A/n: so it'll be ending soon, that is if anyone's still reading. Thank u so much for the reviews and I apologize for the long LONG wait.
Chapter 10 Shakes
Nathan walked me to the door and kissed me goodnight. It was a nice kiss that could have turned into something else, but he broke away and said 'goodnight' instead. I watched him walk back into the darkness sending a look my way before disappearing.
I smiled to myself as I entered the house.
It was silent.
I tip-toed towards my room as I neared Peyton's I heard a giggle. Followed by a rumble. I felt my heart quicken and a sick feeling filled my gut. I had a suspicion as to what I was going to find as I neared Peyton's room. Her door was slightly ajar and light spilled into the otherwise dark hallway. Another giggle occurred as I stopped in front of my cousin's room.
I took a deep breath in and pushed the door open.
"Peyton?" I asked as the door slowly opened. I gasped at the scene in front of me then quickly closed the door and hurried to my room across the hall.
"Haley!" they yelled just as I shut the door to my own room.
I heard loud movements then suddenly my door swung open I looked down at the floor in shame and guilt. I had hurt Peyton in many ways, but I just didn't know what to say to her after what I just saw.
"Haley." She said again quietly coming to stand in front of me. She stared down at me until I finally looked up from the carpet and stared at her. I saw tear tracks trailing her face and when I looked away I saw hickeys covering her neck.
"I'm sorry." I said staring at the hickeys on her neck. Slowly my gaze shifted to her face and I said in a stronger voice 'I'm sorry.'
"It's ok, really. You're…you're on drugs…I forgive you."
She shifted uncomfortably and I felt anger rise in me.
"Peyton, not this again." I mumbled turning to look at the other guilty party."What do you guys have to say for yourselves?" I asked shaking my head.
"Don't put this on us. You're the one on drugs; we're trying to help you. Don't worry about us."
I continued to shake my head at Peyton.
"Peyton you have a boyfriend with a child and your Lucas have a girlfriend whose crazy about you. Why did I found you in that position! Cause I'm pretty sure you guys didn't break up with your significant other since I saw you earlier with them."
They looked down in guilt then I added.
"I'm also getting help. I know, ok, I need help. Everyone knows…I can't deny it any longer. I need help and Nathan's going to help me."
Their guilty expressions turned to shock.
"You're getting help?" Lucas asked smiling at me.
I nodded, "and you two need some too. I can't believe I just walked in on that! If you two like each other you better break up with Brooke and Jake because they don't deserve that. No one does." I said quietly then nodded at my door.
"I need to sleep."
They nodded and quietly walked out like guilty teenagers, which they are.
I sighed and got ready for bed.
Just as I got snuggly-wuggly in the bed, however I began to get the shakes. That feeling inside me that says I need it and and I need it now. I turned over and tried to close my eyes, but I couldn't. I tried to picture Nathan's face and how much I cared about him.
I was too hot.
I kicked the covers off.
I was too cold.
I needed the covers back on.
I thought of Nathan and I urged myself to go to sleep. I turned over to the other side waiting for the calm feeling to overcome me, but nothing came. I felt everything in me shake and sweat and a headache came on. I curled into a ball and continued to think of Nathan. I needed to do this for Nathan, I could beat this. I needed to.
Bright light hit my eyes and I dug deeper into the covers. I did not want to see the light.
It was too early.
I was too hot, but couldn't take my covers off since I knew once I kicked them off I'd be cold once aain.
I was shaking.
My bed was drenched in sweat.
I wanted to die.
I hadn't slept all night I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't do anything, but lay in my bed and think about Heroin and Nathan.
"Rise and Shine Haley!" Peyton screeched yanking my covers off.
I started to shiver and groped for them to throw back over me. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept my eyes shut.
"G-Go a-away!" I chattered as my hand finally came in contact with the blanket and I threw it over me.
"Haley? Are you ok?" Peyton asked.
I opened my mouth to respond when I felt a familiar vile feeling rise in me. I jumped off the bed and ran for the toilet making it just in time as I emptied my stomach into it.
"Haley? What's wrong with you?" she yelled as I retched into the porcelain bowel.
When I stopped I finally answered her. "Withdrawl." I slurred as another round hit me.
I heard Peyton say something then leaving the room. I continued getting sick and when it was finally over I washed my mouth out then passed out on the floor.
I awoke as someone lifted me up.
"What?" I rasped opening my eyes to see a raven haired blue eyed champion carrying me.
"Nathan?" I asked closing my eyes again.
"Go to sleep." He said quietly as he lay me on my bed.
I felt myself nod then drift off once again.
My eyes fluttered open as I heard my door open. I turned towards the doorway to see Peyton standing there. Nathan was sitting by my bedside, I noticed that my hand was in his.
"What time is it?" I asked feeling as if I'd been asleep for days.
"About 5." Peyton said looking at me with her wide eyes. Her hair was pulled back and she was wearing sweats.
"In the morning or at night?" I asked looking somewhere for an indication.
"Night." Nathan said as he stared at me with a look I couldn't quite figure out. It was somewhere between concern, anger, and fear.
"Are you ok?" I asked him as he continued to stare at me.
He nodded dropping my hand from his. I felt cold from the lack of contact and I drew my hand back towards me and under the covers. I was cold and still shaking, but I knew I would be ok eventually. The first few days are the hardest, but I'd made it through before.
"I should be asking you that." He said quietly looking at me bed.
"I'll be fine." I said sitting up slowly.
Nathan looked at me then turned around to Peyton. "Can you leave for a sec, I want to talk to her." He said as Peyton nodded and left. I watched her walk out and shut the door then I turned to Nathan.
"What's wrong?" I said after a short pause
. "I don't like to see you hurt, Haley." He mumbled.
I felt myself blush and look at my blanket.
"It's the only way…well I could get pills to sedate me or something, but I want to do this cold turkey. For us." I said smiling weakly at him.
He got up and sat closer to me. "Yeah, but you've been delirious and sick and hurting. I've never watched someone suffer the way I watched you today." He said looking away.
"It has to be done. It's just withdrawal. The first time I—"I started to say, but he suddenly turned to me and interrupted.
"First time? How many times have you tried to quit?"
I felt myself redden and I pulled my legs close to me and tried to avoid his gaze.
"Too many." I answered vaguely.
"Haley?" he asked prompting me.
"3 times." I muttered as I curled myself into a ball. I felt him shift beside me, but then I felt his hand on my shoulder and I realized he was lending support.
"What makes this different then?" he asked moving his hand along my arm.
I felt goose bumps along my arm and my stomach flip flop.
"Because I've got you. No one else believed I could do it…but you do." I whispered as he moved even closer wrapped an arm around me. I curled to him and lay my head on his chest wrapping my own arms around him.
"Haley?" he said after a long silence.
"Yeah?" I asked curling as close to him as possible.
"This might be a bad time but...can you sing 'Halo' for me?" he asked kissing my head softly.
I smiled and looked up slightly so I could look him in the eye.
"I'd love to."
And I closed my eyes and lay my head back down and began to sing the first few lyrics. I felt warm all over with Nathan holding me and the faith I had in Nathan. He light a fire in me that had long ago went out and I realized that I loved him for it.
I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
I'll give you everything i have
the good, the bad
why do you put me on a pedestal?
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
so help me down, you've got it wrong
I don't belong there
one thing is clear
i wear a halo, i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here
you wouldn't say so,
you wouldn't say so if you were me
and I, I just wanna love you
whoa whoa I, I just wanna love you
I always said that i would make mistakes
I'm only human and thats my saving grace
I'll fall as hard as I try
so dont be blinded
see me as i really am
i have flaws and sometimes I can't even sin
so pull me from that pedestal
i dont belong there
one thing is clear
i wear a halo,
i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here,
you wouldnt say so,
you wouldnt say so if you were me
and I, I just wanna love you
whoa whoa i, i just wanna love you
like you think that you know me
but in your eyes
I am something above you
only in your mind
only in your mind
I wear, i wear,
I wear a halo
one thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here, you wouldnt say so
you wouldnt say so if you were me
and I, I just wanna love you
whoa whoa I , I just wanna love you
hey ha ha halo
I finished up the song and we kissed a long heated one. When we broke apart I smiled.
"That was amazing, Haley." He said quietly as we kissed again.
I giggled and lay my head ack on his chest.
I began to drift off and right before I fell asleep I heard Nathan mutter "I love you."
I inhaled deeply and without opening m eyes and just trusting my instincts I returned it.
"And I love you." I said quietly just as we fell asleep.
I knew I could trust him and be with him and I was free to fall in love with him.
All I needed was a leap of faith.
(A/n: I will try and finish it soon! There will be a few more chapters, or a really long one. Tell me what u think!)