The morgue was dark, but the small bit of light from the open door behind her bounced off of the metallic surfaces, illuminating the room enough so that Jane could just barely make out what was inside. She felt calm. Eerily calm. The door behind her shut, throwing the room into complete darkness.
"Jane," his voice came out as a song. "I was wondering when you would arrive. I was starting to get rather lonely."
Slowly, Jane eyes grew accustom to the darkness. She could see him, standing over a body, which was draped in a white sheet. She was confused. She expected to see him lying on the examiner's table. Or her. It was always just the two of them.
She took a step closer, seemingly unafraid. "Who is that?"
Jane's eyes focused on the body. Had he hurt another girl? The only small silver lining in these terrible nightmares was that Hoyt only hurt her. She didn't have to worry about other innocent lives. She was quite sure she wouldn't be able to handle it.
"Why she's the reason you're here, isn't she?"
Jane took a step closer, her protective instinct masking her fear.
"Is it that woman? The one who was in the basement from that night?"
Hoyt chuckled. "No, no. I've set my sights bigger, you see. Jane, you're all I care about. I don't have any need to find others when you offer such delicious entertainment."
"Then who is she?"
"Jane?" the voice sounded far away, as if echoing from across the hall. The fear finally hit her. She knew that voice.
"Maura... Maura?"
Grabbing a hold of the white sheet with a sick smile on his face, Hoyt asked, "Would you like to see her?"
Jane's eyes fluttered upon. Hovering cautiously over her was Maura, who looked as if she'd seen a ghost.
"Are you alright?" Maura asked, swimming in and out of Jane's focus.
Jane blinked a few times, realizing that they still at her apartment. It was still the same night. She groggily pushed herself up into a sitting position, curling her knees up to her body.
Nodding, Jane reached over for her beer and took a sip before speaking.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep."
She watched Maura nervously examine her face.
"I've got to find a way to kick this," Jane said, her voice shaky, "It's going to start effecting my job. I'm afraid I'm going to start losing it. I might already be... All I want to do is sleep, but at the same time, I'm terrified to close my eyes."
Jane looked up to see Maura's eyebrows knit with concern.
Jane, rubbing her eyes, pleaded desperately, "C'mon I know you've read some study about it. I'll try anything."
Maura finally felt like she was on solid ground. She was terrible with feelings, but research she could handle.
"Well, many recommend repeating a mantra before bed. 'No bad dreams, No bad dreams.' This should prevent the dreams from occurring, though it wouldn't be a long-term solution. They may manifest themselves in other capacities. Most studies recommend letting the dream play out in order to resolve the issue. If it continues to stop right at the same moment, you have to allow your subconscious to communicate whatever it is that you're repressing. Does it always stop at the same spot?"
Shaking her head, Jane replied, "No. It's not always the same dream. But the theme is always the same. Whether I'm lying down or he is, he's still the one in control. I'm always helpless. I hate it."
Maura, lost in thought, said under her breath, "Perhaps lucid dreaming..."
Catching Jane curious look, Maura explained that lucid dreaming allows a person to remain conscious while dreaming.
"Ohh like Inception?"
"Well there are some similarities, I suppose. Except that you're only capable of 'incepting' your own dreams."
Jane nodded, pretending to understand.
"You should prepare how you'd like the dream to play out. Think about what will go differently."
Jane considered what she wanted. This dream was different than the others, however.
"I wasn't scared this time."
"No?"
Jane shook her head. "I'm not sure why. I should have been, but this time there was more on the line. It wasn't just me and Hoyt. There was someone I needed to protect." Jane paused, unsure if she wanted to tell Maura that it was her. She hadn't had time to process what it meant. What was her subconscious trying to tell her?
Maura watched Jane hesitate. She was weary of reaching out, knowing that she was only opening herself up for more pain, but seeing Jane so confused and vulnerable made her throw caution to the wind.
"I know that you want to be strong. And that you're good at it," she paused, taking a deep breath, "I understand that it's important to show, especially among our colleagues, but you don't have to do that with me. You can let your guard down. You can let me in."
Jane was taken aback by the frankness of Maura's words. She watched Maura rearrange herself so that she was now facing towards Jane on the couch, her legs crossed in front of her.
"Did you know Hoyt's MO?" Jane asked.
Maura shook her head. The files were closed as his trial was still pending, and the department had been very weary of what to release to the public, in fear of creating a copycat. She had found some information online from the media circus the murders caused last summer, but was hesitant to believe all of it.
"I knew that he was methodical in his actions. He used a scalpel."
Nodding, Jane unfurled her legs. "He tries to illicit the greatest fear a person can feel. To be helpless while a loved one is in pain."
"Oh how awful. But you didn't fit that mold."
"No, he lured me in by planting evidence. He knew the most important relationship in my life was work. He called me soft for connecting with each victim so strongly, all while he tortured a woman in the basement of her own house."
Jane took a second to pause, fearing her voice would crack. She hadn't spoken of the attack since reporting it to the crime scene officer that night. She never wanted to talk about it, no matter how often her mother insisted it would be good for her. But Maura was so earnest. She never imposed. It surprised Jane how good it felt to have someone understand what she went through. It was cathartic.
"I eventually persuaded him to leave the girl and come after me instead. I had kicked away my gun earlier, but I thought I could still take him down. He's not big, you know? But he had a taser with him. I should have expected it, but I wasn't thinking clearly."
"Surely you don't blame yourself for all of that?"
"I played right into his hands. I blame myself for everything. I was so careless."
"Jane," Maura urged, scooting closer on the couch, "everything you did was out of the kindness of your heart. You saved that young woman."
"I didn't save anyone. Korsak rescued the both of us."
"You convinced him to turn his attention towards you, saving a woman you'd never met before," Maura argued back. "Don't discredit that. You have no idea how few people would do what you did. You're a hero."
Jane finally let a tear escape. She tried to quickly catch it with the back of her hand, but it was too late.
"Maura, he's everywhere. All I did was expose my weakness to him. I gave him all the information he needed to use against me."
"He's locked away in a maximum security prison. You'll never have to worry about him again. He can't get to you, Jane." Maura reached forward and tentatively placed her hand on Jane's leg. "You're safe."
Jane stared down at Maura's hand on her leg. She couldn't explain it. She could never feel safe. It was as if Hoyt was always nearby. Always scheming. Still, Maura's sweet words were comforting. Jane wrapped her hand around Maura's and gave her a weak smile.
"Thanks."
They stayed like that for a while, Maura's hand in Jane's, resting on her leg. Jane closed her eyes, and eventually felt Maura shift along the couch. She snuck a glance to see that Maura was resting her head along the couch, eyes closed. Her head was inches from Jane's shoulder. Jane found herself hoping Maura's head would fall just a few more inches.
Why?
Jane brushed off the feeling, chalking it up to her dream. She wanted to make sure she was there for Maura. Though Maura might insist that Jane didn't need to be strong for her, she wanted to. She had to protect her.
Jane could barely make out the time on the clock. 12:30. Should she wake Maura up and drive her home? Should she invite her to spend the night?
Right as she reasoned that she should probably take her home, the doctor's head fell upon her shoulder. It felt nice. Jane closed her eyes, repeating the mantra. No bad dreams. No bad dreams. She didn't have the energy to tackle the dreams tonight, but a dreamless sleep with Maura at her side was more than enough for tonight.
Maura stirred, feeling a sharp pain in her neck. She opened her eyes and for a moment grew concerned as to her surroundings. This wasn't her apartment.
She stiffened as she felt a soft breath tickle the hair near her temple. She was at Jane's. They had fallen asleep together on the couch. Maura chided herself for letting this happening. Last night she was on a date for the sole purpose of getting over Jane, and now here she was, head resting against Jane's shoulder.
She tried to think back. How did she let this happen? She had felt honored that Jane had confessed what had happened the night of the attack. She was proud that Jane had confided in her. Maura turned ever so slightly to look at Jane's face. She was so beautiful. It was unreal. Not a lick of makeup on her, and she was still the most gorgeous person Maura had ever met.
Maura realized that the weight across her back and shoulder was Jane's left arm. She knew she should get up. She knew she should probably creep out and not say anything, but her body betrayed her. The soft weight of Jane's arm made her rest her head back along Jane's shoulder. Unfortunately, the movement caused Jane to wake up. Maura quickly shut her eyes, feigning sleep.
Jane's arm slid out from behind her head.
"Hey," Jane said softly.
Maura turned her head towards her, her face only inches from Jane's. She found Jane smiling, and she couldn't help but smile back.
"Hi," Maura replied, throwing her hair out of her face. "I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep."
Jane laughed. "Don't apologize. Oddly enough, that was the best night's sleep I've had in months."
Jane yawned loudly and stretched her arms over her head. It was the most beautiful thing Maura had ever seen.
"Want to go to breakfast before I drop you off? That way we don't have to treat this like a one night stand."
Maura let out a high pitched laugh at the joke, eliciting a strange look from Jane. Shaking her head, Jane laughed at her and used Maura's knee to prop herself off the couch. Maura attempted to hide her smile as Jane put out her hand to help Maura up.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much to all of the followers. Honestly I'm insanely shocked at how many of you are willing to tag along on this journey. Thank you! Can't believe I've hit ten chapters already. I've got my sights set on some big movement in the next chapter or so, so I hope you're all ready!