Horace Walpole, Lord Oxford, wrote, "Perhaps those, who, trembling most, maintain a dignity in their fate, are the bravest; resolution on reflection is real courage."

Chapter 10

Courage

A specialist was paged to treat Spencer's eye injuries, and he was in surgery for a long time as the surgeon fought to save his eyes. He had suffered severe corneal abrasions, primarily from his attacker's finger nails tearing through his eyelids. He had hyphemia in both eyes, which was to be expected, considering the cause of the injury, and iridodyalysis.

He also had detached retinas in both eyes, and his eyelids had been sutured

The terrorist had managed to shoot Spencer, the last thing he did on this earth. Spence had gunshot wound to the chest and neck.

Broken ribs from the beatings he endured, and a cracked jaw which was wired and plated.

When Morgan and Prentiss saw him when he came out of surgery, he was unrecognizable. He had shield patches on his eyes, his swollen bruised face held together with butterfly clips. He had dressings on his neck and chest.

Morgan gently touched Spencer's hair, leaned over and spoke to him.

"Hi kiddo. We'll be here when you wake up."

Prentiss stood back and waited. She was finding this difficult. She and Spencer hadn't got off to a very good start when she joined the BAU, and although her ambition had earned her few friends, and she was used to dealing with hostility, Spencer's antagonism bothered her more than usual, and she didn't know why.

She wondered if it was because she felt drawn to him in a way that she had not experienced before. She had thought at first that JJ was more her type, but Spencer's physical beauty and mental agility did more for her than any woman ever had.

She looked at Morgan touching him and felt a pang of jealousy.

She left them alone and waited outside, trying to profile her own confused state.

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Aaron was awake and staring at the ceiling. He had been told that Spencer had survived surgery on his eyes, and there was a fair chance that he would recover his sight.

Only a 'fair' chance.

He had been shot twice by the UnSub, both bullets within millimeters of killing him outright. But then, they always said that. They told him that his own gunshot wound should have killed him, but by some miracle, he'd survived.

He had sutures across the top of his head, and packing in the hole in his chest. Internally, he was ok, apart from bruising and broken ribs. They had screwed the right side of his jaw to the left side and he had been told that talking would probably hurt for a while.

All he wanted now was to see Spencer, but the nurses were getting annoyed at his asking every few minutes. He had decided to only ask when they came in to do his obs, but he hated not knowing.

There was a knock at the door. It was Emily.

She didn't come right in, but stood in the doorway. She looked embarrassed, which Aaron thought was unusual for her, normally so self assured and confident.

"You can come in." Aaron said, trying not to move his mouth and finding it impossible. She smiled in a shaky kind of way, and came and stood by the bed. She indicated the chair, and Aaron nodded.

"What's on your mind, Emily?"

She was surprised to hear him refer to her by her first name, but then, they weren't working, so she guessed that was ok. She could never call him Aaron though! Hotch was difficult enough!

"I wonder if I could talk to you about someone."

Aaron smiled, then stopped smiling. It hurt way too much.

"Reid?"

Emily looked shocked. "Yes! How…."

"Emily, I'm a profiler. I understand your confused feelings. Believe me, I've had a few myself."

She sighed gratefully. "I need this not to become common knowledge, Sir. I would hate Sp…er…Reid to ever find out how I feel. But I thought, as team leader, you ought to be informed."

Aaron nodded. "Thank you, Emily. I am grateful that you decided to let me know." He paused. "How is he?"

"He's out of surgery," she said, "But he was pretty banged up. They don't know yet if they've managed to save his sight, but they did save his eyes." She looked away from the sadness in her boss's eyes, and concentrated on her hands in her lap. "It will take time, I guess, for both of you to get over this."

Aaron thought about that. It would take Spence the rest of his life, if he didn't get his sight back.

Whatever the outcome, Aaron was going to be beside Spence every step of the way.

Emily stood up to leave. "Thank you Sir. I'll call in again later."

"Emily," Aaron called her back. "Would you do something for me?" He reached out and took his mobile from the table by his bed, and held it out to her. "Would you phone Haley's sister, and tell her I won't be able to come for Jack tomorrow. Her number's on the phone."

Emily took the phone from him. "Sure."

"And would you ask Erin Strauss to come by if she can? I need to talk to her about something."

Emily smiled and nodded, and she left.

"Mr. Hotchner!" Overly cheerful nurse. Aaron had worked out that the cheeriness of a nurse is inversely proportional to the concern they felt for the patient. Either this nurse was very concerned, or she had just won the lottery. "Obs time!"

Aaron started to ask about Spencer but she cut him off.

"I've spoke to your surgeon, and he has said if your obs are stable for the next three hours, I can take you to see Dr. Reid." She picked up Aaron's chart and stuck a thermometer in his ear. "That is what you were going to ask, isn't it?"

"You know me so well!" Aaron said in a stiff but happy voice. He smiled broadly. So what if it hurt!

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Strauss had came straight over to see Aaron. He was surprised, but very pleased.

As she left, the nurse came in to do his obs.

"If they are ok this time, I'll take you to see Dr. Reid."

Then obs were fine. The nurse got a wheelchair, and between them they managed to get Aaron in it without too much crying out in pain.

When they arrived at Spencer's door, she knocked and, opened the door. It was the first time she had seen him, and she was surprised that he was so young.

She understood straight away Aaron's concern. The young man had a fragile beauty that you couldn't help but notice.

She wheeled Aaron to the bed, and squeezed his hand.

"I'll leave you two alone, and I'll be back in an hour." She put the call buzzer close to Aaron. "Just call if you need anything."

She closed the blind, and left.

Aaron looked at Spencer, and took his hand in his own.

"Spence, I'm so proud of you." There was so much Aaron wanted to say, but tears welled up in his eyes, and he couldn't speak. So instead, he held Spencer's hand to his lips and kissed his fingertips.

He felt Spencer respond to him.

"Spence, are you awake?"

"Yes." he answered, so softly, quietly.

Aaron held Spencer's hand against his cheek. "I love you so much, Spencey." Spence squeezed Aaron's hand again. "I love you, Aaron."

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Over the next few days, Aaron and Spence spent most of their waking time together. On the forth day, Aaron was able to stand. When the nurse had left them, he stood and leaned over Spencer and kissed his lips. Spencer pus his arms around him and pulled him down. It was wonderful to be so close again. Aaron sat on the bed and lay down next to him. It was good to breathe in his heady scent and feel his warmth. He drew Spencer close, and ran his fingers through his hair. He held a lock of hair against his face and felt its softness on his skin.

It made Aaron's heart skip a beat as he buried his face in Spencer's neck and told him how much he loved him. He kissed Spencer's neck gently and softly

"We'll be out of here soon, Sweets." he whispered. "And we will be in our own bed."

Spencer smiled. "Can't wait!"

When he arrived back in his room that evening, Strauss was waiting for him. She sat patiently while the nurse helped him into his bed. Then she came and sat by his side.

"This is what you need." She said, handing him a folder. "From what I've read, and after informal interviews with the survivors, I think you are probably right."

Aaron opened the folder to the first page, and read:

The FBI Medal of Valor is presented in recognition of an exceptional act of heroism or voluntary risk of personal safety and life, and this act must have occurred in the direct line of duty or within the scope of FBI employment and in the face of criminal adversaries.

Perfect

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END