Attack on Titan © Isayama Hajime
She was young and feeling seasick
Erwin had claimed work had been busy then without warning showed up in front of her door, catching her off guard on faded top and checkered pants. He proceeded to haul Historia into the car, disregarding her attempt to protest with calming nonchalance.
Before she could grasp what had happened, both of them were standing in front of clear glass, gazing at jellyfish bobbing up and down in unhurried manner. Never before in her life had she seen them so close nor experienced a quaint aquarium after closing hour.
Too perplexed to make any conversation, Historia's eyes following the glowing creatures in curiosity. The blue light reflecting around them and the gurgling sound of water had strangely calming effect. She felt so surreal...
Coming down from high, she found Erwin looking at her with faraway expression. It bothered her whenever he did that, because for a brief moment, she would wonder if he was imagining she was someone else...
"Is everything okay?"
Historia didn't say anything but leaning against him, too tired to fight.
She couldn't keep up with her... Frieda would forever be eighteen, while she would be running out of time any day now...
That thought was heading nowhere when Erwin placed a blue box on her opened palm.
He was never fond of complicated thing
Do you know, Jean began casually, Historia's boyfriend?
Eren shrugged, yeah... He wasn't entirely comfortable with where this conversation was going. Sorry, but I need to go.
Where are you going? Armin carefully asked.
He could already feel their disapproval and held back his tongue.
Going out with Historia again? Jean winced. You have no tact at all, don't you?
He decided he couldn't take it anymore, making his way out in long strides. The audacity of those two... It wasn't as though he had to explain everything to them.
He still could hear Armin. You shouldn't have done that, Eren!
But he made no promise.
Nothing could break their fall
It was hard to be good when a pretty boy checked on her. People would make assumption, she would deny.
Historia looked at Eren looking at her, and wondered what they were doing.
She supposed that she wasn't doing anything unfaithful. But there was a mixed-in that made her stomach churn, feeling wrong, that even she herself wouldn't accept it.
Today was a bad day, she could already feel it.
Sitting in the quiet rooftop, Historia lit her cigarette, careful not to let the cigarette butt to fall on her long, impractical dress—Frieda owned a great number of dresses in similar fashion and had always looked effortlessly good on them.
"Aren't you trying too hard?" Eren suddenly said, scanning her from head to toe. It's like looking at that girl from Zeke's yearbook.
Historia seemed to get what he had implied, turning her face away. She could pretend otherwise, but she wouldn't get past Eren.
"I'm fine," she said, and her words faltered slightly against the howl of wind, sounded off and jagged. Even she was unsure of herself.
"I don't get these." Eren absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair. "You are fine being a placeholder...?"
In her innocent fashion, Historia met his gaze and the words died on his tongue. Maybe she should have been an opinionated girl, making loud enough noises to get away. But instead she slumped against the wall and spoke softly, "It's not that bad... I know it will get better."
Eren looked at her as if she was dumb.
"You are delusional," he marveled. "Have you learned nothing after all?"
He had a feeling that she would cry a lot in the future. That thought made his chest constrict in a way he had never thought before. It was then he knew.
He waited and waited for a precise moment to stake his claim. But after all he was just a sentiment, the second best. Easily to get replaced when the main guy came along.
"If everything's not bad, then what are you doing here with me?" he asked quietly.
Historia's eyes glazed over. Her jaw worked but no sound came out. The ring box hung heavily inside her pocket as she reached up for him.
"Eren..."
He raised a hand in front of her face, a verbal equivalent of him telling her to stop.
"Historia, I draw the line here," his voice was utterly calm. "We need to stop playing this game. I wouldn't keep up with whatever you throw me."
She found herself at the focus of his piercing gaze.
"I have no interest in taking a second place. You know how well that turned out to be."
She might be dysfunctional and awkward but she knew.
He had started to look at her the same way she looked at Erwin. Inspite of that, she chose to turn blind. Utterly despicable.