AN:This chapter contains one of my favorite ABBA songs that is included in the musical but not in the movie. One of Us. And my apologies in advance if the chapter upsets people again. Please don't hate me!:AN
Chapter 9 - S.O.S.
Juliet awoke screaming. Almost instantly someone was kneeling beside her and rubbing her shoulder with a comforting hand.
"Relax Juliet, it was just a nightmare."
She stared up at Matthew with confusion and then looked around her. She was in the courtyard!
"How?" she breathed and Matthew shrugged.
"You must have sleepwalked. Lucky thing you didn't get hurt going down all those stairs."
Juliet groaned and sat up.
"What time is it?"
"A little after 8." Matthew replied, still in his soft, soothing voice, "I was about to wake you up when you suddenly woke yourself up screaming."
Juliet groaned and rubbed her head again.
Matthew bit his lip and lowered his voice even more.
"Juliet, there's something I've been wanting to ask you..."
He was cut off by shutters banging open and Feliciano stuck his head out the window of his bedroom.
"What's going on? What happened? I heard screaming. Dios, Juliet! What are you doing up so early?! Were you the one screaming?!"
Juliet got up with Matthew's help and tried to wave her hand dismissively.
"Apparently I sleep-walked out here and I just woke up from a nightmare. But I'm fine now." she tried to assure both him and herself.
"Hang on, I'll be right down!" her papa shouted and then disappeared back inside again.
Juliet groaned and clutched at her head as Matthew helped her over to a chair and then continued to rub her shoulders until Feliciano arrived. His shirt was hanging open, but at least he had had the thought to put one on. He was still in short pajama bottoms as well.
"Thank you Mattie, I'll take it from here." He spoke quickly with a rushed smile to his young friend before he knelt down in front of his daughter and stared up at her with concerned eyes.
As soon as Matthew had left and gone back into the kitchen he spoke and stroked her cheek.
"Bambina, is something the matter? You seemed really out of sorts last night. Come, tell papa what's wrong."
Juliet felt tears in her eyes and she closed them as she moaned again.
"I think I've made a horrible mistake, papa. And now I don't know what to do."
"Oh bambina" Feliciano whispered softly and stood up to wrap his arms around his trembling girl, "You don't have to do anything. It's not too late to call off the wedding. I'll just explain to everyone..."
"Wait!" She gasped and pushed him away from her, "Call...call off the wedding?!"
"Isn't that the mistake you're talking about? Isn't that what you're wanting?" Feliciano asked in surprise at her reaction.
"No" Juliet shook her head violently, "No wait, that's what you want isn't it?!"
Feliciano took a breath and stammered, "N-No."
"Yes of course it is!" Juliet stood up abruptly and glared at him with her hands on her hips, "I'm getting married, not joining a convent! It's not like you'll never see me again!"
"Juliet, calm down." Feliciano pleaded and tried to hold her again but she was having none of it.
"God you just don't get it do you?! You never had a wedding of your own, so you don't know all the stress and excitement that comes with it!"
"Well I'm experiencing it now helping you with yours!" Feliciano suddenly snapped and glared back at her.
"But not in the same way! You skipped over the whole wedding thing and just did the baby thing! Well good for you!"
"I don't know why you're going off on me but I don't like it, young lady!" Feliciano shouted back at her, clenching his fists.
"Because...because I love Andrew more than anything in the world!"
"Great!" Feliciano snapped sarcastically.
"And I want to be with him!"
"Fine! Good for you!" Feliciano waved his hand and turned away.
"And I don't want my children growing up not knowing who their father is, because it's just crap!"
"You know I never wanted that either!" Feliciano whirled back but Juliet was already gone. Instead, Lovino and Arthur stood in the doorway to the villa in shock.
"That was quite something to watch." Lovino whispered as they came forward.
"So even you can get mad if pushed too far." Arthur laughed nervously.
"Oh god" Feliciano came over to the table and sat down abruptly, putting his head in his hands, "I have no idea what just happened. Why didn't I just let her talk instead of jumping to my own conclusions and making her so mad?"
"It is her wedding day." Lovino sighed and patted his brother's back, "Her emotions are running high. Don't take it personally."
"I can't help but" Feliciano sighed and looked at them seriously, "I shouldn't have kept the truth about her father a secret from her. Now I'm paying for that by having her mad at me on a day that should be happy."
"You didn't want her to be hurt like you were." Arthur reassured him. Then he took a breath and bit his lip, "You...do still feel the same about him right? Still angry and hurt?"
Feliciano groaned and shook his head in frustration.
"I was up tossing and turning practically all night trying to figure that out."
He sighed and looked down at his hands now clasped in his lap.
"I really should go talk to my daughter. Apologize for my assumptions and ask her what is really bothering her."
Lovino and Arthur looked at each other with a knowing glance before Lovino leaned down to his brother.
"Maybe before you try and help your daughter sort through her feelings, you should figure out your own." he whispered in Feliciano's ear. Then he and Arthur headed back inside the villa.
Feliciano snapped his head to stare after them before he let it fall into his hands once more. What Lovino had suggested he do was easier said than done. There were so many emotions raging in his head when he thought of Ludwig that he couldn't quite pinpoint a single one. He was certain that some surely to be mixed in the lot were desire, hatred, sorrow, and...most likely, love.
He knew that he had never stopped loving Ludwig for a single moment. He had still been in a corner of his heart when Juliet had come into his life to claim all the rest of it. But he had also known that he was a fool for feeling that way because Ludwig had surely forgotten all about him and was focused on his pack and new mate, and probably his own kids too. These thoughts always caused him pain and he clutched at his chest now. Why the hell was Ludwig here?! Having him in mind was easy to ignore, having him in flesh was much much harder.
What were Feliciano's feelings? Well if he just imagined Ludwig standing in his front doorway, he could surely sing them at the illusion. He stood up and faced the empty doorway, and instantly his mind created Ludwig perfectly and he at last put words to his emotions.
"They passed me by, all of those great romances. Because of your robbing me, of my rightful chances."
He had never been able to allow himself to fall in love again.
"My picture clear, everything seemed so easy."
For those several perfect days he had felt like the luckiest boy in the world.
"But then you dealt me the blow. One of us had to go. How you hurt me, I want you to know!"
He placed a hand over his heart and felt tears pricking at his eyes before he flung out his hands wide and stared determinedly at the Ludwig illusion.
"One of us is cryin'! One of us is lyin', in his lonely bed."
He tipped his head back and felt some tears slip down his cheeks.
"Staring at the ceiling, wishing he was somewhere else instead!"
Like wrapped tightly in Ludwig's arms with the knowledge that he would never be let go. He faced the front of the villa again and clutched at his heart once more.
"One of us is lonely! One of us is only, waiting for a call."
If Ludwig could only say the right thing then maybe...just maybe...
"Sorry for himself. Feeling stupid! Feeling small. Wishing you had never left at all."
Feliciano reached out a hand desperately and the vision faded from before his eyes.
"Never left at all." His whispery voice trailed away and suddenly Ludwig himself was in the doorway.
Feliciano gave a yelp and snatched his hand back, whirling away and frantically buttoning up his shirt while making for the kitchen door.
"Feliciano, wait!" Ludwig shouted and ran after him, grabbing his arm.
Feliciano tensed and froze, not daring to look at him.
"Feliciano...I need to talk to you."
"Well I don't have time to talk." Feliciano pulled his arms free, "I have a wedding to prepare for."
"That's one of the things I need to talk to you about." Ludwig sighed, "Why didn't you tell me it was your daughter getting married?"
Feliciano laughed a bit harshly.
"Because I didn't think it was any of your business."
"Well what is this Andrew kid like? Is he good enough for her?"
"That" Feliciano whirled around to glare at him, "Is also none of your business."
He made for the kitchen door and grabbed the handle.
"You don't think it's her father's business to know about the guy she's chosen to marry?" Ludwig spoke very softly, not looking at him.
Feliciano caught his breath and let his hand slip off the handle.
"You know." he didn't turn around to face him either, just leaned his head against the wood of the door, "Dios Ludwig, how do you know?"
"I used logic to figure it out. Feliciano..."
The young changeling felt the werewolf's presence behind him and a strong hand was placed over his own on the door.
"Why didn't you tell me yourself?"
Ludwig's voice sounded hurt and the nearness of it and his breath, and warmth from his body was making him start to lose control. He had to get out of here! But if he pushed the kitchen door open then Ludwig would surely just follow him. He would have to make him leave.
He turned around so he was facing the large werewolf and stared challengingly into his deep blue eyes.
"And what would you have done if I told you? Tried to convince us to postpone the wedding so that your pack could be involved? Your family? Your mate?"
"Feliciano..." Ludwig whispered and leaned his face down, "You've got it all wrong?"
And then he kissed him. It didn't last for very long, but it was still way longer than Feliciano wanted. He pushed the werewolf back and slipped under his arms, running for the center of the courtyard. He wiped his mouth and tried to force his body to stop trembling.
"Bastard!" He shouted and didn't turn around to see if Ludwig had followed him. He had, but still stood a few feet away.
"I'm sorry, Feliciano!" Ludwig gasped and covered his own mouth with a hand, "I couldn't stop myself. I just wanted...I-I just..."
He took a breath and let his voice carry out in a tune that he was sure Feliciano knew.
"Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find."
"Oh god" Feliciano breathed, "Stop singing."
"I try to reach for you, but you have closed your mind."
"No fair" Feliciano moaned and leaned his hands against the nearest chair for support, "You know I love your singing voice."
"What ever happened to our love? I wish I understood. It used to be so nice. It used to be so good."
"Until you went off and married someone else." Feliciano breathed and tried to force his body to stop reacting to Ludwig's voice.
"So when you're near me darling can't you hear me? S.O.S."
He took a step closer to Feliciano.
"The love you gave me, nothing else can save me. S.O.S."
Feliciano raised his head up and stared at the sparkling horizon of sea over the trees.
"When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?"
He stepped forward and tentatively placed a hand on Feliciano's shoulder.
"When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?"
He tried to take another step closer and put his other hand on Feliciano's shoulder, but Feliciano slipped out from under his grip again and walked a little ways away from him once more. The young changeling took several deep breaths in order to make his voice cooperate as he turned back to Ludwig with sad eyes.
"You seem so far away, though you are standing near."
He placed a hand over his heart and closed his eyes with a sad smile.
"You made me feel alive, but something died I fear."
He reopened his eyes and ran a hand through his hair with a nervous laugh.
"I really tried to make it out. I wish I understood. What happened to our love? It used to be so good."
Ludwig tried to walk toward him again but Feliciano put a hand up and shook his head, still with a sad smile.
"So when you're near me darling can you hear me? S.O.S."
He held out a hand to the side.
"The love you gave me, nothing else can save me. S.O.S."
He threw his other hand out to the side and closed his eyes once more.
"When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?"
He opened his eyes again but looked down at the ground as his hands slowly dropped to his sides again.
"When you're gone, though I try how can I carry on?"
"Feliciano..." Ludwig tried to step closer to him again but the other man held a single finger out and shook his head.
"If you don't want me to kick you off this island before our daughter's wedding then I suggest you don't try and come any closer at the moment."
Ludwig stopped and looked at him with sad eyes as well.
"Oh Feliciano" he whispered again and then joined his voice with the young changeling's.
"So when you're near me darling can't you hear me? S.O.S. And the love you gave me, nothing else can save me. S.O.S."
"When you're gone..." Feliciano sang at the top of his lungs.
"When you're gone..." Ludwig echoed him.
"How can I even try to go on?"
"When you're gone..." Feliciano sang loudly again.
"When you're gone..." This time Ludwig let his desperate voice ring out loudly as well.
"Though I try, how can I carry on?"
As their voices faded they just stared at each other for a few moments, before Feliciano took a deep breath and walked past him back into the villa.
This time Ludwig didn't try to stop him. He just stood staring straight ahead where the young man had been.
Feliciano quickly ran up the stairs in the hopes that the strain on his body would keep him from crying more than he already had that day. At last he came to a stop before the outer door to Juliet's room. He took several deep breaths to calm himself and was about to knock when he heard several girls' voices and giggling coming from within. It sounded like some wedding preparations were already underway.
He pulled his hand back and shook his head, not wanting to disturb Juliet if she was occupied. Instead he made for his own rooms next door and shut the door behind him with a definite click. Letting out a soft sigh as he slipped to the floor like the previous night.