Jackie turned as she reached her door and watched Catherine drive away. She listened to her when she asked her to go inside, as much as she didn't want to. She knew she was vulnerable and if anything were to happen between them again, she wanted it to be genuine.
A few weeks later, as she was sitting in agony at her family Christmas party, she texted Catherine. They hadn't talked since that night, but Jackie wanted to make sure she was okay considering she knew no one here. Replying sooner than she expected her to, she made it sound like she had plans. Jackie was relieved to know she wasn't alone, she just wanted her to be happy. Near the end of break, Hannah drug her to a New Years Eve party despite her complaints. "Jacks, let's just be normal college kids for once."
Jackie thought about the last college party she attended, trying to "normal." The one where she ended up in bed with Zach after. Her face must have been giving off her hesitation because Hannah began to plead. "Fine!" she moaned. "But I'm just doing this for you."
Hannah squealed in delight, jumping up and down.
Within an hour at the party, Jackie was bombarded by drunk college students quizzing her about Neptune 26. Apparently being Tyler was more amusing when they were drunk, or they were just too shy to say anything during class, because God knows Jackie wasn't exactly swimming in friends. Knocking back a few shots with Hannah to subdue her annoyance, she found herself not being able to stop. Scared she might do something irrational that would end up on one of these kids cell phones or worst, the tabloids, she snuck her way up the steps, sliding into an empty bedroom that had yet to be occupied by drunk, horny coeds. She locked the door behind her and looked around at the room. So this is what a normal college student's room looked like. One wall was wallpapered with photos of groups of friends doing typical college things; attending football games, bonfires on the beach, drinking at bars. Jackie realized how much she was missing out on, but her appreciation of reconnecting with Hannah this year deepened. On the nightstand there were framed photos of who she assumed was the girl whose room this belonged to, and an attractive guy. They looked adorable and happy. It must be nice to have a carefree relationship out in the open like that. The closest thing to a picture of her and Catherine, were the tabloid photos that eventually got Catherine into trouble. Even then, it wasn't a happy memory to capture-Jackie upset after being punched in the face, Catherine yanking her into her house by her arm, unhappy that she was there to begin with. She winced thinking of the words they exchanged in the bathroom. Despite the ugliness at the end, she missed her. She couldn't get that night in the car out of her mind, how close they had come. She began hearing chanting downstairs, the ball must be dropping. She wouldn't find Hannah in time, and did not want to be anywhere near those drunk frat boys, so stayed put. When she heard everyone yell "Happy New Year!" She toasted to herself with the beer she had brought with her. Glancing at the picture of the happy couple in the frames, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket. She dialed *67 first to make her number unknown, a trick she had learned as a child at slumber parties. She just wanted to hear her voice.