I stare up the blank ceiling constant noise falling from my lips coming the form of whimpers and sobs. I lay on my back and tremble violence suppressed by sheer terror, of what I didn't know.
"Sherlock...help" I whisper over and over but no one came. Eventually I slipped away, I fell asleep still crying without any of the normal nightmares. These were far worse.
I wake up no memory of the dreams or nightmares of the night before which was a gift in itself; I look at the the clock and it read 15/12/13 rather than 14/12 it takes a second but I remember the nap I had taken. I sit up in bed my eyes widening as I remember Sherlock in all of his glory and what we had ended up doing. I sit the staring at the landscape of tangled sheets and comforters and try to form a plan; how was I supposed to talk to him after um.. What happened.
I decide to get up and act like nothing had happened, it shouldn't matter I kept telling myself, there is nothing wrong with what you felt, nothing wrong with what you did. There is nothing wrong there is nothing wrong I kept telling myself; inside myself I halfheartedly make the tea, nearly burning it all but I saved it with an adrenaline powered swoop.
"Hello John" Sherlock walks in yawning but in a different sheet than yesterday. He looks me over once noticing the old t-shirt and dirty trousers from yesterday. He decides on sitting down at the table to stare at the scrap the had once been a murder weapon through one of his newer microscopes. I continue making tea jumping at his comments nearly spilling it every time; even though he had hardly been talking to me I was blushing aggressively.
"John, you are obviously upset about last night, what did you want me to do? Just leave you? You are the one who asked me to your bed, if nothin is to come of it-" at this precise moment we both notice that Mrs. Hudson had walked in a few seconds ago and was blushing nearly as furiously as I was.
"Um, I'll just leave the mail here then" she says blushing but also nearly laughing at the two of us which did not help my temper one bit. I gesture for her to leave which she does gradually and we hear her stifled laughter as she hurries down to the landline, probably to go tell some friends that we are together together or whatever. I am tempted to growl at them both and go back to sleep.
"Well we don't want Mrs. Hudson to be a lier right?" Asks Sherlock standing with a mischievous smile and a sigh; simultaneously somehow.
"Sherlock, what do you mean?" My anger vanished replaced with cautious fear.
"What do you think?" He asks the smile vanishing judging his distance wisely. But before I answer he puts his ivory finger to my lips and looks at my eyes before kissing my forehead, then my nose and finally after slowly removing his finger he brushes my hair away and kisses me slowly on nervous lips. Our lips meet and containing a small supernova, my eyes snap close and I press forward holding his face with one hand while entwining my fingers in his ebony locks. He pulls me closer hugging the small of my back, when he pulls away I open my eyes and look at him.
"Stupid bastard" I call him smiling.
"Idiot." He retorts.
The days after the first kisses come and go quickly as we plan for Christmas, and buy gifts for everyone. Sherlock solves cases faster than ever while he and I have been working on my deductive powers. I am terrible according to him, but no way to get better than practice? Right? We kiss, and we sleep in the same room now which is keeping my depression at bay along with the nasty nightmares. I'm as happy as can be. For the moment as I will soon learn.