I am a woman

~ Being a sexual transgender isn't easy, it is even harder when you are a sexual transgender in love. ~

Summary: Nanao Ise is a boy who turned into a girl at a young age. She has one more surgery to go before the change is completed. When she starts a new job and her boss falls in love with her and she falls in love with him Nanao is forced to make the decision to tell him the truth about her past..

Warning: Transgender!Nanao

Chapter 10: Counting the minutes

She is late for work. She sighed, but still doesn't get out of bed. Waking up this morning felt awful. All the memories flooded back in her mind. The dates, the kisses.. It feels so unreal now. But it was real. And it will be nothing more than a memory from now on. She needs to face him at work though. That's why she doesn't want to go. Maybe she should resign before he fires her.

After another few minutes passed and she had enough of the self-pitying and got out of bed. She should go to the office today to do her job. Otherwise he has a real reason to fire her.

It was already noon by the time she entered the office. She was nervous because he might be there. Glad he wasn't, she put down her stuff and started working on some files. In the beginning she got scared he might enter the office at any second. But as time passed by she got too engrossed in her work.

It wasn't until she put the last file away, she saw it was already 8 o'clock. Oh well, it was her own fault for showing up at work that late. What surprised her the most was that Shunsui didn't show up today. Regardless of their fight, she would expect him here to run his own business.

How desperately she wanted to see him. He should know the reasons why she hid it from him that long. She wronged him and she wanted to make it right. Not that she thinks they can ever be together again, he is probably disgusted with her. But maybe he can forgive her and she can get some closure.

If only she was a real woman, it would have been perfect. This pains her so much. But this is her future, she will be single forever. Never again will she open her heart to another man. It's too painful in the end.

She closed the office door behind her and realised she forgot to call Rangiku back. Maybe she will drop by this evening.

When she arrived at her best friend's house she didn't expect to be greeted by a huge pair of breasts. She backed away from her 'hug'.

"Rangiku, what is the meaning of this?" Nanao raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

"I'm glad you're alright, Nanao-chan. You never called me back, even today." Rangiku said letting Nanao in.

"I'm sorry about that." Nanao apologised.

"What happened, Nanao?" Rangiku asked.

"I think it's over." Nanao said softly.

"why?"

Nanao told Rangiku the whole story. From her confession to his reaction - or better the lack of it.

"He just walked out on you without saying anything?" Rangiku asked shocked. Nanao nodded. "What an imbecile." Rangiku said angrily. "Why are you not mad?"

"I understand, I basically lied to him this whole time." She said looking down.

"No Nanao, this isn't the same as lying. It's just something you don't tell on your first date. You should be angry at him for leaving you without even saying a thing."

Nanao shook her head. "I don't know what to do anymore. No guy will want to date a transgender, Rangiku."

"That doesn't change the fact that he's being a bastard. I didn't expect this from him. But trust me, there will be guys who don't mind."

"Not many guys. I should have never dated my boss."

"If I see him I will kick his ass. I can't believe he walked out on you. You're a catch, he's just too stupid to notice that. Trust me."

Nanao stayed at Rangiku's the rest of the night. They watched a movie and talked about a lot of things but avoided the subject boys. Nanao smiled again and she is glad to have Rangiku in her life. Rangiku never judged her about her sexuality. Even though she is not lucky in her love life, at least she has a good friend.

The next day she went to the office on time. She wanted him to be there but at the same thing she didn't. But she didn't expect him to be in the office this early.

He was sitting behind his desk, looking at some papers. Nanao wondered if she should walk out before he noticed her standing there.

"Are you going to stand there all day?" He said with a clipped voice.

Too late. She had to talk to him now. "What are you doing here so early in the morning?" A neutral question seemed the best way to start this off.

He looked up at her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Unless he shot a direct question back.

The best way to handle this was to be honest. She told herself she could do this. "I wanted to. But I had fallen in love with you and got scared you didn't want me anymore." Which happened, but she didn't see any reason to point that out.

He let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry I walked out on you. I have to admit I was a little freaked out." He stood up and walked towards her. "But yesterday I realised something. What I feel for you, I've never felt this way about someone before." He grabbed her hands. "I'm sorry, can you forgive me and give me another chance?"

Was she hearing this right? He is apologising to her? She thought she had to beg him for forgiveness. "I will forgive you, if you forgive me." She gave him a soft smile.

His own smile widened and he locked her lips with his.

Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate all the comments :) I'm sorry for the late update, especially since this story is almost done. Next chapter will be the final chapter.

Thanks for reading,

Life is to long.