9
---
Day three and four of the expedition passed. Day five was muggy. Up towards the front of the line, Arnold walked close to Lila and chatted lightly with the pretty redhead.
"What's Irish and stays out all night?" Asked Lila.
"Hmm," Arnold thought about the riddle for a moment. "I don't know, Lila. What?"
Closer to the back, Helga grumbled, "Patty O'Furniture."
"Patty O'Furniture!" Said Lila.
Arnold laughed. "That's a good one, Lila!" The girl slipped her arm through Arnold's.
"Oh Arnold, I'd love it ever so much if you'd tell me more stories about your parents! That is, if you don't mind."
"Not at all!"
"I just find your stories…ever so delightful!" Helga ground her teeth as she watched the pair.
"Look at them, Pheebs! Lila doesn't even believe Arnold, and she's playing him for a sap! It's pathetic!"
Phoebe shot her friend a knowing glance. "Why do you care so much, Helga?"
Helga turned the color of milk. "I don't! I'm just sick of watching Little Miss Perfect make a fool out of the Football Head, that's all! It's pretty sad!"
Phoebe rolled her eyes upward. "If you say so, Helga." She walked ahead humming.
Helga furrowed her unibrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing at all."
"Oh, no!" Helga ran to catch up. "You meant something…Ow!" The blonde cascaded towards the ground cover. "Oomph!"
Arnold heard her cry and turned. "Helga!" He ran towards her. "Are you all right?"
Helga pushed away his help. "I'm fine, Arnoldo! I just tripped over a stupid tree root that's all! I'm not a baby, I can take care of myself!" Brushing dirt, twigs, and leaves off her dress, she winced. Blood trickled down her arm from a large diagonal scrape on her left palm. Biting her lip, she tried to hide it from sight, but it was to late. Arnold and Phoebe had seen the injury.
"Helga," Arnold tried again. "That's a nasty cut on your hand. I think you should clean it out. I have a First Aid kit in my pack."
Helga glared. "What are you, some kind of doctor?"
Phoebe nodded. "Arnold's right, Helga. Without proper medical attention, the wound will most certainly become infected."
Helga rolled her eyes. "All right, Football Face. But this had better work." She sat down on the ground and held out her hand.
Phoebe retrieved Arnold's kit and opened it. "I need rubbing alcohol and cotton balls." He told the small Asian girl. "Helga, this might sting…"
"Come on, Arnold! I've gotten cuts before! Sheesh!"
"All right," He opened the bottle and poured the liquid on the soft white fluff. As quickly as possible, he dabbed on the gash and blew on it.
Helga looked at him as if he was insane. "What are you doing?"
"Blowing on it stops the hurt." He explained, then said to Phoebe, "I need gauze and tape."
"Getting!" Phoebe chimed.
As Arnold wrapped Helga's hand, he said, "You'll probably need to keep it like this for a week. There! How is that?"
Helga inspected the work. "Not bad, Doctor Arnoldo!" She stood. "Looking good!"
"Kids," Called Mr. Simmons. "Hurry up! Nadine found a vampire bat sleeping in a tree! Come on, you don't want to miss this!"
Phoebe ran to catch up with the group. Arnold started to follow, but Helga caught his arm. "Hey Arnold, wait a sec."
"What is it, Helga?"
Helga shuffled her feet and looked at the ground. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, you know, about my hand and all…"
Arnold smiled. "You're welcome. That's what friends are for."
Helga looked him in the eye. "Are we friends?"
"Well, yeah." Arnold shrugged. "You might drive me crazy, and call me names, and boss me around, and embarrass me in front of everyone…"
Helga crossed her arms. "There had better be a 'but' coming up, Football Head."
"But," Arnold said, "You're still my friend."
"Thanks, Arnold." Helga put her good hand on his shoulder. "That means a lot to me."
Arnold nodded. "I'm going to see that vampire bat."
When he was out of sight, Helga danced for joy. "Yes! He held my hand, and he said we're friends! Oh, happy day! Oh, wonderful, magnificent, happy day!" She stopped her dance. "Friends huh?" Helga smiled and rubbed the gauze. "Well, it's not truly, madly, can't-live-without-you, in love, but it's a pretty good start!" She leaned against a tree and sighed, then stood. "Hey Arnold, Phoebe, wait up!"
---
"Wasn't that bat terrific, Rhonda?" Nadine said to the lagging girl behind her. "This jungle has everything!" She held up a tree branch for her red faced, sweaty friend.
"Except decent rest stops!" Rhonda complained. "Ugh! My back is killing me! Can we stop for a minute?"
Nadine sighed. "I guess. We're already behind the group, not that that's anything new."
Rhonda set down her gear and collapsed on the ground. "I'll be so glad when this terrible trip is over! Why couldn't we go somewhere nice, like 'Macy's'?"
"Rhonda, you're just mad because you have to carry around all those suitcases!" Nadine snapped a photo of some passionflower. "Perfect shot! Besides," She stopped and looked around at the majesty of the rainforest. "It's gorgeous out here! How can you compare 'Macy's' to the splendor of nature? Look at the texture of the leaves! The unmatched blue of the sky! The sparkling clear water! All the animals are so happy! Man could never match this!" Nadine spread her arms and closed her arms, soaking in the atmosphere. "Rhonda, if you'd stop thinking about yourself for a few minutes, you'd realize that this is truly Heaven on Earth!" And I wish that for once you weren't so self-centered so you could see it, She added silently.
Rhonda stood. "At least 'Macy's' is air-conditioned!" She whined. "It's hot, it's buggy, I didn't get to go swimming, I'm out of Canadian Cherry Soda, I'm totally bored plus I…I…I have a disgusting worm on my shirt! Oh Nadine! Get it off! Argh!" The girl shook her arm recklessly. Nadine turned her head.
"Rhonda, stop!" She cried. "You don't know what you're what doing!"
"Getting this slimy creature off me!"
"No!" Nadine rushed over and held fast to Rhonda's arm. "Thank goodness you didn't kill it! Rhonda, this is the larva of the Blue Morpho Butterfly! It may look like a worm now, but once it emerges from its chrysalis, it will be one of the most beautiful creatures in the entire world! Here, let me get out my book so I can show you…"
"I don't care, Nadine!" Rhonda shouted. "Fine, if you won't get it off, I will!" Digging into her pocket, she pulled out a thin gold piece of plastic.
"Daddy's credit card!" She held it up triumphantly. "At least it's good for something out here!" She slid the card under the larva and flicked it two yards away. "Got you, you nasty beast!" Rhonda cried. Rushing over, she lifted her foot and prepared to crush it.
"No!" Nadine screamed and dove at her friend. "I won't let you kill it!"
Rhonda was startled but she held her ground. "Nadine, get ahold of yourself! It's just a bug!" She yelled.
"It's not just a bug, it's my favorite!" Nadine grabbed at her friend's arms.
"Barbarian!" Yelled Rhonda.
"Snob!" Yelled Nadine. She finally managed to overthrow the other girl, and they both fell to the ground like dominos. Out of the corner of her eye, Rhonda saw a flash of gold soar through the air.
"Daddy's credit card!" Rhonda pushed Nadine off her just in time to see the card land in a mud puddle and sink.
"No!" She let out a bloodcurdling scream. "Oh, no!" Running over to the puddle, she began to sift through the grime and dirt, throwing clay everywhere. "I can't find it! Oh, I can't find it! Mother's going to burst a blood vessel! And Daddy! I don't even want to think about what Daddy will do!" Sitting back, the girl, now covered from head to toe in filth and looking quite the opposite of refined, buried her head in her knees and began to quietly sob.
Looking at her dirty best friend, Nadine felt almost ready to cry herself. "Rhonda, I know this won't help, but I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. And I'll tell your parents that the credit card thing was my fault. You know, they never liked me anyway so…"
Rhonda lifted her head up. "That's it." She whispered. Then she screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She stomped past Nadine and over to her bags. "First thing to do is to get rid of all this garbage!" And with a mighty kick, she scattered her luggage into the jungle. "Now I can start this trip the real way!" She declared.
Nadine gasped. "You mean…"
"That's right!" Rhonda stood tall and firm with her hands on her hips. "From now on, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd is living off the land!"
---
Sitting on a log towards the end of the day, Arnold watched the sunset as he wrote. …Getting Eugene out of that mess set us back some, but Mr. Simmons says we can make it up by getting up earlier. Some of the kids aren't happy about that. I'm glad that Eugene's ok, though. Anyone else pulled headfirst out of piranha infested water might be shaken up, but not Eugene! He's still as peppy as ever…
"Hey Football Head, mind if I sit down?" Said a voice from above. Arnold looked up.
"Hi Helga. Not at all." He closed his journal and set it next to him. "So…" He searched quickly in his head for a topic that wouldn't offend her. "How's your hand?"
She held it up. "Doing good."
"That's nice." There was an awkward silence. "Um, Helga…"
"What?" Helga shouted. Flailing her arms, she jumped up. "Criminy, what did I do now?"
"Calm down Helga," Arnold said. "I was going to say that your shoe was untied." Helga looked down.
"Oh. So it is." She stooped to the ground and retied the laces, then sat back on the log.
Arnold sighed bitterly. "Why are you so defensive all the time?"
"I am not!" Helga sat up straight and jammed her hands on her hips. "I'm the least defensive person you'll ever meet! I'm so undefensive that it's…it's…it's offensive!"
Arnold just smiled. "Helga, you're being defensive about being defensive."
The blonde's face crumpled as she realized he was right. "Aw, forget it. I don't even know why I came over here." She stood up and started to leave.
"Why did you come over here?"
Helga turned back. "Huh?"
Arnold shrugged. "Why did you come over here?"
The tall girl rubbed her arm with her good hand and stared off into the twilight. "I dunno." She mumbled. "I guess maybe it was what you said earlier about being friends. I mean, Phoebe's doing stuff with the other girls, and well…Aw heck!" Her voice became louder. "I was lonely, ok? I mean I'm alone a lot, and sometimes it gets to me, you know? You can't always be by yourself! Even I need a little human companionship, and you said we were friends, so I just thought…I just thought…"
Arnold stared at her for a minute, then gestured to the spot next to him. "Have a seat, Helga."
Taking her place back on the log, Helga pulled up her legs. "Wanna know the last thing Bob said to me?"
"What?"
Helga laughed. "He told me not to come home with any boyfriends! Can you believe it…"