It takes Marian several moments to process his words, to understand that the man she loves - the man who is her husband - is admitting to lbeing in love with someone else. Not that it's the surprise that it probably should be (or perhaps it shouldn't be; they've been together for the last five months and it's felt like she's been living with something of a complete stranger the whole time), but it's still a body-blow to hear it.
"Marian," Robin says softly, his hand reaching out for hers.
That's when something snaps inside of her. That's when everything she's been holding back - all of the anger and the hurt - it all just explodes and she feels a thousand different emotions at once. With one hand she pushes him roughly away from her and with the other, she pulls him back and strikes him.
His eyes close as he accepts the contact and that angers her even more.
"Stop doing that," Marian growls at him. "Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Stop being resigned to all of this like there's nothing you can do about it. I'm not just some obligation, Robin. I'm your wife. Or at least I was that."
"You still are," he tells her.
"And that's the problem," she snaps back. "Because you don't want me to be. You want to be with the woman responsible for us losing each other."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes, it is," she says as she steps towards him and grabs hold of each of his biceps. "It was you and me, Robin. We were the great epic story and then I…then she captured me and she executed me and we ended. She destroyed us but instead of despising her as I do, you love her. You're in love with her.""
"We ended," he agrees. Then, "How did she capture you? I've thought so long about that day and I figured it happened because I left you behind in that town while John and I went after King George. But she didn't know who you were. She never knew that she had Robin Hood's wife, did she?"
"No," Marian replies. "I refused to tell her who I was."
"Then why were you arrested?"
"She thought I was helping Snow White." She lifts her head up and looks at Robin. "I did what you would have done and I protected the innocent."
"You didn't come home to us," he says dully.
"You're blaming me for this?" Marian demands, her eyes wide in disbelief. "I'm alive because of Emma. Ifnot for her, I'd be dead because the woman that you are going to have a perfect child with was going to have me strung me up by a rope as an example for anyone who would help Snow White!"
"I know," he says softly, swallowing hard. "I know."
"And you're okay with that?"
"She's not the same."
"She's still the one responsible for us…for us ending."
His eyes flicker up towards her and she thinks she sees tears on his lashes.
"Because we are over."
"Marian -"
"Don't. I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you, Robin. This hurts more than you can even begint o imagine because I don't have years of dealing like you do. All I know is that the day before I came to this awful town, it was our story and you looked at me the way that you look at her. And you don't look at me that way anymore." She shakes her head. "But that's not even the worst of it. The worst is that you were my very best friend even more than you were my husband and for the last five months, you have been lying to me about who your heart belongs to. And you've been letting me lie to myself. The worst of this isn't that you stopped loving me as you wife, it's that you stopped loving me as your friend. You betrayed me. You. Betrayed. Me."
"You're right," Robin agrees, feeling as though he's just been punched right in the stomach with the truth. "I was trying…I was trying to be honorable."
"By treating me like an obligation instead of a friend? I deserved better from you. How could you ever believe that being with me when you didn't want to was the honorable thing to do? You treated me like a task instead of as someone who actually mattered to you. I suppose my only consolation here is that you discarded her just as easily, didn't you? You chose your code of honor over love for either of us so I guess nobody wins here. Not even her. "
She's being cruel now and it hurts him even more that she is because this is so unlike her. And while he has changed so very much, Marian hasn't at all.
"I never…I was trying not to hurt either of you. I never wanted to hurt you."
"And yet that's exactly what you've done. Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? I might have hated you for it, but I would have forgiven you for it."
"And now?"
"Now I'm going to walk away from you before I say things that I can't take back. But here's one thing I won't take back: I deserve more than someone who doesn't love me. I deserve more from you. You want to be with that horrible woman, then be with her, Robin. Don't let me stand in the way of your great and epic love story." She spits the words out, tears on her face.
"Marian, I'm -"
"If you apologize again, I won't be held be responsible for my actions."
Robin steps backwards, and then just watches as she walks away from him, her head held high in a way that reminds him uncomfortably of Regina.
There's so much strength and pride there and…he feels his heart seize as Marian's words wash over him. As the truth of his actions finally crush in on him. He's lived his life by a strict code of honor for so very long now, insisting upon it above everything else in his life, believing it to be an absolute.
Only now there's this.
A shattered code of honor that has left everyone in ruins.
Heartbreak everywhere.
And only himself to blame for it.
"What happened?" Archie says kindly as he places the warm steaming cup between her shaking palms. He's started stocking ginger tea for her, especially since she's been coming here somewhat frequently over the last couple months. She's been fighting hard, struggling against her darker feelings and her impulses. He's proud of her, but he won't say that to her because she'd see it as a form of condescension so he waits patiently instead.
Finally, quietly, "I saw Robin before I came here."
"Accidentally or?"
"I had Emma set up the meeting. So that we could decide how much involvement he would have in her -" her eyes flicker down towards her belly and as if on cue, she feels a kick sharp enough to make her wine. "Life."
"And?"
"I decided to let him…he wants to be her father."
"And how do you feel about your choice?"
Regina almost answers sarcastically but it's the non-judhmental way that Archie is looking at her that stops her from it. "Conflicted. And selfish."
"Because?"
"Because I wanted him to choose me. To give up his precious honor and choose to stay with me and with his daughter. But he has his own family."
"You're angry with him?"
"Yes."
"Have you told him?"
"No."
Archie cocks his head. "Why not?"
"You know my anger. You know what happens when I let it run free."
"You're afraid you'll let her back out."
"I've wanted to let her back out."
"You know, sometimes you tell me that she is you and sometimes you speak of her like she's a separate entity entirely. Who is the Evil Queen to you?"
Regina thinks for a moment, her hands folding and unfolding in front of her swollen belly. She can feel that strange calming effect flowing through her again and more and more, she's come to think of it like being tranquilized.
Forcibly calmed.
Only it doesn't always work because it appears to be an instinctual kind of thing as opposed to something involved the focus and control of an adult.
Which makes sense considering it's an unborn child doing the magic.
"Regina?"
"Sorry, I was just…" she sighs. "I think my child has magical abilities."
"Oh," Archie blinks. It's a completely different topic than the one that they'd been on but he can tell by the tension in Regina's body that it matters. "I was under the understanding that you'd had Mr. Gold bind your magic."
"I did. This appears to be…hers."
"Because it's hereditary or because she's a True Love child?"
Regina flinches at that. Partially because it hurts to think that she won't get to be with her soulmate but it's even worse if he's her True Love as well. But also because she'd always found the idea that Emma's magic had been given to her because Snow and David's love had been some kind of epic love story just a bit…insulting to the rest of those who had ever or would ever have love. Not to say that they're not nauseating , but are they actually special?
So she answers, "I would assume that it's hereditary. My mother. Me. It's elemental for us. And I'm guessing it is for my daughter as well. So Rumple could temporarily bind my magic but without her consent or something of considerably far more force, he wouldn't be able to do the same to her."
"So you can feel her magic, then?"
Regina huffs at that.
"Was that a yes or a no."
"Yes. She…doesn't like it when I'm upset."
"How do you know?"
"She has this ability to…calm me. It feels a bit like I've been given downers every time she does it because suddenly everything slows way down."
"Does it always work?"
"Not as much since I've been paying attention. Which is probably why she keeps playing the drums on the inside of my belly; she has a temper."
Archie chuckles at that. After a look of annoyance, Regina does as well.
Because really, this whole thing is so absurd.
She's pregnant with the child of the man who is her soulmate. That man isn't with her but rather with his wife who should have died thirty years ago (thanks to her) and their baby is already showing an impatient and pushy personality.
Even as she seems to be trying to everyone to calm it the hell down.
Absurd doesn't even really begin to cover all of this.
Once the laughter dies down, Archie grows serious again, "Is her magic making you think about your mother even more? More than you were?"
"Yes," Regina admits. "I don't…I don't want to be her. My mother saw me as a means to an end. Any potential that she ever thought that I had, it was all there just for her to harness and weaponize. She may have loved me -"
She stops and swallows hard.
"Regina?"
"She loved me," Regina says softly, wincing again as the baby fidgets.
"Perhaps," Archie allows. "But not in the way that you love Henry. Or this child. And that matters, Regina. Your mother for anything that she may have been able to give to you didn't give you what you needed. And what you yourself have the ability to give to your children. And the desire to give to them."
"And what's that?"
"Love without conditions." He shrugs his shoulders. "You and I, Regina, we're not a lot alike, but I think that the one way that we are very much alike is in regards to our parents. Mine saw me as a means to an end as well."
"And have you ever gotten over that?"
"No," he admits. "But I've never had the chance to break the cycle as you have. And as you did with Henry. And will do with your daughter as well."
"You always sound so confident about me. You're the only one."
"That's not true, but for what it's worth, the reason that I'm confident about you, Regina, is because you come to see me whenever you think that you're falling. Not all that long time ago, you wouldn't have been able to do so."
"I want to be better. I…I want to be good enough for them."
"I know," Archie says as he stands up to refresh her cup of tea. "And that's what makes both of us different than our parents. We want to be more."
"And what about when I want more as well? When I want Robin to choose to stay with me? What about when part of me wants to force him to?"
"That brings us back to our conversation about her. Who is the Evil Queen to you, Regina? Is she a part of you or is she someone completely differently?"
"She's part of me," Regina sighs. "Even when I don't want her to be."
"Then you keep fighting her. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't."
"And when I don't?"
"Pongo likes his ear-rubs," Archie notes, gesturing to the one that Regina has been giving the sleppily happy pup since almost the moment she'd sat down.
"I suppose he does," she agrees. And then offers Archie a small smile.
He returns it with one of his own.
"Rise and shine," he hears and it's the high voice that rouses him more than the words. He forced his eyes open and looks up at Emma and her father.
"Morning," Robin grunts as he swings his legs around and places his feet on the ground in front of the cot inside of the cell. He'd come here after the argument with Marian, understanding that she'd needed space. He hadn't wanted to leave Roland, but the boy had been safe (he'd told his son that he might be away for just a short bit - as he had on occasion during their time in the Enchanted Forest - but that he shouldn't worry because before Roland would know it, his father would be back) and nothing good could have come of him and Marian being so close together at the time.
"Long night?" David asks with a frown.
"Something like that."
"What happened?" Emma queries, offering him a hand up and off the cot.
"I'm having a little girl," Robin announces, a small smile on his lips.
"And you decided to celebrate inside of a jail cell?" David counters.
"He's right," Emma notes. "Usually we bring you here, not yourself."
"Marian and I had a discussion," Robin tells them. "She…I…I was a selfish bastard the whole time and…all I've done is make a complete mess of this."
Neither David nor Emma counter him.
"I thought I was being honorable. I thought my vows mattered the most."
"Being honest matters the most," David says. "Above everything else."
"Like I said, I'm a bastard."
"You're not," Emma replies. "But feeling sorry for yourself won't help. This whole thing may suck, but this is better for everyone in the long run."
"How's that?"
"Marian deserves to have actual love, not just a husband."
"I know," Robin admits as he slumps down into the chair next to his usual desk and accepts coffee. "I spent all night thinking about it and all I kept coming back to was wondering why I ever thought otherwise. It'd seemed so simple and obvious to me what my decision had to be, but…" He winds his hand through his hair. "I don't know how to make any of this right."
"I'm not sure you can," David says. "But at least everyone knows the truth."
"At least they do," Robin says with a frown. "Part of me wanted to go see Regina last night, but I've hurt her terribly through this as well. I chose to stay with my wife over her and…and then there's the part that she played in all of this and I understand it, but…she's a different woman and I know her-"
"Twisting yourself in circles trying to logic all of this out isn't going to do you any favors," Emma tells him. "I think everyone in this gets to be allowed to feel however they feel about whatever there is to feel about. Including you."
"I think I'm supposed to do something," he says quietly.
"And you can. Once you've actually had a full night of sleep. If you want to go talk to Regina then and spill out everything, fine, but don't do it while you're coasting on fumes and don't have a clue which way is up or down," Emma suggests. "Because we all know Regina and she's going to push you. This isn't going to be like one of those slow-mo runs in the movies -" she shakes her head at the strange look he gives her. "It's going to be complicated and probably very loud because this is Regina we're talking about and -"
"And I did hurt her."
"And she hurt you," David says. "Even if it was thirty years ago."
"If you're going to move forward with her, if you're going to have a second chance, then the two of you need to talk everything out. But not while you're looking like you're about to drop dead from exhaustion." Emma reaches into her pocket and pulls out a set of house keys. "Go ahead and take my couch."
"That's -"
"I'll be here all day and Henry's at school; no interruptions. Just rest."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me; you made a mess of things and now you have to fix it."
"But we've both been there," David tells him. "Regina has as well. So get some sleep and if what you want is to be with Regina, then go and see her but know what you want to say and be honest. With her and with yourself."
"I never thought that I'd require advice on being honest," Robin muses.
"You don't," Emma says and then tosses him the keys. "Good luck."
"You're going to need it," David notes wryly.
Robin chuckles humorlessly at his words, but doesn't deny them.
It's almost eight at night and Regina is in her office, a book about hereditary magic open in front of her. She can hear Henry upstairs in his bedroom playing video games, the explosions the only sound in the quiet house.
Until she hears a soft knocking on the front door.
Frowning because of the late hour, she stands up and winces as a sharp pain goes through her back. She'd thought the morning sickness to be the worst of things but these new aches and pains that she's been feeling are far more annoying. Straightening herself, she makes her way to the door, scowling at her reflection in the mirror; thanks to her growing belly, she's taken to wearing far more casual clothes around the house and so she really hopes that whomever is on her step isn't someone who will look at her strangely because she's wearing (designer) sweatpants and an overized sweater.
Sweatpants that she has every intention of burning once this pregnancy is over because Regina Mills does not wear sweatpants. Ever. Except now.
She groans and yanks the door open.
"Robin," she announces, her head tilted.
"Hi," he says and he tries to smile but it doesn't come close to his eyes.
"Roland -"
"Is fine. But we need to talk."
"About what?" she asks. "Hasn't everything that matters been said?"
"No," he counters. "There's a lot more."
"Robin?"
"My marriage is over," he tells her.
"And that's why you're here? Because you think -"
"No. I think nothing. I expect nothing. And if nothing happens because of tonight, it doesn't change what I feel for you. I love you and I am in love with you and that's not going to change. But there are things that we need to say to each other and…I think it's time…I think it's time to be honest."
She considers his request for a moment, taking in the seriousness within his blue eyes, and then slowly, she steps aside to let him into her house.
Knowing that she desperately doesn't want to have this conversation.
But knowing that they absolutely need to.
-TBC...
