The Gift

Chapter Ten - Mixed Feelings

"Monica Geller, will you marry me?" Chandler asked, on bended knee, holding a keychain as an engagement ring.

Monica looked at him, shocked. She couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Finally, she gave him her answer. "No."

Chandler looked excited for a minute and took her left hand to place the makeshift ring on her finger. "Oh, Mon -" The look of excitement on his face quickly changed to confusion when he realized what she had said. "No? You said no?"

"Chandler, I love you, but you're not ready for this. We've only been dating for a couple of months, sweetie. We don't have to rush into anything right now." She took his hand and pulled him up so he could sit on the bed beside her. "I want to be your wife when you're ready for me to be your wife. And you're not ready right now."

"How do you know that I'm not ready right now?" he asked. "I could be."

"Honestly, Chandler, I'm not ready either. And you can say you're ready if you want to... But you're not," Monica responded. "Think about it."

He didn't speak for a minute, trying to comprehend what he had just done. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. "I'm so sorry," he apologized. "I must look like the biggest idiot in the whole world," he said. "I proposed to you with a keychain," he laughed.

"Yeah. And since you brought it up, I'm gonna need the real thing when the time comes," she teased.

"No problem," he replied, trying to stop laughing. "I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot, Chandler. That was very romantic. And if we were ready to get married, I would have said yes."

"To that? I'm surprised you didn't laugh in my face," he said, finally able to control his own laughter.

"I wouldn't do that," she assured him.

"But you deserve everything, Monica. Not just a hasty proposal like that one. You deserve candlelight and roses... And a real engagement ring," he said, looking at the keychain he still had in his hand. "And, when we're ready, you'll have that," he promised. "I'll make sure it's something you'll never forget."

"No matter what you do, Chandler, I'll never forget it," she smiled. "Just like I'll never forget this," she continued and started laughing.

"I thought you said you wouldn't laugh at me."

"I guess I lied," she responded, still laughing.

"That's it," he teased and pushed her onto her back. "You're not gonna lie to me and get away with it," he smirked before kissing her passionately.

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Three months later, the six friends were happier than they had ever been. Ross, Rachel, and Rebecca were still a happy little family. Joey had moved in with Phoebe after the wedding, and he and Phoebe were talking about starting their own family. Chandler was living alone, just across the hall from Monica, although it seemed that he was hardly ever at his own place anymore. They had just decided that they were going to live together, in Monica's apartment.

"Hey, you," Chandler smiled when he walked into Central Perk one afternoon to find Monica sitting on the orange couch by herself. He joined her and quickly kissed her cheek. "What's goin' on?" he asked, seeing how distant she seemed.

"Oh. Nothing," she answered, finally looking over at him. "Hi, sweetie," she continued and kissed him.

"Hi," he said, not quite convinced that there was nothing going on. "Honey, are you having second thoughts about me moving in with you?" he asked worriedly.

"No, honey, it's not that," she assured him. "I can't wait for you to move in with me," she smiled.

"I can't wait either," he smiled back at her. "I just stopped by for a minute when I saw you in here, but I'm supposed to meet Joey down the street for lunch. Wanna come?" he asked.

"No. You go ahead," she replied. "I've got some things I need to do."

"All right," he said reluctantly. He could tell that something was going on with her. "You've got my cell phone number if you need me for anything, okay?"

"Okay... Bye, Chandler."

"Bye, Mon. See you later."

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After she had finished her coffee, Monica went back up to her apartment and plopped down on the couch. Of all things, she didn't need this. Not now. Not this way. She had no idea how she was going to tell Chandler. She couldn't believe it herself. Chandler would probably be out with Joey for awhile, so at least she had some time to think it over. That was good.

But it wasn't true. Only moments after Monica got home, Chandler walked through the door. "Hey, Mon," he said, walking over to join her in the living room.

"Hey," she replied, a little surprised to see him. "I thought you were having lunch with Joey."

"I was supposed to, but I wanted to check on you, so I asked him if we could do it another time... There's something wrong, isn't there?" he questioned.

"No, Chandler. Not really," she answered. Now she had no time at all to plan this.

"Listen, Mon. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" She nodded. "So just tell me. Maybe I can help."

"Oh, you've helped enough already," she replied, smiling weakly. Her smile faded and she forced herself to look into his eyes. "I'm pregnant."

He just stared at her in silence for a few seconds, then spoke. "Pregnant?" She nodded. "But we used protection every time."

"I know... But it doesn't always work, Chandler. These things happen."

"Okay. We're having a baby." He wanted to be excited but, after the last time, he wasn't sure that he could be until he knew that everything was going to be okay. "Have you seen your doctor?" he asked.

"Yes. She says that I'm already three months along and -"

"Three months? Shouldn't you have...you know, noticed, by now?" he questioned.

"Probably. But things haven't been normal since the miscarriage with all of the stress I've been under. So I didn't really have a clue that anything was going on until my appointment this morning."

"I see... So, are you okay? Are you and the baby healthy?" he asked worriedly. He couldn't lose this baby too. He couldn't go through that again. Neither of them could handle that.

"Well, there's another thing," she began.

"Another thing? What's the other thing?"

"There are two babies. We're having twins," she informed him.

"Wow. Two for the price of one," he said, amazed. "In that case, are you and the babies healthy?"

"Yeah. At the moment," she answered. "I'm already through the first trimester, so that's a really good thing... But there could be problems later on. I'm almost 42. These aren't exactly my best childbearing years, you know."

"But you'll be fine," he tried to assure her. "I'm sure of it."

Monica had tried to keep calm for Chandler's sake when she told him, but she couldn't put on a brave face anymore. She was terrified. "Chandler, I'm so scared," she sobbed. "If I lose these babies, too, I... I just don't think I could take that."

"I know, Monica... I know..." he said quietly, pulling her into his arms and holding her as close to him as he could. "We'll get through this together. We'll do everything that the doctor says... That's all we can do, Mon."

"I know," she agreed, trying to stop crying. "I want to be happy, Chandler. I really do. But I just don't know how to do that. I'm afraid to get my hopes up this time... And I feel so guilty."

"I understand," he assured her. He knew exactly how she was feeling. He was experiencing nearly every emotion possibly at the moment.

She pushed away from him gently and walked over to the kitchen table, returning moments later with a videotape.

"What's this?" Chandler asked when she handed it to him.

"Our babies," she replied. "It's a video from the sonogram today. I thought you might want to watch it... But you don't have to if you don't want to," she quickly added.

"I want to," he said and got up to put the tape in. They both sat down on the couch, and Chandler pushed play on the remote control.

Seconds later, the blurry images appeared on the television screen, and Chandler's eyes filled with tears. He didn't want to cry - not when Monica needed him to be strong. But seeing those tiny little blurs that were the beginning of new life touched a part of him that he didn't even know existed. The first time Monica had been pregnant, they hadn't made it this far. They'd never been able to see their baby. But this was real. The babies were real.

"That's incredible," Chandler whispered, his eyes still glued to the television.

Monica reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks and placed a gentle kiss where her fingers had brushed his skin. The first time she had seen the sonogram, she hadn't been able to control her tears either. Although she had known that there was a life inside of her with her first pregnancy, it hadn't seemed completely real to her. Now, she had been able to see the little miracles that were growing inside of her. And she was just as scared as she was happy.

Chandler moved his hand to rest on Monica's stomach, while he was still staring at the screen. She placed her hand over his and rested her head on his shoulder. "Pretty amazing, huh?" she said quietly. "I still can't believe that this is happening. And I can't believe that we're having two babies," she added, looking at the screen with him. Those blurry images and squiggly lines were the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

Chandler finally managed to look away from the television and looked at Monica. "I love you, Monica. No matter what happens, I love you - and I love our babies."

"I love you, too," Monica replied and kissed him tenderly. "And I love our babies. No matter what."

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A/N - Thank you for your reviews for the last few chapters. And I'm sorry that she didn't say yes... But there's more to come... Please let me know what you thought.