'Oh my god' Eleanor exclaimed. She was standing on the stairs, dressed in a dressing gown with her hair wrapped up in a towel, and she had an expression of amusement on her face. For a moment he wondered why, then he realised that he was lying on the sofa with his ex-wife – her mother – in his arms. The only saving grace was that they were both fully clothed. 'How much did you two drink last night?'
'Too much' he replied, scratching his head wearily. After their talk they had sat in silence for a long time, and eventually they must have dozed off because here they were, being embarrassingly interrupted by their teenaged daughter. Worse still, they were both over two hours late for work, and no doubt when Serena woke up she was going to be furious. Somehow he was sure it was going to end up being his fault.
'Clearly' his daughter replied with a smirk on her face. She went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Black coffee, dry toast and a can of Red Bull for him, peppermint tea and a banana for her mother. Hangover food. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about his daughter instantly knowing what they both needed to feel better after a heavy night. 'Do you want to wake her up or shall I?' she added, nodding to Serena who had always been a heavy sleeper and was still passed out on the sofa.
'I'll do it' he sighed tersely. If Serena was going to go ballistic with anybody, better that it was him. He was used to being on the receiving end of her. 'Serena, wake up. It's time to go to work' he added, standing well out of her reach. He wasn't stupid; if she could reach him then she could throttle him for the position that he'd allowed her to get into.
'Mmm…' she mumbled, opening her eyes and squinting at him. '… Where am I?'
'You're at my house, Serena. You stayed on the sofa last night' he told her.
'With dad' Ellie chipped in helpfully. He turned and shot her a warning look. Serena was going to take this badly enough without Eleanor dining out on it for years.
'Ah…' Serena sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as she looked around and tried to get her bearings. Then she looked down and visibly relaxed when she saw that she was still fully clothed. It was still bad, but it could have been so much worse.
'I made you some tea' Eleanor handed her the mug of peppermint tea and Serena sipped it tentatively. 'What went on last night? Last time I looked, you two could hardly stand the sight of each other'
'Don't push your luck' Serena advised wearily 'What time is it?'
'We're two hours late, I've already texted Ric and Michael' he replied, cutting straight to the chase. There was no point pussy footing around and letting her work out that they were very late for work; better to tell her that it was dealt with before she had the chance to fly off the handle.
'You didn't tell them that we…'
'Give me some credit; I told them we had to take Eleanor to the doctor. And no, I didn't tell them why' he added as both women turned to glare at him. Their daughter's predicament wasn't common knowledge around the hospital and if it was going to be announced, he didn't want to be the person doing it.
'Good. Nobody else needs to know about this'
'I quite agree' he replied. The truth was he didn't care if word went round that he and Serena were building bridges – it was no skin off his nose, at worst Ric would probably want to shake his hand for taming the dragon – but he knew how fiercely Serena guarded her privacy. He'd already undermined that by turning up. He didn't want to make it even worse for her.
'What is "this"?' Eleanor enquired, pulling up a chair and pouring herself a bowl of Cornflakes, clearly enjoying herself immensely. 'You two didn't…' she pulled a face but they both knew exactly what she was talking about. He watched Serena bristle and this time he didn't hang around for Eleanor to make matters worse and start another blazing row when the other one had only just been resolved.
'No, we didn't. We were both exhausted – probably thanks to the sleepless nights you've been causing us lately. We were talking and we fell asleep. That's all'
'You forgot to mention the two and a half bottles of wine'
'We're more than entitled to a drink'
'And a smoke?' Eleanor held up the half empty packet of cigarettes and the lighter that he'd abandoned on the windowsill, smirking until he snatched it off her, faintly aware that Serena looked even more displeased about it in the cold light of day than she had when she was drunk the night before. Or perhaps he was now sober enough to appreciate the full extent of her disapproval. Either way he resented it.
'Why don't you take your cereal and go and watch You Tube videos or something?' he suggested, all his grand statements about this being her home too going out of the window. What he really wanted was to send her to her room so that he could get some peace and quiet but she was an adult now – technically at least – and it wasn't going to work.
'I'm fine here'
'Well in that case, Eleanor, why don't we discuss the part time jobs that you're going to apply for' it was Serena who piped up, and to his relief that was enough to make Eleanor decide that actually, You Tube videos in her bedroom wasn't such a bad idea after all. She was on her feet with her bowl and heading for the stairs before Serena even finished the sentence.
'Well played' he grinned, sipping his coffee. He was starting to feel human enough to think about work, which was good since Serena was never going to let him get away with calling sick.
'Years of practice' she replied with a shrug 'I suspect you've never seen her at her most aggravating before' she added. She was probably right. When Eleanor came to him her behaviour was always fine – so long as he kept her well away from whichever wife he was married to and her half brother – but that was because until now he'd never had to discipline her. He didn't get her until Saturday lunchtime so the homework had always been done under Serena's watchful eye, and all he ever had to worry about was making sure that she had a good time and wanted to come again. For the first time he realised just what a raw deal Serena had had over the years, but he knew that she wouldn't have had it any other way. She liked being in control too much.
'No, probably not' he agreed wearily 'Do you want to share a cab to work? I don't know about you but I don't think I'm in a fit state to drive'
'Are you in a fit state to treat patients then?'
'I envisage a day of rearranging paperclips for both of us' he shrugged. In his case he had to write a review of the first three months of the Primary Defense programme. For Serena there was always paperwork to do.
'Fine. Yes, we can share a cab. But I'm going to have to go home and change first; I can hardly turn up in jeans'
'Not a problem' he replied. He toyed with suggesting that she go and ask if she could borrow something of Eleanor's but he thought better of it; anything that their daughter owned was either low cut or too short, and all of it was too cheap and nasty for Serena to even consider it. 'We'll go past yours and you can run in and get changed. Just give me five minutes to jump in the shower and I'll be with you'
ooooo
As he turned the key in the lock his heart immediately sank. It had been a long day, not helped by a massive car accident that had resulted in an eight-hour stint in theatre and the fact that he'd had barely any sleep in the last forty eight hours, and now he was home he found his house overrun with teenagers. He had been hoping to relax with a beer and Sky Sport for an hour but clearly that wasn't going to happen; the TV had been tuned to some god-awful music channel and the beers were long gone. The only saving grace he could find was that Eleanor was sober, even if her friends weren't.
'Eleanor, what's going on?' he asked wearily, cornering her in the kitchen. Looking around he realised that it wasn't quite as bad as first feared. There were only a dozen kids and they weren't that drunk. Between them they'd polished off about twenty bottles of beer, which was nothing really. The biggest problem was that he was knackered and didn't want any houseguests getting under his feet.
'I said the guys could come over' she replied cheerfully 'You don't mind do you? You said I could have people over whenever I liked'
'I meant…' he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose wearily, cursing himself for not being clearer. When he'd said it was her house to invite people to as she pleased, what he'd meant was her mother, not a bunch of bratty kids who wanted to drink his alcohol and leave take away cartons all over his lounge. '… I'm sorry, Ellie, I've had a hell of a day. I'm going to bed. Can you lot try and keep it down, please?'
'Sure' she nodded, reaching out and turning down the volume on the television from deafening to merely antisocial. It was small help to him; there was no way he'd get a wink of sleep until this lot went home.
'Thanks' he sighed. In the morning, once he'd taken a strong painkiller and slept off his thumping headache he would talk to her. He needed to lay down some ground rules and make sure that this didn't happen again. For today he could think of nothing to do except go to bed and let her get on with it.
ooooo
He was halfway up the stairs when the doorbell stopped him in his tracks and he turned around, fearing that another load of kids were descending on him. He still hadn't quite forgotten about the party that Eleanor had posted on Facebook, succeeding in getting Serena's house trashed in the process. No matter how clear the memory was in his mind – and in Serena's, he suspected – he feared that Eleanor hadn't quite learned her lesson.
'Are you expecting more people?' he asked his daughter wearily, raising his voice to be heard over the music.
'Don't think so' she replied, reaching for a beer, then stopping when he glared at her.
'Don't even think about it, Eleanor. You're pregnant, you don't drink' he told her, picking his way through teenaged bodies, empty beer bottles and take away wrappers to answer the door.
'Having fun?' Serena greeted him with a grin. For a moment he was bemused, then he remembered, she'd left her car on the drive. She'd said something to him as he'd left the hospital about coming by to collect it later, but at that point his mind had already been on the cold beer that was waiting for him at home.
'What do you think?' he replied wearily 'I did tell her she could invite who she liked over'
'Yeah, but you didn't mean it' she pointed out with a laugh 'And Eleanor will take advantage if you let her'
'Yeah, I'm beginning to see that' he replied, surprised when Serena sidestepped him, walked straight over to the TV and unplugged it.
'Mum!' Eleanor looked incensed and looked to him to do something, but he didn't. Serena was doing him a massive favour and all he was interested in was going to bed. 'Dad?!'
'Come on you lot' Serena called, barely raising her voice, but then she didn't need to. She knew every one of the kids in the room and more to the point, they knew her; they'd seen her lose her rag and they knew that they didn't like it. She commanded a level of respect that he could only dream of – except from their daughter who didn't really respect either of them – and not for the first time he reflected on just how impressive his ex-wife could be. 'Time to go home'
'Thanks' he sighed, sinking down on the sofa as the kids dispersed and within minutes his house was quiet again. His daughter was giving him thunderous looks, despite the fact that he'd done nothing except fail to stand up for her, but he didn't care.
'No problem' she replied with a grin 'You'll learn to deal with it. You just need to lay down some ground rules and possibly be prepared to make yourself unpopular'
'You think I'm popular now?' he pointed out, unable to resist a smile as Eleanor stormed up the stairs.
'Nope' Serena replied, and then: 'Eleanor Campbell, stop right there'
'What?'
'Firstly, you can put that beer back and forget about it for the next nine months. Secondly, don't think you're going anywhere until you've tidied up this mess and thirdly, ask before you throw a party. You know the rules'
'But this is dad's house. He said…'
'Edward?' Serena gave him a look that urged him to stand up to their daughter for once in his life, and it occurred to him that this was how it should always have been; he and Serena working together to teach Eleanor how to behave, instead of letting their daughter constantly divide and conquer them.
'I don't mind you having one or two friends over, quietly, in your room. I do draw the line at ransacking the living room, drinking beer and making a bloody racket when you know perfectly well that I've been at work for the last twelve hours' he told her. He contemplated apologising – normally he did after laying down the law, almost like a reflex – but he held it in.
'Sorry' she mumbled and stared at the ground.
'Get on with it then' Serena raised an eyebrow and to his surprise Eleanor trudged into the kitchen, fetched a bin bag and started to clear up the mess. 'I'll be off then'
'Thanks Serena' he told her, and he meant it. He was increasingly realising that he didn't know how to deal with Eleanor and it had been less than twenty-four hours. He was grateful to his ex-wife for her intervention because she'd spared him from being ridden roughshod over, probably repeatedly. Not that their daughter wouldn't push her luck again, but at least now he was getting an idea of how best to deal with it.
'No problem. She'd try the patience of a saint sometimes' Serena replied, smirking slightly as Eleanor threw the bag of rubbish in the bin, flounced upstairs and slammed her bedroom door.
'Well, she's going to have to grow up soon' he pointed out 'There'll be no parties with a baby in tow'
'Yeah, until she manages to palm babysitting duties off on granddad and goes back to having fun'
'That's not going to happen'
'We'll see' she replied with a small, knowing, smile 'There is a reason I didn't want her living with me. I wasn't just being spiteful you know'
'I know' he sighed 'Like you say; she'll only take advantage if I let her'
'Oh she'll probably try it on even if you don't. But at least you won't feel like a total doormat' she told him 'Have a good evening, Edward'
'Thanks, you too' he replied, watching as Serena left, wishing that he could go with her.