To: Psychopath at Shinra . org
From: FlameTurk at Shinra .org
Subject: Re: Highly Disturbed
Dear He who is my sex-slave and doesn't know it yet,
Actually Hojo doesn't know a lot of things. He doesn't know that you're gay, or that Rufus is on the verge of firing him and replacing him with a drunk monkey, or that Cloud is actually a spy for the chocobo nation... which I bet you didn't know either so ha.
Been there, done that, made a million gil off the t-shirt sales.
Dude, that is so a Turk secret and I might have to kill you for it... For your information, 'she' is having surgery to become a girl.
And you should've knocked. You should know better by now, after all, how many times have you walked in on me when I was 'involved'? If you don't want an eyeful, just do what I do and slide everything under the door then run like hell...
Of course, I do this because I don't want to be raped/molested/accosted by my oh-so-sexy superiors, not because I don't want to see people screwing. Though I don't want to see unattractive people having sex, not at all... Though if it were you... or Tseng. Or Vincent. Or Rufus. Or Cloud.
Or, hell, even Zack. Maybe.
I'm not a pervert, you are. Everyone knows where you go on your breaks. Though I and my good friend, mister hidden camera, have something to do with that.
King of Sex Gods and your Pants,
Reno