Disclaimer: Maki Murakami owns these awesome characters, wish they were mine, but she's way cooler than me.
Chapter Ten
"What's your name?" Yuki asked politely. He took the book that was offered, and opened to the inner cover. Scribbling his signature on it, he wrote a small thanks to the customer, and repeated the process with everyone who handed him a book.
Three hours later, his shoulders hurt, he never wanted to see another pen in his lifetime, and he was sorely in need of a smoke. Standing up abruptly, regardless of the long line still waiting for his signature, he walked away from the table the bookshop had decked out especially for him. Escaping into the private lounge room they had made in the back of the shop. Not wasting any time, he lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, his eyes closed in bliss.
A few more drags and he was starting to feel normal. Reaching up, he loosened the tie and went to stare out the windows that showed the back of the building. He hated book tours. He was mad to have even suggested it. Shaking his head, he started at the sound of his phone buzzing against his hip. He pulled it out and stared at the caller ID. Tohma Seguchi. It wasn't disappointment that was stabbing at him; he tried to convince his mind. He'd been expecting Shuichi to call for a while now, and still there was nothing. Maybe he'd given Tohma the wrong number. Not that he'd ever call Tohma to ask, that would give that bastard too much leverage. No, maybe he could call the manager or the ever weepy Sakano.
Answering the phone, he exhaled smoke before he said, "What?"
"I'm actually used to your abrupt nature on the phone," Tohma said happily. "It doesn't sting anymore like it used to. How can you keep being this cold to people who love you?"
"Did you want something?" Yuki asked abruptly.
"I'm your brother in law, I don't need to have a reason to call you," Tohma said with a sigh.
"I'm going to hang up," Yuki warned.
"Shuichi needs you," Tohma said then. "Please call him."
Yuki stood still staring out the window at that comment. "What did you do?"
"I gave him your home number. He hasn't been able to get a hold of you."
"Fix your own mess," Yuki snarled and hang up. Throwing the phone on an overstuffed chair, he ran a hand through his hair. Damn Tohma and his games, he should never have trusted him to do what was right. A soft knock came on the door and the book store manager popped her head in.
"Mr. Yuki, it's time to get back," she said politely.
Nodding at her, he crashed his cigarette into an ashtray and followed her out. He didn't have time to worry about Tohma's self created problems. This was all Tohma's fault and he was going to have to fix it on his own.
The song was just finishing when Shuichi glanced up at the audience, and a poster caught his eye. Usually they were bright and written with markers cheerful declarations of love, or promise to be Bad Luck fans forever. Yet this poster was different. It was made with cuttings that were large enough to be visible from his position on the stage. Staring at it, he frowned as he read the words slowly.
"You're mine forever," he read quietly. The words send a cold shiver down his back, and that's when he heard it. A loud bang that filled his ears he found he couldn't move.
"Shuichi," Hiro screamed out behind him.
There was a clash of instruments, feedback from the microphone as it fell to the stage. Shuichi felt a body tackle into him, and then they were tumbling down to the carpeted stage. From there, confusion filled him. There was a lot of shouting, and people running around. Hiro was trying to get a hold of him, and Suguru was ordering someone to lift Shuichi up.
They were running off stage amid screams from the alarmed audience. Shuichi clutched onto K's white shirt as the man hurried him through back stage to a secure dressing room. Placing him on a couch, they all proceeded to check him for any harm.
"Shuichi, does anything hurt?" K demanded.
"Was he shot? There is no blood. That's a good sign right?" Hiro was saying. "Shuichi, why aren't you talking?"
"He's in shock." Suguru pulled K's roaming hands off Shuichi. "Give him some room to breath; he is going to pass out from shock if you keep this up."
Shuichi realized then that he was gasping continuously. Clutching at his chest, he closed his eyes and tried to take in deep breaths so that it didn't feel like he was lacking air.
"What the hell happened out there?" Hiro demanded pacing the length of the couch. "K, how did someone walk in with a gun?"
"I need to talk to the security team," K said standing up. His gaze moving over Shuichi with a worried frown, he shook his head. "Shuichi, I'm sorry for the scare. It shouldn't have happened."
"I saw him," Shuichi managed. "He was in the crowd holding a poster."
"Who," Hiro asked. "Do you mean the stalker?"
"Yes," Shuichi said quietly. "I saw him in the crowd. He's going to get me eventually. What did I ever do to him?"
"Stop thinking that way," Hiro said savagely. Kneeling by the couch, he grabbed on to Shuichi's shoulders and shook him fiercely. "You've done nothing wrong; he is just a sick bastard that needs to get caught soon. Now, stop thinking that way, and let's figure out a way to get out of this stadium. The faster we can get out of this town, the better it will be."
Shuichi stared into Hiro's eyes and the conviction in there was more than enough. He didn't have to worry too much. His best friend was here. Hiro always knew what to do. Suddenly the memory of a flashing golden gaze flitted in his mind, and he winced. Why couldn't he stop thinking about that guy?
"Come on," Hiro pulled him up. "Suguru, pass me his jacket, we'll change in the bus."
Shuichi stared down at his stage costume. It was flashy tonight and consisted of a white tank top that shone in the light and clung to his body, fitted matching pants that disappeared into knee length boots with white buckles lined on the outside. His hair was spiked up and his eyes were heavily done with eye shadow. Pulling on the coat that Suguru handed him, he closed his eyes and tried to calm down again. He couldn't even define the emotions going through him. They were beyond fear. The sound of that gunshot rang in his head over and over.
"Hey," Suguru said, wrapping an arm around his waist. "We've got you, in this."
Hiro wrapped his arm over Shuichi's shoulder. "Yeah, so don't worry. We've got your back. Come on, let's get out of here."
Earlier today, a gunman shot into the air at Bad Luck's concert causing instant panic as the lead singer Shuichi Shindou fell to the floor. It was feared that he was shot down by the unknown gunman, but reports released by NG records say that the singer is alive and well, but shaken. Police are investigating the incident, but there is no real evidence to lead to an arrest. Anyone who has information on the incident is urged to make a call to the hot line we will give you shortly.
Yuki stared at the footage on the screen; it was a confusing mass of events on the stage. One moment, Shuichi was holding on to the microphone staring into the crowd, the next, he was tackled down, and a sea of security men flooded the stage. All he could see was the glimpse of white, the network reran the scene over and over. Reaching for the remote control, he switched the television off.
Getting off the bed, abandoning the laptop he'd been typing carelessly; he grabbed his cell phone off the hotel dresser and dialed Tohma.
"What the hell is going on?" he demanded when Tohma picked up.
'With what," Tohma asked irritated. "I have a situation to deal with right now, is there a problem Eiri?"
"Is Shuichi okay?" Yuki demanded.
There was a pause and then Tohma answered. "Eiri, don't involve yourself in this. It has nothing to do with you. I think it best if you ignored it and concentrated on taking care of yourself."
"I will do what I want, so tell me if he's fine. Otherwise, I'll be forced to call Ryuichi Sakuma."
"You are such a child sometimes," Tohma said. "This is not the time to have a tiff with me. What Shuichi needs are his friends, not his lover."
"I'll call Mika then," Yuki said with such finality, Tohma couldn't help his gasp.
"He's in Tokyo," Tohma said quietly. "I'll text you the details."
"Thanks," Yuki said and hang up.
"I can't," Shuichi said with a shake of his head. "I can't do it. I can't get on the stage."
"Shu-chan," Hiro said with a sigh. "Please try and calm down."
They were at the Grand hotel in the penthouse suite rented for the band until the last three concerts were done. One of those concerts was to be held in four hours. Time was running out, and Shuichi was well aware that he couldn't get out of the apartment. Just the thought of facing a crowd of people made him nauseous.
"How can I calm down?" Shuichi asked pacing the length of the living area. He couldn't relax. Pain lanced through his head and he pressed a finger to his temple trying to ease it. Sleep had escaped some time during their journey back to Tokyo. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was that man and a gunshot, it was much safer to stay awake anyway.
"We can't cancel this concert," Hiro said quietly. There was regret in his voice, and Shuichi understood it, but he couldn't get passed the situation. "For the sake of public confidence, K says the concert has to go through. They all think you were injured and we're hiding it. We need this concert."
"I suggest you find a doppelganger," Shuichi said, giving up on pacing. He decided to go for the food cart that was standing beside a coffee table. He was hungry but nothing seemed to keep his interest enough to eat it.
Staring at the assorted foods on the tray, he picked up a cookie and took a small bite. He chewed on it slowly, and then placed the remaining piece back on the bowl the rest were. The taste wasn't right. Letting out a soft breath, he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.
"Is it that hard to get up and do what you've done for a year now?" Hiro asked with exasperation. "Shuichi, can't you even try for us?"
"No one tried to kill me before," Shuichi said quietly. "You try that for a second and see if you'll be able to get up on stage, Hiro. I need to rest. Please can we stop talking about this already?"
Shuichi threw himself on the couch and closed his eyes, shutting Hiro out. He was being difficult, but he couldn't help it. Getting up on that stage would mean freezing up every time he saw a shiny object in the audience. Just imagining it made him want to hide under a bed for a while.
"Shuichi," Hiro said, then sighed and stalked out of the penthouse.
Shuichi brought a hand up to his forehead, while his eyes remained closed. What he wouldn't do for a nap right now. His life was becoming so difficult; he didn't know how to live it anymore. He found peace and happiness on the stage but that was gone now. Fear had replaced that feeling. He didn't know who might try to kill him or why they would do it. What had he done to make someone hate him this much? Was he so unlovable? Even Yuki couldn't stand him for too long. Judging from the number of unanswered calls, Yuki certainly didn't want anything to do with him.
Turning to his side, he wasn't sure when the sobs started, they just wrecked through his body, making his body shudder like a ship in a turbulent storm. Tears came faster than he could dry them, so he gave up and instead allowed the pain to take over.
Yuki walked into the penthouse and dropped his suitcase and on the foyer. He pulled off the security identification card he'd needed to gain access to the top floor and placed it on the table closest to him. Unbuttoning the two top buttons on his shirt, he shrugged his jacket and looked around the elegant surroundings. Tohma certainly did not hold back when it came to luxury. The penthouse was probably setting him back thousands of yen per night.
Strolling through to the living room, he paused at the entrance when he saw the figure curled on the couch. Dressed all in black, he seemed like a wraith that might disappear in the elegant burgundy cushions of the couch he lay on. His black hair falling on the cushions seemed to have gotten longer in the past month. The sound of sobs filled the room and Shuichi's body shuddered.
Yuki rushed to his side and grabbed the slender shoulders so that he could turn him. The sight of the tear ravaged face took him aback which surprised him. He didn't think he would hate seeing those amethyst eyes filled with tears so much, but he did. What surprised him even more was the anger that filled those eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Shuichi demanded, his eyes filling with tears again. Shuichi sat up and pushed Yuki's hands away. "Don't touch me, how did you get in?"
"The door," Yuki answered not moving away from his position beside the couch. Shuichi had his feet curled under him on the couch, his body trembling with anger as he glared at him. The only thing that dampened that anger was the tears that still slid down his soft cheeks. "Is this what you're reduced to, Shuichi?"
"Shut up and leave," Shuichi said hysterically. "I don't need you or anyone, just go away."
"Don't be so childish," Yuki said pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket. He tried to wipe at Shuichi's face, but he got his hand slapped away for his efforts. "Look at you; you've truly lost your will to fight."
"Fuck you, Yuki," Shuichi said pushing at him away. "Who do you think you are? I don't know why you're here."
Yuki placed his hands on Shuichi's shoulders trying to get him to calm down, but Shuichi pushed them away. He tried to stand up but Yuki pressed a hand to his shoulders and restrained him.
"Calm down," Yuki said. "Sit still and calm down, you're just hurting yourself this way."
Shuichi gasped and pressed his hands to his face, the tears increased and streamed down his cheeks rapidly. Yuki sighed and cupped Shuichi's face. His hands covering Shuichi's, he pulled the slender man's body closer to him and hugged him hard. Pressing Shuichi's face into his shoulders he sank his fingers into Shuichi's hair and held on as the younger man seemed to break and sobs filled the room, their force wrecking hard through Shuichi's slender frame.
Why was he here? Shuichi wondered as he cried harder. He didn't need Yuki to see him this way; there would be no coming back from this. How could he lose it in front of this man who he wanted to impress the most? Trying to breathe in and get a hold of his emotions, he tried to pull away from Yuki but he wouldn't let go.
"Let go," Shuichi said quietly. "Please just let me go, I can't take anymore. You being here will make it hurt more inside."
"I'm sorry," Yuki said quietly. "I'm sorry Shuichi."
"What are you sorry about? It's my fault for expecting more from this. I can't seem not to think about you, every time I called you this past month, I couldn't help hoping you'd answer. I just wanted to hear your voice. Even when that man almost shot me, all I could think about was you like a fool."
Yuki's embrace tightened and Shuichi took in a deep breath filled with Yuki's spicy scent. Yuki's warmth filled him up making him want to cling tightly to Yuki's shirt. It scared him how much this feeling was becoming so important to him. He wanted it to be a part of his life. Every day, every night, the tears stopped and he pulled back.
"Please don't," Shuichi said when Yuki moved to pull him back. "I'm begging you."
"Why not," Yuki asked. "You need me right now. You're breaking apart inside, Shuichi. I'm offering you my body to comfort you."
"I don't want it. I'd rather that bastard kill me," Shuichi said pulling his legs up to his chest and burying his face into his knees. Closing his eyes, he whispered. "Yuki, I can't have you how I want. Let me remain sane."
"Sanity is not easy to keep," Yuki said bitterly. Reaching up he touched Shuichi's hair. "You're scared to sing on stage because of what happened. The only way to fix it is to get back up there and do it. I'm here to distract you long enough not to think of it until you need to get on stage."
"How easy you make it sound," Shuichi said with a shake of his head.
"It is easy," Yuki replied. "I came here to make you a deal. You need me, and I need you to deal with some people who are on my case. Let's decide that I'll be your lover for as long as you need me and you'll be mine until I can sort out my pest problem."
"You're joking right now," Shuichi said with a chuckle.
Lifting his head, he stared into Yuki's golden gaze and cursed the effect those eyes had on his heart. "You think I need you that badly? To sell myself to you for the sake of not being afraid, what do you think I am?"
"You have issues, so do I; it's a good plan to help both of us." Yuki's reasoning was so sure, and cold it hurt. He craved the sound of Yuki's voice more than he could admit. He wanted to hear that voice purr heated words into his ear. He had missed Yuki's embraces so much that he was actually entertaining this idea. Both Hiro and Ryuichi would be on his case about this but it didn't even seem to matter. What would happen after the deal was over, he wondered. Would they just smile at each other and say, hey, it was good, see you later?
"Shuichi, make a decision," Yuki said. "I'll help you forget your fear. I'll make it so that you can get back on that stage."
He loved this man, Shuichi suddenly realized. Ryuichi was right. He was in love with this man and all Yuki wanted to give him was a stupid deal. He loved him and all Yuki was talking about-
Shuichi closed his eyes and then because he couldn't listen to Yuki anymore, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Yuki's. Was this making him more stupid than he already was? If this was the only way he could get Yuki, even though it was going to hurt more at the end, it would be better than nothing.