Author's Note: So, once again my plans for the 1976 installment of this tale turned out to be longer than I expected and it will take one more chapter after this one to wrap it up. I hope you like this latest chapter.
July 3, 1976
Amanda awoke later than she'd planned on the next morning having had trouble sleeping the night before. She'd laid down with her thoughts a complete jumble due to the events of the day. Her conversation with Lee had her rattled as she wondered if he might make good on his threat to take her to court to gain visitation rights to Phillip. She hoped that he had been only trying to make a point and that he wouldn't actually follow through with it. Her already shaky marriage didn't need any more stress added to it. As much as she'd tried to convince herself that everything was okay, she knew things between her and Joe were far from okay. She was still reeling from the fact that he'd called her selfish during their phone conversation just because she'd gotten upset that he wouldn't be home when he said he would be.
Thoughts of her husband had then led her to thinking that if he'd been with her from the start of the weekend as he'd originally promised to be, then she'd never have been subjected to Jim's unwelcome, drunken advances. She had no doubt that had her husband been by her side, he'd never had dared to make such a bold move. Her thoughts then drifted to Lee's chivalrous rescue of her and how closely it had mirrored his rescue of her four years earlier on the night of the pre-graduation party. Those thoughts in turn led to her once again reminiscing about how the remainder of that night had gone, how she'd spent the majority of the night making love with her hero. The more she thought of it, the more she realized that she did see him that way. He'd rescued her that night and again last night. If only she'd given in that next night when he'd come to her sorority house. He could have rescued her from the life she was living now if only she hadn't been too scared to let him.
She had desperately tried to block those thoughts from her mind. It did no good to dwell on the what-ifs. She had to focus on the present and on the future. She had two little boys that she was responsible for and their needs had to come before her own. They needed a stable father figure and Joe could provide that. After all, hadn't Lee said himself that his job required him to travel constantly? No, she and her children were better off this way she tried to convince herself. Even though he marriage may a little rocky, she at least knew that her husband loved her enough to be willing to adapt to please her. Not enough that he's willing to stay home, she argued with herself. How is what you have now any different than what you would have with Lee? Maybe he would come home more often, and then at least you'd have a man that you know for sure wants you. No, she told herself firmly. She'd made a commitment to Joe and she was determined that she was going to honor that commitment.
She had finally been able to close her mind to all her nagging thoughts and had begun to drift off to sleep when she was startled by loud sounds coming from the room next door only this time the sounds she heard were not those of unbridled passion like those she'd heard like earlier in the day. This was the sound of a blazing screaming match. She couldn't make out all of the words, they were saying, but she knew without a doubt that they were fighting about her as she very clearly heard her name. She wondered if Lee's wife was just as jealous of her as Joe was of Lee.
Amanda decided that the fight that had happened next door was none of her business as she yawned, stretched, climbed out of bed and made her way to the shower to get ready for the day.
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Lee awoke alone wondering where Kelly was. They'd had a huge screaming match the night before that had turned into a very wild round of angry sex, which while physically satisfying, it hadn't been enough to distract him from his thoughts of Amanda as it had earlier in the day. Instead it had left him feeling cold, empty and a little guilty as if her were cheating on Amanda after the force of the looks that had passed between them before she'd retreated to her room. He knew it was because she knew just as well as he did that as much as she tried to deny it, there was still an intense heat between them. While there was no doubt that Kelly was hot, she just didn't have the same fire, didn't do for him what Amanda did. He doubted he would ever find a woman who did. The closest he'd come was Dorothy and she was dead, along with his child that she'd been carrying. He hauled himself wearily out of bed as images of the night before haunted him.
The door to their room hadn't been closed behind them for ten seconds when he was blindsided by a solid right hook to his jaw. "Hey, what the hell was that for," he shouted.
"As if you don't know!"Kelly had shouted back. "Do you mind telling me just what the hell that disgusting display out there in the hallway was?"
"Disgusting? Just how the hell is rescuing Amanda from an attempted rapist disgusting? Isn't part of our job to protect people?"
"I'll tell you how it's disgusting. Protecting people is one thing, but punching our suspect is quite another."
"That was in the name of protecting her," he argued though he knew it wasn't.
"Protecting her honor, maybe," Kelly fired back. "You didn't need to hit him. You'd already gotten him to back off and you only hit him because he insulted your precious Amanda!"
"This has nothing to do with Amanda so just leave her out of this! You're just pissed because it wasn't your honor I was defending. Oh, wait; you'd have to have some honor first, wouldn't you?"
She slapped him hard across the face and shouted, "Listen, Hotshot, I have worked on this case for six months. Six months and I'm not about to let all the hard work go down the drain because you've got a hard-on for your old girlfriend!"
"A hard-on! I seem to remember someone else giving me a pretty good hard-on," he said leering at her. She raised her hand to slap him again, but this time he caught her hand in his before it could connect with his face. "It was good too, wasn't it, Baby?" He grasped her other hand, pinning both hands behind her back as he pressed against her. "Had you screaming like a banshee."
Kelly Saunders tried to wriggle free but when he held her fast with a burning look in his eyes, she sniped, "God, you're no better than that drunken perv down the hall!"
"Oh, no, I'm much better than he is. In fact, if I'd been the one making a move on Amanda, I guarantee I'd be in her room, in her bed, by now," Lee fired back.
Lee was pulled from his reverie by the sound of the shower being turned on. So that's where she is, he thought. Her getting out of bed must have been what had woken him. Since working for the agency, he'd become a much lighter sleeper than he used to be. He'd had to as it had kept him alive in some very hairy situations.
Lee sighed as he sat up and reflected on his words to Kelly and wondered if they were really true. Would Amanda have let him in? He was almost sure she would have. He'd seen the hungry look in her eyes when they'd first met in the hallway and again at dinner when they'd talked about their son. The look in her eyes had told him that no matter how much she tried to deny it, she'd still never gotten over their one night together anymore than he had. The same fire was still there, yet it was wasted on a man who couldn't give a crap, a man who didn't come close to satisfying her needs, a man who, as far as he knew hadn't been around her for close to six months.
Thinking of Joe King and how badly neglected the woman they both loved made him sick. It made him sicker to think that he was the one raising his son, was supposed to be acting as a father to him, and yet was neglecting him too. He'd told Amanda again that he wanted a chance with his son, but she'd turned him down cold, even after he'd threatened to take legal action against her. He has plenty of ammunition to do it with. Maybe he should. No, that would just hurt her and she's been hurt enough, he thought. Besides, with his job, it wasn't as if he was in any great position to be a weekend dad to his kid. No, the solution wasn't to fight for visitation rights; the solution was to get her to see that they should be a real family. The agency made more allowances for agents with families. Maybe, Billy wouldn't sent him on as many overseas assignments if her were married.
Married, he thought as he glanced down at the wedding band he wore and cringed. A wedding ring was supposed to be a symbol of unwavering love and commitment, yet here he was pretending to have that with a woman he couldn't stomach. He wrenched the ring from his finger and launched it across the room, hearing it make a slight tinkling sound at it hit the door and ricocheted off the doorknob before landing on the floor. "Damn," he growled as he reached for his discarded boxers, pulled them on, and then crossed the room to retrieve it. He shoved it back on regretfully, but he knew that until the case was over, he still had to maintain his cover as husband to the Wicked Witch of the West. He couldn't help but chuckle a little at the imagery that thought had created, first that the name fit perfectly with his old ties to the OZ network and second, that Kelly had looked a little green during their massive fight the night before.
Gazing at the wedding ring once again forced his thoughts back to Amanda and how much he still longed for a life with her that she kept telling him that he couldn't have, even though he knew that deep down, she wanted it too. He'd seen the look in her eyes after he'd rescued her from Saarinan's unwanted advances reminiscent of the one her eyes when they'd first met and he'd rescued her from the drunken frat boy who'd made a move after she said now. He knew without a doubt at seeing that look, hearing her nervous stammering, that she'd been thinking the same thing that he had, that his first rescue of her had led to that one romantic, beautiful night they'd shared, which in turn had led to them making a baby together. He had to convince her that they belonged together, that he could give her what she really wanted.
Lee quickly threw the rest of his clothes on and marched resolutely out into the hall, rapping firmly on her door. When there wasn't an immediate answer and he heard no sound coming from inside, he knocked again and called, "Amanda?"
When she finally opened the door, Lee gasped at seeing her clad in nothing but her robe, her hair wet from a shower. He felt desire flooding through him at seeing her in that state and before he could give her a chance to protest, he pushed his way into the room, slamming the door behind him. He pulled her into his arms, pressed her against the door as he'd done in her dorm room all those years ago and captured her lips with his own.
Amanda's response was instantaneous as she linked her arms around his neck deepening the kiss that he'd started, kissing him back hungrily as if she were starving, moaning into his mouth at the feelings his kisses invoked. She knew it was wrong, but how could something that was so wrong feel so right. The way that he touched her made her feel as if she were right where she belonged where everything about Joe just felt wrong, like something was missing. The fleeting thought of her husband stopped her cold as she tore her mouth from Lee's, "No," she said. "I can't."
"Amanda, don't," Lee said in a hoarse whisper. "Please, don't do this to me again. You can't deny that you want this, want me." He cupped her face in one hand and added, "I can see it in your eyes."
"God, yes, I want you, but that doesn't make it right. I'm married. Married, Lee, I made a commitment and like it or not, I have to stick to it." She pushed on his chest and moved away from him to control the raging fire burning within her before she lost all sense of self-control. When she's made it across the room and said, "And whether you believe it or not, I do love Joe."
"But he can't give you what you need. You may love him, but you're in love with me. You know it and I know it, the same way that I'm in love with you, so why should we fight it any longer," Lee said as he crossed the room and once again wrapped his arms around her, kissing her soundly. At feeling her eager response, he became bolder, slipping one hand inside her robe to cup her bare bottom pulling her closer to him so that there was no mistaking his desire for her. He then lowered his lips to the tender pulse point at her neck as he backed up toward the bed.
"Lee," she gasped as they toppled to the bed together her landing atop him. She was tired of fighting it, tired of being lonely. She knew Lee was right that for all her talk of staying with Joe, he couldn't give her what she needed. She reached for the waistband of Lee's pants, desperate to feel all of him, feel him inside her, touching her, kissing her. She longed to feel the way he'd made her feel the night their son had been conceived, the way she hadn't felt since that night. "Lee," she cried out again as his hands began to explore her body, "Make love to me."
"Oh, Amanda," Lee groaned against her neck as she worked her hand inside his pants. Feeling her touching him, knowing that she was willingly allowing him to touch her, hearing her pleading tone asking him to make love to her sent his hear soaring. He shifted their positions, rolling her beneath his as he plundered her mouth with his tongue, delighting in the low moans it elicited from her. He felt her nimble fingers working the buttons on his shirt while he reached for the belt of her robe.
Their passionate interlude was interrupted by the jarring ringing of the phone jolting Amanda back to reality. She pushed on Lee's chest and wriggled from beneath him as she reached for the receiver, but Lee halted her movement with his hand on hers, "Let it ring," he said.
"I can't," she said disconcerted by the ardent desire in his eyes, a wave of guilt swamping her soul. "It might be my parents calling about the boys."
"Yeah, you're right. You should get that, Lee said as he nodded and released her hand. He saw the guilt-ridden look that had crossed her face, knowing that the moment was over and once again they'd missed their chance. He knew without a doubt in seeing that look that she wouldn't let him get that close again.
"Hello?"Amanda aid as she answered it. "Joe? No, I'm fine. I...uh...just got out of the shower, that's all...You're getting on a plane now? Oh, you're getting on your second plane."
"Damn it," Lee growled under his breath as he straightened his clothing and left the room slamming the door behind him, cursing the interruption, cursing Joe King for calling at the wrong time and cursing himself for not taking action four years ago when he should have.
Amanda wrapped up her conversation with her husband by saying, "I can't wait to see you tonight." That part was true. With her husband by her side, she couldn't be tempted to lose herself in Lee's arms again. As she hung up the phone, she glanced down at her wedding band that suddenly felt so tight on her finger. She slipped it off for a moment to stare at it and cringed at the thought of how close she'd come to breaking her marriage vows and causing Lee to break his. While she knew that Lee was right and she felt a desire for him that she couldn't shake, she was still having trouble believing he was right when he said that she was in love with him and not her husband. Why else would she be so happy that Joe was finally on his way, was catching his connecting flight to bring him home to her?
She shook her head in an attempt to shake off those nagging thoughts, slid her ring back on her finger, made her way to the mini-bar, pouring herself a stiff drink, not caring that it was only ten AM. She needed something to calm her unsteady nerves. As she down the scotch she'd just poured, she couldn't help her mind drifting back to the scotch she'd shared with Lee the night that he'd been so attentive and that they'd talked so freely, before spending the rest of the night locked in each other's arms. She lightly brushed her fingers across her lips that were still swollen from Lee's heated kisses and shuddered a little. "I have to stop thinking about this," she said to herself as she gulped down her drink and poured another one.
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That evening as the party was in full swing on the beach, Lee and Kelly walked hand in hand pretending to be the happy couple they were supposed to be, smiling and nodding at people they passed by.
"So, where'd you disappear to this morning while I was in the shower?" she questioned. "Off to visit your old girlfriend?"
"Jealous?" He fired back challengingly, but inwardly was downhearted because of the intrusion of Amanda's husband on what could have been a new beginning for the two of them. It was probably better this way, he tried to reason with himself as deep down, he knew that Amanda would have been wracked with guilt for sleeping with him while still married to Joe, no matter how much she might want it. He felt hordes of guilt himself at the way he'd pushed his way into his room, feeling no better than the guy he'd punched last night. She'd said no and he'd pushed until she gave in, or almost gave in.
Lee's thoughts were interrupting by Kelly's mocking tone beside him, "Jealous? Hardly. I don't give a shit if you screw every woman in the place," she hissed. "I just don't want your inability to keep it in your pants screwing up this case."
"Nothing's going to screw up this case as long as we keep our eyes on our target," Lee said as he nodded toward the temporary dance floor where the perp was dancing with Amanda. He looked on with disdain wondering what the hell she was thinking about dancing with a guy who'd tried his hand at sexual assault the night before. He couldn't help being curious what had led to Amanda giving him another shot. He knew he wouldn't have been that forgiving.
"Come on, let's get closer," Kelly said leading him toward the dance floor.
"Yeah, good idea," Lee said though it was the last thing on earth he wanted to do. They navigated their way through the crowd on the floor and found a spot close enough to keep an eye on their quarry. They knew from the conversation that Kelly had overheard, that whatever was going down was going down tonight. Their best guess was that it was going to happen during tonight's fireworks display that had been arranged as a precursor to the big event tomorrow night, and they had two teams of agents on standby just waiting for their signal. As they made a show of dancing as a couple would, Lee felt as if he'd been punched in the gut when her heard Amanda's laughter at something that their suspected perp had just said. He sighed and said, "You know, I've got a better idea. You and Jimbo over there seemed to hit it off. Maybe you could cut in. You'd really be able to keep an eye on him that way. Then if he suddenly has to excuse himself. You'd be in the perfect position to call in the strike."
Kelly glanced at the pair in question and said, "Logical plan, but are you sure this isn't just an excuse for you to get your hands on your old girlfriend?"
"Believe me, that is the last thing I want to do right now," he said with a sigh as he took in Amanda's slender form attired in a bikini with a wrap tied loosely around her waist, her back and midriff exposed reminding him of her similar attire the night they'd made love. He sighed again and said, "But it seems to be the best scenario."
"My God, you really do have it bad for her, don't you?" she said with a sardonic laugh. "I don't suppose it's crossed your mind that she's married. I mean, really married, not like this fake crap you and I are trying to pull off here."
"Don't remind me," he said bitterly. Then realizing how that sounded and not wanting his weakness for Amanda to be that obvious, he covered by adding, "I'll just be glad when this case is over and you and I can get a divorce."
"Can't happen too soon for me," Kelly countered. "Let's just get this done." She pulled herself from his arms as they approached the other pair, painted on her best smile and said sweetly, "Jim, so nice to see you again. I hope you're feeling better after over-indulging last night."
"You too," Jim said as he paused in his dance with Amanda. "You were a little under the weather yourself last night."
"Oh, I'm fine. My darling husband here took good care of me," she said with a slight leer for Amanda's benefit taking great pleasure in watching the other woman turning a little green. "I was just thinking though, that with everything that happened, I didn't really get much of a chance to get to know you. Lee has talked about his college days and I've so been looking forward to meeting all the friends he talks about. So, I was wondering if I might cut in here. You don't mind, do you, Amanda?" Without giving Amanda a chance to answer, she linked her arm with Jim's giving him no choice, leaving Lee and Amanda awkwardly staring at one another.
"Well, she's certainly...exuberant," Amanda commented as she watched her sweeping Jim away to another part of the floor.
"In more ways than one," Lee said suggestively a smug smile appearing on his face at seeing the flare of jealousy in Amanda's eyes. "Shall we?" he said offering her his arm.
"I don't know," she said as she wrung her hands together. "After what happened this morning...I...I..."she stammered nervously.
"Amanda, we're on a crowded dance floor. What could possibly happen? Besides, you getting a call from your husband right in the middle of things kind of put a damper on things, don't you think?"
"Yeah," she said as she conceded and let him lead her in a dance. "What about your wife? I thought this was supposed to be a second honeymoon for you. I...I...couldn't help but here you arguing last night."
"Yeah, things aren't going so great there," Lee said.
"You were fighting about me, weren't you? About what you did for me last night?"
"Just how much did you hear?" Lee asked worriedly hoping that she hadn't heard that part about the case. That would definitely blow his cover.
"Not a lot, just my name. It...it was pretty muffled."
Lee deciding to use that to his advantage said, "Well, she got a little jealous that I was so protective of you. Speaking of which, just what the hell do you think you're doing hanging out with him tonight after the way he attacked you last night?"
"He was drunk and got a little carried away. He apologized to me today and has been a perfect gentleman ever since, unlike some people I know," she said with a pointed look.
During their conversation, Lee had noticed that her speech was a little slurred. He shifted slightly moving his hand to the small of her back pulling her close enough to smell the scent of strong liquor on her breath. "You've been doing a little drinking yourself."
"I needed a little something after what...what happened," Amanda explained as she shivered slightly at the jolt his hand on her bare skin was sending through her entire body.
"Nothing happened. Your precious Joe took care of that," Lee said.
"Don't you think that's a good thing," Amanda said. "I mean, we're both married. It would have been a disaster."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Lee said. As much as he wanted to believe what he'd seen in her eyes when they'd almost made love earlier, that she loved him just as much as he loved her, he knew that she'd never own up to it, not as long as she still wore Joe King's ring on her finger.
"Besides, you said Kelly's jealous of me. Well, Joe's ten times as jealous of you."
"He has good reason to be. No matter how much he says he loves you and loves Phillip, He knows that there's a part of you that will always belong to me."
"No," Amanda denied.
"Yes, you admitted it yourself this morning. You can't lie to me about it anymore, not when I heard you asking me to make love to you, felt you in my arms lying there beneath me, felt your hands undressing me," he said in a low, husky voice in her ear. "It's just like I said in December, you may love him, but you want me."
"Lee, please don't. I know what I said and I meant it, but I...I can't. That phone call from Joe was just the wake-up call I needed to realize what a mistake I'd be making. I have two children at home to think about."
"One of whom is mine. Why don't you ever think about that, huh?"
"Lee..." Amanda whispered.
Lee ignored her protests as he continued seductively in her ear. "Remember the night we made him? How many times we made love that night. Which one do you think was the magic one, huh? When I was on top? When you were on top riding me like you were competing in the Kentucky Derby? Or maybe it was when we were on our sides and I took you from behind? God, I remember how much you enjoyed that one, the way you called out my name when I was inside you. I just wish I'd known then that I was leaving a piece of myself inside you." He paused for dramatic effect then whispered barely audibly, "I know how much you wanted me inside you again today."
"Please," she pleaded trying to pull away from him in a futile attempt to control her body's response to his so close to hers, the sinful words he was whispering in her ear bringing all the old memories flooding back. Amanda found herself surprised that he released his tight hold on her and held her at arm's length instead.
Lee still resting his hand on the small of her back guided her to the edge of the dance floor and away from the crowd. He then turned her to face him. "Relax, Amanda, I'm not going to try anything like I did this morning even though I know you want it," he said as he cupped her chin and gazed longingly into her eyes. He thought back to Kelly's vicious words of the night before and said, "That would make me no better than your friend over there. I just want this little trip down memory lane to serve as a reminder to you, when your husband gets here and you're letting him fuck you senseless later tonight, that he's never going to be me. I want you to remember how good it was between us and what it is that your body really aches for because we both know it's not a mild-mannered lawyer who has a more burning desire to save the world than he has for his own wife."
"Just what the hell is going on here," Joe King demanded having seen his wife exiting the dance floor with the man who'd once been her lover. In seeing the way the two were looking at each other now, he couldn't help but wonder if he was still her lover.
"Joe," Amanda said as she escaped Lee's grasp and launched herself at her husband and peppered his face with kisses. "Oh, Sweetheart, I'm so glad to see you. I missed you so much."
"Not enough, apparently," Joe said with an icy glare at Lee.
"Remember what I said, Amanda," Lee said pointedly giving Joe a mock salute as he strode off to find his partner.