I'm back! I apologize for my extended absence. Here's a short chapter to get me back in the swing, more to follow soon!
J is for Joke
"Italian leather!" Rossi scoffs, taking his seat on the jet. "Haven't even had them a full week, and now this."
"I am so sorry," Emily replies, her voice serious. "I will have them cleaned, or replaced, or whatever you need. And if it's any consolation, we were expecting it to be Alvez to walk through the door first."
Cracking a smile, Rossi shakes his head, making it clear he no longer holds any anger. "You know, I thought once you two resolved all of that sexual tension you'd be too busy making eyes at each other to gang up on the rest of us anymore."
"Hey, that's not fair," JJ interjects, taking her own seat as she slides a mug of coffee across the table to Emily. "We were perfectly busy making eyes at each other all those years, too. It's actually freed up some time now that we don't have to pretend we aren't."
"You know it," Emily agrees, laughing.
"So what's the winner, then?" Matt asks. "In your history of pulling pranks, what's the best you've done?"
"The paint?" JJ asks, looking to Emily to confirm.
"Oh, c'mon," Rossi breaks in again. "Poor kid's not even here to defend himself."
Tara closes her book, moving to a closer seat along the side of the jet. "Alright, I don't think I've heard this one."
"Me neither," Luke adds. "What'd you do to poor Reid?"
"Well it was, what, 2011?" Emily asks, and JJ and Rossi both nod in confirmation. "JJ and I had both just rejoined the team and Spencer and Derek Morgan had this prank war going already so we kind of invited ourselves in on it."
"And we started prepping like, a week in advance," JJ takes over the story. "I had only been a profiler for a short time and everybody was so used to me being the liaison they didn't question why I had information they didn't, right? So I started talking about how they were going to be repainting in the bullpen, and they were going to start with trim and doors, and to watch out for wet paint signs and all that. So one day Spence gets to work, and Emily and I were there early of course, and we'd hung a sign on the door by the elevators that said 'Wet Paint, Use Other Door.'"
"And of course he's a by-the-book kind of guy," Emily continues, "even more then than he is now, so he bypasses that door and goes to the side door down the hall near Garcia's office and, sure enough, same sign. But he peeks through the door and he sees us in there, so we're miming to him that he has to go down to the fifth floor and then come up the stairs to the emergency exit, which, of course, we placed a sign on as well."
"So a few minutes later we see him come back up the elevator and he's just pacing in the hallway trying to figure out what to do," JJ laughs quietly. "And then Morgan comes in, talking on his phone, totally doesn't even notice the sign and walks right into the bullpen. And Spence is so confused – "
"After he screams 'wet paint' at the top of his longs in an effort to stop Morgan."
"Right. And he's all calculating how long it would take paint to dry given the temperature and humidity level."
"But the best part is, once he realized it was all a joke, he blamed Morgan for the whole thing!"
The rest of the team laughs, Tara pausing to ask,"So when did he realize it was actually you guys behind it?"
JJ and Emily exchange glances, but it's Rossi who answers. "Nearly a decade later, and the kid still has no clue."
"I don't believe you," Luke responds, skeptical.
"Swear to God," JJ answers. "He still brings it up to Morgan on occasion, and his vehement denials just spur Spence on even more."
Emily narrows her eyes, making eye contact with each of the newer agents on her team. "If any of you say a word, I will know and there will be consequences."
"She's joking," JJ is quick to reassure, patting her hand gently on Emily's knee. "Right, babe?"
"We'll let them wonder about that."
"She's joking," JJ affirms.
"So I'm assuming Spencer retaliated at Morgan for this?" Matt asks a moment later.
Rossi smirks, taking a drink from his glass before responding. "Ah, but that's the best part. Before he even got the chance, these two over here got hold of Morgan's phone."
"Oh no," Tara shakes her head, smiling. "What did you do?"
"It was brilliant, really," Emily answers. "He got distracted by some girl when we were out for drinks one night and left his phone at the table. I managed to figure out his passcode, and we set it up to autocorrect to 'gorilla' every time he typed 'girl.'"
JJ can't hold back her laughter. "So of course, on the next case, Garcia's being really short with him and he's moping around trying to figure out why. Turns out, she doesn't take too kindly to being referred to as "Baby Gorilla" repeatedly via text message."
"And let me guess," Luke speaks, breaking the team out of their laugher. "Morgan blamed Reid for the whole thing?"
"Nearly a decade later and he still has no idea," Rossi repeats.
"Damn," Tara leans forward, reaching her mug forward to clink against first JJ's, then Emily's. "That's what I call a power couple."
"A power couple," Emily smirks, sitting up a bit straighter as she grabs JJ's hand in hers. "I think I could get used to that."