Hello everyone! Sorry that it took a while to get this chapter done. Had some troubles to decide exactly where to take it at the moment since I will constantly have to always remind myself what is about to come in the future. But just like you can see it turned out little longer than normally so I hope that you are all not too angry with me.

Now, enjoy!

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I am the Hokage!

Chapter 10:

Painful memories

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The world was silent and warm, more comforting than one man remembered it being in a long time. He wanted to enjoy this special moment as he had no desire for the time being to know about the world around him. All he wanted was to continue to just be, enjoying the rare serenity hewas given. Even still, half asleep he knew that it wouldn't last long anyway and he was right. No matter how much he tried to block it out, he could slowly feel his body began to stiffen as his senses started to awaken once again.

He did not want to lose the warmth he was feeling all around him, but the natural need to know his current location was raising its head. He was in no hurry though and concentrated lazily on each new feeling he got, starting from the brightness that came after the darkness. He could hear a quiet groan and figured it left from his own lips, even if it sounded slightly out of place to have come from his vocal cords. He slowly turned around, trying to escape the light that seemed to have suddenly sneaked up on him.

No matter how badly he wanted to continue to sleep or just relax under the blanket he also knew that he had already gone past that point. Slowly he let his other eye open up and then just as slowly he waited for it to focus on his surroundings, taking everything in. If he couldn't drift back into the world of dreams he could at least use his own sweet time to adjust to the world of the living.

The first thing that he realized was how white everything was, and the second thing he realized was that his body felt somehow really weird, more lighter than it normally did and also more relaxed. As he tried to think of the reason for this, memories started to rush toward him and he was sitting up before he could stop himself. The sudden movement made his head dizzy and the whiteness of the room mixed with darker shades as everything spun for a while. Closing his eye didn't really help, but the urge to get up did and also the sudden voice that broke the silence.

"Glad to see you are finally up, Kakashi-san."

It took a few seconds for the silver haired shinobi to find his sight able to focus on the woman's figure near his legs, beside the bed where he was currently laying, but he decided not to push it. He knew her well enough to feel secure while being still half asleep, and probably drugged up too; it was her doing after all.

"Good morning Shizune." Kakashi said politely, earning a smile from the other as their eyes finally met.

He immediately took in the tired look in her dark eyes and how her skin seemed to be a little paler than normal, making her look older than he knew she was. It was weird how she seemed to, at the same time, blend in and standout in the hospital room where Kakashi figured that he was currently in. He had visited the place enough over the years to recognize the white walls, white furniture, and the scent that hung in the air. There was nothing that really stood out, but something still seemed to be off.

Kakashi blinked a few times to get the rest of the dizziness away and then let his eyes rest on Shizune's smiling face.

Why did she look like she was waiting for him to speak, to ask something? He could see it from her eyes and it made Kakashi frown a little. What could it be? Had something happened recently? Probably because he was here once again, although this time he felt no physical pain.

"Kakashi, do you have problems remembering why you are here? Do you remember what happened to you?" Shizune asked calmly, her eyes still not leaving his. It was actually Kakashi who broke the eye contact by lowering his eyes, trying to remember.

The more Kakashi tried to focus, the harder it seemed to be. He remembered something that seemed more like a dream, a very emotional dream. Tsunade had summoned him to see her, to tell him that someone who he had lost so many years ago had come back. Except that,in his dream like memories, he had been led to actually see him, to see that this person was nothing but a hollow shell of the man in the picture that he still cherished. Could it have been real? No, it had to be a dream. He was dead.

"Everything really happened Kakashi." Shizune's voice was still just as calm as earlier, her face almost neutral, but for Kakashi her words held a much stronger meaning, not just because of the volume they were spoken in. They were strong enough to shake his inner world, making a tiny crack in those high walls that he had built to hide his most deepest desires and emotions.

"Then, Minato... He is?..." He could not bring himself to say it, not just yet.

"Yes." It was a simple word but Kakashi knew that he would remember it for a long time now, with the hope that was rising inside of him.

"Kakashi... Minato has gone missing." Suddenly Kakashi understood Shizune's cool calmness perfectly. He would have played his role the same way if he had been in her shoes.

"When?"Kakashi asked, skillfully hiding his own thoughts while keeping his voice just as calm as Shizune's. He could now recall everything from before he passed out, but he knew that he didn't need to say it out loud. Shizune was one of those who had learned to read him well enough over the years if he just let her.

"Yesterday. We have done our best to find him but there is no trace of him. We were seriously considering asking the Inuzuka clan to take over the search soon if you didn't wake up."

That was enough information for the time being that Kakashi needed and he understood it perfectly. While the situation was urgent and probably also chaotic, it was still a very delicate and restricted issue. The less people knew about Minato for now the better.

After quick thinking Kakashisighed and bit his thumb, summoning everyone from his pack to the room and watched how Pakkun jumped on his bed immediately.

"What's up Kakashi? It's rare for you to call all of us these days." The pug asked as it stared at its master's one visible eye. There might or might not have been something else than thattha the animal had wished to say, but at the seriousness in Kakashi's eyebecame obvious, all the dogs seemed to take in their master's mood as their own. The bond between the summons and master was truly remarkable.

Shizune was looking at the dogs with such interest that she didn't immediately notice how Kakashi's gaze turned toward her. It was only when his voice reached her ears that she turned to look at the man that, from the outside, seemed to be completely collected.

"Shizune, do you have something with his scent on it?"

"Yes." She answered immediately and toKakashi's surprise took out one of Minato's special kunais and lowered her hand so that all of the dogs could take a sniff. While doing so,Shizune could feel the unsaid questions hang in the air and decided that now would be just as good a time than any other to lay out the rest of the information. His intense stare was a good example of how sometimes unsaid words could be the most intense ones.

"It seems like you now rememberwhat happened, but I don't blame you for not knowing anything after that. The experiment with you testing your sharingan to see what was going on inside Minato happened four days ago. The effect of that time was that almost all of your chakra had been absorbedand we have been treating you since then. It took a lot longer than any of us could have assumed." Shizune said, and when the dogs had all memorized the smell, she gave the kunai to Kakashi who took it a little hesitantly. She couldn't help but to notice how carefully he was holding the solid weapon, like it was made of glass instead of steel.

"The following days after you collapsed were filled with various tests and the last one ended rather badly as there was a lightning that hit the building at the same time. It was an extraordinary way to find out that it is not only chakra that Minato is able to take in, but also different kinds of other energy sources as well, even that exact lightning."

At those words,Kakashi's eye lifted from the weapon he was holding to look at Shizune. She could only offer him a small smile when she saw his surprise, but when he made no sound,she saw that it was best to continue.

"After that lightning,Tsunade made sure that everyone got into safety, staying inside and using herself as bait. While that happened,Naruto appeared and, against my commands, went inside to find Tsunade. Therest is still a little unclear. It seems that Minato was able to wake up at a critical point and Naruto said that they were even able to talk with each other, even if he was a little unsure if it really was his father."

Even though the idea of Naruto meeting his father made Kakashi's lips turn a little upward, the fact that the blond was not sure if it really was him was a little upsetting for Kakashi. He wished that he had been there to witness it with his own eyes. What he would give to be able to talk again with his sensei.

"It is understandable that Naruto couldn't fully recognize Minato. When that lightning hit the building, those same flames that tried to reach you back then appeared, but this time they were going berserk. They filled the room and surrounded Minato completely, apparently protecting him and hiding him. You should have seen the room where he was in back then. It was as black as the night and there was not a single thing left behind. The walls had also cracked so badly that the room collapsed afterwards." Shizune said,and waited for a few more moments, before continuing when she saw the look on Kakashi's face. The man seemed to be analyzing everything like a supercomputer.

"I remember some of what happened, it was rather chaotic with the flames appearing out of nowhere and reaching out for us. According to Tsunade it was actually only in the first minutes that most of the damage took place, even if it felt like a lot longer time. Everything was over shortly after everyone was evacuated, but we stayed outside for a while just to make sure. When we could no longer see the glow of those flames or feel him, the ANBU members came in to find only Naruto and Tsunade. Minato had vanished."

Kakashi listened to Shizune with his sharpened hearing, and the image of those red and orange colored flames flashed before his eyes, making the hair on the back of his neck rise up.

"How come I didn't wake up at that time?" The question was actually rather pointless as Kakashi was already almost certain of the answer, but he wanted to make sure anyway. He needed to take his mind away from the little piece of jealousy that he felt toward Naruto at the moment; he knew that feeling like this was downright stupid. Minato was Naruto's father afterall.

"We gave you enough sedatives to make even Kyuubi feel sleepy." Shizune's voice was practically covered with sugar, but it was the grin on her lips that actually sent shivers runningthroughKakashi's back. And people kept judging him because he wasn't very keen on getting much medical help from their village's ninjas. Hell, if they would spend even a fracture of time with their own Hokage and her assistant, they would drop all of their criticism. Those two women were demons in disguise.

"I could have helped."

"No. Not this time, Kakashi. Close combat isn't possible with him and he was downright out of control. It was a dangerous situation that made Tsunade decide to use herself as bait. It was fortunate that nothing else happened." Shizune said quickly, dropping the sweetness from her voice and replacing it with seriousness.

"We are not sure what actually triggered him to awaken, but we do believe at the moment that it wasn't the lightning. Tsunade thinks that it was actually Naruto's presence that did it. Or rather, The Nine Tail's."

"The Nine Tail's?"

"Yes."

In a different situation Kakashi would have wanted to ask more, manipulate the questions to get the small hints he knew he could receive when playing his cards right, but right now time was not on his side. He noticed the slight difference in Shizune's stance and saw her eyes shift to glance at one of Kakashi's dogs and he knew that the discussion of that matter was now over. They had more important things to do.

"Before I send my pack out, is there something that I should know about? Something that could work either against us or for us?"Kakashi asked, and as those dark eyes just stared at him quietly he wondered just how deep the roots were running for those secrets that she was not allowed to reveal.

"Just that he is dangerous,Kakashi. I want you to understand and remember it. Tell your dogs to retreat at the second they sense something strange or when they feel tired. At that point they have found him or areatleast near him."

Kakashi nodded and decided that the time for talking was over. As he sent his pack on their way, he lifted the covers and climbed out of the bed.

He would have been blind not to notice Shizune's eyes analyze his body movements and the hint of lustful shine when his muscular legs and arms were partly showing from his white hospital robe that ended just under his knees and above his elbows. The damn thing was annoying and Kakashi wanted to change out of it as soon as possible, even if he would have to do it without privacy.

"Would you hand me my uniform now, please?"

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Sometime later, somewhere else

Everything felt so bizarre,so confusing. Everything had changed. The places that he remembered, the people he had known and even he himself. Nothing was the same and he knew that that was how it was supposed to be.

So many years had gone by already.

He had always been fast to learn new things, to adapt in the current situations so why did it feel so difficult to do this time? Had he really changed so much, become a different person, maybe even more than he himself wanted to admit? That thought actually scared him, making him shiver slightly and fall back into comforting memories.

He could still recall that fierce red color of her hair and the sweet smile that would appear on her face when they were alone in their home. Their own home that he had been preparing and modulating for their unborn child for months before hand. Now the only thing that remained were the fading images that he still carried in his heart.

"I wish you would have let me do it alone, so that you could have continued to live on and be part of our son's life. I miss you Kushina."

Hearing the slight echo of his own voice around himself felt very surreal for Minato. It was a welcome change, just like the fact that he could now actually feel his own body. Every move he made, every step he took felt like they would be his first, but it didn't bother him too much. He knew that it would have been impossible for a body that had gone through as much as his had to actually work properly.

Taking in a deep breath he let his memories work as a guidance for him. Even if those memories were the ones that part of his old self still remembered clearly, he still decided to keep it safe and keep his movements slow. He was slightly glad that he didn't need to worry too much ashe had concentrated to move around in the darkness that surrounded him, feeling the stone walls that surrounded him with his sensitive fingers.

The most meaningful part of his current location was not actually the place itself, but the fact that this time he knew that this darkness was not part of his own dream that was also why he felt the need to talk, even if, once again, there was no one answering back to him.

"It's so ironic that after such a long time my wish actually came true, but can't be fulfilled. I came back to find Naruto, to meet with my son, and yet I couldn't stay next to him for very long. I couldn't even hold him." As the last sentence left his lips hecould hear his own voice slowly fade almost into nothing, and he was a little surprised that his voice hadn't cracked.

After a few moments of complete silence, that was only slightly broken by his own breathing, Minato realized that he was shaking and it was not because of the cold stone floor that he was sitting on. The coldness actually felt good under his burning skin, but he knew that if he wanted to keep it that way he would need to move again very soon. The heat radiating from him seemed to have already raised the air temperature quite a bit and the earthy smell that had been here when he first came was now turning from humid into a much drier one.

He felt no need to stop the tears when he felt them appear on the corners of his eyes, so he just let them begin to fall freely on his lap and onto the ground. Maybe they would ease some of the pain inside his chest.

It was not like him to feel sorry for himself; he knew where those thoughts would lead him. Taking one last deep breath he forced the memories to leave his mind for the time being, refusing to let the true darkness take power over him. He had things to do and the knowledge to make it possible; all he would need was a little would take the time to mourn his losses later.

He had already analyzed everything and made a list of criteria inside of his mind that he needed to learn, change and fullfill. He knew that he would need help later on, but for now he needed to do this alone or otherwise he could jeopardize the very people and the village he had given his life to save. There was no room for errors.

Minato was really thankful that the seals of his jutsu never disappeared, not even after his death. It had saved him from using his body too much when fatigue had taken over, even if using his own chakra had also felt really foreign in the state he was in. At that point, this cave had been the only place that he managed to think of when he realized that he needed to get out of that he knew that no one was nearby, he could test his body and his new powers, without fearing the consequences of the damage that would occur if the little control he had was truly shattered.

He knew that if he ever wanted to be near another human being he needed to control this hunger of his that nothing seemed to satisfy.

"I wonder why I never felt like this before, or how I at least don't remember it." Minato whispered, lowering his hand slowly from his chest to touch his stomach. It felt really weird for him to feel his body in this state as he had always kept good care of it back in the days; now it felt more like he was touching someone else's body.

"It's time to test my limits once more today."

If anyone could have seen how much trouble it took him just to be able to get up from the ground Minato was sure that even he wouldn't help but to feel embarrassed. After leaving from Naruto's side, he had been able to transfer himself here just before collapsing, and even though his body was still screaming from agony, he only gave himself a few hours of rest from time to time.

"I want to stay in this world." It was one of the many thoughts that would not leave his head, continuing to play inside his mind like a mantra.

"I want to live." This time his voice came louder, stronger.

"I want to feel the warmth of the sun against my skin." Raising the volume of his voice even more, he was met with the echo once more, reminding him about his surroundings and the limited space he was currently in.

"I want to hear the morning birds that Kushina loved." He was nearly shouting now, but he didn't care. Instead he could feel his body start to react, responding to his emotions.

With every breath Minato took, and the oxygen he inhaled, he could feel his body gaining more strength.

"I want to see my son." With those words came the serenity he had come to learn to reach for. The fast beating of his heart began to once again calm down, just like his breathing, but the strength he had managed to bring to the surface was not something he wanted to let go yet.

"It seems that, for now, some strong emotions are needed." Minato whispered calmly as he opened his eyes to look into the darkness and behind it, listening to one unfortunate mouse leave its nest just before the darkness began to fade away.

"I am sorry." He whispered to the poor creature as the heat that radiated from his body now changed into flames, creating enough light that the two pairs of eyes could meet before only one was left behind.

Unknown to him, there had actually been another soul just outside the cave that had been much more fortunate.

It had been there only for a very short moment, the timing being perfect for its purpose. The only thing it had needed had been a few seconds to get close enough to take a sniff at the air that was now holding a hint of the person residing inside. After that, it had left just as quietly as it came, leaving the place ecstatically, but also memorizing the details very carefully.

It already knew from experience that the feeling it had gotten from the short visit was not something to take lightly, and it was going to be very strict about being taken seriously. Even if its master was a lazy idiot, the one-eyed jonin was still its master.

"Damn that brat for sending us looking for this man. I would be gone even before I could have made my escape if he had noticed me." Pakkun whispered when he was far enough from the cave, back under the large trees that were still continuing to grow in the forest. It had always liked this place, it was one part of the forest that was hardly touched. The only exception being the manmade cave and its small surroundings.

Even so the pug knew that there was no time to lose. Its target hadn't seemed to notice it but, like it had pointed out earlier, it was still not safe to be around this area. Not only that, but it could sense Kakashi's restlessness even from all the way here. Sometimes the connection between the pack and Kakashi was more energy consuming than Pakkun liked. The good part was that at times like this when they were far away, the dogs could transfer themselves right to the place where their master was, even if they didn't know the exact location beforehand.

With a tired sigh Pakkun transformed itself in the same hospital room where it had left its master and couldn't help but wonder why. Usually Kakashi did everything he could to avoid the hospital, skipping staying there half the times he had been brought there, not caring if he was seriously wounded or not.

"I found him. He is in the cave a few miles away from the city. You know, the place where his wife Kushina gave birth to Naruto."The dog said as it saw Kakashi's head turn toward it, listening carefully while sitting on the neatly made hospital bed. He had been so deep in his thoughts that the dog easily saw and felt him thinking. The jonin was part of him just as all of them were part of Kakashi, feeling each others' emotions kind of came with the rest of the package.

"Of course, I should have guessed. Well done Pakkun." Kakashi said, and even if the pug didn't show it in any way, it was always happy to hear praises from the man.

Pakkun watched how Kakashi got up, Minato's special kunai still in hand. He gave it one final glance before finally putting it away, reaching out to scratch the pug behind its ears afterwards.

"Would you be kind enough to accompany me there, Pakkun?"

"Do I have a choice brat?" Pakkun asked, snorting as it looked upwards to meet with one visible grey eye.

"I guess not. That reminds me. I need to tell Shizune that you found him; she made it very clear to inform her before I leave."

Not wanting to waste time by walking, Kakashi simply transported himself and his questionable loyal companion just outside Tsunade's office door. He greeted the guards with a quick salute as he appeared, startling them enough that a shuriken was thrown at his face. Luckily, he had reflexes that still worked pretty well so he managed to avoid it with a small change of his gravity point.

"Maa maa, let's not be hasty here. I come in peace." Kakashi said quickly with a raised hand, ignoring the insult the canine murmured next to him. Something about being a useless ninja he thought he heard.

"Then don't startle us like that Hatake." One of the guards said as they lowered and put their weapons away, hearing the silver haired man laugh in a fake tone as he scratched his head.

"Gomen Gomen, gotta try to remember next time. Is Shizune here? She told me earlier to come see her."Kakashi said with his usual cheerful tone and watched the other guard knock very gently on the door a few times. It only took a few seconds for the dark haired medic to appear, opening the door only a little at first and slipping out of the room when she saw Kakashi waving at her.

"That was faster than I anticipated Kakashi. You found him already?" The woman asked, lowering her voice by many octaves. When Kakashi gave her a slight nod, a smile appeared on her face.

"That is very good. Is he okay?"

"Yes, he seemed to be. Almost roasted me alive."Pakkun said with a groan, gaining all of the attention for a few moments.

"Hmm… That means that he is still active. You need to be extra careful Kakashi. You remember all of the information that I gave to you?" Shizune asked, tuning her eyes to look at the silver haired man who looked straight back at her and nodded.

"Good. I know how urgent the situation is, so I am sorry that I made you come to see me before you go. I just needed to make sure of one thing." Shizune said, her voice a little gentler than normal, and when Kakashi raised an eye brow at her comment she reached out her hand and placed it on Kakashi's shoulder. To say that Kakashi was surprised was a mild estimate, dumbfounded would have been more accurate.

"I know how nerve wracking this must be for you Kakashi, but there is a reason other than your pack that made me and Tsunade leave this mission entirely to you. You care for the Youndaime more than probably anyone else in the whole village, and according to the information that I have gotten from Tsunade, Minato cares deeply about you. If someone can reach out to him, it's you." Shizune said, and Kakashi could hear the sincere trust in her voice. It actually left him speechless.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I must go back inside and babysit one really tired and drunk Hokage that finally passed out not too long ago. She has barely slept the past weeks." Shizune said with a tired sigh as she turned around and took a hold of the doorknob.

"Come back in one piece Hatake-san." She said teasingly just before entering the room and closing it after her, leaving the famous copy ninja standing in the white hallway with a blank expression on his face.

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A few hours later

For many creatures, small or big, the night meant time for sleep and rest, but for some it was time for hunting. It was the law of nature, had always been, and all those that held the gift of life would need to find their own place in the circle; their own time of awareness.

But even among all those living beings, there could be found those that would defy these unwritten laws, creating their own instead. Humans were the perfect examples of that.

Though those things were not important for one small creature running in the dark forest, jumping over the obstacles on its way and changing directions, while constantly sniffing the air around it. For there was no difference if it was day or night when it was time to hunt. All that mattered were the commands that it got from its master and the need to follow those commands.

The light that came with the sun during the days was helpful, but not necessary for the mission it was given. It already knew where it was going.

"This way." It said quickly before starting to run again.

It had already been hours since any light could reach its eyes as it roamed the forest, so when something flashed red behind the black curtains of trees, it knew that was not nature's doing. It was far too big to be an insect and its color was not right either.

"There he is, behind those trees and inside the cave. Seems like he is doing something again, so I would be very careful if I were you, Kakashi; he probably came here for of a reason." The canine said quietly, and turned its head to look at its master who was standing behind it.

"I know. Don't worry Pakkun, I just need to talk to him a little."

Even if the small dog wasn't fully familiar with the feelings of humans, it still noticed how Kakashi's voice seemed to be a little softer than it normally was. It only confirmed the suspicion thatit had already been thinking about.

"You are afraid to meet him." It was not a question, just a simple statement, but the silver haired ninja still nodded to his companion.

If it wasa human with him right there and then, asking him the same question, Kakashi wouldn't have answered in any way. For a high class shinobi like him, the need to conceal his own emotions wasalways present. When he had been nothing but a small child, he had been told that the more emotionless a true warrior became, the more powerful he became. For many years he had believed those words, respecting the old ways, and he still did in a way, but he no longer let them cage him like an wounded animal.

"What if… What if I have disappointed him?" The question was so quiet that even the ninja dog had trouble hearing his master's voice. It was unclear for it if the words had even been spoken in a way that was looking for an answer, but the loyal creature decided to answer anyway. Maybe it could ease some of the tension that was still holding the copy ninja in this same spot where they had been sitting and watching the mouth of the cave for many minutes.

"Don't be stupid. If that man will question the choices you have made with your life, you have at least confirmed one thing, and that is the fact that he is not Minato Namikaze."

When no words were said after his little speech, the canine knew that it had hit the bull's-eye. A small and content smile appeared on its face for a few moments before it turned its head to look at its master once more.

"It seems that you don't need me anymore Kakashi, so I will take my leave. I will be waiting for a reward later for finding him. It wasn't easy you know, I almost got roasted alive." That said there was a gentle plop and a small amountof smoke that cleared quickly, leaving the spot beside the silent man empty once again.

Kakashi did not blame Pakkun, the dog wasn't stupid and it had probably felt Minato's aura around the area even better than he did. It was faint and gentle, creating a feeling of safety, but Kakashi had been able to see a glimpse of what was under the surface. It was enough to make the hair on the back of his neck rise up.

It was time to confront the memories that had haunted him over half of his life.

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That's it for now guys and girls. Next chapter will be kinda just Minato and Kakashi. It would make me super happy if you would leave a comment afterwards.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!