AN: I am prefacing this chapter with two very simple statements: don't kill me just yet, there is a plan & Chapter 11 will be up on Wednesday.
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Chapter 10: Diamond in the Rough
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Standing at the washbasin vigorously scrubbing her hands, not caring that her skin was now red and raw, Nell remembers the first time she saw the sparkling ensemble of diamonds and sapphires. All she can see now is the blood that won't come out. Eric's blood. And she doesn't know whether she can face going back out into the world, knowing he isn't going to be there by her side. But there's still Bethany and even though she's falling apart at the seams, she'd never forgive herself if something happened to their little girl.
She might not be able to do anything for Eric now but she can still save Bethany, all she needs is time and a little bit of luck.
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. .:. .. .: The Past :. .. .:. .
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"Hey Nell, wait up!"
Nell turned to see Eric hurtling down the stairs of the darkened Mission. It was late, they had to be the only people left in the building except the skeleton night crew that kept watch. They'd been rushing around all day trying to get ready to go undercover and all she wanted was to go home, have a bath and enjoy one last night of uninterrupted solitude.
Digging into a reserve of strength she was sure she couldn't sustain for much longer, Nell waited near the door for Eric to catch up. It wasn't that she was against spending time with him it was just she knew that a couple of weeks of raising a six-year-old, living under a false identity, pretending to be married to her best friend without ruining their friendship and working some totally new job on top of doing Ops work wasn't going to be easy. In fact, by all accounts it was going to be one of the toughest things she'd ever done. Which is why she needed to bank up her peace and quiet, fortify a few mental walls and figure out how to even begin to deal with being on alert 24-7 not as the Queen of Ops but mother, wife and temporary agent.
Shoving all of that over-thinking as far back in her mind as she could, Nell smiled as Eric came to a stop two paces in front of her. Normally he would have just continued walking until they were level and they'd go on together, falling into step as they walked out to the car park but today, he stopped so she waited.
And waited.
"Umm... Eric? Is there something...? Ah, something you've forgotten or -?" Nell's words dragged out as she tried to figure out what exactly he was trying to achieve by just standing there looking at her.
Now that she came to think about it he looked extremely uncomfortable. The other thing that was odd was that he'd kept his left hand in his pocket. With an audible sigh, Nell decided the only real option was to wait it out. Eric would occasionally freeze around her and there would be at least one offbeat sentence, maybe more, then he'd be back to treating her like the best friend and partner she was.
"I think you should have a ring." Eric blurted out suddenly.
Nell froze. "Pardon?"
"A ring. I know Hetty gave you one but it's - it's not the same."
"What -" Nell frowned in confusion, "I'm not following. You mean our wedding rings? But Hetty -"
"I want you to have - I mean you need to have one to fit in - but I do want you to have it and so -" Eric stumbled and backtracked, looking more agitated with every attempt, till finally subsiding into silence again.
He clearly trying to say something important but what still eluded them both. If it hadn't been important he would be able to just come straight out and say it so she had to keep trying to figure it out or they could be stuck here all night.
"I need something else?" Nell asked tentatively, picking the easier of the two options. Want was a dangerous word.
Eric nodded and with a visible intake of breath, took his hand out of his pocket and held something out in the palm for her to see.
Nell was glad she'd been leaning against the wall waiting for him, if she hadn't she'd probably have had to reach a hand out to it for support. Nell's mouth was suddenly dryer than the Sahara Desert as she looked up from Eric's palm meet his gaze. The intensity she found there did nothing to slow her heart's rapid acceleration.
"I know this isn't the way this is supposed to happen and that, well, this isn't - that we aren't - that none of this is for keeps - but," Eric paused and swallowed audibly, "you deserve to have a proper engagement ring. Everyone else will have one and you've already done so much for me by saying you'll come but most of all - Nell, I want you to have it."
For a few heart beats all Nell could do was stare at the beautiful combination of white gold inlaid with alternating diamonds and sapphires and finished with a central princess cut diamond, set so the corners pointed like a compass north, south, east and west. It was all starting to make sense. The hesitation, the cryptic talk of needing another ring, the fear she could now see in his eyes. Everyone else would have an engagement ring. And now, so would she.
Before she'd had a chance to start to put her incoherent thoughts into sentences let alone begin to form words aloud, Eric stumbled on, his sentences broken and yet heart-warmingly sweet.
"You don't have to keep it - I mean, we can get something different if it's not -" Eric sighed, looking slightly green, "I thought maybe sapphires would be ok?"
Nell could see the tension and the anxiety that had made rigid his normally fluid posture. She could see the slight quake in the hand that was stretched out towards her and she could feel her heart pounding just as his must be pounding.
This time she was determined she must answer, as surreal as this moment seemed to her, she had some inkling of the terror her silence must be inflicting.
"Eric, I -" Nell's voice came out more like a croak, and in frustration she paused, desperately trying to generate enough saliva to stop her tongue from feeling like it had doubled in size. The fraction of a second's delay felt like minutes before she was able to start again. "It's beautiful, Eric. I -"
Nell paused, a light blush staining her cheeks as she tried to find words to express just how much it meant to her. She didn't think she'd ever been given something so thoughtful - he'd even remembered that she'd always wanted to own something with real sapphires when she'd only ever mentioned it once in a weak moment.
"Thank-you." Nell said softly, trying to remember it was only for show and telling herself her racing heart was just because it had been a shock, nothing more.
With an unsteady hand, Nell reached for the ring, forcing herself to meet Eric's eyes.
"It's perfect, Eric."
Eric's smile stole what little remaining breath she had.
She forgot where she was. Forgot why they were doing this. Lost everything in that moment, except Eric standing in front of her, offering her a ring with a smile like he'd just been given rule over Camelot.
Neither of them spoke as Eric took her left hand in his, gently easing the ring past her knuckle to sit snugly at the hilt of her ring finger. It was warm, having been held tightly in his hand and a frisson of heat ran down her spine as it came to rest.
Nell wasn't sure how long they stood like that, hand in hand, looking into one another's eyes but it was Nell who moved first. Lacing her fingers through his she took the two steps forward and wrapped her other arm around him in a one-arm hug. For a moment Eric had frozen as though he was trapped between a pair of high powered lasers but when Nell laid her head on his chest she could feel him relaxing, his free arm moving to rest on her lower back while he ever so gently squeezed the hand he held. And for the first time since agreeing to the scheme Nell thought that they might actually manage to pull this off.
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. .:. .. .: The Present :. .. .:. .
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Turning from the basin, Nell knelt down next to the figure curled up in the corner of two bench seats.
They'd given her a mild sedative on the ambulance ride to the hospital having checked there was no physical trauma. They said it would help her recover from the stress but Nell wondered if they had really just wanted to stop her screaming and needing to be restrained as they worked tirelessly on Eric. Nell was glad she'd had Bethany to hold onto once the Paramedics had taken over.
Bethany's unfiltered expression of fear and distress was strangely cathartic and clinging together somehow made up for the fact she wasn't able to hold on to Eric. Nell could still hear Bethany's anguished cries echoing in her head; "I love you Daddy. I love you. Don't die Daddy."
It was almost as though Bethany had been crying and raging for both of them, allowing Nell to push down her own fears and try and plan the next steps.
As Nell gently scooped her up into her arms she felt Bethany stir slightly and knew time was running out to get them somewhere safe. Once she woke up Nell would have to face all the questions she wasn't sure she could cope with yet.
She tried to work quickly, knowing this would be easier if she could get her changed before Bethany woke up but she felt clumsy and slow. Steeling herself Nell unclipped the clasp on the little white shoes Bethany had insisted on wearing every day to school and gently pulled them off her feet, setting them beside the bag of clothes Hetty had hidden for them. Nell's ice-cold fingers battled with the minute zip on Bethany's blue and white checked dress for what seemed like an age before it finally gave way. Quickly she slipped it up and over her head, replacing it with the little black button down shirt. Instead of traditional buttons it had a set of press-studs which echoed like firecrackers as she snapped each one shut, it that had her biting her lip remembering - NO!
She couldn't let herself think about that.
That was then and this is now. The future was the only thing that mattered.
Quickly she pulled on little blue jeans and fitted the surprisingly beat up pair of black and grey trainers onto Bethany's feet. Delving into the bag Nell pulled the last two items from the bag marked C for Chloe; pointedly ignoring the M she could see at the bottom of the kit. The first was a plain black ball cap. The second was a short, mousy brown wig. Trying not to jostle Bethany any more than absolutely necessary Nell piled Bethany's long blond hair up on top of her head, securing it with a sophisticated hairnet before attaching the wig which completed the transformation of her gorgeous little girl into a somewhat scruffy little boy whose seemingly plain black shirt had Darth Vader's helmet printed in black gloss ink in such a way that you could only see it when the light caught it from the side. Maybe one day she'd ask Hetty if they made it in grown up sizes, Eric would have loved it.
Giving her head a firm shake Nell turned her attention to the bag marked 'S' for Sally. She was pleased to find sensibly flat knee high black boots she could run in on top and the casual skinny jeans and college sweatshirt underneath to help her blend in as just another college age nanny and the little boy she looked after. Nell scraped her hair back into a messy ponytail, applied what she'd otherwise consider to be a little bit too much makeup and started transferring the bare essentials from her handbag to the shoulder bag which would come with her from here onwards. The wallet in the shoulder bag was already stocked with cash ID and credit cards but she quickly transferred the safety deposit key, coordinates of emergency supplies (disguised as a contact list for loss or theft of credit cards), her mini first aid kit and what looked like a simple pager but was actually an emergency beacon.
Pulling out some modified wet wipes Nell quickly smeared the prints on every surface she and Bethany had touched and other key areas they hadn't, making it look as though the cleaner had done a cursory but extremely ineffectual clean. She then forged the cleaner's handwriting on the cleaning log, altering the most recent entry so it recorded the clean as though it would been done in 10 minutes time rather than 20 minutes before they arrived.
Nell stuffed her original handbag into the now mostly empty kit Hetty had prepared, put the whole lot back into the rented locker and shut the little metal door, which locked in a series of clunks and beeps followed by a silence of ominous finality.
Shaking her head to clear it of such useless thoughts Nell slung her bag over one shoulder and scooped Bethany up to sit on her other hip. Affecting a nonchalance she didn't feel Nell walked away from the gas station with an air of aimlessness, heading for the car that was stashed a mile away in a rented garage.
Their cover had been blown and before they had a chance to think about putting their backup plan in place they'd been attacked. Nell suppressed the urge to dissolve into hysterics at the thought of Eric lying on their front lawn blood pouring from the wound in his abdomen. She and Bethany had to focus on hiding and staying hidden now or the coroner might be in for some overtime pay in the near future.