A/N: Alright. Here's the next chapter. Technically, I'm supposed to be working right now, but I haven't got that far yet in my day, even though I've been awake since seven, when my gigantic Great Dane/Pointer/Bear jumped on me and started licking me. In the face. While using me as a mattress. Sketchy way to wake up, let me tell you all.

Chapter Ten - I Wanna Be a Producer

I calmly fastened my Quidditch robes and hummed under my breath. It was the final game of the season, which, fatefully, happened to be Slytherin versus Gryffindor. That's mostly because they were the only team to come close to beating us this year since Jared Chase beat the shit out of me with his bat in the middle of the game, and therein their Chasers could actually score about a hundred points before Lily caught the snitch.

"Scor, what are you humming?" James asked, tying his shoes.

"Oh, nothing," I replied cheerfully.

"Well, if this is how it's going to be, I'm going to regret giving you that map," he said, casting a worried look in my direction.

"Oh, you won't regret it," I replied, feeling slightly whimsical. I returned to my humming.

"Wait a minute," Lily said slowly, dropping onto the bench next to me. "I know that song."

"Do you?" I asked casually. "How nice."

"What song is it?" James asked.

"It's from a Muggle musical…Roxie would know," Lily said. "Hey, Roxie!"

Roxie dropped her Beater's bat and wandered over. "What's up?"

"What's the name of the song that Scor's humming?" Lily asked.

Roxie gave her a suspicious look. "He won't just tell you?"

I shook my head and kept humming to myself.

"It's from The Producers," Roxie said, looking both amused and very confused. "It's called 'I Wanna Be a Producer.'"

"Right you are," I agreed, standing up and pulling on my gloves.

Roxie crossed her arms and stared at me suspiciously. "In that scene, the character sings about wanting to be a producer while a whole lot of girls wearing nothing but pearls are dancing."

I tried to look as innocent as possible. "Why are you giving me that look?"

"I mean, I'm all for fun in the bedroom, but if that's the type of thing you and Rose are into, then-" Roxie started.

"Me and Rose?" I asked, now genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Aren't you guys, like, dating or something?" she asked, sounding as confused as I was.

"No," I replied, glancing edgily at the two Weasley men who were giving me very bad looks.

"Oh," Roxie said, looking disappointed. "You guys would be cute together."

"Right," I replied, casting another worried look at Fred and James. "She thinks I'm gay. Shall we go play Quidditch?"

Roxie and Lily regarded me suspiciously and then the seven of us made our way onto the Quidditch pitch. Our captain, one Liam Wood, shook hands with the Slytherin captain and we took to the air. I immediately started circling the goal posts. As I circled I kept humming.

Roxie flew closer to me and batted a Bludger away.

"You're being highly suspicious," she informed me.

"It's become my general practise," I replied cheerfully, grabbing the Quaffle out of the air before it could go through the hoop.

"And it's scary how you do that without looking," she added, flying off. I grinned and tossed the Quaffle to James.

By the time we were 200 points up, I glanced across the stands to see Rose, Al, Dylan, Will, Sam, and Em sitting together, all wearing some sort of Gryffindor paraphernalia. I waved at them once.

"What are you waving at, Malfoy?" one of the Slytherin Chasers asked me.

"My friends," I replied calmly, smiling in what was probably an unnerving way.

"Like you really expect me to believe you have friends," he replied.

Currently, the best thing about the Slytherin team is that there are no girls on it.

That just wouldn't be embarrassing enough.

He hurled the Quaffle at me. I caught it as a hush silence fell over the crowd.

"Oh come on," he insisted. "That wasn't even an impressive save!"

There was a pause in all action as, one by one, the Slytherin team realised what they happened to be wearing. All of them had on matching caps of shiny pearls. The caps had fringes on them that were dangling in their eyes. Those were just to start.

Their actual Quidditch robes had been transfigured into one piece pearl - I suppose "dress" was the most accurate term - dresses. They stopped like a bathing suit and then had another little fringe. Their shoes were sparkly silver high heels with buckles on them.

"Don't you look dashing?" I asked the Slytherin Chaser.

"You did this, didn't you, you little fuck face?" he demanded, looking like he might throttle me. The effect was spoiled by his false eyelashes.

I managed to keep myself from laughing in his face. "Now how could I have done that if you were talking to me at the time?"

This seemed to bring him to a loss, because his next move was to wrap his beefy hands around my throat. Fortunately, Lily managed to catch the Snitch at that moment. Unfortunately, he didn't see fit to let go of my throat.

I started spluttering and turning red in the face when suddenly he was blasted away from me. I rubbed my neck and followed the line of fire back to Professor Longbottom.

"Warren, Malfoy, my office, now," Professor McGonagall said over the speaker. The rest of the school was too exalted about the Slytherins' garb to pay us much attention.

I landed and stormed into the Quidditch changing rooms to grab my bag, and therein my wand, before I made my way up the stairs to McGonagall's office. When I got there, McGonagall was sitting behind her desk looking irate, Warren was sitting in one of the chairs looking absolutely appalling in his pearls, and the Professors Nott and Longbottom were standing on opposite sides of McGonagall's desk with their arms folded as they glared at each other.

I sat down in the spare chair and rubbed my neck pointedly.

"Professor, I'm sorry, but I don't understand why Malfoy has to be here," Professor Longbottom said. "Seeing as how it was Warren who attacked him, not the other way around."

"It's because he's your damned student, and he's the one behind the – the pearls, and Maleficent Goyle's ride on a Thestral, and Conrad Ackerly hanging from the chandelier, and Travis Flint's swamp, and Garth McNair showing up in Hogsmead, and Gordon Montague professing his undying love for Professor McGonagall-" Nott started to list.

"I'd like to see you prove that, Nott," Professor Longbottom replied, glaring Nott down.

"And it was definitely him who did this," Warren insisted, pointing at the pearls.

"And how exactly and I supposed to have done it?" I demanded. "Considering I was holding a Quaffle at the time and my wand was in my bag in the changing rooms."

"I don't-" Warren started.

"Don't you think your team has done enough to try and kill him already?" Longbottom asked, glaring at Nott and Warren. "Like last game when Mr Chase beat the shit out of him with a Beater's bat?"

"Neville," McGonagall scolded.

Instantly, Professor Longbottom and Professor Nott backed down and looked like dogs that'd been whacked in the nose with a rolled up newspaper. I was forced to remember that she'd been their Transfiguration teacher. It must've been utterly terrifying to sit class with her. Especially for Professor Longbottom, who was reportedly terrible at Transfiguration.

"I cannot reasonably fault Mr Malfoy for this attack, either the physical one by Mr Warren, or the issue of the Slytherin team's robes," McGonagall said, glaring Warren down when he started to argue. "However, he has admittedly been in the wrong place at the wrong time for all of those events that you listed, Professor Nott. Therefore, Mr Malfoy, consider yourself warned. Mr Warren, ten points from Slytherin."

"For what?" Warren and Nott exploded.

"For attempting to strangle Mr Malfoy, which, regardless of his alleged actions, is still illegal," McGonagall replied sternly. "You are all dismissed."

I ran out as quickly as I could, followed by Professor Longbottom. I'd imagine the Slytherins were staying behind to argue more with McGonagall.

"Thanks, Professor," I said quietly.

"Yeah," Professor Longbottom replied, not looking at me.

"And, erm, thanks for not treating me like I'm my father," I added. "I know he was…"

"We can leave it at 'of questionable moral character' if you'd like," Longbottom replied.

"Sure," I agreed. "And I've heard that you saved my mum's life during the Battle of Hogwarts and I guess I just wanted to say thanks for that."

He nodded. "If I'd known she was going to go on to marry your father, I might not have," he replied drily.

A very awkward silence descended on the corridor.

"I'm kidding," he said finally.

"Right," I replied uncomfortably. "I suppose I'll see you in class on Monday."

He nodded once in my direction and I made a break for it. I took the back stairs, so as to best avoid people, and burst into headquarters. I was instantly tackled in a bear hug.

I looked down in confusion to see silky red hair.

"Hi, Rose," I said slowly.

"We were so worried," she explained. "I wanted to hex him, but they wouldn't let me."

"Well, there was no sense in having two of us in McGonagall's office," Will reasoned. "Having Scor there was bad enough."

"Nott's onto us," I explained, still staring down at Rose in confusion. "Rose, I am entirely disgusting, as I haven't had a chance to put on clean clothes or take a shower. Are you really sure you want to be hugging me right now?"

"No, not really," she decided, letting go of me, fluffing her hair, and sitting down on one of the desks.

"That's what I thought," I replied. "Okay, so what are we going to do about Nott?"

"I dunno," Al said. "Shouldn't we be more concerned about Professor Longbottom?"

"Honestly, I don't really think he's going to be too much of a problem," I replied. "Nott might be."

"Well, we'd have to make sure it was executed while we were all sitting our OWLs so that he couldn't logically blame us," Sam said, crossing the Slytherin Quidditch team off the list.

"I don't think he's following too much on logic," Em pointed out. "And I'm not sitting my OWLs this year."

"Yeah, but you're a Slytherin, he's not going to blame you for any of it," Dylan reminded her.

"There is that," she agreed. "So maybe I should be the one to pull this one off."

"Perhaps," I replied. "Besides being a royal fuckhead, what's his crime?"

There was a pause while the only sound that could be heard was the pygmy puffs.

"What?" I asked.

"You swore again," Dylan informed me.

"Oh," I replied. "Well, I didn't mean-"

"It's about damn time," Rose said. "Because you know, going sixteen years without swearing isn't healthy for anyone. Especially not when they've had your life."

"Right, whatever," I replied. "So what'd Nott do to get on this list?"

"He gave me detention," Rose said coldly.

"For what?" Em asked curiously.

Rose turned slightly pink and looked away. "It doesn't matter," she said. "But he deserves something horrid."

"I can arrange that," Em replied. "And I think for the sake of plausible deniability, none of you should know what I do to him."

"Fair enough," Dylan agreed. "Although Scor's the only one who's close to being in trouble."

I nodded.

"I'll take care of it," Em assured us, then she grinned darkly.

OOooOOooOOooOO

We were eating lunch following our Charms written test when Professor Nott came wandering into the Great Hall looking very much like he was on drugs.

He meandered over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Rose. She was instantly uncomfortable. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, and then changed his mind.

"Oh Merlin, that unicorn is purple!" he exclaimed suddenly before he ran off.

"What was all that about?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Rose replied. "Probably whatever Em did to him."

"Yeah, but why did he sit down next to you?" Al asked, giving her a questionable look. Rose shrugged.

OOooOOooOOooOO

That night we were all sitting back in headquarters when Em came in laughing.

"It was brilliant," she said. "He spent all of Arithmancy blathering about the talking dragon in the back of the classroom."

"Why was there a talking dragon in the back of your Arithmancy class?" Sam asked.

"There wasn't," Em replied.

"Then why was he talking about it?" Sam asked, looking very confused.

"Because he's on the magical equivalent of LSD," Em explained.

"What's LSD?" I asked.

Em gave me a bad look. "I can't believe we're related," she said, shaking her head at me.

"But what is it?" Dylan asked.

"Okay, he's Muggleborn and doesn't know, therefore I am entirely off the hook," I exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah," Em said. "It's a drug that makes you hallucinate."

"And how long is he going to be hallucinating?" Rose asked.

"Oh, a couple weeks," Em replied cheerfully.

"Maybe we can get him fired for drug use," Rose suggested.

The rest of us exchanged looks.

"What, exactly, did he do to you?" I asked, starting to feel very concerned.

Rose smiled thinly and stood up. "Trust me, Blondie," she said. "You don't want to know. It would scar your innocent little mind."

Then she walked out of headquarters without another word.

"It's never good when she calls me that," I said.

"Noticed that, thanks," Al replied, staring at the door Rose had just exited.

"So should we worry?" Dylan asked.

"I think we should definitely worry," I replied, staring at the door as well.

"The question is, what should we worry about," Sam said.

The five of us stared at him in confusion for a moment.

"I'm going to bed," I said finally. I walked out of headquarters and made my way back to Gryffindor tower. Whatever horrible things the Slytherins have done to me, I'm starting to think they did something equally bad to Rose. And I don't like that.

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