A/N: Sorry but I fully expect that this is going to devolve into the Less Serious Adventures. I'll try to have actual plot in this one but I MAKE NO PROMISES

I'm re-posting this because version one was BAD

THE CHAPTER WAS BAD, AND I FEEL BAD

And now, Chapter 8, aka I Couldn't Keep Them Separated Anymore But Since It's Still Really Awkward I'm Not Sure What's Even Happening Anymore XD

"Back again?" Bones asked as he grabbed a medical tricorder.

"Yup. More tests. My Captain wanted to see exactly how I saved our collective asses." The Enterprise grinned smugly.

"He said something about monitoring you for long periods of time. I think he said something about another part of the test, but he mumbled it. "

McCoy sighed. "At this pont we'll have to dedicate a biobed to you like we did with Jim." He nodded at a small plaque on a nearby bed. The Enterprise raised an eyebrow.

"That was earned through years of stupidity, not a week of tests."

Bones chuckled. "True. Maybe just a brain wave monitor, then."

"Oh yeah, a little brass plaque just below the screen." They both laughed.

"So how long am I going to be here?" The Enterpise asked.

"Well, until I figure out how you're connected to the ship."

The Enterprise's face darkened for a moment. "Well," she said, "I forgot to mention a little cluster of nerves at the back of my brain. It's adormant telepathic node. It's sort of like the difference between two computers connecting through a cable or through a wireless signal; the ones with the cable are harder to detect remotely than a signal floating around. Even a dormant telepathic node acts to conduct my consciousness from myself into this human body."

Bones sighed and ran a medical tricorder over the back of her head. "Now. Why didn't this show up before?"

"You were looking for signs of telepathic action, not irregularities in my brain structure." She shrugged. "I created it to be inconspicuous."

McCoy fought the urge to hit his head against the wall. "And you couldn't've told us this sooner?" he grumbled.

"Er. Sorry." The Enterprise shrugged sheepishly.

"So, what's it like, being astarship?"

The Enterprise sighed and her eyes focused on a point about a foot below the ceiling.

"Oh no. I know that look."

"What look?" The Enterprise turned to McCoy.

"That's the same look Scotty gets when I ask him which pet project caused whatever injuries I'm treating."

"How is Scotty, anyways? I haven't seen him since- well,since my Cqptain walked in on us..."

McCoy dropped his hypo.

"What- Oh, no- we were talking in the Brig and he was on duty! Get your mind out of the gutter!" The Enterprise sputtered, laughing.

McCoy blinked a few times and picked up his hypo. "Sorry. I'm around Jim all day." He shook his head. "So, anyways-"

Something thudded against the Sickbay doors. A moment later, they opened to let in a flash of red, and Scotty was tripping over his own feet to get to the Enterprise's biobed.

"-Are he alright? I heard ye were in Sickbay, ye're nae hurt, are ye-?"

"Scotty!" the Enterprise laughed, reaching out to him. "I'm fine!"

"But lass, there were explosions and-" Scotty exhaled shakily.

"When haven't there been explosions?" The starship asked, taking his hand.

"Aye, but..." Scotty didn't get to finish his thought as the Enterprise turned and almost threw herself into his arms. Scotty wrapped his arms around her back and rested his chin on her shoulder.

Behind them, Bones glanced up from his tricorder. "Oh, no, you don't," he growled. "Out!"

The Enterprise and Scotty turned to look at McCoy.

"I mean out!" the doctor said, pointing to the door. "There will be no romance in my sickbay! Out!"

The starship and her Engineer fled, hand in hand.

"Jim, did you send Scotty down to Sickbay?" McCoy asked through the comm unit.

"Maybe," said Kirk.

"You damn matchmaker."

"I'm hardly making a match when they're already together!"

"You know what I mean! Dammit, Jim, this is Sickbay, not a candlelight dinner! I won't have them making eyes at each other-"

"Bones, Bones! Calm down. Just... Let them have time together. God knows Scotty deserves it, after all I put him through."

"After what you put us all through," McCoy grumbled.

"Bones, don't be sulky. It doesn't become a Starfleet officer."

"Shut up. It's not your Sickbay you've almost been awkward-ed out of."

"Why? What are they doing?"

"They were... hugging."

Jim snickered.

"It was... Really personal hugging."

"Do I have to separate them?"

"I already did, sort of." McCoy sighed.

"Did you find out how she controlled the Enterprise like that?"

"...I've got a good idea," Bones grumbled. "Can't I figure out the details later?"

"Sure." Kirk laughed. "Good luck."

"Gee, thanks. Sickbay out."

Spock entered as soon as he'd ended the call.

"Doctor."

"Spock. Whaddya want?" McCoy leaned against the wall.

"Jim sent me, for reasons unknown. He simply insisted."

"Well, sit down. I'll scan you and see if there's anything wrong." Bones got out a medical tricorder and ran it over the Vulcan.

"Hmm." Damn matchmaker, he thought again.

"Have you discovered something?"

"Yep."

"Do tell."

"Jim's a moron."

A/N: For the record, I DON'T EVEN. I HAVE NO IDEA OK?! And it's not actually going to be Spones but shh don't tell Kirk that...

Bonus! Chapter Summary!

Enteprise:*tackle-hug* SCOTTY I'M A HUMAN NOW

Scotty: My dreams have come true! *cries with joy*

Kirk: *tries to ship Spones*

McCoy:*forcefully rejects pairing* NOPE

Spock: What is even happening