The blinding sunlight that pierced Kara's eyelids made her groan and she buried her face in the person in front of her, taking a deep breath and pulling them closer.
It wasn't the familiar, overbearing cologne and hard muscles of her boyfriend that greeted her but soft skin smelling of light, airy perfume, with hints of citrus and rare, exotic flowers. Despite what her nose was telling her, she still felt the shock like a bucket of icy water over her head when she cracked an eye open and found herself an inch away from Lena's bare back.
Sometime in the night Lena had pulled her shirt off, no doubt overheating because of Kara—she always ran warm—and her skin was glowing in the sunlight. A smattering of freckles dotted her back and Kara traced them with a feather-light touch, connecting them like constellations. There were faint, long white scars that crisscrossed the pale skin, only visible at specific angles, and she wondered what they were from, sitting up with a frown.
What had happened to her Lena?
The phrase equal parts thrilled and scared her. Her Lena. That electrifying kiss ran through her mind on a loop and she held her breath as Lena hummed in her sleep.
Running a fingertip along the scar at Lena's eyebrow, she wondered how she'd let this happen. How had she let this quiet, beautiful girl worm her way into her heart? After Veronica, she had sworn to never do it again, and yet here she was.
Speaking of, where were they?
Kara took in the extravagant room for the first time. Everything was branded with the Four Seasons logo and it was dawning on her that they must be in someone else's room. She remembered Lena dragging her into the lobby and the receptionist turning them down, and everything else was a blur.
Except that damned kiss.
As she twisted to see the time on Lena's watch, a wave of nausea rose in her and she scrambled out of the bed, running for the bathroom. Lena made a discontented noise at being disturbed but Kara was too busy being violently sick to check on her. Having never been drunk, her body was having a rough go of it and with her head over the toilet bowl and her eyes screwed shut, she didn't see, but rather heard Lena barrel into the bathroom after her.
Strong fingers were raking her hair back and resting on her shoulder, Lena's voice low in her ear.
"You're okay. You're okay, I got you. I'm here."
Another bout of nausea made her head spin and she coughed, bending further over the toilet. Her arms were shaking, sweaty fingers slipping on the porcelain rim, and Lena was pushing a paper cup at her. She sipped it with a groan, rinsing her mouth and trying to stop her throat from convulsing.
"I feel like shit."
Despite the situation, Lena half smiled. "Happy birthday?" she said in a terse voice, her eyes not leaving Kara's face.
Kara let out a strangled laugh and looked up with watery red eyes. A second later the paper cup hit the ground and she turned bright red, her hungover brain completely shutting down.
"Are you going to be sick again?" Lena said with concern, leaning forward. Kara's eyes were stuck somewhere below her neck and she frowned. "Kara?"
The deep breath Kara let out hit Lena's bare skin and—
Hang on. Bare skin?!
In her hurry to follow Kara to the bathroom, Lena hadn't noticed that she was topless. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest, feeling doubly self conscious when Kara didn't look away. Her heart rate skyrocketed until, with unnerving self control, she stood up and left the bathroom.
Wrenching open the cabinet, she tied one of the plush robes around her and peeled her jeans off. She glanced at herself in the closet mirror—her hair was in desperate need of a brush, her eyes were wide and nervous—and forced a neutral expression on her face before heading back to the bathroom to check on Kara, her heart pounding.
Her friend had moved from the floor to the edge of the tub and looked embarrassed when Lena appeared in the doorway. "So," she started, her blue eyes much clearer now that her body had cleaned itself out. The pause that followed was awkward and drawn out; Lena pulled the robe tighter around herself and Kara opened her mouth without saying anything several times.
"About last night," the blonde said at last. "I didn't...get drunk, did I? After we left dinner?"
Lena raised an eyebrow, feeling accomplished when her voice came out casual. "Is that what you remember?"
"I think so." Kara seemed to be waiting for her version of the story and Lena sighed, perching on the counter.
"When we got to the house, Mike got it in his head that you needed to do a shot." She couldn't keep the annoyance out of her voice. "Then he asked me—"
"He didn't ask. He was threatening you," Kara interrupted angrily.
"So you do remember." It wasn't a question.
Kara looked down at her feet. "I dreamed that we were in the back of a car. And I didn't care that I was in the back, because you were with me and I could feel you kissing me." Her voice dropped lower and lower as she continued, "And I think it was a dream, but I'm not sure."
She didn't know what made her say what she said next; maybe it was the tight giddiness in her chest, maybe it was the butterflies in her stomach, maybe it was Kara looking beautiful under the fluorescent lights and talking about kissing her.
"Do you want it to be a dream?"
Kara's eyes flickered and Lena tried to interpret the flash of blue and grey but she hid her face behind a curtain of blonde hair. At that reaction, self doubt tore into Lena and she second-guessed everything from the night before; the jokes, Kara's mumbled words, holding her in her arms. She turned to go and suddenly Kara was blocking the doorway, sky-blue eyes burning into her and sweat beading her forehead.
Lena tried to convince herself that she would be satisfied if Kara walked away, but even she couldn't lie that effectively. Her body quivered with anticipation as Kara looked her up and down.
"I don't know." Kara's voice was soft but her eyes were like chips of ice, unyielding and determined, and Lena felt like a bug pinned to a board; helpless, vulnerable, under scrutiny. They were all sensations she was familiar with, but not like this. Never like this.
A door slammed out in the hallway and Kara jumped back, her eyes darting around the room.
"What are we doing here?" The question came out high-pitched and shaky, and Kara walked to the window, hiding her expression from Lena. She couldn't remember everything she had said, but one sentence in particular glared out at her.
I think I'm in love with you.
"You wanted to leave the party." Lena emerged from the bathroom to see Kara pulling her hair into a messy bun. "I got us a room," she said matter-of-factly.
"This room?" Kara said, disbelief coloring her tone. She picked her glasses up and cleaned them before sliding them onto her face, blinking as her eyes adjusted.
Something about being back in New York changed the way Lena thought and her chin raised defiantly. "I always stay here."
"You do? I mean...wow." Kara was at a loss for words. "Isn't this place, like, a thousand dollars a night?" She craned her neck to look around, loose strands of hair falling down her neck.
"It's not important. You wanted to leave, so we left. Consider it a birthday gift."
Money. One more thing that separated her from everyone else. Kara had the same look that everyone else did when they found out how rich her family was—the kind of rich that people didn't talk about. The kind of rich that made her name synonymous with royalty, that made service people bend over backwards for her out of fear.
Lena understood it. She knew she had been raised in money, by money. She tried to keep in mind that Lillian's standards were different than the average middle-aged woman's, skewed by price tags and luxury, but the watch sitting in her purse now seemed more like a grenade than a gift.
Looking around her in awe, Kara peered out the window. "Nice view." She fingered the curtain like she was afraid of how expensive it was, and Lena's heart sunk.
Kara moved away from the window and Lena moved with her, the movements feeling rehearsed, like a bizarre play they were both unwitting participants in. When had being with Kara gotten so stiff, so formal? Not an hour ago they were sleeping in the same bed, holding hands.
In an attempt to break the silence, Lena cleared her throat. "Should I order breakfast? Bagels are good to soak up alcohol."
With a frown, Kara nodded, a shadow crossing her face. "I can't believe I was drunk. Sorry you had to see that."
"It it's any consolation, you're a happy drunk."
"That has more to do with the company than me, I think," Kara said generously. She felt drab compared to the glamour of the room and worried at a hole in her tee shirt, watching Lena search for the room service menu. Her friend fit in with the fancy setting but she looked like she was on edge and Kara's frown deepened. She was on edge too, if she was being honest. The unspoken words between them were the elephant in the room as they sat on opposite beds, Lena checking her phone, Kara watching Lena, until the food arrived.
"Put it over there." Lena was confident, commanding. This was familiar territory and she fell back into society's role for her with an effortlessness that both pleased and irritated her. She worried that Kara would see her for who she really was and hate her for it, but habit already had her on her feet and tipping the man. "That will be all." The door closed behind him and she turned back to see Kara studying her, biting her lip. "What?"
Kara shook her head. "You're doing it again," she said with evident concern.
"Doing what?" Lena asked self-consciously, glancing down at herself. Had she forgotten to put on clothes? Had her robe come undone?
"Acting all formal. You don't like being here, do you?" As usual, Kara knew exactly what she was thinking, and Lena rolled her shoulders back.
"There's bagels, pancakes, eggs, fruit, orange juice, milk, coffee, tea..."
"No waffles?"
Her face fell. "I forgot to order them. I can call him back or—"
"I'm messing with you." Kara rolled her eyes, letting Lena off the hook in lieu of eating, but a shine in the corner caught her eye. Bending down with a sigh, she picked something off the ground and when she straightened up, Lena saw the watch gleaming in her hands. Kara's face took on a troubled expression, her knuckles whitening around the leather strap.
"You know, if I'm paying for them you might as well try on a robe." She said it to distract Kara and it worked; the watch clattered onto the tray and Kara slid the other robe off the hanger.
"Ugh. Sleeping in jeans is the worst."
"No kidding," Lena agreed, trying to ignore the way Kara's pants fell to the ground.
Kara dug into the spread eagerly and Lena watched, her stomach in knots. Where were they supposed to go from here? Did they stay friends? Maybe it was just one kiss, maybe Kara didn't even think it was important enough to bring up...
"Lena?" Kara was looking at her expectantly, like it wasn't the first time she'd said her name.
She blinked, adorably distracted. "Yes?"
"Are you going to have any of this?" Kara gestured to the already half-empty table, chewing on a strip of bacon.
Forcing down a sip of water, Lena shook her head. "I'm thinking of switching schools," she said suddenly, delivering the battering ram of a sentence in a flat voice.
The piece of bacon fell from Kara's hand. "What? Why?" She looked shocked and disappointed and Lena felt it like a tug in her gut.
Not sure what had possessed her to say such a thing, she blinked, trying to come up with a reasonable follow up. As it always did around Kara, her brain failed her.
"Because he got you a watch."
Disappointment morphed into confusion and Kara tilted her head like it would help her see clearer. "That's—What does that have to do with you staying?" She made sure to say 'staying' instead of 'leaving'; the idea of Lena going back to some snobby, posh school well out of her reach threatened to open a crater in her chest. Lena had been so jumpy and withdrawn when she came from that place, and Kara hated to think she would be going back there.
Stirring a cup of tea with enough force to rattle the entire tray, Lena clenched her jaw and glared at the sugar cubes. "Forget I said anything," she said grimly. She started to get up and Kara had to reach across the table to stop her, grabbing her hand.
"Wait."
"I said forget it, Kara." Wishing she didn't sound close to tears, Lena refused to look her friend in the eye.
"Don't shut yourself off, Lee. Talk to me. What's going on? Is it the watch? I hate it too," Kara added, seeing Lena relax incrementally. She was trying to get back to the easy conversation they usually had, but everything had changed after last night.
Lena sensed Kara's eagerness to listen and it snapped something in her, because a second later she was throwing caution to the wind. "I got you one, too. But now it seems lame after seeing Mike's, because everyone knows you like watches—"
"Not everyone," Kara said quietly. Very few people knew she collected them.
"—and I feel so stupid because I got all excited to give it to you and now I've gone and ruined everything and—"
"Can I see it?"
Lena caught her breath, her eyes wide. She was staring at Kara in disbelief, like she couldn't believe she had just confessed all that, and it took her a moment to come back to life. "See what?"
"The watch, silly." There was no mistaking the enthusiastic set of Kara's shoulders.
Lena's eyebrows knit and she had to turn away from the look in Kara's eyes. "You'll hate it," she mumbled, afraid of being rejected yet again. But her heart strained against her pessimism, rubbing open old wounds and whispering that maybe Kara would like to see it, maybe she'd even like it more than she liked Mike's.
"Not if it's from you," Kara said earnestly. "I've been a bad friend, I know, but look! We're here having a nice breakfast and no one is around to bother us. There's nothing to be afraid of, Lee."
Weighing Kara's words against the weight in her chest, Lena pursed her lips. "You have to close your eyes," she instructed, trying to stay calm. Anticipation zinged through her and she was trying to keep it at bay, keep it so she wasn't disappointed when Kara's reaction didn't live up to her expectations.
Kara closed her eyes obediently and grinned. "Alright, have it your way." She heard Lena get up and go over to the bed and her fingers tapped against the tray, a staccato beat that hammered in the silence. Unfortunately, when she closed her eyes, she saw Lena's green ones, dark with an inexplicable hunger, pulling her forward until their lips met—
Lena's voice spoke from somewhere to her left. "You can look now."
A wrapped box was sitting on the edge of the tray, small, neat letters spelling out "Happy Birthday!" in Lena's familiar scrawl. Lena herself was sitting on the floor a few feet away, apprehension in every line of her body. Kara picked it up carefully, trying not to seem too eager, but she ripped the paper off impatiently, earning a throaty chuckle from Lena.
Cartier.
Sliding the perfectly fit, pristine white sleeve off, Kara's breath caught and she couldn't tear her eyes away. A red box with gold trim sat in her lap and her fingers paused on the latch, the moment building.
"This isn't a prank, and it's just an empty box, right?" Her voice was breathy and an octave too high.
"Afraid not," Lena said in a low voice that sent a shiver down her spine.
The latch clicked open and Kara forgot how to breathe.
"The 42mm Ronde Solo de Cartier?"
"Of course you'd know that. Yeah. With the blue face. It's one of my favorites."
For a long time, neither of them moved a millimeter. Lena was afraid, already planning how to get out of the state if Kara decided she hated it. Kara was sitting in absolute silence.
Finally, Lena couldn't take it anymore. She stood up to get a good look at Kara's face and her friend stood up with her, the open box landing upright in her newly vacated chair.
"Lena..." Kara swallowed hard, the magnitude of the gift still washing over her. Lena had remembered which stupid watch was her favorite, had bought it for her, most likely without even thinking about the price based on this hotel room, and now...
Her chest tight with uncertainty, Lena took a step back. No one had ever looked at her the way Kara was looking at her right now, and she wondered if she had made a horrible mistake in buying the watch.
"Do you..." Her teeth worried at her bottom lip, her eyes trained on Kara's face. "Do you like it?"
Kara's eyes were suspiciously bright and she swallowed again. "I..."
Lena opened her mouth to say something, anything, to justify the clearly terrible purchase she'd made, but nothing came out. She stumbled back another step and this time Kara followed, a desperate look in her eyes that Lena felt mirrored in her own.
And then Kara was pressing her into the wall and crushing her lips in an all-encompassing kiss that made Lena's knees go weak.
Kara was kissing her. Kara had leaned forward, she had kissed her, she had wanted to.
Lena froze, her heart flailing in her chest in a final, pathetic attempt to protect herself. Sensing that something was off, Kara pulled away, still framing Lena's face in her hands and looking at her with so much genuine concern that she had a hard time not leaning forward and kissing the confused look off of Kara's face.
"Lena? Did I do that wrong? Is it—"
"This is a bad idea," Lena gasped out.
No! her heart screamed, This is exactly what you want!
"But...I want to." And that simple statement was almost enough for Lena, who had been denying herself so much for so long. But reality was a bitch, and she delivered it in three short words.
"What about Mike?"
Kara didn't so much as blink at his name. "I don't want Mike, I want you." She said it like it was obvious, then let out a long breath and took a step back to regard Lena with hurt in her eyes. "I thought you wanted...I mean, last night..."
Lena couldn't do much but swallow; her throat had closed up and she was trying to keep a tenuous control over her impassive expression.
"I meant what I said, Lee. About..." Her throat bobbed up and down and Lena waited with baited breath. "I feel the same way about you."
And that was it.
The final chain, put in place by her own self-hatred, snapped, and then they were kissing again. She didn't know who leaned in first, but Kara responded enthusiastically and Lena marveled at how good, how right it felt to have Kara's arms around her and her lips on hers. The electricity that was coming off the two of them made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and just like last night, Kara moaned into her open mouth and she melted.
The kiss deepened and Lena tried to keep up. Kara, clearly, had experience kissing a girl, but Lena was getting caught up in her own current of emotions. Kara's fingers on her face, cupping it like it was breakable and important, whispering her name.
This can't be real.
Something ran across her lips—Kara's tongue, darting out of her mouth—and she sighed into the kiss, her lips parting subconsciously.
"Is this okay?" Kara asked in a hoarse voice, her eyes closed.
Lena pushed off the wall in response and then Kara's tongue was in her mouth and all she could smell was Kara, and all she could taste was Kara, and she couldn't close her eyes because she couldn't believe that this was happening. Blonde hair hung over her (Kara was a few inches taller than her) and something deep inside her moved when she felt Kara's legs hit the bed.
She tore herself away the same way a starving man tears himself away from his first meal in months.
"Lena?" Kara's pupils were blown out and she was looking at her with something like reverence.
She felt like she was in limbo. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she tried to talk herself out of it, but the next words out of her mouth crushed her own fragile hope. "You don't want this. You don't want me." Lena's eyes stung and she looked away. Her hands shook at her sides and she clenched them into fists, knowing she could never be the girl Kara thought she was.
Kara's slim fingers turned her head and she kept her eyes down, knowing her resolve would disappear if she looked up. "Lena."
Lena shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek so hard she thought she tasted blood. Her heart felt like it was about to explode out of her chest, and no doubt Kara could see her pulse pounding through every vein in her body.
"Lena," Kara repeated with more force. "What's going through your head right now?"
"I don't deserve this," she whispered, the words torn from her with Kara's blue eyes and expectant expression.
"Don't deserve what?"
"I'm not...I'm not the kind of person that people like, Kara." Squeezing her eyes shut, a tear slipped out and slid down her cheek, and she leaned away from the warmth of Kara's hand. "I'm going to go check out. Make sure you have everything." She ducked away from Kara and ran out the door before Kara could say anything.
"I heard you got the part."
Kara smiled into the phone, pushing her glasses up. "Yeah. How's New York?"
"Cold," Lena said shortly. She clamped her mouth shut to stop the flow of words; that she missed Kara, that she was sorry they didn't talk about that morning, that it was too late now. They had hung out exclusively in groups since Kara's birthday and Kara had gone right back to her flirty, touchy ways and Lena was so confused by it that she didn't know what to do. Now they were on winter break, and Lena was back at the Luthor mansion. "What's the musical?"
"The Last Five Years." Kara stuffed her script into her backpack and an idea came to her. "Hey, if I gave you the music, could you learn the piano accompaniment? I need to practice the songs."
"Sure," Lena agreed readily, unable to deny Kara's upbeat attitude.
"Bangarang! I'll email you the PDF. Does your mom have a piano?"
"My mother has five pianos," Lena said with a hint of bitterness.
Sensing that it wasn't directed at her, Kara just hummed. "Alright. I can't wait to see you!"
"Where are you and Mike staying?" Lena already knew, Kara had talked about their plans several times, but once Kara hung up all she had to look forward to was dinner with her mother. Her mother, and the memory of her brother that Lillian would never stop talking about.
"Aspen. I wish you were here with us, it's so pretty. You should come next time, if your mom lets you."
Letting Kara ramble on, Lena looked out her window despondently. It hadn't been Lillian, but herself, who decided to tell Kara she couldn't make it. Now she was regretting that decision, but she didn't know if it would do her any good to spend winter break with Kara—Kara and Mike. She missed her, sharply, but she couldn't keep going on like nothing had happened even though Kara seemed content with doing exactly that. Only Lillian yelling at her about being a disgrace had been enough to force her hand, and she had dialed the number she had been avoiding for three days.
"I'm really glad you called. Shoot, I gotta go. Mike is yelling something about a bonfire." Kara waited for Lena to say something, but the brunette was silent. "Lena? Did you hang up on me?"
"No, sorry," Lena said, shaking her head even though Kara couldn't see her. "I, um...Have fun, Kara."
"Yeah. What are you doing tonight?" Kara seemed just as reluctant to end the call and Lena tried to keep the suspicion out of her voice.
"Dinner with my mother. Why?"
"No reason," Kara said quickly. "I just thought I'd give you a call if you were free. But maybe you'll be busy with dinner," she added as an afterthought. "Text me when you're done?"
"I'd like that." Lena was surprised that Kara would interrupt her vacation to talk to her, but it was easier to agree to things like this when they weren't face-to-face. Every time Kara had suggested calling her when they were at school, she had turned her down, but the distance made her brave and she didn't feel like the rug was being swept from under her feet by Kara's eyes on hers.
"Okay. Talk to you later!" Kara sounded cheery, and Lena hung up before she could say something stupid.
Dinner with her mother was an uncomfortably tense affair.
"How is school?"
Lena didn't look up from her plate. "Good," she said tersely, stabbing at a piece of broccoli. Her lips twitched up in a smile when she remembered Kara's excuse for not eating vegetables.
"They're against my religion."
"And what religion is that?"
"The religion that worships carbs and sugary goodness."
"What have you learned so far?" Lillian prodded.
"Science. Math. World history," Lena supplied unhelpfully.
Lillian set her jaw. "If I'm going to pay thousands of dollars, you should respect me enough to answer my questions."
"Sure," Lena scoffed. "Then maybe we can pretend you're not spending that money just to get me out of the house."
"I asked you to come back here for the break, didn't I?" Lillian's eyes were glinting with a dangerous light, and she placed her fork next to her knife with thinly-veiled anger. "Your brother would have—"
"Come off it, mother. You always liked him best, don't pretend like you wouldn't rather be having this conversation with him." Frustrated, Lena interrupted her mother despite years of training not to do exactly that.
Lillian's polite manner dropped in an instant. "Listen to me, you self-centered parasite," she snapped. "Just because you can't stand to be second to him doesn't mean you have to spite me. Your short comings are not my fault."
"No, but the years of emotional abuse are."
Lillian's face turned red and she narrowed her eyes, and Lena raised her chin defiantly even as fear chilled her veins. She wasn't sure what had gotten into her, but she desperately wanted away from this massive, empty house and it's gloomy passages. She was baiting her mother, because at least she could leave her suffocating presence if they were fighting.
"I told you to rise above it all. Emotions only cloud your judgment, your ability to make decisions," Lillian said in a controlled tone. "If you can't manage that—"
"Why does everything have to be my fault?"
Her own words brought Lena up short. She had never voiced the thought aloud, but it suddenly made sense. She was tired, tired of being the only focus of her mother's attention now that Lex was in jail, tired of being made to feel constantly worthless, tired of taking responsibility for everything. "Why is it always my fault?" she repeated with less force. "Everything I say you turn around and blame me for, things I couldn't help when I was younger, things I can't help now. You make everything a fight, and I don't understand it."
"It's certainly not my fault you haven't changed in over a decade," Lillian said bitingly. "And if you weren't so insolent, we wouldn't be fighting."
Lena stared at her in dismay. Even after all these years, Lillian could still get under her skin so easily that it made her eyes sting, but not in sadness. It was a mixture of helplessness and anger, and she let it out. "Maybe I should've just killed myself," she said, not really meaning the words but at the same time not caring.
"Fine by me." Her mother waved a hand and turned back to her dinner. "Just don't do it on the property. It'll lower the resale value and I don't want to have to hose your body off the lawn."
Her bottom lip trembled and Lena stood up, pushing the chair back. "You are a horrible mother," she said in a shaky voice.
"I really don't care." Lillian didn't even look up. "I haven't wanted to be your mother for years. I told you when you were 12, I'm abdicating the role. It's not my fault your birth mother went and killed herself." She glanced around to see if her words had an effect on Lena, but the girl was already running out of the room and up the stairs. "No, don't put those there," she snapped at a servant. "I told you, keep this dish warm!"
"Kara?"
"Hey! I was waiting for your text. How was dinner with your mom?"
Without warning, Lena burst into tears.
"Lena? Lena, what's wrong?" Kara sounded frantic. Ambient noise and shouting could be heard over the phone, and Kara apologized under her breath until she moved away from it. "Lena, what happened?"
"It's my mother," Lena said in a rush, wiping her nose. "I forget how much she hates me sometimes, and then it hits me and I don't understand, I can't understand, we were just having dinner but she hates me and she told me she didn't care if I killed—" She hiccuped, putting a hand over her mouth and shutting her eyes against the setting sun coming in her window. Her chest was tight, whether in apprehension to Lillian's reaction or her own agony, she couldn't be sure, but Kara's voice in her ear made it a little easier to breathe.
"Lena, slow down. Take your time. Did you and your mother get into a fight?"
"Yes," Lena whispered brokenly.
Kara hesitated, asking a question she already half-knew the answer to. "Did she hit you?"
The words sounded harsh over the phone, like Kara was angry, though Lena knew it wasn't directed at her and she chose her answer carefully, knowing it was opening a door she could never close again. But Kara knew her, and she trusted her.
She still felt exposed when she whispered the words.
"Not this time."
"Oh, Lena," Kara breathed, and her heart ached. That's what the scars were from. That's why Lena was always so jumpy, why she shrunk away from people reflexively, why she hated herself for doing so. "Can you—are you going to be okay?"
"I'm fine." Now that she had confessed it, said the words out loud, she was afraid of the consequences. She didn't want to get her mother in trouble, her ties of loyalty were too strong even for that.
"Lena, from what you're telling me you're definitely not fine. I have to tell someone, you can't—"
"Sorry to bother you." Her voice sounded dead, even to her own ears, and Lena hung up on her friend. She wasn't surprised when, a second later, Kara called her back, but she ignored the call. Two more calls came and went, and she stared at the name 'Kara Danvers' until it went to voicemail. A notification popped up and she hit accept without really reading it.
'Kara Danvers has requested to know your location.'
You weren't supposed to tell anyone. You were supposed to keep it to yourself, and now you've ruined everything.
based off a real conversation i had with my mother two days ago, hopefully people can't relate but i'm sure you guys can. Don't forget, no one is alone, and even if it's hard to say you should tell people what you're going through, they're there to help!