Theme: [Oneshot #46: Conscience] on the LJ community Dokuga_contest
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Warnings: a little blood, a little insanity, tears... difficult themes evoked.
Word Count: 734 (according to open office)
Summary: Kagome awakens from a long sleep... [Part 10 of the "Cravings" series]
AN: Yup, I'm still alive, and even though my writing is rusty (very much indeed), I've thought about you all very often. I didn't really know how I was going to continue the serial after the last instalment, it left me with some sort of hollowness inside... just like the death of a loved one would, I suppose. Well, anyway, here I am again. I hope you'll forgive the long absence, and enjoy this chapter.
Beta reader: Thanks Mum!
She had been floating.
Ever since the warmth of unconsciousness had brought her far away from the sight of her own blood flowing from her, washing away the little life that had been growing inside her, and even though her body had awakened after a couple of days, Kagome, the human Miko, the young and lively girl, had never really been back.
She had functioned, her limbs making her eat, her mouth chewing but not tasting, her hands cleaning herself when she was brought near a source of water, but her skin never feeling the soothing undulation of the liquid around her, her eyes blinking in the sunlight, but her mind never registering the time that came and passed.
It was all a blur to her.
The voices of the women taking care of her.
The colours of their clothing, blood red and dove white, stirring a memory before it was swallowed again by sweet oblivion.
The feeling of their hands, oh-so careful, but not so warm really. They were handling her as if she were fragile china... and perhaps she was.
She felt quite broken, so why not?
And the whispers... yes, she heard them, some times grasping a meaning, even a complete sentence. They called her a name: Kagome. Was it really her own name? It evoked sunshine and butterflies, laughing blue eyes and innocence, stubbornness and strength, so much strength.
That... that couldn't be her, could it?
She felt like an empty shell, scattered shards glittering a sickly dark purple. She stirred, the thought evoking something deep inside her, fear, sorrow... hope.
Yes, hope. It was still there, in her heart, in the folds of her soul, calling to her conscience. The soothing pink light had never left her, it had just been buried in her innermost sanctum, where darkness and nightmares could never reach.
But it was fragile, fluttering like a frightened bird, its wings broken and its throat hoarse. It had forgotten how to sing, and no one was there to show it how to fly again.
Until, one day, she had felt it again, the dark fires of him, scorching her own diminished aura, forcing her to fight back, forcing her to feel.
But she couldn't, she didn't want to, because feeling was living, living was remembering, remembering that she had failed, she had fled, she had bled nearly to death, she had lost, she had...
…...
After one year of complete silence, a soft keening escaped the chapped lips of the shadow that had become Kagome, the human Miko, the now-not-so-young girl, once bearer of the Shikon no Tama and protector of all that was alive and pure.
Tears poured out of her eyes, and the woman started to sob brokenly, her frail body wreaked by uncontrollable convulsions, her hands clawing in the air around her as if to find something, anything, to anchor herself to. She was loosing herself to pain and despair, drowning in her own darkness, calling helplessly for someone, anyone, to hold her and make everything better again.
Suddenly, warm, calloused hands rested against her sodden cheeks, holding her head in place firmly. A voice, the low rumble of a spring stream, vibrated around her, and the flames, the scorching flames of twin golden suns, bore into her very core and shook her.
She held on to him, to them, and breathed, inhaling sharply as if she had indeed been drowning, and somebody had brought her out of the churning waters.
-"Kagome." He intoned, and she knew it was her name.
A soft breeze played with strands of silver silk, and she saw it, as if she was seeing with her own eyes for the very first time. The sun was shining, its rays gentled by the canopy of the tree above her.
She blinked.
He kept his hands on her cheeks, and she made her own limbs move hesitantly, not like an automaton but on her own volition, to touch his skin and feel its smoothness. Her fingers were like butterflies, shy and unsure, but he never moved, allowing her the small contact.
She blinked again and he retreated, sitting at a more respectable distance from her. She whimpered, still a little lost, still fragile, still so small and insignificant... but alive.
And she would heal, now that her soul had been freed from the night, now that dawn had come.
I hope you enjoyed it, and again, please forgive me for the long absence. Life's been a little difficult lately, to make long things short, I had a one year long training to do because I have to change jobs, and I got pregnant (currently fifth month, it's going to be a little scorpio, just like it's momma), not to mention the father ran away... anyway, I'm not really complaining, my family supports me and I always wanted to have children...
Just two things to tell you girls, that will probably be usefull in the future: you can't be sure of the reaction of a male in front of fatherhood, and no contraception is 100% sure (a part from, well, the obvious "avoiding intercouse" thing). Trust me, I know.
Ahem... anyway, I will probably be able to update at a more regular rate, the next chapter of 'Whispers' is currently... cooking in the oven (this being my brain's pet name... I should stop watching House MD... definitely...)
I love you all. Can you please reciprocate with a wikkle review? After all, as my dear friend Elegant Paw says, review is love!
Dewa mata