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"Yagami-kun, please try to retain a little perspective. You've been unable to use the Death Note for approximately fifteen minutes and you're already despondent. It's unseemly."

"We've been confronted by a dangerous enemy," said Light, annoyed. "I think my reaction is proportionate."

"Why? This man is dangerous, but he has no idea who we are. Right now we are essentially safe."

"He declared war on Kira," said Light, patiently.

"There is that," L conceded.

"Right now what we need most of all is weaponry. Of some kind. We have Interpol on our side now, right? Can we borrow anything from them?"

"Interpol is a cooperative group of senior police officers," said L, flatly. "Not a standing army."

"You're saying it doesn't have any weapons."

"To the best of my knowledge, it does not own or deal in any type of firearms, no. We could conceivably obtain firearms from ordinary police officers, but I'd rather we didn't."

"What? Why?"

"I don't think you should have a gun," said L, simply. "It would not be good for you. No, I recommend we pursue this matter with our wits alone."

Light gave him a level look. "It has not escaped my notice that this quandary has made you considerably more cheerful."

L smiled. "I enjoy exercising my logical faculties. It is a good state to be in — the state of pursuing your interests with no weaponry besides your brain. It keeps you grounded in reality, it encourages you to see other people as equals, and it provides invaluable nourishment for your intellect. This is my ground state, and I encourage you to study it and enjoy its benefits."

"Thanks. You're too kind."

"In contrast, I did not enjoy sanctioning the murder of hundreds of people."

"Give it time. You get used to it."

"No. Already I see that your way of doing things is not for me. I am quite happy with our current predicament."

"A godlike being has declared his intention to execute us. What exactly would it take to make you unhappy with our situation?"

"I have dealt with godlike beings before."

"I'm flattered."

"I was not necessarily referring to you. I have encountered a surprising number of godlike beings in my career."

"Now you're trying to make me jealous. But all this talk of your intellectual preferences can't disguise the fact that we are facing an opponent we have no obvious way of defeating. We can't kill Palmer Eldritch, so what, in your ineffable wisdom, do you suggest we do about him, L?"

"What else?" said L, with a trace of a smile. "We are going to work for him."

Light regarded him. "I hope you mean that as some sort of joke."

"We agreed that we, as a pair, would take control of both Kira and Kira's opposition. We agreed that we would use the Death Note as you did in our world, but also establish ourselves as detectives on Kira's trail, as I did in our world. As far as I can see, Palmer Eldritch's appearance does not change anything. If we were to continue as we agreed, it would mean establishing an alliance with him, as he is now Kira's most prominent opponent."

"Can you see any flaw in that plan? Any at all?"

"The fact that it is extremely dangerous?"

"Precisely!"

"Any response to this predicament will inevitably be dangerous, Yagami-kun. This course of action is less dangerous in the long run, as it makes it more difficult for Palmer Eldritch to discover our hidden identity."

"Which of our many hidden identities are you referring to?"

"I mean our hidden identity as Kira. Presenting ourselves as detectives searching for Kira obscures the truth of the matter, as we discussed."

"I understand." Light sighed. "But I don't like this."

"I realize this means leaving your comfort zone."

"Don't taunt me."

"I am not taunting you. I am expressing sympathy. I realize you prefer to conduct your business at an arm's length, with the Death Note as your primary tool, and I sympathize with the confusion you must be experiencing."

"You're loving this. I can tell."

"As I said, I am happy with our current situation."

"I shouldn't be surprised, really," said Light sourly. "You have nothing to lose if Kira is caught, after all."

"Don't be facetious. Obviously our position is the same, as it has been stipulated that we play this game as a single player. If you die, I die. If you are endangered, I am endangered. I have not expressed any wish to part from you, since such a thing would be impossible. Please stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"Feeling sorry for myself."

"Repeating my words back to me will not change anything."

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just irritated that you would sling such a juvenile insult at me."

"I meant it as an observation, not an insult. In fact, it is my considered opinion that we waste too much time with insults and bickering. I, for one, would be happy to conduct our business without any bickering. I bear you no ill will, Light, and I do not wish to spend my waking hours trading insults with you."

"No ill will besides your intention to bring me to justice and witness my execution."

"I'm sure you have similar intentions towards me."

"Perish the thought."

"In any case, I would appreciate it if you would make your objection to my plan clear, rather than being purely disruptive."

Light smiled at him. "Since you asked so nicely, I'll give it a shot. My objection is that you're bringing us closer to Palmer Eldritch without any consideration for how we can actually fight him. My objection is that I am now facing an opponent who is somehow impossible to kill, and you don't seem to care."

"Impossible to kill? Why do you say that? All we know is that the Death Note cannot kill him. That doesn't mean the same is true of, say, an ordinary knife."

"A knife?" repeated Light, with casual disdain. "I don't stab people."

"If you want to kill him, you may have to."

"I have no experience with killing people in person, and I like it that way. Everything I did to disrupt your investigation was based on the power of the Note. Even if I could, I would never have just killed you with my bare hands. I'm not just a murderer. I have my pride."

"But you do want to kill him?"

"Absolutely."

L sighed. "It may be a moot point. He said he was a god. Perhaps he really cannot be killed in any way."

"Gods can be killed as well," said Light, without thinking.

L looked straight at him. "They can?"

"...Yes."

"Would you care to explain further?" said L, after another short silence.

"There is a method of killing Death Gods," said Light, reluctantly. "I found it out from Rem."

"Misa's Death God."

"Yes. That Rem."

"How did this subject arise?" prompted L, as if working through a series of internal notes. "Do you think this information was credible?"

"Rem knew a Death God who died this way. It seems credible."

"I see." L closed his eyes.

Light drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair. "It's not direct, like killing a human. It relies on a very exact circumstance, which the Death God itself can influence to some extent."

"And this circumstance is?"

"Love," said Light, watching L's reaction carefully. "A Death God dies if they use the Death Note to extend a human's lifespan, and the only reason they would do this is love. Their death, in that circumstance, is as exact and predictable as the death of any other person killed by the Note."

L was silent for a while. "This does not advance us much."

"No. I highly doubt that man is a Death God."

"I could conjecture a situation in which we profit by using this method to blackmail one of the Death Gods we already know."

"All the Death Gods we know are currently unavailable," said Light, marvelling at how close L's improvised plan was to the one that had come so close to killing him.

"This would also involve inducing one of those Death Gods to fall in love, which is highly problematic in of itself."

"Ryuk falling in love?" Light actually laughed, without any affectation. "Yet another impossible task. I'll add it to the list, shall I?"

"We have a list?" said L, uncertainly.

"A list of impossible tasks."

L gave him a very odd look. "Do we have a list of that description?"

"It's a joke, L. I was referring to the fact that our survival in this situation seems to rely on us being able to perform miracles."

"I see," said L, crabbily. "You were not sufficiently clear."

"No. Obviously not."

"I do have a sense of humor," L continued, without prompting. He was having a hard time hiding his irritation.

"I have never suggested otherwise," said Light, sunnily. "More tea?"

"I have enough tea currently."

Light yawned. "Is it too early for coffee?"

"I am not sure whether four in the morning would be considered early or late. It is something of a conundrum."

"It's not too early for me," said Light, getting up. "Let's get started on this Eldritch thing. We'll call it an early start."

END OF PART 10

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Three Stigmata Of Palmer Eldritch

AFTERWORD

Not that long, but not too short, either.

I am tired and exhausted, and stuff. X_x

Merry continuing-January!

-SHC