A/N: Here's Chapter 10 already. I'm so happy you guys like my story... Oh yeah. Should I put in the summary 'Sora bashing'? Do I dare? uhhh... is there even such a term like that? And then Namiku and Roxiri people out there... well, hi!
Summary: It's the little things that hurt the most. Between love and duty is a decision he will regret for the rest of his existence.
Disclaimer:If I owned Kingdom Hearts, obviously, it would have had a different plot. And Axel wouldn't look so much like an anorexic.
Axel: I am not anorexic you frickin' author!
Larxene: Oh yes you are, you're even sexier than me! dodges fire wheel
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X: Replacement
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Kairi stared down at the blob of something the cafeteria called lunch. She bit her lip to keep from laughing at Roxas' incessant muttering under his breath about cafeteria food.
It was lunch break at Destiny Academy, and their group had met (like always) to eat lunch together (and sometimes moan about why the cafeteria liked to torture students like this) at the same table. Though often people openly gawked at their table. Of course the mere fact that Riku sat there with them had merit in itself, some people did double takes whenever they saw her and Naminé sit beside each other, or whenever Roxas and Sora held their random shoot-the-pea-into-the-glass aiming competition. The likenesses were just unbelievable. Then add two hyper Energizer bunnies, Tidus and Selphie, a soft-spoken yet iron-willed Yuna, a very good Black Mage (who, well, always wore black), Lulu, and an islander with a very islandic accent Wakka... you've got a pretty mixed lunch group.
"Is this tuna or something?" Riku asked aloud as they set their trays on the table, his brows furrowed together. "It's kinda... I don't know... scary to eat..."
"Mmpf...it actually is tuna..."
Naminé rolled her eyes. "Sora, chew. Never talk when your mouth is full."
"Mmmpfff Nam mmpf sorry." The brunette tried to say as he had just eaten a spoonful of rice. Naminé sighed for a hopeless cause.
It was amazing how bipolar Sora could be. The little incident at the Halloween Dance might as well had never happened. She still ignored him, though, and him her. She couldn't help but be just mad at how he just...shunted the issue away. He was a coward for not talking to her; for not confronting her and Riku.
Speaking of Riku, the Wielder had been, should she say, distant the weeks after the Halloween Dance. He wasn't outright ignoring her; it was in a more subtle way that he had been paying less and less attention to her and more to the blonde girl sitting across her. Now that she thought about it, Riku had sat next to Naminé. Again.
Should she be jealous? No. Riku knew full well that her heart belonged to Sora. But after that letter arrived...that's a different story.
"Earth to Kairi! Earth to Kairi!" Tidus made a little beeping noise, waving a paper napkin in front of her.
"Huh?"
Naminé peered at her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she usually did. "Something's definitely wrong with her, " she pronounced loudly. "She's spacing out again."
"And so Healer, what do you believe would remedy that?" Riku snickered, poking Naminé at the waist. Kairi's eyebrow tilted upwards at the seemingly random gesture. Riku falling for Naminé? Had the world come crashing down on them?
"Awww, little Nam's got herself a boyfriend!" The boy seated at her left teased, dodging the crumpled wad of paper napkin a blushing Naminé threw at him. If possible, Kairi's eyes widened even more. Of all the people, (pshaw! were Nobodies considered people?) why would Roxas say anything like that? She knew Roxas had feelings for Naminé (from what she could see, anyway, screw the fact that they couldn't really feel). Why would he hurt himself like that?
He dodged another, slightly larger wad again (aimed by Riku) in her direction, knocking his glass of water onto her skirt. She couldn't help but gasp as the ice-cold water seeped into her clothes and dripped down her legs into her socks.
Roxas scratched his head sheepishly. "Of course, I would help wipe the water from you... but seeing where---" he trailed off, going into a silent fit of laughter with Tidus and Wakka.
Kairi couldn't help but grin. "You are such a sick pervert, Roxas. But I would like to repay the favor, so..."
She upended her glass of water over his head, those unbelievably stubborn spikes sticking up. Roxas' mouth hung open in shock as the water trickled down his face onto his white shirt.
"You should thank me I didn't pour water on your..." Now the girls started to laugh.
"Ahh Kairi! That stuff's cold!"
"And there you have an example of two perfectly mature sixteen-year olds," Lulu said flatly, rolling her eyes. The table erupted in laughter, making everyone's heads turn in their direction. She was too busy laughing at herself and Roxas little 'mishap' to notice Sora was staring at both of them, a forlorn expression etched on his face.
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"Sora, hey."
The brunette heaved his backpack higher, resolutely ignoring Riku's calling his name. Riku sighed, sometimes Sora was too stubborn for his own liking. The conversation had started out like every other normal conversation every student had; how the dreaded World's History test turned out (Naminé did not want to talk about that), how Wakka had gotten detention just because he 'accidentally' bounced a blitzball off the Field Battles professor (what? His aim was off), how Yuna aced the Healer's application exams and the theatre auditions on the same day; everyday normal things students talk about. Classmates, professors, co-curricular, rumors, relationships...
And when it got to relationships, Sora stopped talking animatedly and clammed up, his face turning pale (he did not know Sora's face was capable of that). He was avoiding the issue, not facing it. He exchanged looks with Naminé, who was walking beside him. The blonde held his gaze for a few seconds (her eyes were so blue) before shrugging.
"He has to talk sometime. He won't survive his emotions dammed up like that," she reassured him, a serious expression on her face. "His heart would shatter, you know."
Riku raised an eyebrow.
"Of course, silly, not shatter tangibly into shards of blood and everything. It'll shatter emotionally, in a way that is almost impossible to repair. Only time can heal a broken heart."
"Cripes, you really sound like a Healer."
"Oh, stop it, Riku." She blushed. Riku smiled. Naminé was beautiful in her own way, different from Kairi's or even Yuna's kind of beauty. She radiated a calmness that Riku had never felt before.
Naminé pursed her lips and her eyebrows furrowed. "But I have to admit, he really has to talk." she whispered in his ear before quickening her pace to catch up with Sora. Riku followed suit.
"Sora, stop running away," she was saying, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sora brushed it off (much to the blonde's shock) and turned to face them, his face silhouetted against the sunset sky.
Sora drew a deep breath. "Listen guys, Riku, Naminé..." he spread his hands in front of him. "I'm grateful for what you two are trying to do, but please give me some space, okay? I really don't want to talk about what happened last Halloween, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop asking me about it."
The silence that followed was one of the experiences Riku never wanted to repeat in his entire life.
"...okay." Naminé said in a small voice. Riku just nodded, unable to think of anything to reply to Sora's statement.
"We were just trying to help," Naminé ventured, her lip trembling.
"I know, Naminé." Sora said heavily. "I know." He spun on his heels and walked on, presumably, to the house he and Riku shared.
"He's hurting."
"Yeah."
"Where are you headed, anyway?" Riku asked the girl beside him and wondering why exactly he was asking that at the same time.
Naminé looked startled as she looked up into his face, her eyes questioning. "Well, I'm going to the gym for some audition, I suppose..."
"Whaddya mean, I suppose?"
She pouted at no-one in particular. "A couple of days ago some girls came up to me and asked me to try out for the cheerleading squad."
Riku stared at her incredulously. "Do you realize that never in the history of the Academy Cheering Squad did something like that happen? To even just get invited to join you supposedly had to pass through the eye of a needle!"
"They're your fangirls, right?"
He clamped his mouth shut, scarlet rushing up his face.
Naminé laughed softly, a gentle, almost tinkling of bells (what the hell? Riku thought). "I thought that would get you."
"Why you little...!" He resisted the urge to tackle her right then and there. Instead he grabbed her hand and pulled her along. "C'mon, I'll tell you about the 'Survival of the Fittest' thing cheerleaders always have.Just don't tell Kai I told you something like this, okay, or she'd kill me."
"Ohhh... Know so much about your fangirls, huh?" she giggled.
"Naminé, stop it...you're kinda sounding like a fangirl yourself."
"But I actually am!" she said sarcastically, beaming up at him.
Riku put on an expression of mock horror. "Run away!" And he did run, looking back at the blonde Nobody following him, the both of them laughing.
Should he feel guilty? No. He finally had someone else than Kairi. At least, he thought he had someone other than Kairi. The eve of Halloween had changed his perspective on sweet Kairi, princess of heart.
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"Yeah, and did you see the look on his face? Hilarious!"
"Oh, I'd give anything for that to happen again," Kairi panted, out of breath from laughing so hard.
Roxas dabbed at the edges of his eyes as the swing he was sitting on went forward. Kairi followed suit, her black shoes scraping against the pebbled ground.
Sora berated himself mentally for deciding to take this shortcut. How could he be so stupid?
He had just pushed away two people who had just wanted to help him. And now he was pulverizing his own shattered heart by watching the girl he loved enjoying with.. with his---
Replacement, his Antiform spat. Yes, his Antiform seemed to talk to him very much lately.
It was true. Roxas had already replaced him in almost every aspect of his life. His position as goalie on the blitz team was revoked and taken by Roxas; he was redrafted as a reserve (no matter how Tidus tried to explain to him that he was just waiting for term to end). In every class he once had Roxas had taken his seat. Even in Advanced SHM Roxas was the one the professor always picked on. In their lunch group he had to squeeze in; Roxas had taken Sora's usual place next to Kairi.
And, your place in the princess' heart.
His Antiform's words rang true in his head. No matter how he tried to supress his Antiform it always kept popping up in the most random of times.
The piece of cement under his foot turned into powder as he crushed it. It reminded him of his heart. He had so much wanted to tell Naminé that nothing could break his heart anymore, simply because it already was. Maybe right now they were thinking that he, Sora, was crazy for just... like, forgetting what happened that All Hallow's Eve.
No, he wasn't bipolar.
No, he wasn't psychotic.
He could switch emotions just like that because he kept the balance (or something like that, the King had spoken about the subject much too vehemently for him to understand everything) between light and darkness. Abilities like that were essential for staying sane as a Keyblade Master caught between said light and darkness. He wasn't really happy, all wasn't fine and dandy... but no-one cared, because he had already been cast as a optimistic, happy guy. And he cared about how the others felt; he didn't want them to worry over what he was feeling because they already had enough things to deal with. It's like he's becoming the poster boy for martyrdom. And that is exactly what being the Wielder of light is all about.
Sacrifice.
Stupid le---
He quickly dived down behind the hedge in front of him as Kairi got off the swings and Roxas followed suit.
"I gotta go," he heard Kairi's musical voice say as her footfalls echoed past Sora. "I have cheering practice to go to."
"Oh, the guys who invited Naminé to join..." Roxas commented, following the redhead out of the swing area.
"Yeah, it's quite surprising how she's kinda popular with them... and with the boys.."
"See if I care."
"Ohh you do because you're blushing!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
And so the pointless conversation continued until the two were out of sight. He sighed. Now Roxas had even replaced him in those pointless conversation he always had with Kairi to while away the time. Now, Sora could've slid down onto the ground and died and they wouldn't even notice.
Should he feel angry? No. It was his duty to leave after all, it was what he was supposed to do with that infernal key. His brow furrowed. His Antiform was the one who said that, not him.
Are you suure, Soraaa? The darkness inside his heart said in a sing-song voice.
He sighed as he stood up, dusting soil and leaves from his clothes. Voices always seemed to favor his head, whether Roxas' or his Antiform's, and seriously, he was getting tired. His Other Side. Now his Dark Side! What the heck, his life started to resemble a very cheesy movie plot!
And maybe it actually is, to Fate.
"Shut it, antiform," he mumbled as he walked on to the apartment, not noticing his shadow was actually whistling.
The brightest of flames cast the darkest of shadows, Wielder, his Dark Side giggled.
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"One-two-three-four...oh shoot."
Kairi rolled her eyes; this had been the fifth time this girl had messed up her dance routine. The steps they taught weren't that hard, in fact, they were positively easy.
"Oh man, aren't there any good recruits this year?" Garnet moaned beside her, putting her head in her hands.
"Don't worry, Dagger (Garnet always liked that nick, and no-one on the squad knew why, she didn't even use daggers in Field Battle classes) somewhere out there we'll find someone..." Kairi patted her on the back sympathetically.
"Like that's pretty encouraging," Freya rolled her eyes, gathering her long blonde hair and sticking a pencil through the bun. "We might find one in the next thousand years or so."
"C'mon, be positive or somethin'," Pearl stuck out her tongue at Freya. "Maybe Naminé's good."
"Hmm.. she might be..."
Kairi glanced over to where the blonde was sitting. She looked really pale (which was saying something) and she looked like she was nibbling her nails down to a bloody mess. The things people do when they're nervous.
"Next!" She heard Garnet holler, gesturing to the next girl to audition. One more to go and it would be Naminé's turn. Kairi fervently hoped the blonde wouldn't screw up her routine.
"Wait, who's that?"
Kairi sighed and rolled her eyes; her squadmates had just reverted to full hottie alert, or whatever they called that..thing they do whenever they see a potential boyfriend. The judging table was cleared in less than ten seconds flat, leaving her and Pearl alone at the table. Judging from their speed, this guy was pretty hot.
"Oh crap, there they go again," Pearl rolled her eyes in imitation of Kairi. Pearl already had a boyfriend, a Jumi like her named Elazul. "Really!"
"Pearl, they all can't be that bad. I'm going to go see who it is."
"Suit yourself, Kai. Just hurry up so that we can finish the auditions already." She put her feet up on the desk, spinning her pen between her fingers.
Kairi raised an eyebrow. "You've got a date with Elazul, don't you?"
The silver-haired Jumi choked. "Well, we...uh..."
She snickered and ran towards the source of commotion; a teenager roughly a foot higher than her, wearing a very black combination of turtleneck and sweats. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his silver-blue hair (which covered one side of his face) and suddenly froze when he saw her coming.
"Hey, Nam." She stopped dead in her tracks. Somehow, he looked familiar.
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Okay. I did that to push the plot along and lift the gloomy mood a tiny bit. Watch out for Antiform, because it's going to play a major role in upcoming chapters. And this fic is kinda (KINDA!) tragic. Why the hell would I entitle it "You Don't Miss It 'Till It's Gone" if someone's not going somewhere?
Poll! Tragedy or happy ending? Tell me guys!
See ya! Might update day after tomorrow or somethin' like that!