A/N: IC HIT 20K AND 10 PARTS! Thank you to all readers and A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO COMMENTERS, YOU'RE THE REASON I WRITE~

In celebration, I made a Cinder x Kai Imperial Coffee fanmix called Meet In The Middle. Please listen to it, it took me a billion hours to create! *falls over*

THE LINKS DON'T WORK IN A DOCUMENT SO THEY ARE ON MY PROFILE PAGE!

Also, I thought I'd take this chance to ask if guest commenters enter some sort of u/n or something? Like literally it can be a single number or a keyboard smash, but I'd LOVE to be able to link comments together and see who's a new reader, old reader, and all! Thank you so much~

His lips were gone just as soon as they were there. His hands lingered on her cheeks, but they soon too pulled back. It was a phantom kiss; it was almost as if it had never happened.

Except Cinder's lips were tingling and her cheeks were warm and it had happened. She knew because she'd forgotten to close her eyes; she knew because for that second, his lips had been there, and they'd been warm and uncertain.

She didn't know what to say, so she didn't speak and avoided making eye contact.

"Now I feel really bad," Iko said, breaking the silence. "I didn't think you'd actually do it."

Cinder's cheeks were definitely burning.

"I..." Cinder started, then trailed off. She turned her back to them and started crawling under the covers. "I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

"You can't just leave us like that!"

Cinder's stomach was in knots. She didn't know how she felt. She didn't want to feel at all. She wanted to melt into the sheets, cease to be there, in between her sister and her...her...friend.

She. Wanted. To. Be. Alone. She wanted to leave.

Iko and Kai exchanged a look. Iko could see concern in Kai's eyes; was he worried she was angry? Did he think he'd messed up?

Iko couldn't quite read Cinder sometimes. She worried about Cinder more than she admitted out loud. Cinder had always been independent, able to stand up for herself and pick her own fights. But Cinder was also cryptic, withdrawn at times. Iko had always been good at crying her problems out and moving on, but Cinder internalized them in a way that made Iko nervous.

So she couldn't tell if Cinder was sad, or angry, or embarrassed, or simply tired because it was after 4 am and the stress on both of them was an ever-present weight, even when they tried to forget about it.

Iko moved to crawl under the covers too, but then Kai caught her eyes. She tilted her head questioningly but began to slip from the bed.

He pointed at the door and walked towards it. They were both still in their pajamas, but Iko only hesitated a second before walking out after him.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" Kai said after the door closed behind her. He was leaning against the wall, hands over his eyes.

Iko didn't know what to say. She leaned on the other side of the door, looking at the wall opposite her.

"I'm sorry," Iko said. "I really shouldn't have done that. I was just getting back at her, caught up in the hour...I honestly didn't think you guys would actually do it."

"Which is why it's my fault." Kai sighed and shifted, taking his hands from his face. "Stars, what was I thinking."

"I...I don't think it's as bad as you think it is."

Kai turned to look at her, and she met his eyes, giving him a small smile.

"You like her, don't you?" Iko asked. "That's why you're so scared? Not because you're so worried about your friendship?"

Kai considered, then nodded.

"I thought as much. There's no other reason you'd do this for a friend you only just met unless you're an unordinarily good guy. She's a fool if she hadn't noticed that." Iko sighed. "There's...something you should know about Cinder."

"Don't tell me I messed up more than I thought."

"No, it's not that. You know the real reason Cinder has never been in a relationship?"

"She hasn't?"

Iko shook her head. "No. And it's pretty natural for some people not to date so young, but it wasn't just that. Because she could have."

"You mean there were people interested in her?"

"Cinder was always withdrawn. She was always slow to make friends, and, um, there were some bullying incidents in middle school. She always felt a little out of place, but I think a lot of it was in her head."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she thought she was less approachable than she actually was. She thought people hated her. She admitted it to me once, that she thought she was at the very bottom; that she couldn't get lower because she was already nothing. So anytime someone tried to get close to her, she'd run away. Thorne was the first one to get close to her after me and Peony."

"When you said relationship..."

"I did mean friendship too, kind of." Iko lowered her head. "Don't get me wrong; I love Cinder the way she is. But I'm worried because she always tries to push people away when she should be pulling them closer. I don't think Cinder's angry at you; I think she just doesn't know what to do. She probably wants to run away. So if she starts to slip away..."

"It's not my fault."

"And you should pull her back."

"What if she doesn't want me to pull her back?"

Iko shook her head. "Trust me, Kai. She wants you to pull her back. And a large part of her already knows this."

"How do you know?"

Iko smiled. "Because you've known her for only weeks, and look where you are. I can't speak for her feelings romantically, but you mean something special to Cinder for sure."

"You mean that?"

Iko nodded. "Definitely. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's after 4 and we should both be getting some sleep. Don't sweat it so much, okay?"

"Thanks, Iko."

"It's no problem. I just want what's best for Cinder, and I can tell when someone else feels the same way."

When they came back into the room, Cinder was exactly where she was before. Iko crawled onto the other side of their bed, and Kai got into his own. Iko turned the light off.

And they slept.

It was 7 am, and Cinder was awake. She'd fallen asleep almost right after she told the other two she would, surprisingly. Her mind had been spinning, but it had also been early in the morning and she was tired and she'd willed her mind to sleep so hard that it, for the first time, obeyed her.

Three hours of sleep wasn't enough, but her mental clock had always been set to 7. She wanted to try to fall back asleep, but she didn't know if she could. Then she caught Kai's face, asleep, bathed in morning light from the window, and suddenly she needed to escape.

She got up from bed and pulled a jacket over her head and walked out to the room's balcony. She didn't really know why the hotel bothered to put in a balcony, considering the air was smoggy and the horizon was nothing more than city buildings and cars, but she appreciated it anyway. For one of the first times since starting the trip, she felt truly alone.

If she squinted and imagined hard enough, she could almost see the small apartment she'd grown up in. She could see her cluttered room, already filled with gears and parts from personal projects and work. She could see the bunk bed, where she'd always slept on the bottom bunk. Iko had the top bunk, and sometimes, when they couldn't sleep, they'd talk late into the night until they were both so sleepy they fell asleep mid-sentence.

She could see her clothes drawer and the white and blue chalk window Iko had drawn on the wall when they were ten. She could see the light on the ceiling that always flickered, no matter how many times Cinder fixed it.

Since moving away, Cinder had distanced herself not only from the place and the people but from the person she used to be. She started pulling her hair up in ponytails so that it stopped hiding her face, and when she had an opportunity to share an apartment with someone she'd never met in person, she'd taken it.

She'd put trust in people. She'd worked hard and tried hard. She maybe didn't have a lot of friends still, but she was getting somewhere, and for the most part, she was happy.

But as much as she tried to put that other girl behind her, she was still there. The panic was there when Thorne confessed his feelings, ones she could not reciprocate. Her shadow from LA had finally followed, tracked her down and pulled her back into a dark, deep embrace. Anxiety twisted its long hair around her limbs, knotted into that shaky confidence and brought it back to the floor.

Just like back then, she'd tried to run away. She pushed Thorne away. She pushed Kai away. She pushed work away.

But Kai came back. But Kai stuck with her, and so she stuck with him.

Could she really leave him? Could she really run? She was embarrassed and scared, but it was time she made up her mind. It was time she truly escaped what she'd really been trying to run from: fear.

She'd tell him tonight. And she wouldn't regret it.

Kai didn't know what made him wake up at 7:10, but the moment he blinked his eyes open something felt off.

He looked a the other bed, finding that the covers were thrown off on one side. Kai sat up quickly.

Cinder had left. But where?

He panicked, remembering that morning. Had she really run away? He didn't think Iko meant it that way, but he didn't know. He couldn't tell.

She didn't have a car, but she never said she couldn't drive. And there were buses and trains and she could—where would she—why—

His breathing steadied when he found her silhouette standing at the balcony, leaning against the railing.

She hadn't run. She was right there.

He laid back on the bed. Part of him wanted to fall asleep, but part of him wanted time alone with Cinder, maybe a chance to explain. His stomach twisted, but he knew it had to be done. Otherwise, they'd ignore it until it disappeared into the back of their minds, but it wouldn't really leave—nothing like that ever did.

And just because she hadn't left him then didn't mean she still couldn't. Once they were back in the Bay Area, she'd have no reason to be near him.

He had to do this for him. For her. For Iko, even. It was a crazy thought, really, that he had first met both of them only a month ago. What a boring life he must have had before.

He got up from bed and stretched, then tapped his hand lightly on the sliding glass door of the balcony to alert Cinder he was coming out.

She startled, turning to look at him, and for a moment he saw only panic. But then she relaxed and nodded. She didn't smile, not really, but the nod was all the affirmation he needed to step onto the balcony and close the door behind him.

"Good morning," Kai said, voice still caught in the dregs of sleep.

"Good morning," Cinder said, looking back over the city. Kai stepped forward and leaned next to her at the guardrail, a foot apart.

"The city looks pretty right now," Kai said, thoughtfully. "They say the city never sleeps, but I think it's the most peaceful at this hour, just after the sun has risen."

A pause stretched between them, both waiting for the other to speak.

"Do you want something?" Cinder asked abruptly.

"Just some fresh air. And I wanted to talk to you."

A shiver went through Cinder, but Kai wasn't sure whether it was because of the cold morning air or her nerves. His own hands were warm and he was sure his ears were slowly turning red, but he couldn't stop there. Where had that easy confidence he'd been born with gone? Even the confidence from last night, right before he kissed her?

He couldn't imagine doing that now. How bold. Even if it had been a dare...that hadn't really been it, had it?

"I'm...sorry for last night," Kai said, still not looking directly at her. "You never...said anything, so I just assumed you were okay with it...but it's pretty obvious..."

"Pretty obvious what?"

"Pretty obvious you weren't comfortable." He took a deep breath and steadied himself against the guardrail. "I hope you won't hold this against me. I'm really, really sorry, and I'd take it back if I could. But I can't and...I just don't want this to come between us."

"Is that what you think this is?" Cinder finally faced him. But now she didn't just look flustered; she looked almost...angry. Did he say something wrong?

"What?"

"You said you'd take it back if you could."

"Of course. Clearly, you didn't wa—"

"How can you know what I want?"

Kai shrunk back. "I don't. You just went to sleep after and wouldn't speak to me and—"

"You know what hurts the most?" Cinder cut him off, standing straight now.

He was almost too afraid to ask, and he let the question linger in the air before daring to respond. "What?"

"That it meant something to me. That's why I've been quiet. I needed some time to process. But—" Kai opened his mouth to interrupt, and Cinder held a hand up to let her continue. "But, clearly it was one-sided. I understand now. It was stupid of me when I should know by now. I guess I'm being childish, seeing as it was my first kiss and all, wanting it to mean more."

She walked to the doors leading into the room, back facing him.

"And you know what? I'd take it back if I could, too."

She reached her hand out to open the door, and Kai gulped.

"That's not what it is at all," Kai said, taking a step toward her, and then another.

She turned to face him, only to find him a foot away again.

"What is it then?"

Kai didn't know exactly what he wanted to say. He didn't know if he was ready to say anything. He didn't know if words were enough or ever could be.

So he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her into a tentative hug. She didn't hug him back, but she didn't push him away either, so he stayed there and searched for the words.

"Don't leave me. I know you want to run away, but..."

Cinder tensed and started to move, but he tightened his grip.

"Hear me out, okay?"

She relaxed but still didn't wrap her arms around him. It was peaceful, though, in a way he couldn't quite explain. Unable to see her expression, but being able to feel her reassuring warmth, maybe...maybe he could...

"I talked to Iko after you went to sleep," Kai whispered. "And that's when I realized I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing you again. The thought of coming back to the Bay Area and you avoiding me...that thought terrifies me. Cinder, you mean a lot to me. The only reason I would take it back..."

Kai took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and braced himself.

"Is because if that was the reason I lost you I would never forgive myself. I would take it back not because it didn't mean anything to me, but only because you mean more to me than it ever could."

Kai couldn't breathe. Cinder was limp in his arms, and he forced himself to pull away from her, to break the hug. She hated him. He had gone too far. He would never see her again and—

Just as he started to move away, she raised her arms, wrapped them around his waist, and hugged him back.

"I won't say I never wanted to leave," Cinder whispered back. "Part of me is still screaming to run. But...I can't imagine never seeing you again too. So please don't give up on me either."