Chapter 10
Days she wasn't required on set, Penny liked to sleep in - although she did wake up long enough to give Leonard sleepy kisses before he headed off to work. After a while she'd get up, breakfast, drink at least two coffees to get her brain firing on all four and plan her day.
Which today meant spending time figuring what else she could get Leonard for his birthday - April 29th - which was about six weeks away. She'd already gotten him one thing: a Rebel flight suit and helmet, which he knew about - obviously, as she'd insisted he come with to try it on; her man was not facing the Empire in something that didn't fit properly - but she wanted to get him something else too. The thing was there was so much stuff out there-
Superman PJ's? Nah, he only wears boxers and a tee to bed … that or a big smile hee-hee-
Batman pillows and comforter? Having the caped crusader underneath when we get a little crazy … no, definitely not-
Collectibles … what does he have … sheesh, what doesn't he have? 'Chewbacca 10-inch figure, fully detailed Limited Edition'- No, he's never been big on Chewie - unlike Howard, who swears he can speak fluent Wookie. Just sounds like he's constipated or something to me-
'Princess Leia, as seen in A New Hope' - forget it lady, you ain't movin' onto my man's shelf … hey, how about these, construction kits-
"He should be able to make one of those - I mean he puts lasers and robots together, stuff like that," Penny told herself as she scrolled down the page-
'Star Fleet Shuttle - 2013 film version. 1:35 scale. Detailed interior, including Spock, Uhura and Sulu figures'. I dunno - I can't see Leonard painting Spock's eyebrows on - not when he's that small anyway- She smiled to herself, remembering a conversation they'd had:
"So if they got the Transporter why do they need shuttles - or vice versa-"
"You want a nerdy answer or a factual one? Only bear in mind the nerdy one I'm going to have to draw diagrams-"
"See, I was thinking of getting an early night-"
"Okay - it's because there wasn't enough in the show's initial budget to build a shuttle. The transporter was SFX, which was cheaper."
"Oh … and while we're on the subject, how come they have warp drive, and the transporter, and phasers 'nd whatnot … but no pants for women-"
"Umm-"
"The answer to that sweetie, is obviously the Enterprise is designed by guys - glass elevators and lots of stairs? Just the sorta place to wear a minidress!"
###
'USS Enterprise … original TV show version … or there's the TV show remastered version … or from the movies 1 to 5 … Holy cow, you need a brain the size of Leonard's just to keep track of this stuff …'Mudd Shuttle from Into Darkness'… Sheldon hates the rebooted version, that whole Spock and Uhura thing … keeps ranting about it was Kirk and Uhura in like one episode of the original show - he started a petition-
'Jar-Jar Binks 15-inch unassembled figure. New Low Sale Price!' Not surprised he's in a sale - everybody hates that guy. I bet they wind up givin' Ol' Flap Ears away.
"Damn, I know way too much nerd!" she giggled, before returning to her search.
'Imperial AT-AT. Original unassembled model from 1980, Mint & Boxed-' I never get that - how can it be worth more if you don't take it out the box? Where's the fun in that? Leonard loved that Transporter I got him - even more when he found a Captain Kirk to go in it-
Coming home from work and finding her then-boyfriend sitting on the couch and solemnly intoning, "Energize Mr. Scott-"
"Excuse me? Are you playin' with that?"
Leonard had gone bright red: "I … ah … umm … was, you know-"
Penny had hugged him, "C'mon sweetie, it's what I bought you it for-"
That's what makes him what he is … my man. Her eyes prickled, and not just because she was coming up on her favorite (not) time of the month. I know how he worries, but he'll make an amazing dad. Way, way better than his own father was-
###
"So I was thinking - we could either do the whole mad scientist thing-"
"What, a lightning storm and those big balls with sparks comin' off them-" she folds up giggling.
"Hon, saying 'big balls' isn't remotely funny-"
Gasps and splutters from Penny suggest that actually, it is-
"-come to that, neither is telescope-"
"Leonard! Shut up before I hurt myself!"
"Penny, are we going to have a serious discussion about starting a family?"
"Hey, what's to discuss? I want kids, you want kids - I crank out a few eggs, your little guys go for a swim and BOOYAH!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, that was Penelope Hofstadter describing the process of conception - join us tomorrow on PBS when she explains the fundamentals of nuclear fission-"
"Hold on, I got this … pop goes the nucleus!"
###
Penny chewed her lip as she rubbed the pendant of her necklace between thumb and index finger; it wasn't her usual locket and chain, it was something he'd given her last Valentine's Day.
"Umm … sweetie? What is that?"
"It's a molecule made up of two atoms … see. there's atoms that are always found in pairs … and as we do so much together-"
Her arms had gone around him, "Oh Leonard-"
###
Too much choice - way too much. Maybe I should - hey … Trooper boots! Oh wow! I could get him those and then he'd only have to rent the bits inbetween, seeing as he's already got the helmet-
Penny smiled, remembering when they went to ComiCon last year-
"Omigosh that feels so good," she sighs, flopping back on the bed. Leonard lets out a relieved 'aaagghh' as he yanks off his left boot before collapsing alongside her. They spend a few moments wiggling their toes.
"Memo to self - either spend longer selecting footwear at the costume store, or go to one that does half sizes," he mumbles, "I honestly thought we weren't going to make it back - "
"Hey, I offered to carry you - "
"Yeah, but your feet were hurting too - and there's my dignity - " Penny pulls a face:
"Oh balls to your dignity Leonard - if anybody'd asked we just tell 'em we're the last survivors of the Battle of Endor, escaping from those little furry guys."
"Actually hon, we were escaping from those little furry guys - "
"Yeah, when Bernadette started telling Howard he didn't understand the value of money it was a good job there was that life-sized Jabba the Hutt to get behind."
"Never argue with the custodian of the joint account - especially when she starts waving a spear." Their ungloved hands link as Penny gently rests her cheek against his plastic shoulder.
"So how would you rate it so far?"
"Between the fighting Ewoks, Princess Amy having to have that contact flushed out from round the side of her eye and Raj splitting his Lando Calrissian pants- "
"-Emily was so supportive though - he normally freaks out for days if he think's he's put on weight-"
"-and not forgetting Sheldon's voice changer getting stuck - " Penny booms, "No, I'm not in character - I can't turn this thing off! Does anyone have a screwdriver?"
"The Dark Lord of the Sith having his head fixed by ET - who had to stand on a box - now that's not something you see everyday."
"Betcha it's on the Internet already - hey, I wonder if anyone's posted a clip of us?" He grins:
"Yeah, us holding hands and me carrying your blaster rifle for you - "
" - is absolutely adorable!" she squeaks.
"I was gonna say 'and cue the sound of massed barfing'- "
"Shut up Leonard - I'm getting another picture." she holds up her cell and snaps them both lying side by side in their Trooper outfits. "My Mom 'n Dad'll love these - "
"You told them we're not Robocop, right?"
"Sweetie, they do know about Star Wars," Penny laughs, "probably a whole lot more now than they ever wanted to-"
"Shall we get undressed?"
"Does that involve standing up? Only I'm not sure I can do that right now."
"C'mon sweetie, I'll help - "
"Can't I just stay like this? I mean it's not so bad - "
"I am not sharing a bed two nights with Leonard-In-A-Can. Now roll over here Troopie- " he does so and she starts to peel the Velcro fastenings apart. He chuckles:
"Now I know how C-Threepio felt on Cloud City … did you know I had to almost dismantle myself to go to the bathroom? Next time I'm hiring one with a hinged codpiece."
"One - too much information, two - try wearing tights a day or so, and queuing for the bathroom, then you'll have somethin' to complain about." she grumbles, carefully stacking their rented armor in a pile. "Are we gonna wear this stuff again?" Leonard shakes his head:
"No way, unless I can find a way of sneaking my Converse past Sheldon."
"Huh, I'll wear my Uggs too and he can piss 'n moan as much as he likes - "
"Actually hon, that would be kind of a lot - "
"Pfft. Water off a Trooper's lid."
"Hmm … okay hon, let's get you unlatched-"
"Ooh, I love it when you do da dirty talk… oh gee that feels so good-"
"Kind of cramped in there?"
"Yeah … the Empire is definitely not catering to it's female Troopers, well, not the ones who're bigger than a A-cup anyway-"
"Talking of outfits … umm, is Yeoman Penny going to be making a personal appearance? I see you brought those boots-" he asks, eyebrows twitching like a pair of excited Tribbles.
"I'm pretty sure she will … I dunno why you get so het up … that outfit's almost bullet-proof below the waist - 'sides, my pantyhose goes so far up the waistband's keepin' my boobs warm!"
"Oh … are they cold? Only I could help - "
Penny eye rolls then taps his chin, "If we have a daughter I'm tellin' her to stay away from the Chess Club … Sheesh, you guys are worse than the jocks!"
###
"Need more coffee … " she murmured, going over to the machine, then coming back to her laptop. She kept meaning to get a notebook, but the thing had sentimental value - Leonard had reformatted the drive and added memory, just after they'd gotten back together.
Hmmm … no - he won't get much use out of them, and without the armor it'll look like Casual Friday on the Death Star-
Ah, now this's the thing! 'Rebel X-Wing - original model from 1978, in original packaging and unopened - wingspan twenty-two inches-' wow, he could almost climb in that and fly it! Beats that one he's got on the desk in his lab - okay, add to basket-
###
Friday, April 29th-
"You okay Penny?" he asked the bathroom door; she'd been in there an age-
"I'm fine! Just go back to bed sweetie-"
"Well, I thought I might get up-"
"Leonard! Go back to bed!"
###
First one white stiletto'd foot had emerged from around the bathroom door, slowly followed by another, then-
Penny in a figure-hugging white dress, hair all fluffed up - he went to get up, she gently pushed him back down with a fingertip-
"Holy cow … are you being-?"
"I'm either Marilyn … or Abbi in that episode of NCIS … take your pick big guy," she purred, posing one hand on hip.
She didn't have the greatest voice, but listening to her husk her way through 'Happy Birthday Doctor Hofstadter … " made his mouth drier than summer on Tatooine-
"So you wanna unwrap your present … or save it for after dinner tonight?" she gave him a look that was pure sultriness.
"Unwrap now-" he managed to squeak out; Penny turned away - he thought she was offering him the chance to pull down her zipper, but she went back into the bathroom-
And returned with a familiar shaped package - "Happy Birthday sweetie-"
"The big X-Wing! I always wanted this but I never managed to find one - oh wow, I can't believe you got me this!" he said, ripping the paper off, then 'flying' it around the room, his 'neearrgh!' accompanied by her giggles at seeing him so stoked with his present.
"Penny … thank you - this's amazing-"
"Man with a flight suit needs somethin' to fly - and we're not done yet sweetie … you want French Toast for breakfast?"
He stood up, then gently slid his arms around her, "Yeah … but I'd like to unwrap my very special present first …"
"You know what?" she breathed in his ear as he eased down her zipper, "I was plannin' on givin' you a shave today too-"
"This's the Best. Birthday. Ever!"