September 3, 2013

Yesterday I met Rachel Amber.

Not only did I meet her, but she saved me from some Mean Girl wannabe predators.

Turn out, she's everything that Chloe made her out to be. She's beautiful, cheerful, peppy, interesting, and complementary. She helped me get my whole room set up so I'm all ready to go for classes this morning. It took her hours and she was amazing the entire time.

There were some awkward topics. It's clear Rachel is way more adept at the art of conversation than me, she dug up a lot of dark secrets in just one day of talking. Luckily I held onto the darkest secret of them all, the kiss with Chloe. I think she's totally got Chloe in her sights and I'm scared what the girl would do if she figured out I'm gunning for the same girl.

My heart almost stopped writing that. That's the closest I've gotten to admitting that out loud. I want to be with Chloe. In the Biblical sense. Okay, maybe not entirely like that yet, I'd settle for some hand-holding and some more kissing. Lot's more kissing. With me actually kissing Chloe back.

So yeah, anyway, Rachel was awesome. She introduced me to people all over the school, didn't make fun of me too much for owning a pet plant and teddy bear, and wants me to work on her professional portfolio. Then she kissed Chloe.

I want to tear her eyes out.

Not really. I mean I do, but it's not Rachel's fault. If I hadn't been a complete naive spaz and responded to Chloe in the first place, then Rachel might not have been able to steal Chloe away. And I might be responsible for Rachel being here in the first place? I don't know, it was all really vague.

I know Chloe wants all three of us to be the best of friends, but I don't see that happening. Especially because Rachel's going to win and I don't know if I can just watch them make out all the time. There's no way I can steal Chloe back from a girl like that. She might be the product of illegal scientific experiments designed to create the perfect human female. And she's definitely into Chloe. Chloe would be an idiot to pass on her. My only hope is that Chloe kinda is an idiot sometimes. I think that's the definition of a long shot.

I need to think up a plan. The problem is I've never asked out anyone before, let along tried to win them from what amounts to a super model. To top it off, Chloe is also my best friend and I can't lose that. If Chloe isn't interested in leaving Rachel, me trying to push myself on her might only serve to destroy our friendship. I guess I need to try to get a feel for how Chloe's feeling about all of this. Detective Max is on the case.

My very first class at Blackwell Academy was World History. It's not that I dislike history, it's just that…well okay I don't like history. As far as I can tell it's an endless list of horrible things horrible people did to other people for horribly selfish reasons. Frankly, I don't know why people care so much about it. Plus, my long-term memory kind of sucks so studying for history tests is like practicing for a marathon, only your progress is reset the next day no matter how hard you work out.

Added to my general disinterest in the subject matter was the fact that I recognized absolutely no one when I walked into class. Usually on the first day I like to show up for class early so I can take a seat in the back and try my best to ignore everyone else as they mill into the classroom. I didn't get the chance to today because someone has been blowing up my phone this whole morning trying to plan a movie night for tomorrow. With Rachel. She's trying so hard to make the three of us all be friends. I'm not entirely against it, Rachel's pretty awesome. I just wish she didn't have this habit of kissing Chloe in front of me. Or at all.

Everyone in the room stops and stares at me as I stand by the door. It's this kind of thing that I try to avoid by being here first. Chloe's gonna pay for this. The rooms arranged with large desks, with two chairs per desk. There aren't too many spots left, and none of them are by themselves. I look towards the people sitting without partners and almost all glance away from me as I look at them, clearly not interested in sharing their desk.

That's until I look at a younger looking guy with a mess of brown hair and a blue shirt. When I look at him he gives me a smile and a friendly wave. Well that solves that problem. I walk over to his desk and he gives me an eager smile as I sit down.

"Hi, my name's Warren," he says to me as I sit my bag down.

"Max," I say with a smile of my own. Up close I can see his shirt features the picture of an 8-bit ox-cart with the words "You have died of dysentery" underneath. "I like your shirt," I say because I fail at thinking of clever things.

"Oh yeah? Thanks! Always good to find a fellow nerd," he says with a wink. Crap, one minute into the first day of my new school and I'm already the nerd girl all over again. I was kinda hoping I could make a whole new Max this time around. A cooler Max that could actually talk to other people without shoving her foot in her mouth. But...I am a nerd. And a girl. Maybe I should just accept my fate.

"Yeah, likewise," I say, trying to sound cheerful. Make a good first impression Max. "Thanks for letting me sit beside you by the way. I was afraid I was going to be late to class."

"Anytime Max, your butt will always have a space in History Class. I'll make sure of it," he says which causes me to laugh. He reminds me of Chloe in a weird way. I mean, he's nothing like Chloe at all, but both of them are pretty good at thinking of clever ways to say things. I've never been mistaken for clever.

At that moment another girl walks into class and I'm relieved to know I'm not the last one to arrive. The girl's Asian and she's wearing a hoodie like me, though her's looks a bit more fashionable than my simple one. She also has a few strokes of pink hair in her ponytail and thick black glasses. She looks like the cool kind of nerd versus whatever kind I am. She takes a look around the class before settling on Warren. She glances over at me. Maybe I should smile at her? I like it when people smile at me. Before I can even attempt to form some kind of smile she glares at me before huffing off to an empty chair. What did I do to her? Maybe I'm just seeing things? I shrug and look towards the front as class begins.

"Wow, a Polaroid? And I thought you couldn't be more cliched. Some of us bring actual cameras to class hipster," Victoria says as I walk towards the back of the class.

"I wouldn't judge a book by its cover Victoria, I've seen some of her photos, she's damn good." Rachel says, slapping my back and causing me to jump. I swear Rachel must have ninja training, I never see her coming.

"I'll be the judge of that," Victoria says with a glare for Rachel.

"Actually, I think that's Ms. Drey's job," Rachel says pleasantly. Victoria's face turns just slightly red.

"Whatever Rachel, enjoy your charity case," Victoria says before turning away.

"Thanks Rachel," I say gratefully. I almost regret writing that I wanted to rip her eyes out.

"Think nothing of it, Victoria has her flunkies so you need yours," Rachel says before giving me a quick squeeze of a hug.

"You are not a flunky," I say.

"Come on, let's get a seat in the back before they fill up," Rachel says happily as she leads me to two of the tables in the back.

"So, I heard that boy Warren is all about Max Caulfield," Rachel says slyly as I set my stuff down, causing me to almost drop my camera.

"How did you hear that?

"Dana overheard Brooke complaining about you in the girl's restroom. Then she told me naturally because we're friends. I'd watch out, sounds like you've already got a rival."

"I don't have a rival! I'm not interested," I say forcibly. Seriously, can't a girl just be friends with a guy without it turning into drama?

"Doth she protest too much?" Rachel says with a smile. I glare at her and she holds her hands up in defeat, though the effort is wasted by the shit-eating grin she can't wipe off her face. "First day and you already have a fan club. And Chloe says you've never dated anyone," Rachel says with a chuckle.

"I haven't," I say seriously. Rachel pauses a moment.

"Seriously?" She asks.

"Seriously," I say, trying to hold back the wave of embarrassment threatening to turn my whole face red. I'm going to be eighteen in less than a month. At this rate I might as well go for the world record.

"Well what are you waiting for? I can name three people off the top of my head who would be completely down for a Caulfield date," Rachel says.

"Uhhh, no thank you," I say. Three people? Shit, I'm a little curious. No, don't think about it. You're trying to get Chloe. Rachel's head cocks to the side as she stares at me, looking at me like I'm a particularly hard crossword puzzle.

"We are so going to talk about this later," Rachel says. Before I can reply an older lady waltzes into class and starts talking.

"Everyone take their seats," the woman says. She's a little on the short side, but still taller than me, with short grey hair and tanned, wrinkled skin.

"Welcome to photography class. My name is Ms. Drey. Like the rest of you, this is my first year at Blackwell. Now I know the circumstances of my arrival aren't ideal, but I don't plan on that holding me back," Ms. Drey says as she reaches the front of the class. Her eyes sweep the class and they have this intense focus as if she's taking in every detail. It makes me a little self-conscious. What does she see when she looks at all of us?

"A couple things before we get started. Number one, this is a photography class. I am your teacher. I'm not your parents or your friends. I'm not here to tell you how great you are, I'm here to tell you where you could use improvement. Constructive criticism is my bread and butter. If you can't take it, then you won't make it in this industry." A couple of the other students exchange nervous looks, but for once I'm not one of them. I already know my pictures are shit. The whole reason I'm here is to get better. I can't do that unless people tell me what I'm doing wrong.

"Number two. Some of you are here to take pictures for art. Some of you are more interested in functional photography. I'm here to tell you that to the professional photographer, they are one and the same. Unless your photography serves a purpose you might as well put it on your tumblr blog, because that's as far as it will take you. Likewise, if you aren't always taking the most expressive and evocative photos in the field, there's no reason to hire you versus the next Joe with a camera. In this class I will teach you form and function," Ms. Drey says as she slowly looks each of us in the eye. When she meets my eyes it takes everything in me not to look away. Somehow I manage.

"Finally, number three. Principal Well's has asked that I enter one of you in the national 'Everday Hero' contest. The student I choose will have their art on display in the biggest art gallery in the northwest. You have one month to give me your entry. This is not an assignment, you will not be graded, and I will not give you extra time to work on this project. However, I cannot stress enough how important this opportunity is. I will be blunt, you will not receive a better or easier stepping stone to launch your photography career. I would take this very seriously. Are there any questions?" A dozen hands fly up in unison.

"What did you of Ms. Drey?" Rachel asks as we pack up after class.

"I kinda liked her. She seemed a little intense, but it made me feel like she knew what the heck she was talking about."

"Yeah, personality matches her photography I'd say," Rachel says. I'd have to agree. I spent a couple nights researching her photos when I heard she was the replacement for Jefferson. She specializes in photos that captured the gritty reality of everyday life, but portrayed them in an ethereal way. She was particularly gifted with playing with light and exposure.

"So...Warren." Rachel says with eyes that dance with mischief as we walk into the hallway.

"No. No so Warren. Warren is just a friend," I say quickly, attempting to kill this conversation once and for all.

"That's not what Brooke says."

"And who is...wait. Is she the Asian girl with pink hair?"

"That would be Brooke. So you know her?" Rachel asks.

"Fuck!" I say, maybe a little too loudly. It's all coming together. Why did life have to be so complicated?

"I know," Rachel says sagely. "Already have some competition for your man. No worries, a little rivalry just makes you more serious," Rachel says. The way she says it, I just can't tell if she's being serious or making fun of me.

"He's not my man," I whisper vehemently at Rachel as we reach the main entrance.

"He won't be with that attitude."

"I can't help but think you're not actually listening to anything I'm saying."

"Oh I know! Invite him over to the movie night! I hear he's a movie guru. He'll fit right in with you and Chloe," Rachel says excitedly as we push the doors open and head out into the lawn. I decide trying to fight Rachel on this might be a losing battle. Instead I decide to change topics.

"So Chloe's been texting you about the movie night too? Has she decided on a day and time yet?" I ask.

"Oh yes!" Rachel says. I give myself an imaginary pat on the back. Topic successfully changed. "It's going to be tomorrow at 8pm. My dorm room."

"Tomorrow at 8," I muse. "It's a date."

"For tonight's viewing pleasure!" Chloe says dramatically as she stands up, the movie hidden behind her back. She stands in front of Rachel's TV. It's not overly large, but I'm still jealous. I don't have one. Rachel's dorm reminds me of Chloe's room. There's a lot of personality. She's got fashion posters on the wall and she's constructed two rooms in the dorm by hanging dark drapes on the ceiling that can split the dorm in two. There's also a lot of mess with clothes scattered everywhere and random knick knacks placed haphazardly. Needless to say, I feel right at home.

I smile at Chloe and start drumming on the frame of the bed. Rachel looks over at me and rolls her eyes before smiling and joining in. Chloe enjoys the drumming and building suspension for a moment before whipping the movie out for us to see. "I present Donnie Darko!"

"Yes!" I say with a smile.

"Ugh," Rachel says with a look of defeat.

"This is a classic Rachel, you have to see it. For the good of your soul," Chloe says encouragingly. Kinda like a mother trying to convince a five year old to take their cough syrup.

"That line worked last time, but not this time. Did you forget? You made me sit through this monstrosity already?" Rachel says desperately.

"Oh no, one time won't do," I say with an evil smile. Rachel looks at me with a shocked and terrified expression. "Donnie Darko makes no sense the first time you watch it. You have to watch it at least three times to fully understand and appreciate the movie's brilliance."

"No…" Rachel whispers, her eyes going wide. "Surrounded and ambushed in my own dorm room. What have I done to deserve such torments?" She collapses dramatically in her chair. She raises one limp arm and waves it weakly at Chloe. "I relent. Begin your torture but know my heart shall never give in to your nerd ways!"

"Pffft, I give you two months max. By Christmas Max and I will have you quoting lines from Princess Bride and loving every minute of it," Chloe says, inserting the DVD into the machine. Job down, she runs back to the bed to join Rachel and me, settling in between us. Settling closer to Rachel I notice.

As the movie begins Rachel leans back, putting both her arms out and resting on her palms. Her right arm rests on Chloe's back and Chloe leans into it slightly. I try to concentrate on the movie but even the genius of Donnie Darko can't keep my eyes off of Chloe and Rachel. A familiar feeling creeps into the bottom of my heart, seeping in like hot lead.

The movie continues and Chloe leans further into Rachel, almost resting in the crook of her arm. Rachel's head moves towards Chloe so that it rests on her shoulder. Donnie Darko is just a blur at this moment, I can't focus on it at all. All I know is that I have to stop Rachel and Chloe's love fest before I end up tearing the two apart. An idea hits me.

"Donald… let me preface this by saying that your Iowa test scores are intimidating. So… let's go over this again. What exactly did you say to Ms. Farmer?" I say along with the Principal in the film. On the bed next to me Chloe arches an eyebrow and looks over at me. It's a game we used to play all the time when we were younger. We'd quote along with the movie, taking turns with each line. The first person to miss a quote losses. Come on Chloe, play along.

"I'll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus!" Chloe says with a laugh, sitting up and dislodging Rachel's head from her shoulder. For her part, Rachel looks completely bewildered and maybe a little annoyed at the sudden loss of her head rest. It's working!

Chloe and I continue for the next half hour straight, matching quote for quote. Between the two of us we've probably seen this movie a hundred times so the contest keeps stretching onward. At some point we both stood up, facing each other across the room. We get more and more animated as the contest continues, starting to not only say the lines, but act them out as well. Rachel, growing bored of being the only one on the bed, stands up to join Chloe. She turns her head side to side as we go back and forth, a bored expression on her face.

"How did you feel, being denied these "Hungry, Hungry Hippos"?" I say. Chloe opens her mouth to say the next line, but then Rachel leans across and plants her lips on Chloe, interrupting her.

"Regret," Donnie Darko says on the T.V. Chloe misses the line, her lips preoccupied. Rachel pulls away from Chloe with a smirk.

"You missed the line, guess that means Max wins," Rachel says to Chloe.

"How did you know it was a contest?" Chloe asks, returning Rachel's smirk.

"Because everything's a contest with you," Rachel says innocently.

"You know me well," Chloe says with a low laugh, so different from her normal one. Is that her seductive laugh? Before I can even process that Chloe moves towards Rachel and then she's kissing her. It's worse, it's so much worse. My breath lodges in my throat, my heart crumbles into ash. I can't...I can't watch this anymore. I can't...be here anymore. I turn and rush for the door.

"Max?" I hear Chloe ask from behind me as I fling Rachel's door open.

"Bathroom," I say without turning as I run into the hallway and slam Rachel's door shut. I run down the hallway, past the bathroom, and into my own room, locking the door after I pull it shut.

"Max?" I hear from outside my dorm door accompanied with a few knocks. I groan into my pillow. Chloe. I can't talk to her now. How can I even begin to explain what just happened? And if Rachel's with her…

"Max, please, let me in. It's just me. Come on Caulfield, we need to talk," Chloe says from outside. There are a couple more knocks. I can't get up off my bed. My face is burning, my stomach rolling, my head pounding. I can't deal with Chloe like this. Inside my pocket my phone buzzes. Reluctantly I pull it out and am not surprised to see its from Chloe.

Chloe

Let me in Noki.

I'm not leaving till you do.

I sigh. Sometimes I wish Chloe wasn't so fucking stubborn. I have no doubt she isn't making idle threats. I roll off of my bed and take a look in the mirror. Sure enough I look terrible. My face is red, my eyes are puffy from the tears I'm holding back, and I did a number on my hair. I straighten my hair the best I can and give up on the rest. There's only so much I can do.

I open the door to find Chloe standing on the other end of it, phone in hand. She looks up at me in surprise before glaring at me and stomping into my room.

"About time," she says as she sits down heavily on my bed. I calmly close the door and turn around to stare at her. She stares back at me trying her best to seem uninterested, but I can tell by the way her fingers fidget endlessly that she's nervous.

"Care to talk about what the fuck just happened?" Chloe asks after a couple moments of silence.

"Not really," I say quietly.

"Fuck Max," Chloe says tiredly. She leans back against the wall so she's looking up at my ceiling. "Look, I'm sorry about Rachel. I didn't know she was going to be that...handsy. I know that must have been hella awkward. I didn't mean to make you feel like the third wheel." Third wheel? The comment cuts me right to the heart. Is that all I am to Chloe now? The friend she has to make time for?

"How serious are you and Rachel?" I ask. I have to figure out just how screwed I am. Chloe sits up straight at the question. She looks me in the eye and I can tell something she sees makes her nervous.

"Max, I don't know if I ever told...Max I'm gay," Chloe says.

"I know," I say quietly.

"And, are you okay with that?" Chloe asks. The look on her face, the hurt and worry, melts away a good chunk of my own hurt. Now isn't the time to be jealous, my best friend needs me. She might look like a skater punk, but underneath it all she's still a nineteen year old girl. Something she only really admits to a few people, and I'm proud to be one of them.

I sit down on the bed beside her and take her hand in mine, squeezing tightly. She looks over at me, her eyes meeting mine once again, and I smile.

"Of course I'm okay with it Chloe. I'm your best friend, nothing's going to change that. I love everything about you," I say. For a moment her eyes widen with surprise, but they quickly go back to normal as her familiar smirk appears on her face.

"Love huh?" She said with a wag of her eyebrows.

"You know what I mean," I say with a roll of my eyes. Except she probably didn't. For once I'm grateful my face is already a mess because she won't notice me blushing like an idiot.

"Well, if it wasn't that, then why did you run off?" Chloe asks.

"You haven't answered my question," I say.

"How serious I am about Rachel?" She asks with a confused look. I nod and turn away from her. I don't let go of her hand though. Please tell me she's just a friend Chloe. A kissing friend. Then I might be able to work up the nerves to tell you the truth.

"I...don't know Max," Chloe says awkwardly. "I haven't really dated that many girls. Well, any girls really."

"So you two are dating?" I ask, my heart falling.

"Not officially I guess? Just more like...exploring our options. Rachel just got through some rough relationships, she's not ready to jump into another one just yet. She says we should get to know each other better first."

"And kissing helps that?" I ask. Chloe sighs.

"Rachel's more experienced than me. Kissing doesn't mean that much to her. Hell, she'd probably be up for tossing around in the sheets if I wanted." The image of Chloe and Rachel laying in Chloe's bed 'tossing around' pops in my head before I can stop it. My heart feels like it catches on fire it hurts so bad. The fact that it's in Chloe's room, on Chloe's bed, makes it so much worse. It just felt so wrong, Chloe's room was our special place. Rachel had no business doing that there.

"Fuck Max, you're squeezing my hand off," Chloe says. I quickly let go of her hand.

"I'm so sorry Chloe," I say sadly, turning back towards her with an apologetic look. She rubs her hand with a wince on her face.

"Damn Mad Max, you've got a hella strong grip for those bony hands of yours," she says, putting her hand back down. "So, what, you don't like Rachel is that it?" She says it sadly, as if resigning herself to the fact.

'No!" I say quickly. I really don't, it would be so much easier if I could. "Rachel's been nothing but nice to me. I can't imagine where I'd be at Blackwell without her. She's pretty much single-handedly made sure no one fucks with me at school." Chloe laughs, her face instantly brightening up. I love her laugh. I love being the cause of her laugh.

"Well then, what's the problem?" I turn away and lean forward, resting my chin on my hand. What to say? It seems obvious Chloe wants to date Rachel. Rachel, however, doesn't seem ready yet. I could confess to Chloe now. But would that be fair to Rachel? She's gone out of her way to make my first couple days at Blackwell go so smoothly, I really owe her. It would be such a shitty move to just steal Chloe away behind her back. If I even could. Should I tell Rachel first? Should I tell them both at the same time? Should I tell no one? I don't know what to do, all I know is the whole situation is playing murder with my heart.

"Do you remember the promise you made on your birthday?" I ask.

"To go to college together? Dude, of course," Chloe says as if offended I could imply anything else.

"Are you going to keep it?" I ask.

"Max…" Chloe says. She reaches an arm over and rests her hand on my shoulder as she leans forward beside me. I look over at her, her eyes deadly serious. "Of course I am."

"Rachel's going to L.A. at the end of school," I say simply. Her eyes look down for just a moment, but then they're back on mine.

"Yeah, well, if we end up in L.A. then that's awesome, but no matter what I'm keeping my promise to you. You've been my friend for, fuck, eleven years now? I'm not walking out on that for a crush." A crush. Not exactly what I want to hear. But...I'll take what I can get. At the end of the year Chloe Price is coming with me. No matter what Rachel does. I'll settle for that for now.

A/N: Sorry for the late and smaller update. Weekend was hella busy with a wedding and general family happenings. As always thank you all so much for your response to my story. I live off of your comments. Keep sending your feedback and I'll keep working to make this story the best it can be. I hope this chapter finds all of you well. Till next time friends.