To my one reader Emma: You weren't around the first time for the whole plot bunnies thing and it's a little difficult trying to explain, especially as they got shipped over to me from America and I then made them literal and put them into the story. You had to have been there. But I think you'll like them. Coz as you're about to find out they really really don't like Shane…
But I get the feeling this is the chapter you've been waiting for!
Shane suddenly jolted awake. He lay still for a moment, wondering what it was that had woken him.
There it was again! That sound! The sound which had woken him.
It was the sound of... was it… crunching?
Was there somebody chewing raw vegetables in his bedroom?
And the sound was getting progressively louder, as if it was being multiplied several times.
He leaned over to the side of the bed and peered onto his floor in the dim light.
But he couldn't see his floor at all. Because it was completely covered with bunnies, cute fluffy bunnies. Some brown, some grey, some white and some speckled. All with super soft fluffy tails and cute twitchy noses. They looked up at him from the carrots they were munching. Big cute eyes with huge pupils like Puss In Boots during his first appearance in Shrek.
Shane sat up and rubbed his eyes. He knew deep down this was a dream. His mom was a neat freak. There was no way there would ever be animals let loose on the carpet. But it seemed so real. He rubbed them harder but nothing changed.
He could have sworn the bunnies smiled at him. Obviously bunnies don't smile but they were just so darn cute that they looked like they were.
Maybe they were a gift. A very girlie gift but a gift nonetheless.
It had to be from Mercedes!
Suddenly the door to his bedroom opened. The bunnies started to file out of his room one by one with little skippy hops. As they reached the door they would turn round to glance at him before passing through, indicating that they wanted him to follow.
He rose from the bed and grabbed a t-shirt from the pile on his chair. He was already wearing sweatpants so all he needed was to slip into his sneakers once the bunnies had left enough floor space.
As he passed through his bedroom door he had to gasp at the sight before him. There was a steady stream of bunnies heading down the hall, down the staircase and out through his open front door.
He knew he had to follow them and he knew he had to get them all out of the house fast. If his mom saw any of this there'd be hell to pay!
As he passed through the front door the location changed. Suddenly they were in the locker room. Only in dreams could you walk through one door and end up in a completely different place! Missy was there in the corner wearing her Cheerios uniform. She smiled at him and blew kisses. Then she swung her hips suggestively while beckoning him over. He grinned to himself.
Hell yeah! This was going to be a VERY good dream!
But the more he stepped towards her, the more she seemed to fade. He tried to run towards her but that only made to room shift yet again.
Suddenly they were no longer in the locker room, they were out in the middle of the sports field. Missy was gone but the bunnies were still there surrounding him.
But somehow something was wrong.
Something was VERY wrong...
The bunnies were changing...
They were no longer cute and fluffy...
Shane was frozen to the spot, looking on in horror as the bunnies rose onto their hind legs. Before his eyes they started to grow, first taller, then more muscular, then finally their eyes started glowing angry red. The carrots they'd been munching no longer resembled food. They'd actually been nibbled down to sharp points. And they were all pointing at him!
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FREAKASS DREAM WAS THIS?
Then suddenly his legs were free and he was running, faster than he'd ever run before.
But something was still wrong. He felt too... light...
He turned around and saw that although he was running he could still see a version of himself stuck in the same spot that he'd been standing. The bunnies were poised with pointy carrots raised as he threw his arm over his face in a pathetic move to try and defend himself.
Then came the blood curdling scream.
He tried to run back, to help his other self, but his legs were like lead and despite using every ounce of his energy his progress was painfully slow.
By the time he reached his other self it was all over. The bunnies were gone and the sun had already started to rise.
He collapsed down next to his own lifeless form. It was curled up in a fetal position, trying to defend himself to the last, but to no avail. His body was skewered all over with carrots that had tips sharper than spears.
And all that was left of his assailants were a series of bloody paw prints, rapidly drying in the harsh light of the new day.
He tried to scream but no sound came out...
Shane woke up with a start, his breathing heavy and his pulse racing. His body was covered in sweat and he had to take a moment to regain himself.
After a few seconds he moved his head cautiously to the end of the bed and looked down at the floor. It was the same blue carpet that was always there. He wasn't sure what it was that he was expecting but he felt and overwhelming sense of relief nonetheless.
He looked over to his alarm clock. Ten minutes to go before the alarm would ring. Typical! Not enough time to go back to sleep.
To sleep... to sleep, perchance to dream...
And then it came flooding back to him. The dream.
What the hell was all that about?
He hadn't had a bad dream like that since he was in Junior High.
And why was this particular dream lingering?
He tried to shake off the thoughts as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed. Sunlight streaked through a gap in his curtains and he wiggled his toes for a moment as he contemplated going over to open the curtains or run straight in the shower.
He would have to tell Mercedes about his freakass dream. It was so weird. Maybe it was her fault. When they'd spoken the day before she'd told him how much she loved bunnies.
But somehow things had got twisted. Not only was it wrong for a guy like him to be having a dream about bunnies, he also was more than a little disturbed by the fact that they had killed him. Was Mercedes controlling the bunnies?
Did she somehow know about his trysts with Missy. It was none of her business. Girls like Missy were there just to fill a need. She was the one he was molding to be a keeper.
The feeling of foreboding stayed with him throughout the morning.
Mercedes had sent him a text to say that she didn't need a ride because she'd driven in early to work on a project, and despite hanging around her locker she didn't pitch up there at her usual time.
By lunchtime he was all set to send out a search party when he was distracted by a text.
"I've got to go babe."
Missy was leaning against his locker looking disappointed. "It's her isn't it!"
Shane didn't answer.
"As soon as she texts you always drop everything and go!" she whined.
"That's because she's my girl!" he replied simply.
"So what am I?" she whined.
He shrugged and said nothing, turning his back and starting to walk away. She wasn't indispensable. There was always more where she came from.
Within moments Artie had wheeled along side of him. "Did you just get a text from Mercedes?" he asked innocently.
Shane nodded.
"That's weird, so did I. She wants to meet in the rehearsal room. Something about a surprise she has for you."
Puck joined them at the next corner and Shane started to feel like he was being 'escorted' to meet Mercedes.
And something about the mischievous smile on Artie's face unnerved him just a little.
Shane followed the boys into the rehearsal room. "I can hear music!" He said.
"That'll be the fat lady singing," muttered Artie under his breath. Somehow, despite his lowered voice, Puck heard him. The mohawked teen grinned and they fist bumped behind Shane's back. They both knew that Mercedes wouldn't have been offended by that statement in this context.
Just for once in life, this actually was the right time and place…
I wish you well I hope you survive
I hope you live, oh baby, so I can watch you cry.
'Cause I know in time you'll see what you did to me
And you'll come running back. (But I'll be gone!)
I'm gonna rain on your parade No, I won't take it again
And I'll keep raining, raining, raining over you.
I'm gonna rain on your parade. No, I won't take it again.
And I'll keep raining, raining, raining over you.
Shane caught sight of Mercedes as she sang, backed up by Brittany and Santana. (A/N The words in brackets are them doing an exaggerated whisper added by yours truly!)
The fool was so caught up staring at her cleavage in her purple top that it didn't occur to him to listen to the actual words. It was too much effort considering he wasn't familiar with the song. She shot him a winning smile. Yep that top definitely rocked (he didn't know it was the same one she wore in New York the day she got together with Sam.) And yet something seemed slightly lacking with her outfit. Maybe it was because her hair scraped was back when he preferred it down…
And was it shorter again?
She caught his eye and smiled at him.
I pity the fools who believe in you
'Cause I know someday now, they'll see your colors too.
And if you see a smile, besides my face,
Know I'm doing good now, Since you've been erased.
'Cause I know in time you'll see what you did to me
And you'll come running back. (But I'm long gone!)
I'm gonna rain on your parade. No, I won't take it again.
And I'll keep raining, raining, raining over you.
She was moving now stepping forward and beckoning him towards her, the smile broadening. Only now did he start listening to the words. They were quite harsh but they in no way matched her smiley expression so he shrugged off any worried thoughts. She was probably rehearsing something.
I'm gonna rain on your parade. No, I won't take it again.
And I'll keep raining, raining, raining over you.
She had reached him now and she drew a finger along his chest the way Missy always did. Then she pulled him down into an embrace and began to whisper in his ear. He grinned in anticipation.
"Say goodbye to the cocoa babies sucker!"
"Uuraargh!" Before he had a chance to fully register what she had just said, he felt the excruciating pain of Mercedes' knee jabbed hard into his gonads!
As he doubled over in agony her clenched fist met his lowered jaw in the fiercest upper cut she could ever imagine giving. Growing up fighting with an older brother had so many advantages!
He hit the floor dazed, confused and in complete agony. He curled tight into a defensive fetal position, not unlike the one he'd taken up in his dream, unable to straighten out let alone get back up off the floor. "Why?" He barely had enough air in his lungs to force out the single syllable.
Mercedes simply looked at him calmly before stretching out her fingers and rubbing her sore knuckles. The expression on her face said she was surprised at how much the hit had hurt her own hand. She then pulled out her phone as she knelt down beside his shaking head. Holding the screen to his face she played the eight second clip that Artie had bluetoothed to her the afternoon before of the footage from the locker room.
He finally stopped writhing on the floor as he froze at the sight of it. "I can explain-"
"I'd say this is pretty self-explanatory!" Mercedes hissed, her voice barely above a whisper, "I would hit you some more, but I've got no desire to touch any part of you ever again knowing that skanky bitch's been all over you like a rash. But my friend Puck here had to endure some terrible sights and sounds in the locker room last night thanks to you, and who am I to deny his request to have a quiet little word with you about it! Plus his girl Lauren here has issues with guys who are too controlling over their girlfriends and try to alienate them from their real friends. She's dying to put you straight on a couple of things too!" She chuckled softly. "Artie will keep a look out to make sure you're not disturbed during your little conversation."
She turned to Lauren and handed her a cheap plastic disposable razor. "I'll let you do the honors with third eyebrow on his top lip. I've got skinnier fish to fry!"
With that she turned and headed to the door, flanked by Brittany and Santana. Just before she passed through it she spun around for the final word.
"Oh, and if any word gets out of what goes down in here, if my good friend - and did I mention ex-boyfriend - Puck faces even the slightest of repercussions, this little film clip will go viral. I'm sure your mom and Aunt Esther would love to see what their precious little Bubba is really like. Oh and while I'm at it, I might make sure it gets passed round to the pastor and some of the older church members too!" The massive smile broke out onto her face again. "Just so we clear about this!"
Then she spun on her heels and was gone.
Shane couldn't even reply because Lauren was already sitting on his chest and Puck was rolling up his sleeves…
Missy was exactly where Mercedes expected to find her. She was at her locker, using the mirror that she'd stuck inside her door to retouch her makeup. She was flanked by her other two cronies, who between them looked at if they only ever ate one square meal a month!
Mercedes wasted no time with pleasantries.
"We need to talk!"
Missy smiled. "So you're finally coming to me for advice! I've already given Shane some pointers and I'll be happy to give you some too!"
Mercedes shoved the skinny girl into the lockers for the second time in two days. "I already know what your skanky ass has already given Shane," she snarled, "but I still suggested he go to the STD clinic to make sure he gets the right antibiotic to clear it right up! Coz I know you're not even clever enough to use protection!"
Missy glared back at her, defiant. "It's not my fault you can't please your man. Throwing jealous accusations at me won't help you keep him!"
"He's the last person on this planet I want right now, or ever again. But now that I'm not wearing my grandma's earrings I'm more than ready to take you to task for all the shit you and your little friends have been throwing at me over the last few weeks!" She turned her head from Missy towards her two accomplices, their pathetic attempt at an 'unholy trinity'.
The two girls looked at Mercedes, her face filled with rage, flanked by Brittany who was head and shoulders taller than them, and Lima Heights Adjacent 'razor blades all up in my hair' Santana Lopez. All three seniors sharing equal expressions of displeasure and aggression.
It didn't take the girls long to make the wisest decision of their lives. They silently backed away to a safe distance.
Missy glared after them and shrugged. "I don't care about them!" She leaned forward and shoved Mercedes. "Just because you're fat doesn't mean you can fight!"
"Oh hell to the no you did not just insult me again to my face!"
Missy smirked and threw a punch. But it was weak and pathetic. Mercedes caught her wrist before it even connected. "I may be big but I'm still fast!"
She pushed Missy's fist back down and before the skinny girl had a chance to react, swung at her with a bitch slap so hard her head snapped to the side and she staggered back into the locker, knees weak. The sound of the slap's impact seemed to reverberate around the hallway and even Santana winced at it.
Mercedes stared down at her own stinging hand. Now both sides hurt like a bitch! She suddenly remembered why she didn't like fighting.
Before the winded Missy had a chance to regain herself, Mercedes grabbed her by the ponytail and forced her down to her knees. She used the ponytail to yank her head back and stare her down further. "You're in luck Missy. I really can't be bothered to beat you down today. Maybe it's because I've already sucker punched Shane. Or maybe it's because I'm actually starting to feel sorry for you. Deep down you already know never be able to satisfy a real man with your bony ass and pancake flat chest so you try to raise your self-esteem by allowing creeps to use you and screw you at will. But as much as I feel sorry for you, I also believe that actions have consequences. No amount of showers will be able to wash away the memory of that creep's body on you. And for what? To try and prove to yourself that you're better than me! Why? I never even set myself up as your competition!" Mercedes chuckled, "But don't worry, I'm tired of this now so I'll just leave you to work through whatever shit it is that you have running through your head."
Mercedes released the ponytail, shaking some of the hairs that had come loose in her hand away from herself in disgust.
"Anyway, I'm going to head off to the nurse to get something cold for my sore hand and knuckles before sending her over to try and patch up my ex-boyfriend. After that I'll think about sending her round to you. But in the meantime, Santana here is going to provide you with a long overdue lesson on what your actual position is here in this school, not your perceived one. And her friend Brittany? Well, she's always full of surprises and she has a great imagination! I'm just happy to leave her to it!"
And after fist bumps to both Santana and Brittany she headed down the hall, sashaying her hips at the other two Cheerios and feeling better than she had for the first time in weeks…
The song in this chapter is 'Rain On Your Parade' by Duffy.
The chapter of Mercedes and Shane is most definitely over and he's not going to feature again!