Disclaimer: Nope don't own Naruto, and I never will. I'm only saying this because I'm at gunpoint. I do own Naruto…I mean I don't!
Story: Naruto is outgoing, outspoken, and oblivious. His female counterpart is the same, only she's engaged, in love with a jounin, and the Hokage loves to dress her up. And she can use mokuton jutsu.
Set as an AU.
Spoilers: Eh, not really.
Warnings: ?
Pairings: KakaNaru, NaruOthers
A/n: Happy Birthday, Naruto-kun!

Yare, Yare! Naruko Gaiden
Chapter Ten: Watashi wa Chuunin II

"Naruko! You made it," Kiba was the first to yell out.

Naruko grinned back, going to her knees to welcome Akamaru. She stood back up, carrying the dog with her and scratched behind his ears as she looked back to Kiba. The other rookies had joined him, crowding around Naruko.

"Well, I have to say I'm surprised to see you here," Ino had a smug smirk.

Naruko shrugged, "Not as much as I am about you," she returned the smirk.

Ino rolled her eyes, flicking Naruko's forehead. "Just don't get in my way, dork. I have better things to do than chitchat with you. Too bad Sasuke-kun's not here," she sighed.

Shikamaru yawned, "If only I had a shogi board. It's so boring around here…"

Naruko giggled, grabbing some chips when Chouji offered her some.

"Hey, don't you guys know you're attracting a lot of attention right now? A lot of negative attention?" another Leaf-nin like them, with grey hair and round glasses, walked towards them.

The rookies looked up and sweatdropped at all the glares they were receiving.

Naruko, for some reason, wasn't included. There weren't any glares directed at her.

"Saa, who cares? If they have time to try intimidating others then they're just insecure about their own abilities and chances at passing," Naruko pouted, even though she wasn't one of the victims of the death glares.

"Baka!" Ino bopped Naruko's head. "Are you trying to get us all killed?"

Naruko kept pouting.

"My name's Yakushi Kabuto," the Leaf-nin introduced himself.

Everyone went around introducing themselves until Kabuto pulled out a deck of blank cards.

"These are my chakra cards. They have all the information of all the ninja participating from when I first started to this Chuunin Exam."

"What do you mean from when you first started?" Shino asked.

"Meh…Chuunin Exams take place twice every year. This is my fourth year and my seventh try," Kabuto said embarrassed.

Naruko grinned and scrambled over to him, "You hear that, people? This man here is my partner! The dobe squad!" she yelled, grinning madly at everyone in the room as she grabbed onto Kabuto's arm. For once, she wasn't bothered by the dobe word.

Kabuto was a little nonplussed but grinned, rubbing the back of his head and feeling even more embarrassed.

"Would you like to use my chakra cards, Naruko-chan?" Kabuto asked.

"Hai, hai! Um…I don't know who to ask about. Oh, I know! Sabaku no Gaara, this guy that looks like Hyuuga Hinata but is really stuck up, Rock Lee…and I want to know what you have on me!"

Laughing slightly, Kabuto took out four cards and began spinning one with his chakra on the floor.

"Sabaku no Gaara…get this. He's been on 12 C-ranks, 9 B-ranks and 1 A-rank! And he's never gotten a scratch from any mission. Other than that, there's no other information.

"And Mr. Mystery Guy, which is rather fun guessing and finding out, is Hyuuga Neji. Teammates Rock Lee, Tenten and jounin sensei Maito Gai. Strong taijutsu, low genjutsu, and slightly above normal ninjutsu. 25 D-ranks and13 C-ranks.

"Rock Lee, low genjutsu, low ninjutsu, and off the charts taijutsu. Huh, he's got a low amount of chakra in him, just enough to sustain life. Same amount of missions as Hyuuga Neji.

"And now you, Uzumaki Naruko. Let's see, 11 C-ranks and no D-ranks. Low genjutsu, above normal ninjutsu, and above normal taijutsu. No teammates, jounin sensei is Hatake Kakashi, and…"

Naruko looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, when he had trailed off and stared at the card.

He cleared his throat and put a smile back on, "That's it. Is there anyone else?"

Naruko was a little disappointed but cheered up, "Nope, not for me!"

Kabuto went into specifics, explaining the exam and its purpose. He mentioned having little information on Sound, taken into misunderstanding and attacked by the offended Sound team.

Kabuto had dodged, but somehow was still hit. His glasses broke and Kabuto threw up.

Naruko glared at the offending group, "Hey you! You guys suck! You attacked my dobe squad partner! And just because he doesn't have any information on you guys! If you're offended over such a little thing, you should go crawl under a rock!"

A big poof of smoke erupted from the front of the room, interrupting the little fight going on. A tall, scary guy with a lot of others stood there in an intimidating manner.

"Anyone want to be disqualified already?" The scary guy frowned. "No? Alright, get into a seat. We'll be starting the 1st part of the Chuunin Exam right now."

Everyone hurried to a seat, Naruko ending up between some guy and Kabuto.

"I am Morino Ibiki and I am your proctor for this test. That's right; the 1st part will be an actual exam. These are the rules."

Ibiki began listing off the rules, emphasizing on the effects of cheating and what getting caught will do to your grade. Then he announced there would be a special 10th question.

Naruko whimpered, clutching her head. She just glanced at the paper and already her head hurt. The exam had barely started. Maybe she could cheat and just be extra careful on not getting caught…

Ugh! She's never cheated before and she won't start now!

She grabbed her paper and began scribbling furiously. When Kabuto glanced at her paper, wondering if she needed help, he sweatdropped.

The entire paper was covered alright, just not with the answers. Each box served as a box for a cartoon, anime characters from Bleach making an appearance. Her paper was an entire manga panel…

The sides had scribbles saying things like 'I hate school', 'This really sucks', and 'I'm doomed'. Kabuto had to choke back a laugh that threatened its way out of his mouth.

"Naruko, do you need help? You can copy off of my paper," he whispered to her, staring straight ahead.

The blonde froze, "Really? But…"

"It's okay, I don't mind."

"Why though?"

"Hey, we're partners in the dobe squad, right?" he said, letting a small smile creep onto his face.

Naruko looked up and saw it, biting her lip in hesitation.

"Thanks, Kabuto…but I think I'm going to try the 10th question. It's my only hope…and I want to try this on my own. I can't keep depending on everyone," she said seriously, facing the front also.

"Alright…but if you change your mind..."

Naruko smiled, but returned to staring at the proctor. She amused herself by holding a nonexistent staring contest, but then almost retracted when Ibiki turned his stare to her. Surprisingly, the staring contest became very real.

Naruko was startled when Ibiki actually looked away first, but then realized he was announcing the 10th question.

"Time for the 10th question! However, there are special rules."

As Naruko listened to him state the rules, she began to freak out. Maybe she should've taken Kabuto up on his offer…

As team after team left, and Naruko began swearing in her head, she looked around for anything –any kind of assurance. All she saw were unsure faces and apprehensive genin.

Gritting her teeth, she decided there was no way in hell some asshole was going to put her and the rest of her fellow genin down.

They'll rise up, even if it had to be anarchy!

Naruko raised her hand and then slammed it onto the table, drawing all eyes. "Hey, you! Remember this, Uzumaki Naruko does not quit, does not follow inane orders, and does not leave anyone behind! That's a promise! And I keep my promises because that's my way of the ninja! So you can take that 10th question and shove it up your ass, because I'm going to take it! Nothing'll keep me from becoming Hokage!"

She plopped back onto her chair and glared at Ibiki, as if daring him to contradict her.

She had no idea how from the start where she raised her hand she had scared the hell out of Kotetsu and Izumo, who clutched their clipboards still. At least she hadn't really raised her hand to leave, but she could've been less dramatic about the whole thing.

"Anyone willing to take that chance as well?" Ibiki glared around the room, whole body twitching in silent laughter.

This girl had completely erased the doubts in everyone. There would be no one else leaving.

"Alright, you all pass!"

The lengthy discussion afterwards had Naruko pouting, still smarting over stressing so much over the first 1-9 questions. And that she sucked at information gathering. Did she forget the unfairness of not realizing the unknown guy next to her was a chuunin in disguise, with all the answers?

She should've looked at Kabuto's paper.

The window broke as a figure hurled itself through in a ball, the cloth unfolding to reveal a purple-headed woman with strange, revealing clothing standing in front of a banner.

"I'm Mitarashi Anko and I'm your next proctor for the 2nd phase!"

Anko looked around the room, her expression mirroring surprise. "Ibiki! There's way too many! Have you gone soft? Your test must've been easy!"

Ibiki grunted, "No, just a lot of great potentials in here. And a stubborn minx," he muttered the last part under his breath.

Anko shrugged, "Whatever. Your jounin sensei will tell you where to report tomorrow morning for the second exam. Be there 8 sharp!"

"Hey, Kakashi! Ibiki tells me your brat ruined the 1st exam!" Anko declared, coming into the jounin lounge with an embarrassed Ibiki.

"Is that so? How's that?" Kakashi kept reading his book.

"There are too many genin that passed the first test this year…there would've been more gone but Naruko somehow inspired them all to take a chance and take the 10th question," Ibiki shook his head, still reading that piece of paper he had taken from the exam room.

"Ibiki, what's that? You've been reading it since you've left the exam room," Anko tried snatching it.

"You know, I just passed a person who didn't answer a single question and instead made a mini-manga…Kakashi, your kid is a real firework," Ibiki laughed disbelievingly.

"No way! Hey, this is good! Well, if being a ninja doesn't work out for Naruko, she could always become a manga artist. I'll be her number one fan," Anko said, reading.

"Anou, Kakashi, Anko's…right. I, uh, kind of want to know what happens next. So if you could ask your student…?"

"Aha! That's why you keep reading it over and over again!"

The jounin sensei in the room all looked in disbelief at the two special jounin, as well as every other jounin there.

"Um, sure," Kakashi muttered uncertainly, going back to his book.

"So you'll ask her to make another one?" Anko turned to Kakashi instead.

"Hai, hai…"

"Hatake Naruko," Asuma said out of the blue.

"Huh? What are you talking about, Asuma?" Anko looked at him strangely.

"I just thought of what Naruko's name would be when she marries Kakashi. Hatake Naruko. It has a nice ring to it," Asuma grinned. Yes, that's alright. Focusing on Kakashi and Naruko made it easier not to think about him and Naruko.

Kurenai stifled her laughter.

Kakashi grew red, embarrassed but more in anger. "For the last time, Naruko is my student. That's unthinkable."

"It's not really forbidden, you know. Besides, don't tell me you won't even approach her when she's a chuunin? Or just when she's not your student anymore?" Kurenai sighed.

"It would be too awkward and Naruko would never feel that way," Kakashi stated frustrated.

"Whoa, what's going on?"Anko looked around. Ibiki stayed quiet, having heard some rumors. Only that Kakashi and Naruko were a little too close, but the rumors he heard weren't really clear of what was going on.

"I'll catch you up later, Anko. And Kakashi, did you just admit you like her in that way?" Kurenai's face slowly formed a sly grin.

"It'll never work out," Kakashi scowled.

"But –"

"She's in love with Genma and she's engaged to the Tsuchikage!" Kakashi blurted out angrily.

"Whoa, drama. Hey, are we stuck in a soap opera or something?" Anko nervously joked.

Genma wasn't there, but Raidou was. And those two always shared practically everything.

"Eh, the Forest of Death?"

Kakashi nodded, "Yup, that's the place. But really, that's just what everyone calls it. It's really Training Ground 44."

"Saa, sou ka. Anou, is there anything else I need to know?" Naruko smiled up brightly at him.

Now that he was sure of what he felt, it was much more obvious of how he reacted. Of course he turned bright red.

"Just be careful, okay? The Forest of Death is called that for a reason. And the Chuunin Exam is known to turn out a few dead genin and whatnot. I don't want you to be one of them."

"So serious! Kaka-sensei, I'm going to be okay. I have the best jounin sensei ever!"

Even if he was flattered and they were meant to compliment him, Kakashi couldn't help feeling wrong. Having her say that made him remember that he was feeling something for his student that was entirely not acceptable.

"Just take care, Naruko," Kakashi sighed.

"Right!"

"Luck," Kakashi ruffled her hair, careful not to do anything else.

She looked disappointed and it tugged at his heartstrings. Sighing again, Kakashi brushed his lips against her forehead. Naruko's demeanor cheered up and she kissed his eye. She left for her home, ready to rest for tomorrow.

"Ah, Kakashi. I see Naruko's all fired up for tomorrow," a very much not wanted voice was heard.

"Genma," Kakashi acknowledged without turning to face the other jounin.

"I heard a little rumor today. It's like another one that troubles me. One that involves you, me… and Naruko," Genma responded quickly, his senbon still in his mouth.

"Sou ka," Kakashi knew exactly what Genma was talking about.

"Kakashi, do you really like her?"

Kakashi didn't hesitate in his reply, "Yes."

"Hn…I understand. Kakashi, you're my friend. But so is Naruko. I don't want to see her hurt. I hope you will take very special care of her," was what Genma had to say before walking away.

"You know she likes you," Kakashi glared at his retreating back.

"Yeah…I've known for a long time."

Kakashi didn't find his answer.

That was something he couldn't repeat. It had been nice just standing on that tree with Naruko for hours on end, and enjoying her sweet smell and the softness of her skin against his, the silkiness of her hair brushing up against his face and the warmth of her body seeping into him as he held her high in the sky.

Genma knew it was going to end badly.

He shouldn't have let himself become so infatuated with her, especially considering how young she was. Naruko wasn't even a genin, hadn't even graduated from the Academy, and here he was longing for her. How sick was he? He was becoming unreasonable; the life of a shinobi was finally getting to him and he was cracking in the head.

He needed to distance himself from her. He could see that she was becoming a little too attach to him as well, but he knew it would fade and he couldn't encourage it. This would work for the better for both of them. Less heartache. She would move on and her little crush would fade, and he'll agonize quietly to himself, but at least he wouldn't be taking advantage of her.

Because that was what it would be. With her age, her vulnerability and lack of others to be attached to…and he being one of the few that she was attached to and one of the few that was nice to her and therefore earned her clinging to…not to mention the level of trust, power, and influence he had over her because of it…

Yes, it would be much better for him to stay away. Especially with those big blue eyes of hers staring at him adoringly and that hint of a promise of something more he wanted deep down. He wouldn't let her get her heart broken and for him to give in, tempering his determined restraint.

He had to keep the temptation at bay, even though he really actually didn't want to.

Genma wouldn't have given him an honest answer.

"Alright, punks! Time for the 2nd phase!" Anko cheerily yelled.

Naruko shivered in fear at the manic grin on the special jounin's face. She scooted closer to Kabuto, who had silently agreed to partner up with her for the exam, as his own team would also split to cover more ground.

"Hey, Kabuto-san…is it me or is that lady a little crazy?" she muttered to her partner.

Before Kabuto could answer, a kunai whizzed by and cut Naruko's cheek, landing just before one of the genin of Grass. Naruko felt herself freeze, watching Kabuto's face darkened angrily. But she was more distracted by the trickle of blood down her cheek.

"Brats like you are the first ones to go," Anko narrowed her eyes menacingly, grinning creepily.

"Yeah, that's what you say, baa-chan," Kabuto retorted, but was ignored.

Instead, Anko disappeared and reappeared right behind Naruko, holding a kunai to her neck.

"Oi, gaki. Terrified? You should be," Anko laughed and dragged her tongue over Naruko's wound.

Naruko shivered, but then remembered something Hiruzen had drilled into her what she should do if she was ever harassed. Something about learning it in a special orange book…

Naruko purred and smiled innocently, leaning her head and baring her neck.

She sniffled and pouted, wide blue eyes staring into Anko's face, "You're so cruel," she whispered.

All in all, Naruko was like one of those innocent schoolgirls that are too naïve but sexy for their own good.

Anko blinked in surprise, laughing in her head. All the guys around them had nose bleeds.

The Grass genin that had been sneaking behind the two was caught staring, kunai in hand.

"I was going to return this," she muttered before dashing back to her team.

Letting Naruko go, Anko walked back to the front and smirked.

"Alright, here's the deal. I'm not gonna be responsible if any of you go kapok. Die, but first you'll have to sign these consent forms," Anko went back to being cheery.

Everyone sweatdropped.

Soon enough, she went back to explaining the task and the rules, letting everyone stew in their anxiety gleefully.

"Okay! Now here's the deal, everyone will have to have a complete set of scrolls –a heaven and an earth scroll. With these, you have to reach the tower in the middle of the forest. You can't open them, you can't have a teammate dead, and you have to be at the tower within five days. Everyone got that? Good! Wait for your turn to sign and turn in a consent form and one of you in your team will get a scroll. Don't forget to beat the crap out of the other team for the other scroll in the forest!

"Remember, anything goes!" Anko finished off in a sing-song voice.

Naruko waited off to the side for her turn, hurrying when it was. She waited for Kabuto, feeling oddly helpless. She missed Kakashi. Kakashi would cheer her up.

"Alright, I'll meet up with you inside, okay?" she hadn't even noticed Kabuto coming back.

"Ah, okay. See you," Naruko muttered as they split to their separate gates. She looked at her heaven scroll and wondered who had an earth scroll she could take.

She ran as soon as the gates were open.

Her nervousness began to wear on her as she darted between trees, looking for teams that could potentially have her missing scroll. Deciding she should rest a bit, she stopped and sat down.

Her mind worked miles per minute, trying to decide her best course of action. Kabuto was somewhere, and there was no guarantee they could meet up…at least not right away.

"Ah, there you are, Naruko!" Kabuto's voice came into range.

Naruko blinked in surprise. It was a rather odd coincidence.

"Hey! That was quick! I didn't think we'd find each other so quickly," Naruko felt the hair on the back of her neck rise. Something wasn't right.

"Honto ni? I was right behind you," he chuckled.

Naruko was still feeling uneasy, sensing something dark about Kabuto.

"Kabuto…? Is that really you?" Naruko questioned.

"Well, well…caught through my disguise already. Don't worry, Naruko-chan. It'll be painless," the imposter sneered, ripping his face off to reveal the face of the female Grass-nin from earlier. Even then, it still didn't feel right.

"You're not from Grass either, are you?" Naruko said as she backed away slowly in fear.

That long, freakish tongue that Naruko vaguely remembered giving the kunai back to Anko earlier snuck back out and licked her lips. Suddenly, she ripped her face off too.

A serpentine face that held golden irises stared back.

"No, I am Orochimaru of the Sannin. And I've found I have a change in my plans. For the better," at a speed she couldn't follow, Orochimaru darted towards her while making seals at an unbelievable pace.

He stopped at a foot away, leaning back before holding two fingers to his mouth and saying, "Katon: Karyuu Endan!" blowing a huge chakra-fueled fire formed into a dragon straight at her.

She almost screamed, but settled for dodging away in panic.

"Now, now. You're disappointing me. Can't you do anything?" he said condescendingly.

'Kyuubi, if you can hear me…I've never asked for anything. Please, help me out!'

A familiar warmth surrounded her, red chakra filling her vision.

You owe me, gaki…

Naruko let out a roar and ran towards Orochimaru, who actually looked panicked for a second. Then the look transformed into interest and glee.

Rather than use jutsu, Naruko headed straight for a pure taijutsu fight. Kyuubi's power had significantly increased her speed and strength, allowing her to at least force Orochimaru back a bit. But the sannin was persistent.

Snarling, Naruko swiped at Orochimaru's head and took off a couple of inches of hair. Orochimaru just laughed.

Orochimaru backed off, jumping away into a tree. He still grinned at her, making her even more angry. She was about to follow him when he did a few hand seals and then he jumped in front of her, slamming his hand into her navel.

"Five Prong Seal!"

She felt Kyuubi's power fading, her sneering mouth flinching.

"Anou, you have a lot of seals now, don't you?" Orochimaru contentedly stated. "One more won't hurt, now will it?"

He bit her neck harshly, placing his Cursed Seal.

Started 5/27/07 –Completed 5/29/07

Revised 3/24/11 –Completed 3/24/11

A/n: Ahaha, I've been waiting a long time to put this chapter up. Things really start going now. The reviews are picking up again, but please keep up the reviewing! Arigato gozaimasu!

Also, remember my poll!

More excerpts (yaoi this time):

The Black Dahlia: (At an early age, Naruto met Kyuubi and has almost completely merged with it. His features vulpine and elfin, the Council uses him to create ties with the other villages and other potential allies.)

"Nagi-san, how are you? I didn't expect you to be here. It's totally unlike you, lurking on the balcony," Naruto teased.

Wine-red hair dipped down, shadowing his face. "Orochimaru came to me. He wanted me to join him."

"I know," Naruto said soothingly.

"What do you want me to do?" Nagi finally looked up. There were dark circles under his eyes.

"It's too dangerous for you to meet up with him again. He's probably planning on killing you and taking your place by pretending to be you. In the end, he'll backstab Suna just by killing you. I'll go and pretend to be you instead."

Nagi shook his head, "No, I don't want you to go. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine," Naruto assured him. "I have this handled. You and your children will stay here and I shall leave soon."

"I'm sorry I brought all of my kids. I know you only meant Gaara, but…" Nagi blurted out.

"It's fine. Quit worrying. You're stressing yourself out."

"Alright, just be careful. Okay? You…helped me deal with Shushaku. You helped me gain my son back. You've done so much for me. I can't see my life without you…"

Naruto smiled at him and the Kazekage walked passed him, heading towards his room. Naruto stayed a moment longer, staring out into the stars. Sighing, he stepped back into his room and closed the doors to his balcony.

Kage: (Chapters of Naruto's liasons with various kages. Some linked to the Black Dahlia. Pairings: Kages/Naruto)

It was his turn again, and he wanted to take Naruto out on a simple outing. There weren't many places in Sunagakure that were ideal for picnics, but Nagi had been hard-pressed to find something. And he had found an oasis some ways away, where he took Naruto to.

They lay on the blanket, barely clothed because of the sweltering sun, but the trees and water provided a relief from the sun that outside the oasis couldn't. Nagi dipped a finger lazily into the chocolate he had brought along for the strawberries, holding it out for Naruto. Naruto laughed lightly, before leaning forward and Nagi watched mesmerized as Naruto's lips encircled his chocolate covered finger.

He felt Naruto's slick tongue move in languish movements against his skin, his mouth sucking slightly. Shivering faintly, Nagi took back his finger and replaced it with his mouth. He moved his mouth at an angle, sucking on Naruto's bottom lip. His hands wanted to roam over that lithe body and he allowed them to.

A/n: And that should be the last of the excerpts because I don't have any more written (sweatdrops). I suppose if I have more I'll put it up, but yeah…Summaries, at least, should be on my website.