Between the Action

Burning. Everything was burning. His skin, his eyes, every cut on his body screamed out. His muscles felt like they were slowly being torn. His skin felt like it was on fire, but he felt so cold. His hands were chained up. All he could do was watch as the Master took over the world. He felt so useless. He felt so wrong.

The Doctor had always said that he should hold on to the good things; concentrate on what made all this pain worth it. He thought of his team, of them smiling. Of Gwen's naivety, of Owen's sarcasm, of Toshiko's innocence, of Ianto.

Ianto.

He thought about Ianto's smile, as rare a thing as that was. The way those lips curved just so, telling him he'd said something stupid, or wonderful. It was beautiful. He thought of the Welshman's warm skin, the way it felt when he brushed against him. He thought of those stormy blue eyes, screaming something's wrong but it didn't matter because Jack was there and that made Ianto okay. But now he wasn't. He hadn't left so much as a note and it made him feel like the worst person on the planet. He had no idea how his leaving had effected Ianto. At this rate, he'd never even get to find out.

- - - - - - - - - X x X - - - - - - - - -

Ianto brushed his head against Jack's pillow soothingly. The smell was fading now. There was only so much Jack left on it. He hugged the pillow to his chest, breathing in as much of that smell as he could. He knew he'd regret it later when the smell finally died, but he was feeling greedy.

Jack had been gone for a few months now. It wasn't any easier. There was still a void. Well, not so much a void as a deep, gut wrenching hole in Ianto's chest. Jack visited him in his dreams, told him it would be okay and that he would be back soon. Ianto never once believed it. It hurt Jack that Ianto didn't. Ianto's guilt just got worse.

He slept in Jack's space every night, using the excuse of 'someone needs to be around in case the rift spits something out'. Really, he just stayed there because he hoped Jack would come back in the middle of the night. He hoped Jack would wake him up and tell him everything would be okay. He hoped Jack would just lay with him and keep him company.

- - - - - - - - - X x X - - - - - - - - -

Jack had his eyes closed; trying to keep his mind on the Welshman he had left behind. He heard that accent in his mind, telling him he was a bloody idiot for getting himself into this situation. He felt Ianto's arms around him, letting him know that everything was going to be okay, promising that everything would be okay.

He could almost smell the coffee as he imagined it, could almost taste Ianto's lips on his. He wanted nothing more than to open his eyes and see Ianto there, helping him out of his binds and pulling him into a hug. God, how he wanted a hug. Instead, he opened his eyes to see the Master grinning manically from the screen on the wall.

"What shall we do to you next Jack?"

Jack closed his eyes again, thinking about Ianto's head on his chest, hand tracing his stomach. Ianto didn't even realize when he did that. He remembered Ianto getting that one spot that tickled Jack. Jack had squirmed under the younger man's touch, unable to stop himself from grinning. Ianto had looked up at Jack, confused before he saw that grin. The Welshman had run his fingers along that spot again, experimentally and Jack had chuckled, unable to stop himself. This had caused Ianto to laugh, moving his hands along the area tauntingly. Jack flipped Ianto off of him, pinning him to the bed, staring into those eyes.

"Sorry." Ianto had murmured, barely a whisper.

Jack simply grinned, pressing a soft kiss to the younger man's lips.

"Why are you smiling?" The Master demanded and Jack was drawn away from the memory.

He didn't realize until the Master had said it but he was smiling. Nearly grinning, in fact. Jack knew the Doctor was right. The power of memories would help him keep his sanity. He just needed to remember what it was he was fighting for.

- - - - - - - - - X x X - - - - - - - - -

Ianto had to get up. He knew the others would be in soon, if they weren't already. He spoke into Jack's pillow; he had been doing that a lot lately. It soothed the ache in his chest, just a little bit.

"Please come back to me Jack." His voice cracked and he realized he was crying again, "I miss you. Do you miss me?" He closed his eyes, letting a few stray tears fall onto the pillow and he took in a heavy breath, "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was stupid and I hate myself for it." Clutching at the pillow like a lifeline he sighed sadly, "If you don't come back soon, I'm going to give up on you. You don't want that, do you?"

He looked at the empty space next to him and wiped his eyes, "Come back so I can hit you for being such a bloody idiot."

He checked himself in the mirror, composed himself and stepped out into the main hub when he decided he looked good enough to be considered 'fine'. Toshiko was already there and she smiled over at him, seeing through the mask. She ran over to him and pulled him into a strong hug.

"It'll be okay Ianto. He'll come back." She assured, sighing sadly, "And when he does I'll slap him one for making you feel this way."

Ianto smiled sadly at her, wiping away a few tears threatening to fall, "Thanks Tosh. Would you like a coffee?"

"That would be lovely." She smiled reassuringly.

Everything kept moving forward. It had to.

A/N: Okay, I think I'm done being mean to them now. Sorry for being so cruel.

Cheers,
Gabz
xx