Chapter 8: Bipolar-ness
PillowBiter1901: Edward
HotDog: Jacob
RunsW/Wolves: Nessie
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Emmett
MotherOfIdiots: Esme
: Carlisle
adorablePIXIE: Alice
DaChillPill: Jasper
SEXblondIE: Rosalie
Bite x Me: Bella
TheBombLikeTickTick: Seth
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FluffumsTheTeddyBear has entered chat.
Bite x Me has entered chat.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Sexy can I?
Bite x Me: No, Emmett, you can't.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Stuntin' is a habit, get like me.
Bite x Me: No thank you.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Suck my chocolate salty balls.
Bite x Me: ...I'd rather not.
(All of those were real songs. And don't jump to conclusions about the last one; it is about making pastries. Gosh, you people have dirty minds.)
PillowBiter1901 has entered chat.
PillowBiter1901: Emmett, why are you harassing my wife?
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Cuz I can. OOOOOOooooohhhh...Burnttt.
Bite x Me: ...not really.
PillowBiter1901: And, no, you can't.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: so it's a 'no'?
PillowBiter1901: Yes.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: so it's a 'yes'?
PillowBiter1901: No.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: So it's a no to the yes?
PillowBiter1901: Yes.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: So, is that a yes to then, or a yes to the–
PillowBiter1901: You know what Emmett?
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: What?
PillowBiter1901: Shut up.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Fine then Eddie! Be a buttface like that!!! I'm just gonna...go..sit in that corner....and if it looks like I'm crying, I just want you know that I'M NOT!!!
PillowBiter1901: That's a bit melodramatic, don't you think? And we can't cry, Emmett.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP PEEING ON MY DREAMS, EDDIE?!
PillowBiter1901: Excuse me? I did not pee on your dreams. We can't pee either.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: YOU KNOW WHAT?! JUST, UGH!!
FluffumsTheTeddyBear has left chat.
Bite x Me: Emmett was getting really annoying.
PillowBiter1901: I agree. It was taking all the power I have not to punch some common sense into him. I swear to god....
Bite x Me: I know. It's just sooooo tempting.
PillowBiter1901: Indeed. I wonder what sound it would make if we slammed his head into the table...So very tempting.
Bite x Me: Have you ever wondered what would happen if we cut his head open? Would we find anything inside?
PillowBiter1901: Air.
Bite x Me: That's it?
PillowBiter1901: Yep.
Bite x Me: I don't find that surprising at all.
adorablePIXIE has entered chat.
adorablePIXIE: Heeeeeyyy....anyone know why Emmett is crying? Or...trying to cry?
Bite x Me: I would have thought you would know before we did.
adorablePIXIE: Well, I try my hardest to tune out visions of Emmett.
Bite x Me: I can see why.
adorablePIXIE: I bet you can. Anyway, answers to my question plz?
Bite x Me: Oh, well you see–
adorablePIXIE: Oh. Did he read what you wrote?
Bite x Me: No, silly! If he read what we wrote, he probably would have killed us!!
adorablePIXIE: True that.
Bite x Me: So, anyway, Eddie told him to shut up, but that's no reason to cry, so I'm contemplating whether it's his time of the month or not.
Bite x Me: I know!! Let's ask him!
adorablePIXIE: How will you get his attention?
Bite x Me: I have my ways....don't question them.
3.89 seconds later:
FluffumsTheTeddyBear has entered chat.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Bella, why did you throw your shoe at my head?
adorablePIXIE:You threw your shoe at him? That was your big way-that-I-should-not-question? I could have done that.
Bite x Me: Then why didn't you?
adorablePIXIE:Good point. Well, I would have seen you do it, if I wasn't concentrating on what Jasper and I will be doing l–
Bite x Me: TMI.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: So what do you guys want? Is Santa here to tell me I'm ugly and have no friends?
PillowBiter1901: Yes, Emmett, he is. But he got sick of waiting for you, so he told me to tell you that you have been a bad boy this year and that you wont be getting any presents.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: B-but...I like presents :( How could Bob do that to me?!
Bite x Me: Bob?
PillowBiter1901: Oh, that's right, we never told Bella the truth about Santa. His real name is Bob and he is a math teacher in Oregon. He changed his name to Santa so that he doesn't get raped by children, but that happened anyway. He's Aro's drinking buddy.
Bite x Me: Santa drinks?
adorablePIXIE: leDUH. Where do you think he got the bright idea of sending presents to all the ungrateful children of the world?
Bite x Me: wait....SANTA IS REAL?!
adorablePIXIE: Yeah Bella, where have you been? Get with it.
Bite x Me: Oh. Well, that makes a lot more sense.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: So....Bob's not giving me anything?
PillowBiter1901: Nope.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: But I really wanted that Hannah Montana wig......
PillowBiter1901: I'm sure you did. Well, it will just have to wait till next year.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: BUT I WANT IT NAO!!!!!
PillowBiter1901: Too bad.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Well...I'll be in my corner if...anyone..needs me.... :(
FluffumsTheTeddyBear has left chat.
TheBombLikeTickTick has entered chat.
DaChillPillhas entered chat.
Bite x Me: OMICORN, IS THAT SETHY–KINS?!
TheBombLikeTickTick: Hey Bella :)
PillowBiter1901: Sethy-kins?
Bite x Me: uh-huh. If you thought you were the only one who got a cute pet name, you were sadly mistaken mister.
PillowBiter1901: Wait...you never gave me a pet name.
Bite x Me: Oh. Well. I'm sorry Eddie-poo :)
PillowBiter1901: Oh gosh.
DaChillPill: HAHA Eddie-poo XD
Bite x Me: Stop being mean to Eddie- poo, Jazzy-boo!
PillowBiter1901: Jazzy-boo LOL
DaChillPill: Don't laugh. You're Eddie-poo. Remember that.
PillowBiter1901: True.
TheBombLikeTickTick: Mine's the only cool one. HAHA.
PillowBiter1901: Yes. Sethy-kins. Very...cool indeed.
DaChillPill: *snickers*
TheBombLikeTickTick: It's better than Jazzy-boo and Eddie-poo.
PillowBiter1901: Harsh, harsh reality.
DaChillPill: Meh. Whatever.
MotherOfIdiots has entered chat.
MotherOfIdiots: *sigh* what did you guys do to Emmett?
Bite x Me: OMICORN!! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EMMY-PIE!!
adorablePIXIE: WHAT?! I swear you are bipolar Bella. A second ago you were wondering what the inside of his head would look like if you cut it open, and now he is 'Emmy-pie'?
Bite x Me: Well, yeah. Do you have a problem with that?
adorablePIXIE: No Bella. Not at all.
Bite x Me: Good.
MotherOfIdiots: Uh-hem. I think we should return to the problem at hand.
Bite x Me: And that would be...?
MotherOfIdiots: Emmett?
Bite x Me: Oh right. I forgot about him again.
PillowBiter1901: You're right Esme. Emmett certainly is a problem.
MotherOfIdiots: Be nice, Eddie.
PillowBiter1901: Ugh. Not you too!
TheBombLikeTickTick: Oh, so Eddie doesn't like to be called Eddie?
PillowBiter1901: Shut it, Seth.
TheBombLikeTickTick: Okay.
PillowBiter1901: So, what's Emmett's problem this time?
MotherOfIdiots: Well, first he was all sad, then he was basically bouncing off the walls. I want an explanation.
Bite x Me: Well, he was sad cuz Eddie here told him that Santa wasn't gonna bring him presents.
MotherOfIdiots: Bob said what? I guess I need to give him a firm talking-to. Anyway, the bouncing part?
Bite x Me: I dunno. Maybe he has ADD?
PillowBiter1901: All vampires have ADD.
Bite x Me: Oh right. Well maybe that's why he was jumping, cuz we certainly didn't make him do that.....
FluffumsTheTeddyBear has entered chat.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Hey guys!! WASSUP??
adorablePIXIE: OMIGOSH, ARE YOU BIPOLAR TOO??
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: No, silly billy!!
Bite x Me: Hey. No stealing my line.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Know what? I think I will.
Bite x Me: Buttface.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Whatever. Hey Esme, do you eat the box?
MotherOfIdiots: What box?
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: THE box.
MotherOfIdiots: That box?
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: No, not that box.
MotherOfIdiots: Then what box?
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: You know.
DaChillPill: She eats the box.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Do you eat the box, Jazzy?
DaChillPill: Oh, I eat the box.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: And we all know Eddie eats the box.
DaChillPill: Of course he eats the box. With Capri Sun and alarm clocks.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: OOOOoooohhhh....that right there is grimy.
DaChillPill: And you all eat the box with tacos. Mmhmm.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Oh no. I eat that box with some dish soap and chocolate.
MotherOfIdiots: WHAT BOX?!
DaChillPill: The box...you know...the box.
MotherOfIdiots: I do hope you realize I have no idea what you're talking about.
DaChillPill: Oh, you know. You know you know. We know that you know you know. You know.
MotherOfIdiots: No, I don't.
DaChillPill: Yes, you do. Go ask Carlisle if he eats the box and see what he says.
MotherOfIdiots: Fine!!
MotherOfIdiots has left chat.
.98 seconds later:
MotherOfIdiots has entered chat.
MotherOfIdiots: Oh. That box.
DaChillPill: Yes, that box.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Yo, Jazz, I figured something out; You eat the box with cherries, don't you?
DaChillPill: DO NOT!! I sooooo eat it with crayons and pasta sauce. Don't get it twisted.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: mmmhm...suuuuure :)
DaChillPill: I DO!! No cherries here!!
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: Sure, whatever.
DaChillPill: Back off Emmy-pie.
FluffumsTheTeddyBear: What?
TheBombLikeTickTick:: CREEPtascular.
DaChillPill: Long story.
**
A/N:
Well, I really don't think this chapter was that funny, but hopefully you guys will tell me whether it was or not in your reviews. Yes, I am implying something there.
So, about the end, the box is this joke that the immature buys in my school started. You can probably figure out what it is.
About the dish soap and cherries part, I have no idea. That was just random. The 'peeing on my dreams' part I got from somewhere else, but I don't know where so, so credit goes to whoever said it.
Oh, and please read my story 'Dark Blue'. If you were wondering why it took me so long to update, it's cuz I already have three chapters of it posted. It's a Twilight fanfic, of course, and I basically made it for all the people who think this story is illiterate, annoying, and/or not funny so that maybe they think differently of me. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you guys like it too :)
– Jazz (Yes, I changed my penname.)