AN: Sorry for the long wait... I've hunkered down and just about finished the story... Maybe, I never know. Anyways... Thank you for reviewing, following, and favoriting. Don't be a stranger :), you don't even have to log in to review :).
Anyways, I'm updating tomorrow afternoon as well. Enjoy!
Jasper drove her home and they waited down the street for everyone in the household to leave. Meredith refused to tell him in the car, as she was always afraid someone would overhear her. As her father left in the morning, Meredith watched the red car pull along the pavement; once it turned around the corner she deemed it safe to enter the abode. She sat down on the couch and flicked on the TV for Jasper.
The news was hurtful nowadays. Especially today. It was now the first anniversary of the day that singlehandedly ruined her life. Three hundred and sixty five days certainly pass by quickly, and it was beginning to feel like those things didn't actually happen to her. She sat her stuff down and gestured for Jasper to stay there.
Once coming back from her room, she had the old pink leather scrapbook and the box of tissues normally housing themselves in the hallway. "You know I'm in Witness Protection right?" she inquired.
"Yes," he answered, scooting over for Meredith to sit down on the baby blue couch.
She half smiled. Opening the old book, she saw pictures of Nashville unfold before her. "This is before my life got really bad," she pointed to her at fourteen years—almost fifteen—in crutches from her surgery. "About a month after this, my family moved to New York," she bit her lip.
Flipping the page, she showed him the apartment complex with all of them smiling in front of it, "I met Vito, a couple months after my fifteenth birthday, he was seventeen," he choked out his name. She positively despised him.
"You don't have to tell me all right now," Jasper reassured her. Shaking her head, she felt a nice calm come from him and sighed in delight. This might actually make it easier.
Meredith shook her head to try to get her story straight. The last time she rehearsed it she was in front of a judge. He deserved to know what he was getting into. "I dabbled in drugs for the longest time, Vito and I became romantically involved shortly after we met. We were toxic together. Insanely dangerous to be around each other," Meredith bit her lip. She let out a barely noticeable laugh for the stupidity of her youth. "Ended up pregnant with his kid, thought we'd both get out of the organized crime routine by then," Meredith shook in remembrance of all those fights.
"Organized crime?" Jasper raised his eyebrow. The simple twitch of the muscle sent Meredith into a tizzy; Jasper was probably making plans to kill her, like Rosalie. Meredith now had nothing to lose.
"Yeah, Vito's dumb ass would go behind his family's back and do jobs for just about anyone and everyone in New York," Meredith gritted her teeth. "Anyways, I had a son, on my seventeenth birthday, Will," she let a few tears trickle down her cheek. "After three months of not doing anything mob related, not hurting me, not getting into one fight with me, he insists on one last run," Meredith simply let the tears fall by now.
"The families he had double crossed came together, got me and my son, kept me in some hellhole for three days until they found Vito. They gave Vito a choice."
By this time she had really lost it. Jasper had pulled her into a hug almost as soon as she began crying. It was comforting for her since the last time she told her story all a judge did was rap the hammer on the raised wood block and her mom gave her a threatening look. All at the same time though, she was expecting him to snap her neck. He was able as well. Harrowingly able. "The choice was me or Will, and as much as I begged him to take me, he choose our son," she cleared her throat, and began shaking in anger. "After that three days of hell I went through to save my son, Will died anyways, right in front of my eyes," she whispered lightly into Jasper's eyes.
"It's not your fault, you couldn't control what they did," Jasper held onto her tighter. Meredith tried to focus on the sincerity she hoped Jasper had with his means of affection. She tried to repeat to herself that Jasper wouldn't hurt her, and she actually believed herself.
"I could've controlled what I did next," she burst into another round of tears. A sick smile crept up her face as she remembered what happened next. "Once they let us go into the alley, I beat him to do death Jasper, killed Vito with my own freaking hands," Meredith shuddered in her confession. Vito deserved his death, he murdered her child, Meredith didn't want to be the one to take the life from someone that night. It didn't make her much better.
Jasper didn't say anything for the longest time. "I promise you I'm not going to hurt you," Jasper's chest fell up and down out of a rhythm in a staggered beat. "You deserve so much better than that," he pulled her closer, if possible. Her tears began to soak her shirt. Love filled her and she exhaled in some kind of relief that someone still cared for her. Even though it was a relief, she cried even harder at the fact that someone didn't hate her for what she did, prompting Jasper to coo, "Sh, Sh, Sh," like she was a child.
"I'm alright," she shoved the book off of her lap. She let go of Jasper's embrace to wipe her eyes with a tissue.
"I shouldn't have pried for information like that," Jasper gently tossed his arm around her.
"You have the right to know," Meredith smirked. "I usually try to forget about it," she admitted.
So as soon as Meredith was successful in concluding the conversation of her turbulent past she went to put the book away. Jasper still watched the news unengaged with what the headlines were saying. "So you mind if I ask all about vampire stuff now?" Jasper shook his head, turning off the screen and focusing himself on Meredith's incoming storm of interrogation. "So, there are others like you?" she began.
"Yes, there's a coven in Alaska that only feeds on animals, and then there's many other nomads and covens spread around the world that feed on humans," Jasper answered intelligently.
"Has anyone else ever told a human?" she hesitated.
Jasper bit his lip to refrain from saying something, "Yes, Edward has actually."
"I have to ask…" she stuttered, trying to phrase this the best way possible, "Is my blood?"
"God yes," Jasper interrupted her query and closing his eyes. "When I first met you I didn't know what to do with myself, it's so potent and alluring, but I am finding much more attraction to you than simply your blood," Jasper divulged, closing his eyes in some kind of serene ache. She was glad to hear that.
Meredith smiled, still not knowing if it was a compliment or a fatal flaw, "What do I smell like?"
"Something… Tropical. Like Pineapple. It's very strong and prominent," Jasper still kept his eyes closed. No wonder he always looked pained around her. Throw her scent in with someone else's and he was bound to be tortured all day.
"I'm sorry," she was reminded how much pain he was in at the staggering of his breathing. Maybe if she wasn't so stubborn set on living, his life would be a lot easier. That wouldn't make her life any easier but it would make Jasper's much more leisurely.
"Don't be, it's not your fault I can barely contain control around you," he gave her a discerning look. Meredith wondered how she could help. Going closer wouldn't help; it would only make things worse. "I like your hair," Jasper complimented, "But I definitely think red suits you better."
Smirking, she was relieved all the heavy stuff was out of the way and she could return to being content with herself and those around her. It was almost like she dissocialized herself from every stimulus she came in contact with at one point or another. "Am I that…?"
Jasper fought a smile crawling up his lips, "Maybe a little bit. Brown is too meek for you."
She blushed and turned away for a second. There was virtually nothing to do. "I am a little bit of a control freak," she confessed.
"I'm more on the possessive side of control freak," Jasper casually threw out there. Meredith sat awkwardly next to Jasper for what seemed to be the longest time. It wasn't like she could say anything reassuring to that statement to alleviate the silence.
Meredith though, had a burning question that escaped her throat, "How do you… Become a vampire?"
He tensed at the query and gave Meredith a long hard glare. His eyes were frightening for split seconds but gave up their crazed nature. "You're bitten," he whispered very low.
"Does it hurt?" she peaked an eyebrow on her face. Jasper wasn't thrilled by her interrogation by any means.
Shaking his head, Meredith observed him attempting to get out of this funk, "It doesn't really matter."
Biting her lip, she begged to differ, "It does though."
"Can we move to another subject?"
"Can you stop dodging this one?" she begged, placing a hand overtop of his.
A smile settled into his perturbed features. It had worked like Meredith had planned. "Never, I'm a little more stubborn than you are," he cupped her face with her palm again.
"You may be much more stubborn, but I'm more patient," Meredith asserted. Not being able to take it much longer, she blurted out, "Do you feel obligated to me?"
"What?"
"Like, obligated, to me?" Meredith blushed, trying to not seem insensitive.
Jasper leaned back and thought deeply; at least Meredith inferred that's what he was doing. "Define obligated, please?"
Meredith thought she was going to explode at the extended duration of the conversation she never wanted to have with him. "Like…" she mused. "Like those pageant mom's that live their lives through their children, it's the best I can come up with," Meredith's face grew hot.
"Not in that sense, but obligated in the sense that I want to protect you and know you… What do you think?" Jasper held her hand, encasing it around his.
Meredith tried to put her words together so they wouldn't hurt Jasper again. That was the worst feeling in the world, when she knew she hurt him, it literally would've killed her because she refused to live like that again.
Then it hit her with utter clarity. "I used to think like the original definition, because you trusted me with your family's secrets, but now," she fumbled. Jasper didn't look angry so far, that was a good sign, "But now, it's different because I realize I want to, if it makes sense."
Jasper smiled, not as strong as Meredith would've liked, but it was reassuring. For all the cartwheels Jasper did for her, she could certainly and willingly bend over backwards for him.
She had shift later that evening, and she and Jasper bade farewell after a rather uneventful day of sitting at home and sleeping, for her, and talking about everything under the sun, except Jasper's past and anything vampire related. Regina was working with her, but the friend made herself scarce to Meredith. Every time she had the opportunity to talk to her, Regina would find something to do around the shelves.
Even during dinner break, Regina insisted she had to go upstairs, eat with her family. Meredith knew something was going on at that statement because Regina hated her family with passion. Sometimes, Meredith was convinced Regina hated her kin more than she had at a time. Nevertheless, the hunch Meredith had as reasoning for Regina's animosity was something that was so minor to be blown up to these proportions.
Fed up with this, she wanted to know why Regina despised her so. Meredith expected this silly, childish, song and dance from Harper, not her down to earth companion. The second after their shifts were both completed, she cornered Regina. "Why aren't you talking to me?"
"I spoke to you, right after dinner break," Regina crossed her arms unhappily.
Meredith was not buying that shit. Gritting her teeth, she tried to remain calm with the change in Regina's personality, "What did I do?"
"You should know," Regina scolded, "You know, he really liked you."
Meredith saw it all click into place. She had abandoned Nate for Jasper in Regina's eyes. It was true in her own eyes as well, but she never saw herself and Nate together. Sure, she liked him, and he liked her, but Nate didn't give her that sensation she had around Jasper. Even though she couldn't describe the sensation—it was trivial matters that didn't involve Regina. "Yeah, you know, it happens, and I still like hanging around Nate," she explained.
Regina was angered by this. Her face flushed new shades of red and she pushed Meredith away from her, "Shut up, stay away from Nate," Regina demanded.
"Don't touch me, and you sure as hell won't tell me what to do!" Meredith hissed.
Regina lost it completely, "I'll tell you what to do because you're being stupid! What, you're falling head over heels over Jasper friggin' Hale after three weeks of being here; I'm not the only one who sees that he's freaking toxic Meredith!" Regina took a breath to regain all the composure she lost, it wasn't successful, "Don't even give me that crap, I see the freaking marks on your forearms, Meredith how can he be good for you when you're doing that?"
Meredith was breathing heavily. She didn't know a thing. Regina had no right to come in here, not knowing her at all, telling her what to do, who to like, who to stay away from, and lay hands on her. All of these factors made Meredith one-hundred percent shakily livid. "He's not bad for me Regina, he doesn't tell me what to do, like you are right freaking now."
Regina sniffled, advancing towards the door that lead up to her family's apartment. "I'm not going to sit here and watch you waste your life away, Meredith; you know how many people die of overdose?" Regina sincerely turned back around, facing Meredith to give her a straight glance in the eye.
The scars were reminders of days past, something she was careless about covering this time. Still, Meredith was furious at Regina for doing that. It was none of her business. "I came here to get away from all of that, it's none of your business decided who and what's good for me."
Regina sniffled, not of remorse but of ferocity, "Maybe you're right, Meredith." Regina was trembling mad and looked as if she would spontaneously combust into the fierce and raging fury she radiated at the present moment. Meredith stood there, contemplating what to do next. "Maybe you're the toxic one."