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Chapter Ten
Stevie stood outside his house staring up, it had been over five months since she had seen the place and her son but here she was, knowing she had no choice but to knock. If the ground was ever going to open up and swallow her now was the perfect time. She felt sick to the stomack, so much so she had to stop three times on the trip up from Brighton. She could see the light on in his living room and she had no idea what she would find once inside, for all she knew Charlie could be gone starting his new life with his real father, Smithy could be inside completly heartbroken. She moved up too the door and rose her hand petrified at the disaster she was about to cause, she banged hard on the front door. She was sure the whole world had stood still as she waited for the door to open. Her mouth fell open as she eyed the woman the other side, with long dark hair and legs that went forever, dark brown eyes and beautiful features, jealousy shot through her body instantly. "I erm.. Im looking for Smithy.." she spoke softly and the woman nodded "One second" she pushed the door closed and Stevie felt tears sting in her eyes as she turned and headed down the stone steps that led to his house "What do you want?" he spoke and she turned back to face him stood in the door way, the beautiful woman just behind him "I wanted to talk". He shook his head "Its a bit late for that Stevie.." he turned to Natalie and smiled "Can you go and check on Charlie" the woman nodded before eyeing Stevie once again and disapearing up the stairs. "Charlie.." Stevie spoke as she walked back up the stairs "He is here.. you still have him?". Smithy nodded "Yeah... he's here.. but you aint seeing him". Stevie smiled "I just want five minutes Smithy.. its important". He nodded "Fine" before stepping aside and pointing to the living room, she could hear the faint sound of Natalie singing to her son upstairs and as she walked into the living room she noticed Charlies toys placed neatly in the corner of the room, photos of Smithy and the young boy, she guessed proffessionaly taken hanging above the fireplace, and it was as she moved to get a better look at them she noticed the birthday card she had sent Charlie on the fireplace, she turned and smiled to Smithy "You kept it.." he interupted "I thought it would be the last one he would get from you..". She smiled "What is he still doing here?" she asked and Smithy stood staring at her and she moved foward towards him "I just.. I thought you would of been to court by now.." he interupted "What.. you hoping he would be gone?" he asked and she shook her head "Of corse not Smithy... I just wondered what happened?". He smiled "Leon dropped the case three days before.. decided he didnt want to be a full time Dad.. he looks after him two mornings a week". She nodded "So you are bringing him up... with her..". Smithy cut in "You have no right.. you walked out on him and left me to it.. you cant just turn up.. wanting him back". She shook her head "Im not here to get him back Smithy" she paused as she stared at him, pure jealousy in her eyes as the woman appeared behind Smithy "It didnt take you long" she spat. Smithy laughed turning to Natalie "Go and get your things together.." the young girl walked from the room once again and he turned back to Stevie "Five months.. five fucking months you have been gone.. I have every right to move on but..." he moved towards her "For the record.. Natalie is Charlies babysitter.. its hard work being a single parent.. especially with my job". Stevie sighed "Im sorry.. Im so sorry.." she paused as Natalie appeared once again in the door way "Im off then Smithy.." he nodded turning and walking from the room with the young girl, leaving Stevie stood alone.
When he returned a few minutes later she had rested down onto the sofa "Dont make yourself comfatable.. say what you have come to say and then get out..". Stevie smiled as she rose to her feet "I havent come to make things difficult.." he cut in "No.. cause it seems just as Im starting to get over you... you fuck with my head again... come storming back into my life... fucking everything up". She smiled "Im not here to mess things up... and you have every right to be angry" he moved towards her "I have every right to be angry.. are you fucking kidding me Stevie.. you walked out on that little boy.." he pointed to the photos hanging on the wall "If it werent for me.. he would of ended up in care... and now you come waltzing back like nothing happened..." she shook her head "Its not like that.." he shook his head "No.. damn right it aint.. get out". Stevie shook her head as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the front door "Smithy.. get off me.." she shouted as he pulled the front door open, she forced herself from him, backing into the hall "You cant just chuck me out.." she paused as a soft voice called from the top of the stairs "Daddy" and Smithy turned to face him "Ok baby.. Im just coming.." he moved towards her "I am going up there to put my son back to bed... I want you gone by the time I get back". Stevie watched as he walked up the stairs, scopping the little blonde haired boy into his arms and moving away, Stevie sighed moving to the open front door and pushed it closed before walking back into the living room, she was going nowhere, not yet anyway. She moved over to the fireplace and glanced over her card, picking up a small wad of photos and running her eyes over her sons first birthday. She noticed that lots of the station where in them, including Leon. The young girl from earlier, Smithy in a couple but it was her son, her little boy she couldnt quite keep her eyes off. She had never not loved him, she had always loved him and she always would but Smithy wasnt going to let her any where near him now and who could blame him.
"I told you to go" he spoke from the door way "I havent said my piece yet" she smiled softly and he glared at her "And what makes you think for one second I want to hear it?". She sighed "Smithy I know you are angry.. and I dont blame you for that.. you have every right to hate me.. I hate myself.. but.." she paused "I have missed you... and Charlie..". He shook his head "I dont want to hear it Stevie... now I have asked you once.. dont make me tell you again.." he stepped aside and she smiled "Im not going anywhere Smithy.. I need to talk.." he shook his head moving towards her, snatching the photos from her fingers "You have nothing to say I want to hear" he pulled on her wrist once again. "Smithy.. get off me... your hurting me" he turned and pushed her against the wall behind her "Hurt.. you have no fucking idea Stevie.. you hurt me everytime you lied to me..." he moved towards her and fear shot through her body "You hurt me the day you walked out on your son.. and then after everything I was a complete fool and was gunna give you another chance and you stamped all over my heart again... so dont you dare talk to me about hurt... me holding your wrist a little tight is nothing compared to what you have put me and Charlie through in the last year". She shook her head "Im not here to cause trouble.. please.. let me explain". He shook his head as he moved to the front door and pulled it open "You gunna walk through it or you need me to chuck you out" he stressed and as she stood still on the spot he moved over and grabbed her arms "Smithy.. no.. Smithy IM PREGNANT". He dropped his grip on her arm once again and he shook his head "I dont care.. just get out" she glared at him "Its yours... its your baby Smithy". He stumbled back and rested down onto the stairs "Im having your baby Smithy" she smiled as she moved over and sunk down onto her knees infront of him "I dont know what to do" he shook his head "Get rid of it" her mouth dropped open and she placed her hand to his "You cant be serious Smithy". He nodded "I am... you have one child you dont want... its not fair to bring another one into the world.." she interupted "Well this one is yours". He pushed her aside as he rose to his feet "Charlie is mine Stevie... he might not be by blood but I couldnt love him any more... he is my son and the only person who ever had an issuee with me not being his real Dad was you". She shook her head "Thats not true.. and Im sorry I ever made you feel like that..." she paused as she headed to the front door "If you want me to get rid of the baby... thats what Im gunna do.. cause I know I cant do this on my own.. Im not strong enough.. I couldnt do it with Charlie... but I came here to give you the chance.. to have a baby of your own... not to try and ruin what you have with Charlie but because this is your baby". He watched as she headed out the front door and her pull it shut after herself. He glanced up the stairs thinking of his young boy fast asleep before pulling the front door open, she was opening her car door and he watched her as he stood on the top step "You know its not fair" he called and she turned back to face him "Whats that?" she asked as she pushed her car door shut and made her way towards him slightly "You.. you arent fair.." he moved down the steps to where she stood "However hard I try to move on... to get myself over you and my life back on track... your still there..." she interupted "Im going.. you never have to see me again.." she glanced up at the house, tears catching in her eyes "Neither of you" she turned and began to walk away and he smiled "Thats the problem... I want to see you.. I dont want you to not be a part of my life.." she spun back to face him "You've changed your tune" she spoke softly "Im angry Stevie... and I have every right to be and I want to hate you... I want to hate you so much that I hate myself that I cant... I hate myself for still being madly in love with you Stevie".
She had been sat on his sofa about five minutes when he returned with two steaming mugs, he placed them onto the coffee table infront of her before resting down next to her "Milk one sugar yeah?" she nodded as she lifted the tea to her lips and took a sip "Thanks Smithy". He took a gulp of his drink and sighed "We cant just get back to how things were Stevie.. its gunna take time.. Charlie isnt going to just accept you.. that you are his Mum". She nodded "I know.. I wasnt even expecting this much.. I deserve for you to chuck me out on the street". He sighed "Is it definatly mine... one hundred percent?". She nodded "There hasnt been anybody else... I dont want anyone else.. I love you Smithy and I always have.." he cut "If you loved me.. why didnt you come back with me?" he asked, anger spiking his voice once again "Because I was afraid Smithy.. that I would fuck it all up again.. that I would prove everyone right.. that I was nothing more than a little tart". He sighed "What did it matter... why do you care what anybody else thought?" he asked "I told you I loved you... that I wanted you". She nodded "I thought you were doing it because of Charlie... I know how much he means to you... and that you would do anything to stop yourself loosing him... I thought I was your back up plan". He shook his head "I didnt use you Stevie.. I slept with you in Brighton because I love you". She smiled "I love you too.." he cut in "But this dont just go away... you have to work.. face everybody... confront all your demons". She smiled "Ok.. I will do anything". He nodded "You can sleep in my bed... I will put a blow up bed on Charlies bedroom floor... goodnight". She watched him rise to his feet and she smiled "Thats it?" she asked and he nodded "Thats it... I have shirts in my cupboards.. get one to sleep in". She watched him walk up from the room and she sighed before finishing her drink and taking them through to the kitchen, she stared around, nothing much had changed and she couldnt help but feel like she was home, maybe her and Smithy would stand a chance if they worked hard at it.
Once upstairs she noticed Charlies bedroom door open and she moved over and stood in the doorway, Smithy was no where in sight and she couldnt help but smile as she stared at her son, the room only lit by the dim lamp in the corner but he looked so happy as he slept soundly. She noticed the bed on the floor and smiled at the thought of being so close to Smithy, she had really missed him "Its gunna take a lot of work.." his voice startled her and she spun round to see him stood behind her in only a loose pair of black jogging bottoms, holding a football shirt in his hand "Here you can wear this" he held it out to her and she smiled "Thanks..." she glanced up into his eyes "Im not stupid Smithy... I know its not gunna happen over night.. it will take a lot of work.." he interupted "And I dont think we can just storm straight in with you being his Mum.. you need to build up some sort of relationship" she nodded "Ok.. I accept that Smithy". He nodded "You can spend some time with him tomorrow afternoon.. maybe we could take him to the park if its not raining.." she grinned "I would love that.." he nodded "Well Leon has him in the morning.. but when he brings him back" he moved into the bedroom and she grabbed his arm, a faint smile tracing her lips as she felt his muscle, when she looked into his face a similar smile was gracing his lips "Thank you Smithy... I know I dont deserve your forgiveness..." he shook his head "No you dont..." he lent down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips "But you cant help who you fall for can you?" he smiled as he moved into the bedroom "Good night Moss".