okies...dedicated to WRW this time as she gave me back a little confidence and beta'd for me :) ta x

ps ... please dont throw things at me thank x

"It's been a good year for the roses
And many blooms still linger there
Funny, I don't even care
And when you turn to walk away
As the door behind you closes
The only thing I know to say
It's been a good year for the roses"

Lorrie Morgan

Harry braced himself, closing his eyes and tensing his muscles against the pain. His eyes flicked open as he heard a groan. It didn't come from him. Johnston had dropped to the floor, his back and the walls splattered with blood. Harry lifted his gaze and saw Malcolm pointing the gun in his attackers direction, arms out straight, legs apart, eyes closed.

"Malcolm," Harry breathed.

Malcolm opened his eyes, gulping at the scene before him. "I killed him."

Harry nodded. "Thank you"

"What for?"

"You just saved my life"

"Right" Malcolm whispered.

Harry leant down to check Johnston's pulse, and nodded to Malcolm. "Ruth and Adam need us. But first we need to move this, can you take his legs?" Malcolm took the dead wait of his legs as Harry picked him up by the shoulders. They staggered to the lifts, glad Adam had cleared the hotel. The last thing they needed was to be seen dragging a dead man through the building. They reached their room a few minutes later and laid Johnston on the bed, face down then covered him with another sheet.

"Right, you go and find Adam, make sure he's ok. If he isn't red flash me and phone an ambulance." Harry said steadying a shaking Malcolm by placing his hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to see Ruth"

"Harry…" Malcolm trailed off. He didn't want to tell Harry what he heard but he didn't want him to go in to the room and find her like that.

"Malcolm?" Harry didn't like his tone. Malcolm's eyes dropped to the floor. "What's wrong?"

"I heard Johnston talking to her; he said "if she were alive" I think he gave her something…." He didn't have a chance to finish, Harry had bolted out of the room half way through Malcolm's sentence.

Harry was out side the other room before he had heard all of what Malcolm had said. Ruth couldn't be dead. He couldn't have killed her. He wouldn't. Would he? Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. His hand went instinctively for the door handle, he turned it already knowing it would be locked. He reached into his pocket taking out a lock pick, a habit he picked up in his early field work days, he always carried it. He slowly inserted it into the lock, trying to find the nooks and crannies. Malcolm appeared at his side.

"Here, let me" he said taking the little piece of metal from him. A few seconds later the door sprung open a little. Both men stood stock still. The anticipation of what they might find inside too much. Malcolm moved to push the door open but stopped as Harry's hand met his. "I should do this. You go and find Adam" Malcolm nodded and turned to leave.

Harry pushed the door slightly just enough to survey a little of the room. A little at a time. He could see her shoes at the edge of the bed and a towel flung on the floor. He pushed it further, now he could see part of the bed, a hand and a foot, bruises and blood. He held his breath as he pushed some more. She came fully into view now. Sprawled across the bed, shades of purple and blue coving her body, her red dress ripped from her frame. Her hair spread unceremoniously above her head, a strand or two covering her face. She wasn't moving. He watched her for a few seconds, she didn't look like she was breathing. He could feel tears prickling behind his eyes but quickly quashed them. He didn't cry, never. He took a step forward, he could see her properly now. Her body was bruised, her limbs limp. He held so much contempt for her before he had entered the room. He hated her, she had cheated on him, she had abused his trust more than any one before. She had been with another man when she was supposed to be faithful to him. But now seeing her so vulnerable, so lifeless, so dead. Dead. She was never coming back. He gulped. He couldn't comprehend a life without her. He had had to contemplate that at one point, the point that had lead to this terrible situation. He hadn't been able to do it then and certainly couldn't do it now. He had seen people go off the rails when a loved one died, he knew he would. He knew he couldn't carry on with out her, yet he should be able to. Even if she had come out of this alive he would have had to endure a life without her. There would have been no future in their relationship anyway, not after what she had done. She would have had to convince him he could trust her again, and Harry knew he wasn't an easy man to win round.

He was stood over the bed now and could see the full extent of her injuries. The bruises got worse the higher up her legs they were, there were scratches on her thighs and cuts over her chest. He could even see where he had been injecting her, using the same patch of skin had caused it to inflame. She was pale, paler than he had ever seen anyone, apart from her wounds. He sat on the edge of the bed, and moved the strands of hair from her face, praying she would flinch as he touched her. She didn't. Next he ran is finger up her arm, her skin was uneven; he ran his finger over her wrist, to her elbow then back down. He lingered at her wrist, it seemed smaller now. He took her hand in his, his other around her wrist. At first he thought he imagined it, he blinked in surprise and shook him self. Then he felt it again. A flicker beneath her skin. No. Yes. He felt it again, her pulse, it was defiantly a pulse. He pulled her up towards him so she was lying across his lap; he pushed his fingers to her neck. There was defiantly something there, a very slow pulse. She was still alive.

A sense of relief washed over him, he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. His heart had leapt when he felt it. He didn't have to live with out her, was all he could think.

He pulled out his mobile and dialled for an ambulance.

"Malcolm" he said into his mic "She's alive" he heard an equal let out of breath through his ear piece. "How's Adam?" Harry asked.

"He's alright, a bit concussed but he'll be fine"

"I've called for an ambulance. I'll contact you when its here and we can all go."

Harry cradled her in his arms, tears began to trickle down his face. He tried to remind himself that he didn't cry, but the tears just kept flowing. He couldn't believe how close he had come to losing her again. He never wanted her to die, he didn't want her not to always be around, not to walk the earth. Even if they couldn't make up, he would rather she were still there, alive than gone from the world all together.