Chapter 10: Birchwood – Friday, October 10

Lee came out of physical therapy on his own two feet - well almost. Push, squeak, shuffle was his new mode of transporting himself from place to place. By sheer grit, he'd graduated to a walker with wheels. The damn apparatus screeched as he propelled it forward. Push, squeak, shuffle. Push, squeak, shuffle. His sturdy Rockport shoes joined the cacophony of noises as he moved at a slow pace down the corridor toward his room.

He wasn't allowed to navigate the hallways by himself, but, ignoring the rules, he managed to fake out the physical therapist. By the time she realized he was missing, he'd be long gone.

"Oh, Mr. Stetson," called the startled voice of his doctor.

Lee turned a little abruptly and teetered in place, chagrined that Dr. Hollingsworth had to reach out a hand to steady him. My God, in his prime, the legendary Scarecrow had scaled the high rafters of a European castle, dangled by his fingers from a rung of a whirling helicopter, and stopped an enemy agent with a flying tackle. He'd never imagined being put out to pasture with other Agency retirees while still serving his country as a highly respected intelligence operative and section chief.

Apparently reluctant to trust his patient, the doctor kept a firm grip on Lee's arm. "Well, this is surprise, Mr. Stetson. You've made fine progress. Since you've finished with your physical therapy ahead of schedule, let's squeeze in your counseling session now."

"Whatever." Lee sighed heavily as the psychiatrist led him down the hall. With a push, squeak, shuffle, he continued his humiliating journey. When it finally ended inside the doctor's office, Lee gave the walker a shove and sent it careening into the wall. If he could have his way, he'd gladly shove the damn thing right over a cliff.

Easing his charge onto the sofa, Dr. Hollingsworth took an opposite seat. Then pulling a pack of "Life Savers" from his breast pocket, he held the roll of candies in the meaty palm of his hand. "Would you care for one?"

"NO," Lee replied with all the finesse of a snarling Rottweiler.

"Well, sir, I see you have some pent-up aggression. Maybe we can talk about your frustrations."

Lee glared at his doctor. "Why don't you talk, and I'll listen. You're the one with the memories, right?"

The psychiatrist offered a placating smile and took the lead. "Mrs. King told me your recollections are improving daily."

"Yeah," he said, letting down his guard at the mere mention of his devoted colleague. "Amanda will say something that will trigger a memory, but then the details only come to me in bits and pieces."

Dr. Hollingsworth peered at him over the top of his glasses. "You two have known each other for a long time."

"We first met in October 1983."

"So, were you introduced to Amanda when she came to work for the Agency?"

"No, not exactly." Lee grinned as the fortuitous event snapped into focus. "We accidentally met at the train station. I was on a case and running from some Russians. I needed to get rid of a package they wanted, so when Amanda passed me on the platform, I thrust it into her hands and told her to get on the train and give it to the man in the red hat."

"And she followed the orders of a total stranger?"

"Incredibly, she did." Lee shook his head, startled by the clarity of the memory. "However, Amanda didn't get rid of the package. The passenger car was filled with men in red hats. Consequently, I had to track her down and try to get the damn thing back. There was one glitch after another. With Amanda King involved, nothing was ever simple. In the end though, she figured out what the Russians were up to, and she saved my hide."

Even the doctor looked amazed. "And thus began the saga of Scarecrow and Mrs. King."

"Yeah, who would have guessed?" Lee couldn't help but laugh. "Amanda was a complete ditz, but a natural born intelligence agent."

"You were pretty proud of her?"

"Humph, at the time, I wanted her to go back to the suburbs and forget she ever met me. In my opinion, our encounter was just a fluke. Our two vastly different worlds intersected out of necessity, but once the case concluded, I never wanted to see her again."

"Obviously, it wasn't the end. She went on to become your partner."

"Yes, my superior, Billy Melrose, saw potential and kept her on as a civilian employee. To my initial dismay, he persisted in pairing us together. In time we became a solid team."

"Apparently you grew to be friends."

"Yeah, we did." Lee paused, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, already dreading where the train of thought may be heading. "Amanda told me yesterday that we became best friends. I don't remember forming such a tight bond. It's funny; I have some vivid memories of our first two years together, but then recollections of Amanda get very fuzzy."

"Do you think something changed in your relationship?"

Lee shrugged. "Like what?"

"Did you considering dating Amanda?"

"No, not that I can remember." The old Stetson defenses went on high alert. "Sometimes we went to dinner after a case, but the encounters were purely platonic."

Lee paused as flashes of a beautiful Amanda, dressed in a black evening gown, danced on the periphery of his mind. Nervously, he cleared his throat. "The very nature of our work meant we were constantly thrown together as a couple - dances at embassies, assignments in England, Germany and Austria. There was often some romantic setting that made it feel like we were dating."

"So, did you feel a sexual tension between the two of you?"

Lee balked, feeling damn sure he didn't want to lay bare such personal feelings. "You don't beat around the bush do you, Doc?" With no reply forthcoming, he weighed the dynamics of Scarecrow and Mrs. King. "Yeah, I was aware of a spark. However, with Amanda, there was no such thing as casual romance. While sometimes I detected some vibes, she was very discreet in my presence. And, too, I was more than happy to suppress any twinges of attraction."

Dr. Hollingsworth eyed him casually. "So, did you ever try to turn things up a notch?"

"Humph," Lee shook his head at the notion. "Take it from me, Doc, the proper Mrs. King had tunnel vision when it came to commitment and marriage. In her book, a trip to the bedroom must be preceded by a trip to the altar. Going undercover as a married couple was particularly difficult; Amanda didn't want to share a room, much less a bed. Once, when we pretended to be newlyweds, she asked me to have management send up a roll-away cot. On that exasperating occasion, rather than blow our cover, I ended up spending the night in the maid's closest."

The doctor smiled. "But, over time, did she ever let her guard down?"

Reluctant to say anymore, Lee ran nervous fingers over his short crop of hair. Why did shrinks have to concern themselves with personal business? With a heavy sigh, he continued. "Yesterday, Amanda admitted we became romantically involved at some point. I don't have any idea how that could have happened. She wasn't the type of woman I usually dated, and, I wasn't the kind of guy she could take home to her family. Besides, Amanda was my partner; we needed to keep our personal lives separate from our professional lives."

"What kind of women have you preferred over the years?"

Lee bent forward, his arms resting on his wide-spread knees as his mind dredged up more confidential information. "I gravitated toward women who wanted a good time with no strings attached."

"So, you didn't want a future with any of them?"

Lee merely grunted as old demons came to mind. "Unfortunately, when I was a young man, I dropped my defenses a couple of times and allowed myself to become emotionally involved. In both instances, the relationships ended in disaster."

Dr. Hollingsworth nodded, waiting patiently for Lee to resume his story.

Haunted by an overwhelming memory, Lee could barely say the words. "At the age of twenty-four, I became very close to a female colleague. Our relationship was on the verge of something more than friendship when the Agency recruited us for a special assignment." Pausing he cleared his throat and struggled to continue. "As it turned out, we had a mole in the network . . . and things went down hard. She was hit by enemy fire . . . and, ah, died in my arms." Shaking his head, Lee tried to block the unspeakable images. "It was the first time I ever saw someone killed like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I am, too. Dorothy was special." For a long moment, Lee averted his eyes, remembering his desperate efforts to breathe life back into her as she died in a field strewn with roses. Then struggling to push words passed the lump in his throat, he forced himself to share more of his tragic history.

"Unfortunately, my other emotional involvement was an even bigger mistake. I actually let myself fall in love and consider marrying a member of the KGB. Of course, at the time I didn't realize her connection, but she played me for a fool. She would have killed me, too, if Amanda hadn't wised up and removed the bullets from the Russian's gun."

"Amanda to the rescue again," the doctor said with amazement. "She always seems to be looking out for your best interests."

"Yeah," Lee said as a smile tugged at his lips. "She's apparently been a valuable friend and colleague over the years. The more I'm around her now, the more I realize how much I need her in my life."

Dr. Hollingsworth raised his brow, but chose not to comment further on the housewife turned spy. "So, you sometimes enjoy close friendships, but you ruled out marriage and children a long time ago."

"It was a smart decision," Lee said as he squared his shoulders in his own defense. "I couldn't see myself as a husband and father. At heart, I was a loner raised by a career military, bachelor uncle. The Colonel considered me his duty, much like one of the recruits. My parents died when I was five years old, so I had very few memories of family life."

"What do you remember about Amanda's family?"

"Not much. In the early days, she talked about her mother and two sons, but I only saw them through the kitchen window. After work, when I needed to discuss something with Amanda, I'd stand on her back patio and wait for her to come out and talk. It was written in stone that Lee Stetson would not meet Dotty West and the boys. For the safety of her family, we both felt it was best if I remained in the shadows."

"Well, apparently you did meet her family. Jamie and Phillip King brought you some furniture the other day, and I understand Amanda's mother and granddaughter stopped by to see you." The doctor smiled and shook his head. "Mrs. West did some major arm twisting to muscle her way into your room."

Lee laughed. "It seems pretty clear to me that no one should get on the wrong side of Mrs. West, but I still don't remember actually meeting her before yesterday. I don't recall meeting Phillip and Jamie either, but the guys certainly knew me when they showed up with the furniture and pictures. Apparently I was included in a number of family events." Lee shook his head in disbelief. "Hell, I don't remember any of the occasions."

"Obviously, you mean a lot to Amanda's family."

"Yes, I'm getting that impression. However, it makes no sense. On the one hand, she claims we became best friends, but, on the other hand, Amanda says she married again. Shouldn't her husband be her best friend?" Lee paused and shook his head at the incongruity. "I'm not the kind of guy who'd be comfortable hanging out with Amanda's family, especially if she had a husband and three more kids to add to the mix."

"Has she told you much about her husband?"

"Almost nothing," Lee said in a caustic tone. Balling his hands into fists, he fought down the jealousy that set his teeth on edge. Then taking a deep breath, he pressed on. "She only mentioned being separated from her husband. I don't know who the guy is and, at this point, I don't give a damn. I'm still reeling from the news that Amanda has two more sons and a daughter." He paused with a loud harrumph. "And why the hell does she still call herself Amanda King?"

The doctor waited patiently for Lee to compose himself. "It seems fair to surmise that only a special man should marry a woman with a ready-made family and a career in espionage."

"Damn right; Amanda's not a normal person. And apparently the guy couldn't take it, or he'd be living with the family."

"Okay, let's leave the husband out of the equation. Given your friendship with the King family, do you feel protective toward them?"

Lee bristled at the question. God, the shrink was blindsiding him at every turn. "Yeah, I've always felt protective of Amanda and her family. It's part of my nature to take care of people. Being a defender is what I'm all about."

Dr. Hollingsworth nodded, resting a hand on his cheek in a contemplative pose. "How would you feel if you were truly responsible for the King family, and then an assailant tried to use them to get to you?"

"I'd never forgive myself."

"I see," the doctor said, pausing for a beat. "And how would you feel if Amanda and her children were in grave danger because of your enemies, but, despite your best efforts, you couldn't save them?"

Lee slumped in his seat, repulsed by appalling visions - gunshots, kidnappings, explosions, crashes. Every possible scenario ran like a loop in his brain. "I'd gladly die in their place," he said as his hands began to shake uncontrollably. "They would be better off if they'd never met me."

"And would you be better off if you'd never met them?"

"Yes," he answered, choking on the word. "I can't bear to lose another person I truly care about."

Dr. Hollingsworth came to stand by Lee, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think we've covered a lot of ground today. Apparently we've touched a very painful nerve."

SMK, SMK, SMK

Lee missed lunch, but it was fine with him; he wasn't ready to see anyone, especially Fred Fielder. Thankfully, Amanda had a dentist appointment and hadn't shown up yet, even though it was almost three o'clock. The round of counseling had left him exhausted and depressed, so all he wanted to do was shut out the world.

Why the hell did the doctor have to drudge up emotions about his past relationships? God, there were valid reasons he chose the single life. So what if never married or had children. At least there was no one to worry about, no one to lose, and no one to mourn when life fell apart.

Stretching out on the bed and turning on his side, he kept his back toward the door. If anyone came in, he'd appear to be sleeping. Sure enough, not a half hour went by before he heard footsteps approaching his room. Shutting his eyes, he waited for the inevitable.

"This is the room," Dr. Hollingsworth said in his deep booming voice. "Good luck, boys. Remember what we talked about."

"Thanks," called the high pitched voice of a kid.

"We won't tell him," another child promised as if taking a sacred oath.

There was a soft knock on the door, followed by a long pause and a louder knock. Lee lay perfectly still, determined to ignore the visitors. Maybe they'd give up and go away.

No such luck. The door groaned on its hinges as someone pushed it open. Then rubber soled shoes squeaked across the linoleum.

"Is he awake?"

"I think he's sleeping."

Damn it. Lee held his breath, hoping the intruders would take the hint and leave. Dr. Hollingsworth must have pointed them to the wrong room and now the kids were mistaking him for someone else.

A finger poked him in the back. God, he couldn't believe the nerve. Then a body leaned over him, apparently listening to him breathe.

"I told you, he's asleep, bird brain."

"Well, let's go, dog breath. Mom's going to kill us if she finds out we're here."

"Yeah, but Grandma dropped us off. She'll fix things with Mom. Besides, the doctor said it was a good idea."

"Fine, we'll sit and wait." There was a mild scuffle as the two competed for the comfortable armchair. The loser could be heard stomping across the room to the molded plastic chair by the bed.

Great, just great, they're staying. Lee stifled a silent moan. Now who the hell were bird brain, dog breath, Grandma, and Mom? Still feigning sleep, he came to the only logical conclusion. These two kids had to be Amanda's twin sons. Good grief, he must know them pretty well, too.

"Maybe, he won't want to see us," a small voice whispered from across the room.

"Be quiet. If you wake him up, he really will be ticked. You know what a bear he is when someone disturbs his sleep."

Lee rolled over, more curious than angry. "Hello, guys."

"Da . . . ." The sandy haired kid jumped to his feet, all but stumbling over the untied shoelaces that dangled from high top sneakers. "Ah, hi," the boy managed to say, clasping nervous hands behind his back.

The dark haired kid hopped on the end of the bed, his skinny legs dangling from a pair of cargo shorts. Brushing long bangs from his eyes, the boy's intense brown eyes seemed to search for answers. "Do you know us?"

"Well, I figured out you must be Amanda's sons, but no, I'm afraid I don't remember you. A whole chunk of my memory is still missing in action." Lee watched as they exchanged glances, both appearing a bit disappointed. "But, hey, maybe you can help jog things a bit."

The bigger kid brightened immediately, flashing an irrepressible grin. "I'm Matt."

"And, I'm Robby," the smaller boy said, holding out his hand.

Lee accepted the handshake, scanning the familiar features. "You look just like your mom." Then turning to the brother, he noted the fair hair and eyes. "I suppose you look like your dad."

Matt's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Yeah, I do. I got his big hands and feet to prove it."

"And his temper," Robby added, poking his brother.

Lee grinned. "I've been told you're twins. How old are you?"

"Thirteen," Matt said, puffing out his chest with pride.

"Yeah," Robby added with a dimpled smile. "We just celebrated our birthday on the twelfth of August."

A strange sense of déjà vu washed over Lee, but the fleeting awareness eluded him. "So, tell me about the last thing we did together?"

"You don't remember?" Robby's eyes darkened with alarm as he shot his brother a wary glance. "I don't think we're allowed to talk about it."

"Oh?" Lee pinned the boys with a penetrating gaze, realizing he could probably coax the truth from them. "I guess you can't bend the rules, even a little."

"I don't mind breaking a rule or two - when it really matters." Matt ran a shaky hand through his hair, before taking a hesitant step forward. "You see, we were all together. . ."

Robby glared at his brother. "Matty, shut up."

"You, shut up."

"Guys, don't talk that way," Lee said, feeling like he was taking a page out of Amanda King's parenting book.

"Sorry." Matt grumbled. Squaring his shoulders he moved toward the bed with renewed determination. "The last time we were together, we were leaving Bar Harbor, Maine, and we stopped to take in the view from Cadillac Mountain."

"I traveled with your family?" Perplexed, Lee shook his head.

"Yeah, you were with all of us, even Phillip and Jamie and their wives and Mandy." Matt diverted his gaze, shooting his brother a guilty look. "I mean, why not? We're all pretty close."

"So it would seem," Lee said with amazement. "Then what happened?"

"We were headed home," Robby added, apparently ready to abandon his scruples. "We were in the van with you when it crashed."

"What?" Lee sat up quickly, feeling an immense stab of pain shoot through his body. "The doctors told me I was in an automobile accident, but they didn't say anyone was with me. My God, are you all right?"

"Now I am, but I did crack a couple of ribs and break my arm." Matt pushed up the sleeve of his over-sized polo shirt and pointed to his left forearm. "The cast came off last week, so I'm playing soccer again."

Robby held back his bangs, revealing a jagged pink scar. "I had eight stitches along the hairline." Then he pulled at the neck of his UVA sweatshirt. "Oh, and I broke my collarbone, too."

"And that's not all," Matt bragged as if sporting a badge of honor. "We both had concussions."

"Oh, boys, that's awful." Lee shook his head at their litany of injuries, already placing blame squarely on his own shoulders. Then staring passed Matty and Robby, his throat convulsed with horror as he tried to recall the momentous day.

Closing his eyes against a rush of emotion, a kaleidoscope of visions came to the fore, and forgotten memories pushed toward consciousness. In his mind's eye, he saw the first rays of sun peeking over a shimmering ocean, and he felt the biting wind assaulting his body while he stood on an unprotected mountaintop.

He wasn't alone in his revelation. Fuzzy figures took center stage in his mind - two young boys teasing each other mercilessly, a dark-haired girl storming off in anger, a slender woman pressing her frame against his body, two young couples exchanging jokes before climbing into vehicles, and a smiling baby girl waving good-bye from a parking lot.

My God, he pictured himself in the midst of Amanda's family, surrounded by their love and support. Was it true or just a fantasy? Before his brain could process the vision, the images began to fade from sight. Instead, danger threatened as he saw himself behind the wheel of a runaway vehicle. Immediately fear chilled his soul, and the fateful event came back in an overwhelming moment of perfect clarity.

Majestic scenery rushed past as he drove a silver minivan down a winding, steep mountain road. Picking up momentum, he applied the brakes, but the pedal wouldn't reduce the speed. Pumping his foot to the floor, he desperately tried to slow their descent.

Rounding a hairpin curve, the tires squealed and terrified screams erupted from the backseat. "Hang on, guys," he yelled to the boys. Clutching the wheel with a death grip, he laid on the horn, hoping to alert the other drivers. Weaving back and forth over the yellow line, on-coming cars swerved out of his way as he zigzagged over the roadway.

Frantically, he searched for a clearing of brush to slow the runaway van. Wherever he looked, he saw nothing but solid rock, dense trees, and steep mountain cliffs.

Suddenly, a large pick-up truck crossed the center line. In some macabre game of "chicken," the driver aimed his vehicle at the minivan. "Brace for impact," Lee yelled to the boys as both vehicles swerved, narrowly averting a head-on collision.

In desperation, he steered off the opposite side of the road. Lumbering across the shoulder and rough terrain, his vehicle skidded through the drive-through overlook and bounced over a slight rise.

The deafening cries of the kids roared in his ears as the van went airborne before slamming again onto the unforgiving earth. Still in motion, they careened toward the mountain's edge and a hopeless free fall. Out of options, Lee steered them toward a massive boulder, in a last ditch effort to stop their descent into the abyss.

With a bone-crushing jolt they crashed, the van's front passenger side crumbling on impact. Flashes of his lovely Agency partner passed before him as he flew out the driver side door and plunged toward oblivion.

"Aaaah," he yelled as the shocking images faded. "I remember." Shaking his head at the vivid recall, Lee kept his eyes averted while waiting for his labored breathing to slow. "God, I'm so sorry," he finally said to the boys as they stood like brave little soldiers, ready to serve in any way they could. "I can't believe Amanda's children nearly died on my watch."

Robby reached over, running a soothing hand along his arm, in a gesture so much like Amanda's mode of comfort. "It wasn't your fault."

"Nobody could have kept the car on the road as long as you did," Matt said, his voice thick with pride.

Gazing at the innocent faces of Amanda's sons, Lee felt his body tremble. Despite his firm resolve to hold past demons at bay, the old terror took hold, and festering emotional wounds reopened. Years of anxiety, sadness, and remorse spilled from his soul as he mourned the family and colleagues he'd lost. With his chest tightening like a vise, silent sobs shook his frame.

Immediately, the boys encircled him, throwing their arms around him with abandon. Robby's voice was laced with tears. "It's okay," he cried. "We're all okay."

"You're the best," Matt said, choking on the words. "Somehow you saved all of us from plunging over the cliff."

Lee hugged them close, cataloging the familiar scent and feel of their youthful bodies. My God, in the surreal moment of emotional agony, the boys seemed like they belonged to him.

Slowly they disengaged, and Lee held them at arms' length, really studying them for the first time – the sandy blonde and brunette hair, the hazel and brown eyes, the long fingers and the dimpled cheeks. Only Scarecrow and Mrs. King could produce twins with the distinct features and personalities of Matt and Robby. With the realization firmly in mind, more memories began the rush to consciousness – premature baby boys, precocious kindergartners, earnest cub scouts, and avid little leaguers. "Well, guys," he finally said, his voice rough with emotion. "I think I have you figured out."

"You do?" they asked in tandem, hope etched on their young faces.

Lee pointed at Matty. "You're Matthew Lee Stetson." And then he tagged Robby. "And you're Robert William Stetson. In my book, that makes you my sons."

"Dad," they cried as they flung themselves into his arms once again.

Squeezing them against his chest, Lee could scarcely believe his good fortune. He was a father. Then new questions hit him like a thunderbolt. Did he have a daughter, too? And, as incomprehensible as it seemed, could Amanda King actually be his wife?

As if on cue, he spied her standing in the doorway.

Studying him intently, Amanda's eyes locked with his. "Oh, Lee, you've recognized our sons," she said as tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks. "In my book, that makes you my husband."

Suddenly their wedding day and the birth of Jennifer Grace Stetson snapped into place. Twenty-one years of marriage flashed before him. "For all the days of our lives," he said as he remembered promises made and kept. Releasing the boys, he slid from the bed and braced his unsteady legs against the frame. Then taking a tentative step forward, he stretched out his waiting arms.

Amanda rushed across the room, her face radiant with unbridled joy.

Dissolving into each other's embrace, he buried his face against her neck. "God, I'm the luckiest man alive."

TBS