She woke up in a furnace. The duvet was completely covering her head, her back was sticking to his chest, and his right arm was resting heavily on her side. In a desperate move to get some air, she stuck her right leg out in the open and in one swift motion, she had hooked the duvet with her foot and pinned it between her knees, leaving three of legs open to the elements. The movement and sudden gush of cold air woke him up, and his arm pulled her closer.

"Let go! I'm boiling!"

"Just a bit longer," he mumbled into the crook of her neck. His breath felt like a scorch through her hair, and her claustrophobic tendencies bubbled to the surface and she raised her voice to a squeal.

"I'm serious!"

She wriggled out of his grip, pushed him aside with both arms and legs, and threw the duvet completely over him. Finally free of his grip, her breathing relaxed and her body and temper cooled down. Even her chest perspired, and as she sat up, one bead of sweat rolled down her cleavage. She shuddered, not sure if it was because she was disgustingly wet, or because of the drop of temperature.

"I'm taking a shower before I go down and make breakfast."

He sat up and looked at her close-to-naked body, and she suddenly felt very naked.
"Mind if I join you?"

"No funny business!"

"I promise"

Regina had scheduled a visit to the doctor's for Zelena, but Robin was reluctant to join, so she had taken on the job alone. Standing outside her sister's cell, she could hear the tell-tale noise of somebody not completely agreeing with their stomach. She smirked. If Zelena insisted on getting revenge on her by getting pregnant by her soulmate, at least it was a small comfort to know she wasn't completely free of misery. She opened the door and stepped inside to see Greenie being properly green and hugging the bin. She was sitting in her usual corner of the bed, and was glancing up to see who had entered her cell.

"Having a ball with your little bundle of joy?"

Zelena answered by a dry heaving a couple of times before she slumped backwards against the wall and breathed heavily. She was looking delightfully crappy, and Regina could feel that smug, self-satisfied grin spread across her face.

"Oh shut it. At least I can produce a child on my own, without having to rely on two others to do it for me." she spit out and glared at Regina. "This is worth every second of nausea and cramping and peeing. Even your precious son couldn't keep me from rubbing this in your face." She rubbed her stomach and put the bin on the floor. "Would you get somebody to remove this and bring me some water? I need to rehydrate."

Regina winced at the smell, but managed to keep a relatively neutral face.

"It's time for your first prenatal visit. Wouldn't want that little spawn to suffer malnutrition or anything else, now, would we?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet and mock concerned.

"We're going up to see Dr. Whale to confirm that you are in fact still pregnant and not only suffering from a virus induced stomach bug, and then we'll take it from there. A nice outing between sisters, so to speak." She smiled one of her most tight, menacing smiles.

Zelena got up and threw a glance at the filthy bucket on the floor, clearly not happy about going out in her state and Regina conjured a glass of water and a packet of tic-tac and gave her.

"Rinse and eat. You reek."

"Oh Lord, not mint!" She suddenly looked sick again.

"Then what will please your picky diet?"

"Salty liquorice...Please." she looked down and massaged her sides with determined strokes.

Regina winced slightly, but exchanged the mints for a packet of liquorice pastilles.

"You're taking a shower before the exam. I don't know how thorough it will be, but I've heard that in case one ends up in hospital it's always wise to have clean undies."

She frog marched her to the showers and waited outside.

"Zelena Mills!"

The calling was shrill in the practically empty waiting area, and both sisters jumped in their seats before standing up and walking towards the door.

A smiling, chubby elderly woman welcomed them, and Regina got the immediate urge to back out faster than hell.

"Hello, you two. I'm Imelda Hamilton, your OB-nurse-slash-midwife. What can I do for you today?"

Zelena looked like a deer caught in the headlight, but was not nearly as out of it as Regina, and managed to state her business.

"I'm here for a prenatal, and my lovely sister is here to witness the joyous occasion."

"I thought Whale did the prenatals," Regina muttered.

"Oh no, that's my job. Whale is only there for the birthing part." Nurse Hamilton gave Regina a smile that sent shivers down her spine, and went to show them both a seat.

And here Regina was, stuck in an examination room, surrounded by cross-sections of female parts, both in print and 3D, forced to listen to the midwife from hell cross-examine her pregnant sister. Her bloody pregnant sister! God, she hated her existence, and quite a substantial part of her regretted that she hadn't obliterated her yet.

Regina answered all questions in quick succession in her head as they were being asked to Zelena.

"So, miss Mills. You are pregnant?"

Of course I am!

"Yes."

"Have you taken a home pregnancy test?"

Yes, nine.

"Two, in fact. One back in New York, and one in your charming cellar," Zelena drawled and sent Regina one of those infuriatingly smug stares she was a master of, "because my dear sister couldn't believe she was going to be an auntie. But she was absolutely thrilled when she saw I was right!"

God, she should wring her scrawny neck!

"Okay, then let's get on with the procedures"

So, Zelena was weighed in, and nurse Hamilton scribbled some more notes on her form.

"I'm going to ask some more questions, and when we are through, I'm going to take a few blood samples, you will give me a urine sample, and we'll finish off with the physical exam. Okay?"

Zelena nodded.

"Okay then. Do you know all your options?"

Get it out of her!

"Do I have options?"

"In short, you have three options; termination, go through with the pregnancy and give it up for adoption, or keep it and be a parent."

Zelena went white as a sheet, and a forceful "NO!" slipped through her lips.

"No, you don't know your options? No something else?"

"No! I'm not letting you take my baby!"

So much for that hope.

"I'm not taking anything you don't want to, dear." She patted Zelena on the knee, and Regina felt an equal amount of disgust by the gesture and a totally irrational need to protect her sister – deranged or not. Nurse Hamilton kept speaking.

"If, however, you would want an abortion, this is probably a good time. It's hardly more than a lump of cells, and you will be back in shape in no time."

No it's not, you filthy old hag. It's a baby, and you bloody well know it. It's not like removing your lumps or gall bladder. It's removing a part of your heart! At least it was for me.

Zelena looked positively appalled. "You're not taking my baby, I said! And I'm not killing it either!"

Nurse Hamilton shrugged and rolled her eyes. Regina would very much like to slap her. The bedside manners had not improved at all, and she was really starting to wonder how on earth this creature had kept her position through two curses. She belonged in the gutter, and certainly not within a hundred feet from a pregnant woman! Even Zelena had done a better job faking a caring midwife.

"Lets get on with the questions, as you are clearly keeping that little bean of yours."

Zelena relaxed a bit again and let one of her hands fall from her midriff. Regina just wanted to scream.

"How old are you?"

"Uh…I'm not sure. 38?"

"Okay, let's assume you're correct. You are what we like to call an older mother. Have you been pregnant before?"

"No, this is my first. And I am hardly old!"

"You are in your thirties, dear, and that is considered older in terms of pregnancy, whether you feel it or not."

Zelena huffed and Nurse Hamilton droned on. Regina's own answers to the questions kept popping up in her head ad nauseam.

35.

Yes, three times.

All standard symptoms, but all fairly mild.

No alcohol or smoking…

I want this to be over with. Get as far away from both of you as I can and never lay eyes on you again. *Poof* May I?

"Is there any history in your family of pregnancy related problems? Miscarriages?"

"Not as far as I'm aware of."

Regina could feel the reddening of her ears, and she was fastening her eyes on a cross section of a pregnant torso.

"What about you, Mayor Mills? Do you have any information for miss Mills on the subject?"

"No."

"My mother had two healthy children, and that's about all I know." Zelena stated, coming to Regina's rescue. She had started picking on a thread on her sleeve, and was probably more nervous than she let show.

"Miscarriages are often hereditary, for some reason or other…,"

The retched hag looked intently at Regina and was clearly trying to get her to spill something, but all she got in return was a menacing stare.

"No they are not! Miscarriages are so common you will find them in any family if you look."

"But your Majesty, it's best to know..."

"I'm not your Majesty any more, but if you don't get on with the rest of the procedures, you'll see that Madam Mayor will be just as unwise to cross!"

Nurse Hamilton gave an indignant huff and turned to Zelena.

"Lift your shirt, I'm just going to feel your stomach."

Regina couldn't keep her eyes off the protruding stomach. Of course she knew that what she saw was the result of the constipation and bloating Zelena had mentioned among her symptoms, rather than an actual baby bump, but still, she felt that ugly sting of belly envy. Zelena didn't miss the glances.

"Enjoying the view?"

Before Regina could come up with an answer, Zelena gave an audible hiss, sat straight up and flung her legs to the floor.

"Ow! You did that on purpose! Get your hands off me you dirty old hag! God, that hurt!"

Apparently, nurse Hamilton had found some trapped air, and the effect was rather unexpected. Zelena stood up and took a few steps while softly stroking her stomach before she stood cross legged and looked desperately for a way out. She was getting increasingly paler, and started to look like she couldn't decide whether to hurl or pee. Noticing this, nurse Hamilton (You should be called Ratchet! Regina thought to herself) and picked up a lidded glass and a long hospital shirt.

"Let's get a urine sample from that little bladder of yours, and put the shirt on. Keep your knickers off, because we're doing the pelvic exam when you return."

Zelena snatched the objects from her and popped off to the toilet, swiftly as the Ghost Who Walks, and Regina suddenly realized she was alone with a person she wanted to avoid even more than her sister.

"And how are you these days, your Majesty?"

"Cut it with the "Majesty". Don't make a fool of yourself."

"Eating well and healthy? You always were a picky eater."

"That's none of your business."

"Have you had your regular check-up?"

"I fail to see why this is any of your concern. I'm here to keep an eye on my deranged sister, not to get a medical exam."

"Do as you please. I only want the best for you, as always."

Regina felt an involuntary shiver run up her spine. She should never have come. That woman saw straight through her, and would surely never keep her mouth shut.

She turned towards the door when the clicking of the handle announced Zelena's return, just to keep the focus away from the midwife. She kept talking, none the less.

"I'm sure I'll see you within the next week or two. We can continue this conversation then."

Regina shot her a piercing look, but all she really wanted to do was to scream and evaporate her on the spot.

"Feet in the stirrups, love, and then we begin with a pap smear to check for cervical cancer."

Zelena's did as she was told, but her eyes grew in anguish when she saw the speculum, and she turned her head to the wall to avoid eye contact with both Regina and the midwife. Regina heard a sharp intake of breath as the obviously cold speculum entered, and Zelena's whole body went rigid. Her knuckles were going white as she grabbed for dear life onto the bed.

The smear was over in no time, and Zelena relaxed again when the speculum was removed.

"We're going to perform a transvaginal ultrasound to determine how far along you are."

"Transvaginal what?"

"I'm putting this probe up your vagina, and with the help of high frequent sound waves, we'll be able to get an image of your uterus and foetus."

Zelena nodded weakly, but the moment the probe was well inside and Nurse Hamilton started to move it around a bit, she was swallowing hard and repeatedly.

"She's going to vomit!" Regina yelped and looked desperately for something to catch it in. Nothing was in immediate reach, so she conjured a basin and tucked under Zelena's chin just in time. She couldn't, however, keep her acidic comment to herself and spat;

"You are a delicate flower, aren't you. Disgusted by a probe!"

"This," nurse Hamilton pointed to the black and white screen, "is your uterus. You can see the dark area in here, that's the gestation sac filled with amniotic fluid."

Regina's stomach plummeted. She knew. Of course she knew. Had known from that horrible moment in New York. But seeing it on screen was different. Vastly so.

The image shifted, and Nurse Hamilton continued.

"This ring over here is the yolk sac, and this little bean shaped grey area is your baby, Miss Mills."

Zelena turned her head back from the wall and squinted at the screen.

"That's my baby?"

"Yes, and it seems we have a heartbeat. Congratulations! This looks like a healthy pregnancy so far, and just about 6 weeks according to the measurements. This coincides nicely with your last period."

This time, it was Regina who was feeling faint and queasy. Zelena just kept staring at the monitor with a slack jaw. Regina took out her phone and captured a photo of the screen. Robin might want to see it, she reckoned.

They went back towards the cellar in a blissful silence, but Zelena just had to speak.

"What's the deal with you and the midwife?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah right! You looked as if you were ready to rip out eachother's throats."

"She's grating my patience"

"Have it your way. I'm not too fond of her either."

Regina really didn't feel like talking about it any more, in case she spilled something. Zelena didn't feel like keeping quiet just yet, though.

"Did you know they could take a picture of unborn babies?"

"Yes. But I didn't know about the transvaginal version."

Zelena paled at the mentioning.

"That was uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry, but I can't dig up sympathy for that one. It's not as if she raped you."

"It certainly felt like it," she mumbled

"No, it did not! If you think that felt like rape, you have no idea, and thus you should shut up!"

Funnily enough, she did shut up, and went back in her cell without protests of any kind.

Regina's plan was to return to work after having put Zelena away, but after the little visit to the OB, that plan had went down the drain. She was totally knackered, to the point she didn't know if a stroke of a feather would have her crumbling in tears or drift off to a peaceful sleep. Going home seemed like the right choice, and she couldn't muster the strength to even feel half bad about it. In a daze she disrobed and headed straight for the bedroom, where she stripped out of her clothes and unceremoniously dropped them in a heap by the bed before she buried herself in the cotton fluff.

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. A mild breeze rustled through the leaves, and the delightful shrieks from Roland as Henry kept chasing him around the lawn in their backyard sent sweet, sweet sparks through her. A soft pawing and tugging at her left breast shifted her focus back to her daughter. As she happily suckled, Regina couldn't quite understand how she had produced something this perfect. She kept stroking that shiny silk black hair, caressed her ears and marvelled in the soft fluff behind them. Perfect, slightly almond shaped, eyes peered up at her before they blinked and closed. The content purring from the infant and pinpricks by ten perfect little claws made her feel like the luckiest woman on earth. "You are by far the most perfect girl I ever could have asked for, Titicaca." she murmured and smelled the top of her head. The slight tickle of whiskers when Titicaca yawned and let go of her nipple made her giggle. The kitten snuggled closer, and Regina covered her breast again. She traced the bridge of her daughter's nose, and lifted her lips to marvel at the formidable fangs that had come out the last days. Everything was utter bliss. That was, until Snow showed up and broke the magic. "You can't be serious, Regina! That's a cat!"

"She's my daughter!"

"It's unnatural and disturbing!"

The entire town had gathered in her back yard, and they all supported their princess. Titicaca had woken up, and began to squirm. Regina held her in a firm grip and tried to calm her down, but as someone threw a basketball on them, the previously sleeping ball of fur was an exploding ball of a thousand claws. Regina was helpless and six red stripes on her chest started to ooze as Titicaca had kicked herself off her lap and headed for the road. "NOOO!" Regina screamed and ran after her, through the jeering crowd, and around the hedge. But she was too late. She knew the moment she heard thee screeching of brakes and skidding of tires on asphalt. Even before the thud and the sickening crushing sound of a fragile ribcage being demolished could be heard, she knew. And she screamed! The sound she made came from deep, deep within her soul, and it felt as earthshattering as the sight of that perfect little black being in a puddle of blood and guts. She didn't think, just knelt down and scooped the remains in her lap. The crowd had gathered around and kept cheering. And Regina cried. Petting the lifeless body, clutching it to her chest, rocking back and forth. And howling.

She woke to that strangled, pained howl, and she was drenched in sweat and tears.

God, I can't stop shaking! It's just a dream!

The clock showed 5:47, and it was time to get ready anyway. Everybody were supposed to meet up at Granny's at 7:30. She could hear Henry was running down the stairs, so he was probably starting to get ready too. Robin had planned to get ready somewhere else, as he had spent his day with Roland and the Merry men in the forest.

Dreams, sisters and ugly midwives would have to wait until another day to be handled. The sleep had worked like magic, and she was able to shake it off in just a few minutes, only leaving a nagging black spot in the pit of her stomach.

The party at Granny's was to her taste. She felt rather festive, actually, and sitting in a booth with Henry looking through the storybook made her heart soar.

"Hello Love!"

She tilted her head up towards the sound and received a soft hello-kiss on the lips. He slid into the booth and sat down opposite her.

"So, not to puncture the party, but did you check on Zelena?"

"Still locked up, still pregnant"

He looked down, and his smile left him. She, on the other hand, couldn't keep the smile away and continued;

"But that's something we'll be able to deal with."

He smiled a bit lopsided and took her hand.

"Together."

He kept stroking her hand with his thumb, and she imitated the motion by stroking Henry on the back in a similar fashion.

"So. Will is looking after Roland..." His flirting lilt was back. "Perhaps I could take you for a walk in the moonlight?" He tilted his head and smiled. She let out a little giggle.

"Perhaps."

Henry just smiled and ushered them off with his telling gaze, and they walked hand in hand out of the diner and into the silent street.

"How was the doctor's appointment?"

"It was a bit of a roller-coaster, to be honest. The doctor was not present, but the midwife was. To my great displeasure, she is the old midwife in King Leopold's employ, and I think she probably smelled my pregnancy a mile away." She shuddered.

"The worst part was definitely when she tried to make me talk about my miscarriages to inform Zelena of pregnancy difficulties in the family. At least I know Zelena had no previous knowledge about them, and probably still doesn't know. Or that I'm pregnant."

"Is she the only midwife in town?"

"I don't know. I didn't even know she got that position during the curse. I had dictated some of the fates of my subjects, but the rest was taken care of automatically, so to speak. And frankly, I never even thought of midwifery as an option in a town frozen in time. Nobody was getting pregnant anyway.

"I would need another doctor too. I can't bear the thought of Whale between my legs. I don't even know how Mary Margaret could survive to go to bed with him."

"She did what?"

"Oh, yes, she had a one night stand with Doctor Frankenstein."

"God."

"Yes, that's a way of expressing it."

He pulled her in for a kiss, and she smiled and kissed him back. Then she remembered the sonogram, and found her phone and sent him the picture.

"I've got a picture of Zelena's peanut."

"What?"

He looked rather taken aback.

"I told you about the ultrasound. You can see the baby inside. Look – that peanut-shape is the baby. It's 6 weeks, and has a heartbeat..."

She really didn't want this. Not at all. And Robin was mesmerized and mindboggled by the ways of this world's ever surprising technology.

When they closed in on Main Street again, they could hear a commotion, and they both ran towards the noise.

Everything had happened so fast. They were all on Main street, and suddenly Regina had been caught by the darkness that was no longer tethered to Rumplestiltskin. What had made the darkness choose her? They didn't know, but Emma, in an act of either heroism or stupidity – Regina still suspected a combination of the two – had taken the dagger and tethered the darkness to herself.

Stupid stupid stupid!

And then there was nothing but a dagger with the name Emma Swan. Emma was gone, and the whole Charming clan had blamed her. Of course. And why wouldn't they. She wasn't sure she didn't blame herself. At least Henry still stood by her. Unlike that stupid pirate! When it was obvious Emma wasn't in this world, they had all gone to the apprentice to get advice. Of course he only had Merlin's wand, and to open a portal they needed a wielder with both light and dark magic. And she had failed. Again.

The defeat felt like acid burning her insides, tears threatening to spill at any second. She stood in front of her full-length mirror and brushed her hair as she got ready for bed. She could see Robin putting his clothes on a chair by his side of the bed, before he came walking up behind her. He kissed the top of her head and started carefully massaging her shoulders.

"You know, he didn't mean it like you think. Not all the things he said"

"Oh yes he did."

"He just witnessed his girl becoming the Dark One. What would you expect?"

"I don't know. But he's right about my magic, though." She sighed. "I can't seem to get access to all the shades of powers I know I possess. I don't know if I've lost parts, or if it's just harder to reach. No matter what, I can't wield the wand and make a functioning portal."

"Do you think Zelena can?"

"I'm not sure. After all, it requires dark and light magic, and all we know of Zelena and white magic is that it defeated her. However, that doesn't mean she can't possess it."

"Love, don't beat yourself up about it."

She sighed and leaned back into his lap.

"It's not all that easy, you know."

"I know. But you're not alone in this. We'll go through it together, and draw strength from each other. The Charmings will calm down eventually. This is not your fault, and I know you can do it."

They slipped down under the duvet and lay nestled together. Her heart was getting back to normal speed, and she was calming down. She kissed his chest and let out another sigh of content. He was good – very good. She loved him. Really loved him. And best of all – she believed him!

A/N, updated November 17th 2016:

So, that's the end of "Meatloaf". At last. I'm so happy for every page view, follow, favourite and review. I'm sorry this dragged out, but some things were harder than anticipated, and others were…well…you know.

I realise I might have uploaded chapter 9 in a sensitive week. I got hardly any response to it, and it made me think a bit. I also had a week long discussion with a reader who hadn't read my story (and hopefully never will) just after I posted it. This discussion made me think and rethink my motives, my execution of the story and the future of what I'm going to write. I know I tried to deal with some touchy subjects, though I have yet to come across a reader who has been offended by what I have written and told me so. However, I know I can't please everybody, and apparently, it's in my nature to infuriate quite a few, so I guess there are people out there who hate my writing too.

I'm having ideas to continue the plot in a new story, but I'm not sure if I'm going to do it or not. If inspiration strikes, and I can get it out on paper, then sure. I'm not going to do anything before I know exactly where the show is going, though. I need to know when I'm going to completely separate my fiction from canon, and that is not certain yet. Although, a certain death (*I'm still not accepting it!*) is never going to enter my little bubble of fanfiction. I know I'm cruel and take a certain pleasure in writing what I do, but honestly – I'm a sucker for Regina, and in my opinion, nobody is better at punishing her than herself. She has quite enough going on in her head to drag her down.

Thanks again for everybody who has been reading this. I'm so glad you did, and I'm especially happy if you liked it.