds of her laugher, smiling to himself as he moved down the hallway, the warmth of the indoor heating relaxing him. He watched as she looked up at him, blinking a few times before she smiled.
What the hell was he thinking? Standing there in front of her with his track pants sitting low on his hips, his hair a mess from sleep and his chest bare. Gabby blinked a few times, trying to steady herself, she smiled, "Kelly texted me, thought it would be nice if we all spent some time together…I think he is going to pick up Shay soon…" she glanced over to Kelly who nodded, moving from the kitchen he glanced back at the two of them.
They were so cute; Matt looked like an excited child to see Gabby standing there but the darkened look on Gabby's face was anything but that of a child, they were both so cute that he had to laugh as he left the apartment.
They stood in silence for a few moments, Matt just so happy to know she was there but as Gabby looked back at him, her eyes focussed on his chest. Slowly she took a few steps towards him, no words spoken, Matt knowing that she needed this time to think things through, he had seen that look on her face before; she was trying to make sense of what was happening around her. And in this instance it was the wound on his chest.
Gabby reached out slowly to touch Matt's chest, her hand shaking as she did. She hadn't spoken a word to Matt since noticing the bandage, she hadn't even asked if it was ok with him if she touched his chest but Matt hadn't stopped her and so she kept moving towards him.
It was the first time she had seen the wound, every other time she had seen him he was either covered with the hospital gown or just normal clothing, suddenly seeing it for the first time made it that much more real, the image of where the scar would be, the realisation of exactly how close to his heart the bullet had been, it terrified her.
The skin around the wound was still red and angry, three weeks after it happening but it was healed enough that it was only covered by a small bandage, only just bigger than the size of the bullet hole but enough for Gabby to be focused on it. She swallowed heavily as her fingers barely brushed his skin, not being able to steady her hands at all.
Gently her fingers touched his skin, feeling him shudder under her touch, partly because her fingers were cold and he wasn't expecting it but mostly because she was touching his chest and he would be damned if he said she didn't turn him on. He wanted her; he always had, but this was neither the time nor the place. He waited for her to continue, staring down as she focused solely on his chest.
There was nothing sexual about how she was watching him, how she was touching him, he could see the fear in her eyes, she shake of her hand as she did touch him. Swallowing he placed his hands gently onto her shoulders, "I'm alright…" He never realised how much seeing the wound would have affected her, with one hand he raised her chin to look in her eyes, noticing that tears had formed in her eyes as she looked at him, "I promise you Gabby, I am alright…"
He wanted to kiss her, wanted to pull her close to him and hold her forever, but he didn't want to push her. He watched as her lips parted for a moment, thinking about what she wanted to say, how she was going to say it but instead she sighed, dropping her head, her leaned in towards him, her head resting on his chest, her free arm curling around his back, holding onto him.
"It's alright hun, it's alright…" he was soothing her, he hated the fact that he was so upset that he had to sooth her but she was in his arms and he wasn't letting go. Gently he wrapped his arms around her shoulder, keeping her in place he rocked her gently, feeling her shudder against his chest, she was finally letting go of the emotions she had been holding in, emotions she didn't even realise that she was holding in.
After a moment she pulled away, wiping her tears away, "I'm sorry Matt, I don't know what-"
But he shook his head, resting both his hands on her checks to stop her from moving, "Don't you dare apologise, ok? You have nothing to be sorry for…" Gabby nodded, feeling the warmth from his hands on her cheeks, she placed her free hand against his, smiling up at him.
God she wanted him to kiss her, too terrified to make the first move herself, she hoped that he would understand that look in her eyes, her need for him. And for a moment there it was almost as though he did understand, he was searching her eyes, reading her easily but it only took a moment for him to pull away, taking a half step backwards, his hands slipping from her cheeks to her shoulders once more.
She stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, but Matt reached for her hand, walking her towards the sofa, he motioned for her to sit, before he slipped a t-shirt over his head, sitting beside her, Matt pulled her into his arms, laying down against the couch, his arms around her tightly.
Gabby sighed, thankful for a few reasons that he had put a shirt on, but even more thankful to be in his arms like this. With her head on his chest, they laid in silence for what felt like forever, until Matt spoke. "I've been having nightmares…" Slowly she turned, resting her chin against his chest she waited for him to continue.
Matt brushed his hand against her face, moving the hair from her eyes, gently pushing it behind her ear, "They are always different, sometimes you are in my place when it all happened or I don't reach you in time…" he was brushing his hand over her face again, it was an absentminded action that she would gladly have him do any day of the week.
He almost felt ashamed, like what happened him, to the both, shouldn't have been affecting him past the physical trauma, but there had always been something in the back of his mind, the fear of what could have happened if it was Gabby who was standing on the other side of him.
"I've been having them too…I know Antonio has had to wake me up a few times recently," She looked down, hating seeing the sad face he was showing her.
There was silence between them as they stood there, this was the first honest conversation they had "You know; if you need someone to make sure you are sleeping alright; my door is always open..." Matt pulled a face at Gabby as he smiled down at her.
Gabby laughed, wrapping her arm around him once more; "I'll keep that in mind..." She wanted to take him up on that offer, if only to know that he was there and he was safe but she couldn't say yes, not just yet.
After a moment Matt dropped his smile, seriousness coming over him, he needed her to know, "It would mean the world to me to know that you are ok..." He looked down at her, her smile fading as well, the seriousness of his statement hitting her; it amazed her still that they had both been so close to it being much more of a disaster.
She touched his face gently, feeling him turn into her hand; his eyes close for a moment. "I'm ok Matt, believe me. I am ok..." Dropping her hand, Gabby rested her head against his chest, signing, "You have no idea how glad I am to know you are alright...I don't know what I would do without you." She sighed against him once more, feeling him tighten his grip on her.
Matt wanted to hold her forever; instead he placed a kiss on the top of her head, hoping that was enough for her to understand that he wouldn't know what to do without her either.
They stood their silently for a few moments, happy enough to be in the others arms, not really wanting to ruin it at all but Matt was curious, actually he had been curious for a while now, "When do you go back to work?"
The last time they had spoken about working it was when they were still in the hospital and Matt was just about to get out, the doctor had given him a minimum 8 weeks off work, wanting to make sure his body was back to 100% fit before letting him back to work, but they hadn't spoken about Gabby, it was clear she was more worried about him than herself.
Gabby didn't really want to think about work, after her conversation with Eva and the thought of going back to work without Matt, she mumbled into his chest, "I go back to the doctor Friday next week so I'm hoping not much later after that...it'll be weird without you being there..."
He laughed a little, nodding, "You will be fine without me, the guys miss you and it won't be long until I grace the firehouse with my presence once more." This caused her to laugh against him as well, "You better" was her mumbled reply.
"How is Casey doing?" Shay looked over at Kelly as they waited for the pizza to be ready. As he had gone to her place to pick her up, they had decided to give Matt and Gabby as much time together as possible, knowing that they would both appreciate pizza and a movie to end the night.
Kelly sighed, leaning back in his chair, "I dunno, I physically he is fine but I just don't know if there is something else going on. He isn't sleeping well at all; I've had to wake him up a few times over the last week. But he seems to be coping all right…" he looked over to Shay, knowing that she had spent more time with Gabby than he had over the last few weeks, "How is Dawson going?"
Shay shrugged, "About the same I think. God I couldn't even image what it would be like, having been shot like that. I know that having Casey in her arms like he she's told me has affected her, says that she dreams about him like that almost every night, that she can't save him…"
Shay laid her head on Kelly's shoulder, they had both almost lost their best friends that day almost three weeks ago, it had scared her. There was always the worry of an injury or death while on shift and that was something that was partly accepted, it was the job they did. But knowing that they had been injured while at breakfast, it terrified her.
"They are going to be all right yeah?" She looked up at him, her head still on his shoulder.
Kelly sighed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, placing a kiss on her temple, "Yeah they will, they will."
At least he hoped.
It was close to twenty minutes later that they came through the front door of Matt's apartment, laughing about one thing or another but they both stopped in their tracks as they found Matt and Gabby curled onto the couch together, Matt on his back, Gabby on his chest, sleeping.
Shay sighed and smiled as she saw them; happy they had found each other. Sighing she moved towards the kitchen, still hungry from the smell of pizza, she wanted to eat.
Kelly laughed gently as Shay cracked a joke as they sat in the kitchen, trying to keep quiet but it was clear that they hadn't been as quiet as they thought. "Nice to see you guys waited for us…" They both looked up to see Casey standing in the doorway, his hand resting on his chest, clearly in a little bit of pain.
"Hey man, sorry did we wake you?" Kelly stood slowly, bringing Matt his painkillers and a plate for the pizza, looking over Matt's shoulder, wondering where Gabby was.
Taking the painkiller gladly he swallowed them; "Thanks…Nah it's ok, we need to eat…she's in the bathroom." He moved towards the table, reaching out carefully for the piece of pizza he wanted.
Shay glanced over to Kelly before standing, making her way to find Gabby to make sure she was all right, knowing that thing were a lot harder with one arm in her sling. This left Kelly alone with Matt, "So did you talk to her?"
Matt sighed, Kelly wasn't going to leave it alone until he told him the truth, he could tell. Moving to lean up against the counter, mirroring Kelly's stance he nodded, "Yeah I did. I don't know what scares me the most, the nightmares of her being in my place that day…or that its scaring me so much that she could have been in my place." He shrugged, not wanting to really talk much about it anymore, especially as he heard Gabby and Shay coming back down the hall towards them.
As they turned into the kitchen, Matt glanced back at Kelly before smiling at Gabby, who was now awake, her arm resting by her side, sling in her hands, he reached out for her, their hands clasped together as they sat down, intent on making the best of the evening.
"You're back!?" Cruz jumped from his chair, running over to Gabby's side almost two weeks later; she had been cleared by the doctor to go back to work and so there she was, standing in front of the people that meant the most to her, happy to have her back. Cruz hugged her tightly, laughing as he lifted her off the ground.
Matt clapped behind her, so happy to see her happy, glad that she was going back to work, hoping he wasn't far off. "If you're happy to have me!" She laughed, being placed back on the ground, she turned to Matt, standing by his side. He placed a kiss on her forehead, she was happy to be back at work, she just wanted him to be back at work with her.
"You're gonna be fine…" He whispered in her ear, causing her to look at him. Oh she wanted to kiss him, she was desperate too but since their talk of nightmares and fears, they had both just been happy to spend time together, but oh she wanted to kiss him. "I promise…I'll come and get you after shift? How about some breakfast?" Her smiled widened as he said this.
He had been given the all clear to drive at the same time she had been given the all clear to go back to work, he was taking full advantage of that fact, they had been spending a lot of time outside of the house, but breakfast was something they hadn't done yet, an unwritten rule between them that they didn't go for breakfast, not just yet.
The bells rung the moment she was going to answer, calling Shay and herself away to a call, leaving Matt to watch her go. "Don't worry Tenant, won't be long until you are back here with us, watching out for her…" Hermann, touched his shoulder, seeing Matt watch the ambo pull away, a look of concern come over his face.
Ok guys, please let me know what you think…I really am doing my best to keep this going.