Stuck in my Crawl

by Josie E.

Entry Number Ten: Impending doom. Why is it always me?

September 16th 1978

11:40 am- Potions

Dear Journal,

Why me? Have I really done something to deserve this anguish?

"Hey sexy," Sirius said sitting down in the vacant seat next to me in Potions. Yup, Remus hasn't shown up yet. Wonder what's keeping him.

Maybe a giant gorilla has eaten him. Or a bunch of ninjas sneak attacked him! Oh my God! What if he's traveled back in time and is currently being attacked by raging pilgrims. Stupid pilgrims.

"Hey Si, what's up?"

"The sky." He answered with a slight chuckle. How original! Ladies and gentlemen meet Sirius Black the worst joke teller in the world! So repetitive and boring as to make professor Binnes fall off his chair.

"Ha. Good one." Might as well amuse him.

"So, got a date yet?" he asked raising his eyebrow, a giant grin on his face insinuating he knew the answer already.

Top five reasons why I should say no to Sirius:

5-He's devilish.

4- Still a slight chance that Remus didn't run away to join the circus out of sudden impulse and will want to ask me to dance, where we will frolic happily and I won't be lonely for the rest of my life.

3-He's too good looking. Nothing good can come of it. I must fight my hormonal-ly charged female sex. So...hard...do not give in to his amazing bod! Must look away!

2-Will make Alice jealous. Huh, on the other hand, that's not a bad thing. Evil Grin

1-Heavy drinker.

Sirius the Tank. That's right, who would have thought, lovable perverted womanizing mischievous prankster whom is best friends with the annoyingly always in your face and laughing at other people's hair (hello, have you seen his hair? It sticks up in strange places and it's jet black; it looks like he never heard of a very useful invention called a hairbrush.) Womanizing jerk Potter...whoa I lost my train of thought. Well basically who would have thought that beneath that calm cool exterior of handsomeness and one of the best bloody English accent I've ever hear (honestly everyone should have his pronunciation and to die for accent) would exist a total, sometimes more than others, drunk. Ok, over exaggerating again, not a drunk; here's basically a definition brought to you by The Galactical Book Of All-Knowing Words: (Joke! Don't sue, I have naught but vinyl records!)

Si-ri-us: 1A long bottomless pit or stomach or even body that never seems to fill, at all! Also known as the brightest star in the sky, otherwise known as Canis Major. 2Over usage of puns with the word serious, which can be very repetitive and dull. 3Stupid womanizing prat.

Bl-ack: 1Black mailer. 2Look up Sirius(above you idiot), combine both together.

Hence, the tank. I know, I don't get it either.

"No I don't have a date yet, as you unmistakably already know." I answered.

"Hum, I see."

Just then, like a beautiful flower in spring, or even Gabriel appearing to Marie, Remus popped up. Scratch that last one. Remus is nothing like the amazing St. Gabriel my patron saint. Or Michael the archangel. He's more like a Greek God really. Completely different. Hum, wonder if Remus is Greek. His name comes from Greek mythology and his skin is of the Greek tint. Wow, I wrote the word Greek (counting this one time) 5 times, in 3 lines. Must find a synonym for Greek.

"Oh hey Remmy." Sirius said cheerfully, getting out of Remus' reserved seat, which I'm happy, he remembered. Would have been awkward if I would of had to ask him to leave so that his seat could go to my beloved Remus.

"Thanks" he said sitting down next to me. Remus is sitting next to me! NEXT TO ME! HA!

"See you guys." Sirius added, walking to the other end of the room where Potter was sitting scowling. He's such a baby. Sirius talks to me and he gets jealous.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, thanks for saving my seat." He said, with a smile, looking deep into my soul. I felt as if he could read my mind. Which frankly, wasn't a good thing, seeing as how my mind can be filthy and perverted like a drunken clown.

"No prob. figured you'd run into a snag of some sort." Help! Help! Can't stop my mind. Will accidentally blurt out something sexual or stupid and I'll be domed to spend the rest of my life working as a cranky old librarian with absolutely no love life. Which Ironically will be the source of my crankiness.

"Ya, damn Angus started at me for leaving mud behind. I haven't even been outdoors since yesterday. Turns out it was that stupid prat Dilken." He said, staring intently at my face. What is it? Oh my God, do I have a huge pimple? Great, am domed. Am giant procreating zit machine. Why can't I have clear skin like the rest of my peers?

"Sodding evil bloke. I swear that caretaker has a stick rammed up his arse. Constantly blaming the wrong people and always cranky. Don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile."

"True." He said cracking a smile of his own.

"Good morning class." Ya right, good for whom? So far I've managed to create mayhem in the great hall, spill orange juice over self, make blundering fool of self and humiliate self, all in less than three hours. Good morning all right.

...Then again, things seem to be looking up.

"Today we'll be makingļ‚¼" God this man is boring. Surprised he has a wife. Who'd want to marry some dried up prune that drones on for hours and gives away detentions like Dumbledore gives candy.

Now, to casually steer the conversation to the upcoming dance without sounding desperate or expectant.

"I'll grab the ingredients from the cupboard." I said, totally panicking as people starting readying today's experiment.

Can't believe I freaked out like that. Ahhh, hands trembling. What the hell is wrong with me!

"Ouff!"

Oh no, broke a vial which contained some kind of slimy substance. Why the hell did Alice just run into me like that? I can't believe her. Calm down Evans, calm. Remain true to the Zen. What the hell am I saying? I don't even know what that means. Urgh, that slim smells horrible. Feeling a little light headed. Think I'll just go sit down.

"You alright?" asked Remus as I stubbled to my desk.

"Me? Oh ya, excellent. As great as Alexander."

"If you say." he added with a chuckle. "So, big dance coming up huh?" he asked, getting straight to the point. Why is it the guys seems to have no fear, no readable outwardly emotion? Maybe he's a robot here to steal my brain!

Ohhhh, the inside of my head is all fuzzy. Feels as if a plethora of pink bunnies just found home inside my head. Jumping around all over. Jumppy jumppidy jump! Jump, jump!

"James is a great guy isn't he?" he mentioned waiting for my answer. Potter? What in the name of Da Vinci is he getting at? Ohhhh, he's a great inventor/painter. Apparently a homosexual. Like Remus. I'm the descendant of the Homo Sapiens. Haha, sapiens...

"Ah ha ha ha ha, great, oh yes very. I like chocolate, don't you? It's just soooo chocolaty! I don't know why, but I have the sudden urge for chocolate!"

Oh Remus purrr-ty! Must touch. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Lily, why you poking me?"

"You're my angel Remus!" pat, pat, "I don't care if you're gay, it's hot!" touchy his face. "Guys! Ah ha ha ha ha! Guys, must have. Go to dance Remmy?"

Oh, no good feeling. Black spots. Must catch. Oh puurrr-tttyy starys! Willhug...

A/N: Buaha-ha-ha-ha! I'm so evil! Cliffhanger! Now I would like to first and foremost make amends for my long absence. Secondly I would like to thank all of you who have sent e-mails, and reviews helping me through this difficult time. I would have updated a little while back but I was swamped with stuff. An other chapter to come sometime next week, cuz I still have two or three more stories to update first. Once more, thanks to everyone, you're great! Oh, and can you believe I've been trying to load this chapter for three days now? Fanfiction...

Love you all,

Josie

P.S: OH MY FREAKIN' GIDDY GOD OF HEAVEN AND ALL THAT IS RIGHTEOUS! Chapter ten! Happy anniversary to me! Ten chapters, an unbelievable feet! Celebrate by drawing fan art of Lily clobbering James, run the streets naked! Just do something celebratory! Realize it's not a word! WHO-HO! Am as great as Alexander! Copyrights!

Old A/N:

April 2nd 2006:

No, sorry guys this isn't a new chapter. I know I've been a little slow on the updates and all, but my grandmother is passing away and it's an extremely hard and emotional time for all of us. She has Alzheimer, a horrible cruel disease that renders the subject to lose not only her memory but strip them of everything. So, please, if you can, donate money at the Alzheimer's society so that we can make sure no one else has to suffer. Because without donations, scientist can't support their research; it is an extremely costly profession, which needs a lot of expensive equipment. I saw my great grandmother pass away in the same fashion, and since it's hereditary I wouldn't be able to watch my father slowly disappear either (I don't think I could go threw it all again) and I hope that together we can find a cure. I'm sorry for the huge damper but I can't bring myself to update for a while, I'll be extremely busy and to say the least very depressed and angry for the next couple of days. So keep looking for updates, but I can't guarantee anything until the end of the week or next week at the latest. Sorry any inconvenience this may have caused and I hope you'll keep with the story anyway. In the mean time I suggest reading some of my other stories, which include: Raspberry Sugar Quills and Stuck in my Crawl, which has been recently updated. Thank you, once again for your time and support.

Love always,

Josie G. Evans