bChapter 10 - How Far We've Come/b

bulLeah POV/b/ul

I hid away in one of the many guest rooms located at the Hatter Mansion. I know I didn't really have any reason to be hiding, or had any reason to run away from Audrey, but I just wanted to be alone for a while. Was that so hard to understand? Besides, I needed to sort out my feelings, separate them and figure out what I'm going to do.

I decide to curl up against a wall underneath a window, with two books in my lap. One was a copy of Alice in Wonderland, and the other was something I just picked at random before scurrying away from Audrey.

I might as well admit I feel something for Elliot, whatever I feel I rather not label, but the thought of him makes my heart ache and cheeks burn. My feelings for him couldn't possibly be a hindrance to my returning home, could it? I groan at the thought.

Besides Elliot, there's my longing to return home and a sense of normalacy. But at the thought, I wonder if I go home I'll find my life there is too bland compared to the life I've lead here. My feelings are so torn up, how am I ever to decipher which side is stronger? To stay in Wonderland or to go home? If I stay in Wonderland, that'd be like abandoning my family, and I don't think I could do that. But if I leave Wonderland- no, I already decided that this is just a figment of my imagination and therefore if I leave Wonderland there would be no consequences. But that doesn't help what I'm feeling.

I bang my head against the wall behind me. I'm annoyed with myself, and all of the roleholders I suppose. They really weren't making things easy for me...

The door bashes in and collides with the wall, a pissed-off Blood struts into the room. How he found me I'll never know. "How idare/i you leave my office! I've been looking for you for a whole time cycle!" Damn him, that's sweet. Has it really already been a whole cycle?

"You can't keep me locked in your office, or under your surveillance twenty-four seven ya know. I needed to be alone for a while, and still do, until I figure something out. So leave, 'kay?" I muttered. I didn't actually think he'd leave, he's too prideful and stubborn to do that.

Like I knew he would, he didn't leave but sauntered over to my side and sat beside me. "We're just worried about you Leah. Honestly, even if it is a bit selfish of us, we believe we're doing what is right for you." Blood takes his hat off so it doesn't get crumpled by the wall. I can't see his expression as his black hair hides his eyes.

"Yeah, well, my life, my decisions." I wrapped my arms around the books and held them close to my chest. "Like I said, I'm still trying to figure stuff out. Nothing has been written in stone yet." Why do I say that? By saying that makes them believe there's a chance I'll stay, and I can't let them believe that.

"You'll leave. You'll find a way. You're like Alice, once you're determined and set your mind to something you won't lose focus until you've done it." His voice grew softer and maybe a bit sad, his mouth was pulled back into a tight grimace and his head bowed so his eyes were still hidden.

I didn't know what to say to that. I pursed my lips, I didn't like the fact that he compared me to Alice- yet again- or the fact that he believed I would actually leave. Though I would. Will. Sooner or later.

I turn my body to face him, hiding the books behind my back. I keep my knees close to my chest, but my feet slide under Blood's legs as he too has his legs pulled up. "Blood, if you could just help me find a way out of this world, you would no longer need to worry about me! I wouldn't be a bother anymore, so..." My sentence falters, what could I possibly say to sway him to my side of this argument?

"Even if I did know a way to leave Wonderland, which I don't, why do you think I would want you to leave?" Blood raises his head and glares at me. He doesn't seem mad, but betrayed. He leans forward just enough to press his lips softly against mine. He pulls back as quickly as he leaned forward, and I'm left just staring at him and blinking in confusion.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts Leah, but I'll think it'll take longer than you think to sort out your feelings so it'd be best to not waste your time alone in a corner of a dark room." Blood starts to get up, a somber expression crosses his face. Nothing in the way he acts or his voice explains why he just kissed me.

"How did you find me?" I barely managed to mutter out before Blood has walked out of the room.

He paused as he was opening the door. He didn't turn around as he said, "I have my ways" and then exits the room. Leaving me to my feelings and the confusion of everything that was going on. You'd think it'd be easy to hate everyone here, but the longer I stayed the harder it was to hate them.