Rafael Barba walked into the squad room the following morning to find the only familiar face to be the captain's in his office. He paused before walking straight over and entering the room. He closed the door behind him, swallowing.
"Captain Cragen."
His voice was still as brisk and sharp as always. The captain looked up.
"Mr. Barba. What do you need?" Cragen asked.
"I just dropped by to pick up the extra files 1PP said you had." Barba replied.
Cragen stood up and went to the filing cabinet in the corner of his room. As he shuffled through the drawers, Rafael spoke again.
"How is she?"
His sincerity and concern made the captain look up. He shook his head.
"She's hanging in there." He replied.
"And the case?"
Barba shifted his weight to his other foot as he leaned against Cragen's desk.
"CSU has him on surveillance two hours before she came home. But he caught a break again. Camera in her hallway was not functioning at the time he would have been there." He sighed in defeat.
If there was a break to catch, Lewis caught it.
"What about DNA, trace, fingerprints?" Cragen felt his heart begin to race as he thought of the possibility of this guy getting away as a free man again.
He had said he wasn't finished with Olivia, and Cragen knew if he had a chance to get to her again, she wouldn't come out alive. Barba shook his head.
"They're still in the apartment and waiting on primary results. Lewis is being transported from Bellevue to Central Booking tonight. His lawyer is already down my throat for failing to inform her that he was in custody."
A silence erupted between them as Cragen located the files and reached to hand them to him.
"He didn't - did he?" The lawyer had a timid quality to his voice, one that Cragen had never before heard from the spunky man.
The captain shook his head. "No. She fought like hell."
He nodded. "I'll need someone to take her statement when she's strong enough. I'll talk to her about the case when she's ready. Trial begins again on Monday if he doesn't take the deal."
Cragen snapped his head up. "You offered a plea deal?" His eyes were wide.
"I wanted to at least attempt saving Olivia from having to testify." His tone was, again, low and calm, his words slower than he'd ever spoken them before.
Captain Cragen actually felt shocked at the man's focus on his friend and colleague rather than putting his own agenda first.
"What's the deal?" He questioned.
Rafael picked up his briefcase after putting the files inside. He held it as it dangled at his side.
"He pleads guilty to attempted murder, attempted rape, and assault on a police officer. 40 years with the possibility of parole after 35 years served."
Cragen nodded, still feeling that it was not long enough. He wanted that monster locked away until the day he died in the very cell he'd sat for years for attacking Olivia.
He couldn't speak. Barba nodded at him silently and then began to leave the office. He left the captain in the silence of the room. Cragen watched him go, and after he had disappeared, took out his phone and called Cassidy. That was just about as good as getting a doctor.
He was always at her side, and so far Cragen was impressed with him.
"Yeah, Captain." He answered, his rough voice unmistakable.
"Just checking in. How is she?" Cragen asked in reply.
"Well she's wide awake if that was what you were wondering. Doc's got her on painkillers, but he downed her dosage."
Cassidy stood up from the side of the bed and left the room after holding up a finger to Olivia as to motion his prompt return.
"She's in some pain, but she's handling it well." He finished.
Cragen nodded. "They know when she'll be released?"
A pause.
"They're still monitoring blood pressure and everything. I haven't heard anything official, but I think they'll be keeping her for three or four more days, just to make sure."
Cassidy sat back down in the room with Olivia.
"Alright. Well tell her the squad is missing her. Thanks, Brian."
"Sure."
Cassidy hung up the phone and turned back to where Olivia was lying. He could tell she was hurting. He could see it in her eyes as she struggled to keep from squirming uncomfortably. Her forehead was beginning to head with sweat as her heart pained in its beating. He reached over and pressed the call button. A nurse immediately appeared in the doorway.
"Everything ok?" She entered.
"I think I could use a few more drugs." Olivia grit her teeth as she closed her eyes a little.
She could take a lot, but this was too much.
The woman nodded, "I'll bump the dose up a little."
She expertly felt around the IV bag and did her work before stepping back and waiting for the painkiller to seep into Olivia's veins. Olivia began to feel relief only minutes after the nurse had fixed her problem.
"Feel it?" The nurse questioned.
"Yes. Thank you."
She watched the nurse leave the room and then turned toward the man that had taken her by surprise. He smiled at her, leaning forward in his chair.
"Captain says the team misses you." Despite the pain it caused her, she put her sore hand in his.
She paused, not even going to formulate a response. She changed the subject.
"You don't have to stay here, Brian. I know you have a life to live."
She gave him a smile in return. He held her hand gently and shook his head.
"There's no point in living my life if I can't spend my time where you are." He replied softly.
She sighed compassionately. He was a keeper.
"Besides, there's so much to do here."
She smiled wider as he looked around the room.
"Stare out the window, read this magazine for the millionth time. It's great."
When she laughed a little, it hurt. But it was a good hurt. They stopped their conversation and just watched each other for a silent moment. Her black eye and blackened cheek gave him goosebumps, guilt taking over him again.
She read what he was thinking as she watched him. She breathed deeply and moved her hand in his.
"What he did to me wasn't your fault, Brian." She let the words sink in.
He didn't ever break eye contact.
"I could have done something. I should have been there."
He found his lips moving on their own accord as his heart spoke. Liv gave him a small smile and then shook her head slowly.
"You have been - for the last two days." She replied reassuringly.
Brian felt a calm go through him as he relaxed. Her words struck a chord of harmony within his body. He had to know it was true.
"I'm sorry." His voice dropped to a whisper.
Olivia moved her finger around on his hand.
"I know."
The thoughts were running through his head at a million miles per hour, but yet he felt free and calm when he met Olivia's eyes.
He sighed.
"You know I've been thinking a lot about - us."
She took a deep breath, trying to forget the pain she could still feel pricking at her nerves.
"And I saw something in that magazine when you were being antisocial."
She smiled at him. His humor did that to her, and she never wanted it to end. It felt good to smile. He smiled back as he gently caressed her hand in his.
"Here."
He took his one hand from hers and reached for the single magazine on the table beside him. He flipped through it before stopping at the page, the simple page that held only colorful words encased in quotation marks. He held it in front of her so she could see. Olivia read the words.
'Life is short. There is no time to leave important words left unsaid.'
She looked up at him when she finished reading, a small smile on her face, an even smaller tear in her eye. He replaced the magazine on the table and took her hand in both of his again. He looked her straight in the eye, knowing he had passed the point of no return. If he said what he needed to say, that would be that, and he couldn't go back. But he didn't want to go back. He sighed for the thousandth time, or so it felt.
"Liv -" Brian stopped when he saw her face again.
Olivia already knew what he was going to say, but she waited to hear it for sure.
"I really screwed up 13 years ago." He began with his honest feelings.
"If I wouldn't have, I would have had 13 more years with you, this, us." He looked down for only a moment.
Olivia swallowed. The words were ready to come out of her too, and once he said them, she would tell him the same. He swallowed almost as hard as Olivia had.
"I've never said this before and actually meant it like I do now. I love you, Liv."
She felt a tightening in her throat as she tried to contain her tears. She felt the familiar twinge of pain as she squeezed his hand gently and nodded.
"I love you too." She replied, her voice almost choked off.
Brian smiled at her, feeling relieved, happier than ever. They held their gaze for a long moment.
"Now rest up, so I can get you out of this god-awful place." He said after the pause.
She smiled again. It was no chore around him.
"You want to go ask the doctor when they'll let me go?" She asked.
Her voice was lower than usual, crackly almost. She wasn't tired anymore, just in pain.
Brian sighed, "I already asked him - three times."
She raised her eyebrows a little, to which he answered by standing and placing her hand next to her again.
"Alright. But this is the last time."
She gave him another small smile. He'd never grow tired of seeing it. Now, after almost losing her, he knew how lucky he really was. He had screwed up, but he had gotten her back, and he planned to hold onto her for as long as he possibly could. She watched him leave, a smile still on her face. She was a lucky woman. She winced as she shifted herself in the bed. The pain infiltrated her again, this time with much power. Maybe not so lucky.
Elliot rolled himself out of the hotel bed and got dressed, walking out of the building into the warm air of that Thursday morning. He got in his vehicle and traveled through the streets of the city he used to own. He used to own it with her. But now he'd rather die than see the look he had on her face.
He should have told her what she'd meant to him. He should have said goodbye. The car took an unexpected jerk when he turned abruptly onto the precinct's street and pulled into the parking lot across the way. He had almost forgotten where he had been going.
The walk into the building, the stop at the front desk to be cleared to go up, the unfamiliar elevator ride up to the squad room had the memories flooding back. And with them came guilt. He paused when the doors opened on the floor he had gotten off every day for over a decade of his life.
Hesitantly, Elliot took the hallway and entered the squad room, which was as busy as he'd remembered it. He saw the man he was looking for as he stood in the office where he'd always been. Elliot walked past the unfamliar faces in the room as he headed to where he needed to be.
He failed to knock, but entered of his own free will. The captain looked up.
"Elliot Stabler."
He knew that tone. It was one he was too familiar with, even though it'd been 3 years since he'd last heard it. Elliot shoved his hands in his pockets, and readied himself to ask for help.