Chapter Ten

:: Max ::

"You're going to love her."

"I'm locking myself in my slide."

"Max, don't be silly."

"Mom, I know you mean well, but I don't need you to set me up on a blind double date. Especially when the other couple is you and dad."

Barb Thunderman sighed. Max was good at making her sigh.

"Can you at least shave?"

"I happen to like this look, thank you."

ALERT ALERT

| BLIND DATE APPROACHING |

"Don't you dare!"

Max had one leg in the hatch. He scowled. Barb threw him a cardigan. "It'll bring out your eyes."

He angrily began to shrug into the light blue button up sweater. How it would bring out his brown eyes was anyone's guess. At the last moment, he stopped, grabbing his leather jacket instead. If he was forced out on a date he didn't want, at least he was going to look good. Stupid date.

This was the last thing he had wanted. He'd had major plans for the evening. Colosso was waiting to watch America's Last Rock Band with him. Then he had planned to be regrettably responsible and do a little surveillance at Oostergooster's. He figured Phoebe would never forgive him if he let the loser do something stupid. Or die. Or stupidly die.

"Max, this is Beatrice Karpos. Beatrice, this is our son, Maximus."

Barb ushered a large basket with legs towards him. "Nice to meet you, Max. Here's a little something from my family to yours," the walking basket said.

Before Max could stop her, his blind date thrust the giant basket of oranges into his arms. He staggered under the weight.

"Beatrice's family is made up of super growers," Barb explained. "Hank, could you take this?"

As if on cue, whenever food was around, Hank appeared. "Ooh are these Karpos oranges? I haven't had one of these since I had the Thunderflu."

Instead of taking the basket, he rooted around trying to find the biggest one. Max stomped on his foot.

"Y-ouch!" Hank howled. He grabbed the basket. "I'll just take these to the kitchen."

Max stared at the two women in the room. Beatrice looked a little older than him with a sharp nose that reminded him of a beak, curving down to thin lips. Her hair was a few shades lighter than the oranges. Her skin looked like it had spent too much time out in the sun. Her green dress and her lack of height made him think of an Oompa Loompa.

His mom had set him up with an Oompa Loompa.

Forty-five minutes later, Max was contemplating ways of climbing up the tube at Splatburger with only the help of a straw wrapper and a bone he had found sticking out of his hamburger. His mom and Beatrice had not shut up about some stupid farm since they got there and his dad hadn't looked up from the stack of food. Every time the pile started to go down, more shot down from the tube.

"—Max?"

Max had never been so happy to hear that voice. He scrambled out of the booth, barely avoiding kicking his date in the head.

"Cherry!" He said happily. "How you been?"

He crushed her to him so hard he seemed to push all the air out of her body. He pressed his lips to her ear. "I'm on the double date from Hell. Save me," he whispered before letting her go.

Cherry hadn't changed much since high school. Actually, she hadn't changed at all. Her blonde curls bounced as she smiled and leaned back. She held up her thumb, right to his face, and winked.

In front of everyone.

"Soooo," she said conversationally, turning and focusing in on Beatrice. "Are you from Hell, Michigan or Hell, Norway?"

Max laughed awkwardly as his mom's glare threatened to pound him flat on the ground. "So, Cherry, what did you need? Let's walk outside where my mom can't kill her second born. If you'll excuse us..."

Before she could answer, Max yanked Cherry away and outside. A group of teenagers hung around the entrance, the boys of the group flinging spitballs up at the awning using straws.

"Wong's giving out free burgers for the next five minutes," Max said casually.

The area cleared quickly. Cherry looked around in confusion.

"So what's up?"

Max was sure by the blank look that Cherry gave him that she had probably forgotten why she'd even walked up to him. Then he saw her tears. His eyes widened.

He hated tears. His tears. Other tears. Especially girl tears.

"Phoebe isn't answering my calls," Cherry sniffled. "It's been days."

"Oh," Max relaxed slightly. "She isn't really answering mine either. She's just super busy and-"

"But I need her."

"That makes two-" Max stopped. "I mean, the two of you always need each other. Give it a few weeks and things will be back to normal."

Cherry was not good at reading between the lines. Even though she had discovered (most) of their secrets, she still couldn't take the hint that her bestie might be on a mission.

"No, Max, you don't understand," she started playing with her car keys. Max thought about the fact that she had a license every time he got behind the wheel of his own car. It reminded him to be road aware. "I really need her this time. It's important."

Max laughed. "So are we talking 'best friend selfie project' important or 'I lost my car keys and had to walk here' important? Because if it's the last one, I can help you. The keys are in your hand."

The tears came back. Shit, the tears came back.

"No," Cherry wiped away the first dripper. The second one was even larger. Max squirmed.

"It's the 'I think I'm pregnant' kind of important. I can't do this without Phoebe. I need her to tell me what to do. I need her to hold my hand and sit on the edge of the tub with me and tell me what the test says."

She started crying harder. Max glanced up just as one of the spitwads came sailing down onto his face. He swatted it away. He glanced at Cherry again. He glanced around at nothing. Loud sob-gulps added to the tears. Max's shoulders slumped.

"You owe me, Pheebs," he mumbled. Cherry snort-sobbed.

"What?" Hiccup.

Max glanced through the windows back into the restaurant. He swore he saw ketchup dangling from the end of Beatrice's nose. She ate with her mouth open. Food had no choice to projectile out and that nose was just there to catch it.

"Let's go," Max said, snagging her keys.

Cherry's mascara had formed two parallel lines. "Where? To Phoebe?"

"I wish," Max sighed. "C'mon."

Cherry started crying again. Max grabbed her elbow and pointed it towards her little VW Bug. He had only rode in it one other time before and he had felt like he was taking a joy ride in a clown car. The second time was no different.

Except that Phoebe wasn't there. And she was going to owe him.

Oh was she going to owe him.