Author's Note - Long time no see. Are you still here? I am.

Classroom-

Spencer dragged her pointer finger up and down the side of her spiral notebook. Completely zoned out on whatever subject she was supposed to be learning, she concentrated entirely on the feeling of the metal under her fingerprints. Up and down. Up and down. Down and up.

Often times, Spencer wished she had the ability to completely leave her mind and shut off every brain impulse that fired. She often had a hard time explaining her anxiety to others, most of the time people just wrote it off as her being a perfectionist or an overachiever. There were only a few people in the world who had actually seen what it could do to her.

She thought back to a few years ago when she had taken on a seven course load, her boyfriend Alex had just broken up with her, and her sister announced yet another business she was opening. Everything felt so entire morning at school she felt as though the walls were caving in on her. The hallways seemed to shrink in size and she felt dizzy as she tried to walk as her vision blurred. She was making her way towards Aria and Hanna at Hanna's locker when she ducked into the nearest Woman's restroom.

She gripped her hands tightly on the porcelain sink as she felt her breathing begin to rapidly increase. With each breathe she felt her heartbeat begin to race and the overwhelming sensation that should could not get any air into her lungs. She began to hyperventilate and was scared she was going to die right then and there. As she struggled to find any air to breathe she heard the woman's bathroom door swing open and soon she heard Aria's voice through her panic.

"Spence! What's going on? Are you okay?" Aria asked with concern.

"I.." she gasped, struggling to speak "I can't….I can't… I can't breathe!" Tears were rushing down her face in panic.

"It's okay. It's okay" Aria said softly. She took her hand and gently rubbed it continuously up and down Spencer's back. "It's okay. You're having a panic attack. It's happen to me before. Just try to slow down your thoughts and take deep breaths. I'm here. It's okay."

Aria stayed there with Spencer rubbing her back and gently whispering that it was okay for the next 15 minutes until the panic attack finally subsided.

Since that day Spencer had been working with her therapist to decrease these panic attacks and her anxiety. Today was not feeling like a great day. She continued rubbing her finger over the metal notebook rings until she heard the bell ring and snap her back to her current reality. It was her free period and she desperately needed some air.

Outside-

The thought occurred to Spencer that to go to the spot that only Aria and her knew about might not be the best idea if she wanted to avoid her. But with her heart racing all day, she knew she needed some fresh air and to look at something beautiful to help calm her down.

She made her way behind the bleachers towards the hidden field. She felt the breeze of the fall air whip through her hair and took a deep breath.

She remembered learning in one of her Philosophy of Art courses she took as an advanced college course that the reason why humans are drawn to things such as fire, flowers, and clouds are due to their natural state of mystery and pure art form.

A gift given to someone, such a flowers, is not given for a purpose or use, but rather given for the mere aesthetic value and joy it brings to the person receiving it.

It was at this moment that her pupils began to fill with the bright pure yellow as she arrived at the sunflowers. The sweet smell filled her nose and she smiled for what felt like the first time that entire day. She finally felt a moment of peace.

She continued to think about the flowers purpose, that to be given and enjoyed, with nothing expected or wanted in return. To live their course of a few weeks, providing a person with joy and happiness, and to be disposed of at the end. Spencer began to wonder if that was what love could be like. Maybe always expecting someone to love you back the way you love them, was selfish. And to love someone whole-heartedly, not expecting anything back, was what true love is really is.

Not a fantasy, but a reality, of what loving someone is. Poetic and beautiful, and that to really love someone, was in the missing of them.

As a single tear rolled down her face Spencer decided that she did truly love Aria. And because of that, she was going to let her go.

Spencer stared into the distance and could see Rosewood High. A place that soon would no longer be her home upon graduation. She began to lose herself in memories of herself and her three best friends. All the good and bad they had been through the past few years, and what the future held for them. It was an overwhelming thought that someday they could all move in different directions.

All of sudden she caught sight of something in her peripheral view. As she turned her head to the right to fully see who was coming, Aria's body soon came into view walking towards Spencer with hesitation.

"Hi."

"Hi." Spencer softly replied, rubbing the tear off her face.